Failure stories

[BipBippadotta]

I'm far past the point where I'm interested in fertility success stories. Tales of lucky couples who triumphed over impossible biological odds to have their miracle baby make me want to self-immolate. Help me feel less alone in my utter irreversible barrenness by telling me about all the fertility treatments, supplements, folk remedies, voodoo, etc you've tried, that work for every other fucker on the Internet, but did bugger all for you.

I'll start!

Things that didn't work for us:
Grapefruit juice
Guaifeneisin
COQ10
Acupuncture
Vitamin E
Royal jelly
Wheatgrass
Pycnogenol
Low carbing
Inositol & melatonin
Cutting caffeine and alcohol
L-Arginine
Baby aspirin
Maca
B6
Starflower oil
Soy isoflavones
Clomid for DH (to increase sperm count)
Clomid for me
Clomid & injectables
High doses of antibiotics
Prednisone
IVF with ICSI

Thank you blue. I'm being silly I know. Yesterday there were 4 heading to blast so I guess we had just hoped there would be something to freeze. We always anticipated doing a sET so this was a bit of a turn around and I hope we've made the right choice.
I think the number refers to size and the letters to quality but i didn't really take it all in.

Blue whooop!! That is such good news.

Bean I can understand why you feel a bit down but please remember how far you've come in just a few weeks. And I know it is a cliche, but it only takes one...

Again different strokes and all that, but work has been essential to my sanity throughout this whole thing. It was nice to have something that I felt I can be good at by working harder/smarter, whereas fertility stuff often felt like a gigantic crapshoot, and the harder we tried at it, the worse I got! Could you try easing yourself back in - maybe temping or freelancing or contract work, depending on your skillset - to see if it helps you?

Also BANANA come and say hello! And everyone else - how are you?

I got the call from the clinic... I've got 6 mature eggs, of which 5 fertilised. Less than I was hoping, and v nervous about whether any will get to blast. They will call me again tomorrow.

Ah Blue that's tough. Out of 16 eggs to have only 5 fertilised when I know you were hoping for more.

Like Robber said, it only take one!

True, pregnancy in my the last cycle was the epitome of it only takes one!

I'm just anxious because the lower drug doses on this cycle were supposed to reduce quantity of eggs but increase the proportion of mature eggs, but in fact it's the same, 37.5%. I have a feeling this week is going to harder than a 2ww!

Ah Blue sorry it wasn't the news you were hoping for, but five is still good news. When will you hear from the clinic again?

Bean how are you feeling? When is OTD?

Again how are you doing - are you and your OH ok now?

Good thanks robber. Dh flies to the states tomorrow am until Monday so determined not to test while he's away. Otd is 23rd (9dp5dt). I'll probably test the day before as that day is the anniversary of mum's death. My clinic don't do betas and wanted me in for a urine test. I've refused and said I'll do it at home and call them.

That sounds great Bean. I hope you've got a lovely distracting weekend planned.

Bean I'm glad you got your cycle in before DH's trip, I know you were worried about the timing before. Fx for you.

The clinic called today and all 5 embies are doing ok so far, but I know it's still early days. I'm booked in for a 5 day transfer on Saturday morning. They're not going to call me again so I won't know how they are doing each day - which is probably good for my anxiety levels!

Blue hope your embies are doing ok? Lots of luck for tomorrow.

Bean hope the waiting isn't too painful. How do you feel?

Good luck blue

Hope everyone else is doing well - robber hope everything is going well for you?

AFM, well I had my bloods done on Monday and it’s a mixed bag. I have been absorbing the oestrogen patches, but not the cycloprogynova tablets, it seems - as my oestrodial had risen, but my progesterone hadn’t moved, which suggests I haven’t absorbed the progestin in the HRT

Scan on Monday to see what’s going on, but I can’t imagine that anything will happen when I finish the packet, as I presumably won’t have a progesterone withdrawal bleed if there’s no fall in progesterone levels

Dr said in his email that he thought the best way to thicken my lining would be to use some mild stims to try and get me to ovulate, as my body seems to respond better to natural hormones (with an artificial boost) than artificial oestrogen and progesterone on their own. Will discuss on Monday whether we do ovulation induction with Gonal-F or if we give Tamoxifen a whirl. We’d discussed trying Tamoxifen in the past, and he said he was definitely open to seeing how I got on with it; although some clinics use it for donor egg recipients who don’t respond well to oestrogen, my Dr said he used to use it quite routinely instead of Clomid for ovulation induction back in the 1990s. Will also discuss whether we add in extra oestrogen with patches and Cyclogest to make sure my progesterone levels are where they need to be. Oh the indignity of 2 weeks of Cyclogest when I’m on contraception and can’t therefore have any chance of conceiving!

Bloody hell banana it's never ending for you.
Blue hope you get good news today.
Afm 5dp5dt. Am fine. Wish it was otd already so we knew either way.

Thanks for the kind wishes. I have a 3BC blastocyst on board and I'm thrilled! Two potential candidates for freezing if they develop further overnight - we'll find out tomorrow. DH was incredibly nervous though, more than me! There was a hairy moment though when we first arrived and the embryologist took us into a meeting room rather than the surgical area, and seriously kept us in suspense while she went through our notes...we were fully expecting to be told that there were no embryos to transfer. After then being told that there was a leading blastocyst, we nearly did a happy dance in the office.

Blue that's amazing news! I'm doing a happy dance in my kitchen at the news. So when is OTD?

Bean only three days til the day you said you'd test. Are you having a good weekend? I hope you're doing something distracting and relaxing.

Banana good that you've been absorbing the oestrogen, crap news about the rest. It does sound like your consultant is still full of good ideas and confidence. After Monday, what are the timescales - when might you start the OI? Fingers crossed you don't need cyclogest, that stuff sounds terrible. Are you still enjoying the new work contract?

AFM, yesterday was my 12 week scan. To my utter shock I am still pregnant and the baby seems fine. I've got my NIPT test next week, and then a terrifying 10 day wait for results. I don't think the terror of being on the wrong side of the stats will ever go away.

Robber loving the image of your happy dance! OTD is 30th but it's DH's birthday on 28th and we're due to see our fertility counsellor on 29th so this time I'm tempted to test early (I've ordered some First Response tests 🙄)

Congratulations on your 12wks scan, that's lovely news but yes, the anxiety doesn't disappear...

Thank you Blue. Also I keep forgetting to thank you and Banana - thanks to your information about cervix length and hypermobility, I nagged enough people to get a consultant's appointment on 30th (I'll be 14 weeks) to check my cervix length. I'm really grateful

Congratulations blue - hope the coming days pass speedily with a lovely surprise at the end

Hope you're hanging in there bean

Amazing news Robber! Absolutely thrilled for you - hope you are feeling OK physically, though I appreciate emotionally is quite another story

I don't know what timings will be - I'll find out more on Monday when I see my consultant. I presume that we just wait for levels of oestrogen to fall, although maybe I'll need provera to bring them down, I'm not sure how it works with unopposed oestrogen. Not sure whether if Dr is happy to try tamoxifen this month, whether it'd be instead of Gonal-F or we could try it as well as. Or indeed if we'd add in extra oestrogen. Or not. Or extra progesterone. Or not. Cyclogest doesn't bother me, none of the drugs really bother me in the grand scheme of things. I'll take whatever meds or procedures it takes to at least feel we've done everything we possibly could. Whether we get there or not is sadly another question entirely.

See what happens on Monday. The notebook of doom is charged and ready.

And great news about the consultant's appointment too robber! Hope it's helpful x

Great news robber.
Hope you get a plan tomorrow banana.

Fab news Robber! Makes it all a bit real doesn't it?

Blue I'm thrilled for you! Although don't envy the 2ww you now face. That also goes for bean. My anxiety was through the bloody roof.

Jesus Christ Banana. It really is never-ending for you but your consultant sounds top-shelf (I don't know if Brits use that saying? As in he's the top-shelf - untouchable, unreachable, so amazing, better than all the lower shelves). Glad you are here though, we are on this Infertility Merry-go-round with you.

AFM, DH and I back on good terms. I have made an effort not to talk about pregnancy/IVF/babies as soon as he walks through the door every evening after the poor thing just worked a 16 hour day.

We went to Winter Wonderland with DSS yesterday and I was showing off doing some tricks on the ice skating rink and fell so hard on my coccyx bone that I BLACKED OUT 😳 Literally passed out on the rink and had to be carted off in a wheelchair in front of hundreds of people. Apparently I hit a nerve that runs up the spine to the brain. I'm in so much pain, but also v embarrassed 🙈

I hope that provided a nice giggle for some of you on this Sunday morning.

Banana let us know how Monday goes? I've got everything crossed for you.

Again ouch, I'm wincing at the thought! You poor thing. Have you had it checked out?

Thanks everyone for the best wishes. Physically I'm not feeling great, but it is worth it to have got this far. On the upside, nausea and headaches are great distractions from worries about MMC, trisonomies, cervix length, pgp...

Think I'm going to make an appointment with the GP tomorrow or Tuesday to get an x-ray just in case Robber.

I know how you feel on the nausea front. I was sick every day well in to my second trimester until I gave birth. Fond memories of vomiting on myself and the hire car in a McDonalds drive-thru in Spain when I was 14 weeks.

Again you poor thing! I fractured my coccyx and sacrum (and ended up having it surgically removed 8 years later - very unusual I might add!) so I quite literally feel your pain!! I can highly recommend a ring donut cushion, beloved of women who've had episiotomies and those with piles xx