BESH - relocated to less offensive surroundings

[cooperG]

Hi hags, here's our new thread. Did we decide to post the BESH-tionnaire or not? I'll have to go and dig it out if so..

Newbies - we think we're much like the ladies in the 'mind-numbing boredom of infertility' thread ladies, but we can't admit defeat, oh no. After the new recruits kind of dried up over in conception, we've moved over here where there are no insta-differs to send us into fits of rage/tears.

(BESH stands for Bitter Evil Selfish Hags - named so by the Daily Mail I think...) come and be bitter about the shit-ness that is infertility with us...

Hi everyone!

Thanks so much for the advice!

The consultant was absolutely brilliant, took his time (inc showing me studies etc) to answer all my questions and was generally very nice and reassuring.

See if I remember everything.

They are not overly worried about Mr Erica's sample with the low amount of morphologically normal sperm, apparently the quantity and mobility is good enough to work even with the current, frozen, sample. Still, we will give another in case it's better.

The ultrasound showed that everything looks clear, linen with a normal thickness etc... Also 7 small follicles, so I guess I don't need to keep fantasising about a last minute, surprise BFP. Hmpf. Well, at least I know now so I won't be hoping for a miracle!

I asked about all the extras ... For the scratch, he says it is proven to help women with implantation issues (which apparently I don't have) and since I had the biopsy so recently, he did not advise it.

What else? He suggested using IMSI to make the best of the availabe sperm. And PGD, obvs.

So on a bit of a high, strangely! Due to start as soon as the droid shows up in around 10 days.

Thanks again everyone for holding my hand through today.

Hi Jenbot,

Sorry you found yourself here. However, if one is to go through this infertility shitshow, there is not a bette place for advice, support, ranting and swearing.

I did hope for a sticky surprise BFP this month ... I have got pregnant four times before but lost them every time and I have not children :( last time it was just before we were meant to start IVF and I don't know what to hope for, maybe we just cannot make viable embryos on our own? Anyway, they saw that I had ovulated a few days ago and 7 follies so that put an end to any BFP fantasies!

People know my story of mcs but I may not tell so many people about IVF, or when we are actually doing it. Mainly because I would hate having to say "it has not worked" a dozen times if it doesn't. And also, if it does work and I manage to get pg, I will probably be a mental case for the first 9 3 months or so and anyone trying to "cheer me up" or "be positive" is in danger of having their heads bitten off. I would probably just hide in cave and wail in here.

Everyone in my and Mr Erica's family is super fertile too. It does make us feel left out, it sucks.

Welcome Jenbot sorry you're here, but hopefully it's a short visit for you... Beware, I am living up to the B in BESH, so please don't be frightened off if I go on a ranting rampage.

Erica well done on your appointment...it's good to feel underway huh!? So what do you mean pgd obvs? Why obvs?

Still no sign of stupid period...

Erica never heard of melatonin for IvF!
So exciting you're finally getting going!! Never heard of IMSI, is that similar to ICSI? Fingers crossed the droid doesn't keep you waiting.

Place sounds like you have an amazing gp there! I got my folate online, it's because of the mthfr gene, my body can't process folic acid so I have to take it as folate. It's actually in pregnacare max anyway, but as I still had a whole box of pregnacare preconception I carried on taking these with the extra folate until I'd finished them.

Blue good to see all is well with you hag, I've been hanging out with the RMC crowd, they all understand my overwhelming anxiety all too well!!!

Jenbot After 4 years of TTC and no natural bfp we got a bfp after downregging with ivf 2, just as I was impatiently waiting for the droid so I could go for my baseline scan. I'd already started the intralipids drips by then though so I think it was a combination of those helping my immune system plus the hormones in the downregging that made it possible. lost the baby at 7 weeks though The nurse said it was more common than you'd think and possibly related to the hormones. I know so wine else it happened to. It wasn't the whole 'you've relaxed because you weren't trying any more' bollocks that some people spout though as we'd already had two embryo transfers before then as well as the clomid and iui so you'd think I'd have 'relaxed' sooner wouldn't you?!
My consultant said that embryo glue was the only thing he'd recommend as the evidence seemed to point towards improved success rates while the evidence of the scratch affecting pregnancy rates was inconclusive.
We were very open about the ivf and some people asked questions all the way through and others just knew it was happening, but when I didn't want to talk about I just said so and everyone respected that.
My MiL pretty much funded our last IVF (we paid for the extras) so unfortunately I felt like she had every right to know everything. I still feel like she's bought herself a grandchild and I'm going to be eternally indebted to her. Oh well.

Place So annoying about the period! I have read here before that going for a run and ahem, having sex or masturbating can help gets things started?

"PGD, obvs" - obvious only if you are super familiar with my medical history, sorry about that, bit self centred from my part.

It is because of the recurrent miscarriage with no clear explanation. Apparently my Protein S deficiency is not quite dramatic enough to "justify" all the loses, specially when taking Fragmin did not help last time and still mc-d at 10 weeks (one consultant said that the fact I made it that far was "very positive" - what do you even say to that when you have just mc-d for the 4th time?) . So the idea is that the preimplantation genetic diagnostic may help so the embryo is a healthy, strong one with more chances of sticking. I think there is a bit of leap of faith being taken here but it is the recommended course of action in our case.

Barking IMSI is a modification of ICSI, basically they look at the sperm very very very closely, so they can identify any potential issues, no matter how tiny.

So good to see you and Blue around! :)

(I'm always here, I'm just quieter these days )

God Erica you've been in the wars as they say. If this IVF rubbish was fair, you'd be getting the next take home baby! No need for me to follow your ridiculous advice of going for a run as droid has arrived! Hurray! I feel like death, but hurray!!

Melatonin is apparently good for the hags...recommended for egg quality. I'm on my way to 38 so am just taking it as a just in case scenario. Eggs were good last time, but I had been taking high dose ubiquinol and melatonin, so feel I should keep it up.

I wonder if they can do imsi with surgically extracted sperm...hmmm.

Thanks Barking I think I'd rather take folate than folic acid if I can...something about folic acid accumulating in the body and potentially being a hindrance to conception and folate being a more natural form.i know I sound crazy but it can't hurt can it? Especially if pregnacare are using it, that's a good sign! That's so great your mil could pay for your treatment, but don't carry that guilt with you! You don't owe her anything but gratitude for the cash. If you're not comfortable with something, don't be guilted into it! Easier said than done though huh? I've been staying at mil for almost 3 weeks and this is just the beginning. I have to bite my tongue in every conversation and think oh I'm so grateful for the accommodation etc etc, even though she is a raving lunatic.

Jenbot super fertile people can fuck right off at this stage. Their opinions are neither needed nor wanted! That must be tough.

Hey Place! Glad the droid showed up (this is not something it gets said here that often!)

Here is the study of the potential benefits of melatonin on IVF treatment, very interesting and promising!

www.news-medical.net/news/20100915/Hormone-melatonin-improves-egg-quality-in-IVF.aspx

If my period arrives on time, I should start the stabbing next week! Whaaaaaa!

And wtf, I have to mix the GonalF myself?? Barking, come to the rescue!

What's the rationale for having to mix Gonal yourself Erica? Special dose? Seems unfair to me, first stabbing is hard enough as it is!

Argh, I don't know! I have been prescribed Gonal F 1050, 300 units (mils? mgs?) for the first 7 days, then they will see how I am doing and adjust the dose.. so I guess that is the reason? is this a really strange way of going about it?

ARGH!!!

I used gonal f. It was a pen with a dial that adjusted dose. Blue is right, unfair making you mix it yourself...maybe it's cheaper that way?? Exciting to be starting though!! Eeeeep!

I have just youtubed it and the mixing is fine, you just inject liquid in a vial with powder inside... but I was desperately hoping for a "pen" thing instead of a traditional syringe :( Ugh!

Still, if it is because it is cheaper, I don't mind... this is wiping us out!

Thankfully my friend, who is a doctor, lives nearby and has offered to help when I have the inevitable breakdown!

You'll be fine Erica After your first shot, you'll be a pro! If it hurts, I found icing the site for a bit helps a lot.

Same as place, mine was a pen which does make it so much easier. Had to mix the others though (trigger shot and something else? Forget what it was) and it's not awful, it's just not as easy. I very much had to build my confidence up in stabbing but was soon (in the words of Erica at the time) 'stabbing like a boss' - you can do this Hag, we are all rooting for you

Oh and adjusting the dose is normal, they do it in response to follicle growth (was the only time getting treatment in another country was a pain, had to phone the doctor who wasn't mine and didn't speak much English and try to figure out between us what dose he was suggesting, caused a mini panic!)

Erica you'll be fine .
Just think yourself lucky you're not using menopur. I had to mix three vials of the stuff into one needle!! And had two other injections to do at the same time. Had to do it in the office once and was running out of time before a meeting so had to recruit my friend to help me mix the others while I injected!!!!
You'll become a pro in no time .

Tell a lie, it was 4 vials. Then one of the gonal f and one suprecur (didn't have to mix that one, it was a bottle I took a dose out of each night).
Not too bad when done at home but a bugger when out and about.
Here was my nightly ritual:

Hi ladies, i hope it's ok to join you but I just wanted to say I am learning so much reading your posts. Thank you so much for sharing.
We're just starting IVF and have a meeting next week to learn about dosages and injecting etc. I'd never heard of the scratch or glue so need to do some more reading now!

Ps fb is a bitch, lots of announcements from lots of lucky people!!

Wow Barking! Ok, I guess I only need to mix once. I think I will get used to the stabbing (I did, sort of, with the Fragmin). I just need someone to hold my hand the first time I think...

Hi SoSam, sorry you found yourself here... when do you expect to get started with IVF? Have they found a "cause" for your struggling to conceive?

I guess this all makes more sense if I explain that Mr Erica is away for work the first week of the treatment (and during that crucial first stabbing).

He says he feels bad about it but if we had to wait until we had 8 weeks with no traveling (thinking of two cycles here), we would never get on with it. He is here for "taking eggs out bit" (excuse my scientific lingo) and transfer, and that works for me.

We're hoping to start the 'stabbing' as such in August. Quite nervous about it all but we should hear about the doses and drug combinations next week so trying to keep calm! The combinations you guys are talking of slightly blow my mind, mixing it up yourself a etc. I hope they give me a dummy guide!

History, I've had an ectopic resulting in one tube removal and have 'unconfirmed' viability of the remaining tube (inconclusive dye test!). Although since the tube loss, I did manage to fall pregnant, see a heartbeat and then miscarry another baby. (Sorry if that sounds blunt, obvious emotional turmoil ensued) dr says odds of natural conception v low and high risk of another ectopic so IVF here we go! Plus it seems hubbys sperm is not 100% so will probably need ICSI, but they said they will decide that on the day when doing the 'mixing'.

Also, have you guys discussed the scratch or glue method for the transfer? Any thoughts?

SoSam Sorry you had to go through all that, sounds terrible. And I completely understand the "bluntness"... when stuff keeps going wrong, one cannot afford getting emotional every time is recounted (though please feel free to rant and vent and swear here).

I forgot to ask my consultant about the glue method but when asking about the scratch, he said it has good results on women that have implantation issues (which apparently I am not considered to have...). I think the theory is that it is used with women with implantation failure (IVF does not work over and over and other reasons are not found) and if you have been pregnant more than once (our case and yours), it won't necessarily help.

Seems it is a similar case for the glue... that said, I will ask my doctor next time.

Thanks Erica, yeah I'm definitely going to ask about the glue next week.

I seem to be going to loads of bloody baby showers at the moment. Which is all very well, I absolutely wish all the best for them and wouldn't wish it not to be happening for them but internally ridiculously jealous. Also as my friends know we've had 'issues' it's like they look at you weirdly, waiting for some reaction/pity! Rubbish!!