Failure stories

[BipBippadotta]

I'm far past the point where I'm interested in fertility success stories. Tales of lucky couples who triumphed over impossible biological odds to have their miracle baby make me want to self-immolate. Help me feel less alone in my utter irreversible barrenness by telling me about all the fertility treatments, supplements, folk remedies, voodoo, etc you've tried, that work for every other fucker on the Internet, but did bugger all for you.

I'll start!

Things that didn't work for us:
Grapefruit juice
Guaifeneisin
COQ10
Acupuncture
Vitamin E
Royal jelly
Wheatgrass
Pycnogenol
Low carbing
Inositol & melatonin
Cutting caffeine and alcohol
L-Arginine
Baby aspirin
Maca
B6
Starflower oil
Soy isoflavones
Clomid for DH (to increase sperm count)
Clomid for me
Clomid & injectables
High doses of antibiotics
Prednisone
IVF with ICSI

Saw my consultant this morning. He was really sad that we’d had another washout month and agreed that with such low oestrodial and absent progesterone, it was likely that my lining hadn’t grown enough for there to be anything to shed. So regardless of the coil irritating anything, if there was nothing much to irritate, there wouldn’t be much/anything to shed.

He agreed we should give Tamoxifen a go, so I started that this evening. So I’m to take it for 5 days - like Clomid - and he’ll scan me next Weds (plus I think he said we’d check oestrodial levels too).
 If poor response then we'll add in some Gonal-F next week.

I did have to laugh though, he asked me if I had any thoughts about what dose of Tamoxifen I wanted to try (as I was the one who asked if we could try it this month), whether I wanted 20mg or to go straight onto 40mg. I said 'what do you think?!'. He replied: 'I thought you'd say that!'. I said I thought we'd left the softly softly approach behind a long way back and we were now at 'go hard or go home'

I have to laugh or else I'd just be crying. Have lost half a stone thanks to metformin and sadness, although as we're pumping me full of hormones, low body fat won't actually affect my fertility. Ho hum.

Phone battery dying so quickly...

Banana that's so frustrating. At least it is only 5 days til you'll get some kind of result. How's your DH?

Bean I think you were considering testing today...? I hope the anniversary is bearable tomorrow

Otd here. Bfn.

Oh bean that is shit. I'm sorry.

Fuck sake 😞 I'm so so sorry bean.

Bean I'm so sorry, what shitty news.

Will you go back to the clinic for a debrief?

Will
Go for a debrief at some point. My consultant is away. In the mean time am looking at other clinics for advice. Score deciding if we jump ship.

I'm so sorry Bean, please look after yourself

Urgh.

DH was out for big lunch with the lads (which is still going). I called about 20 minutes ago and one of his mates answers the phone. Mates wife is due 5 days before my due date (which he knew) and he kept going on about how excited he was to become a dad and his wife's belly is huge.

Thanks for reminding me I'd be 8 months pregnant by now!

I know he's drunk, but how fucking insensitive. I'm enraged.

Bean just to say I'm thinking of you .

Again how is your back? So sorry to hear about that dickhead friend, I'd have been incredibly rude to him I think.

Blue I think you said you'd test early? In which case, lots and lots of luck.

Banana hope the drugs aren't too bad?

Hello to everyone else. Bip, I hope you're ok and just lurking.

Thanks for thinking of me Robber. Have regained about 85% of movement in lower back so I'm really pleased. Still quite painful though.

Ah yes blue you did mention you might test one or two days early so it doesn't coincide on your DH birthday?

Still thinking of you bean** Have you had time to process what your next steps will be?

Thanks both. Waiting for consultant to come back from holiday to see what she thinks. But think we will probably move clinics. Looking into care and one other at the moment.

Again I'd be furious at the insensitivity - make sure he's reminded when he's sober Glad your back is on the mend.

Bean good idea to move clinics if you're not happy with them, make sure you get copies of all your notes so you can pas these to wherever you go.

Robber I'm still away at the moment and deliberately didn't bring any HPTs with me. I'm 7dp5dt so I don't know if it would be accurate yet anyway. I have to wait to get home. OTD is Wednesday, DHs birthday is on Monday 🤔

Good luck Blue, I so hope this round works for you.

Bean would you consider going abroad?

I dont think so robber

Everything crossed here for you blue xx

Good luck blue - thinking of you

bean even clinics you wouldn't necessarily cycle with can be worth a consult, just to get additional opinions that might help decisions (or prompt more questions to ask)

Again I'm so so sorry you've had to deal with such a massive cockwomble

robber tamoxifen is fine. I thought perhaps the headaches might have been a drug side effect but the stinking cold suggests I'm just run down. Scan on Weds to show what it presumably isn't doing. Sad really that I long for side effects to lure me into a false sense of reassurance that something might be going on?!

Between injections, pills, patches, pessaries, suppositories and intravenous infusions there isn't an orifice I haven't taken fertility medications via (apart from nasal spray or IM jabs). I'd shoot meds into my eyeballs if I thought they would help!

I got a second pink line, I can't quite believe it. I'm 9dp5dt today, it's faint but definitely there, hopefully with get stronger by OTD on Wednesday. DH happy with his birthday gift (the pee stick).

amazing news xx

Thanks Bean xx

Blue that is such good news! I've cracked my happy dance out again in your honour.

Bean are you going to look at any clinics soon? When is your consultant back?

Banana you are ridiculously tough, I'm wincing at all of that and you seem unfazed! Are you doing any woo stuff atm? Let us know how Weds goes.

Tiger if you're lurking I'm so sorry to have seen your news. You and your DH are in my thoughts.

Woop woop blue - happy dancing going on all over the shop

tiger - no words. Just hugs. Thinking of you

robber I've taken / am taking so many medications and had so many procedures the physical side of IVF is just very routine now. My last IVF cycle I had: Gonal-F, Cetrotide, Ovitrelle, Lubion and Clexane injections ; G-CSF uterine wash, viagra and progesterone pessaries; oestrogen pills and patches; intravenous intralipids ; and prednisolone, thyroxine, metformin and aspirin tablets. I've had 4 egg collections and 3 surgeries in the space of 12 months. Really, a few injections and meds shoved up the vag or bumholio are small beans.

The IVF is physically the easy bit. It's being off all my pain meds and having uncontrolled spinal pain and being unable to function properly that's the hard part

Currently it's annoying not being able to take ibuprofen because I'm not supposed to take NSAIDs with the pentoxifylline due to risk of gastric bleeding. As that's a long term protocol it's a bit annoying not being able to take ibuprofen for hypermobility aches, but I'd give up ibuprofen for life if it meant the pentoxifylline worked to help my endometrium! Sadly I suspect it's a zero sum game, but there you go.

The weight loss on the metformin is a bit of a struggle, as it kills my appetite and if I force food down I feel sick, so my BMI is plummeting, - that's the only troublesome one tbh. As I'm on contraception and therefore neither trying to get nor stay pregnant will ask the consultant if we can reduce the dose for now. I don't mind feeling a bit rubbish if it'll do me any good, but right now I'm not sure how much benefit the met is offering me

Apparently it's possible to get pregnant with some sex??!!!

Oh and no woo - after 18 months and 4 IVF cycles and no improvement in my lining and no bloody baby, I now feel released of the emotional blackmail to force myself to piss money up the wall on ridiculous fertility woo like acupuncture or mayan abdominal massage or reflexology (that was a colossal waste of time, but I felt guilty at the thought of not going 'just in case').

I lost this thread - can't name check as on phone but from top of my head

Bip. Glad all still going well

Blue. Congrats. Bet you made dh birthday

Tiger. So sorry. Saw on other thread we are on

Bean - so sorry and why won't you consider abroad?

Banana - as usual your battle and info and what you have tried amazes me

Totally understand why you don't want to waste precious fe till you know womb and lining is ok - do you think you will use a surrogate?

Waves to all and hope haven't forgotten anyone x