BESH - relocated to less offensive surroundings

[cooperG]

Hi hags, here's our new thread. Did we decide to post the BESH-tionnaire or not? I'll have to go and dig it out if so..

Newbies - we think we're much like the ladies in the 'mind-numbing boredom of infertility' thread ladies, but we can't admit defeat, oh no. After the new recruits kind of dried up over in conception, we've moved over here where there are no insta-differs to send us into fits of rage/tears.

(BESH stands for Bitter Evil Selfish Hags - named so by the Daily Mail I think...) come and be bitter about the shit-ness that is infertility with us...

EC went well, they collected 12 eggs... now we wait for call tomorrow to see how man fertilised and take it from there

12 is awesome Erica! Congratulations, I'll be watching to see how they go. Any news as to whether they'll do a fresh transfer?

Rebecca, great to hear all is going well for you.

Hi to all hags!

That's great news Erica. Fingers crossed for a good crop.

We don't have any frosties so all our hopes are pinned on this little one on board (3 stoped developing and 1 is a poor quality blastocyst)

Hi guys,

I'm just lurking in th background but I wanted to say I'm really pleased the most recents cycles seem to be going so well, such fab news. Fingers crossed for the results.

Hello to everyone else out there xx

Thanks, hags!

We wait for a call, even - sorry, still a bit confused ...

My estradiol levels were 4153 on Friday, they don't like them to be over 4000 before EC so we will see how the estradiol/progesterone levels go this week and then decide. When I say decide, I mean "do whatever the clinic suggest to give this round its best chance to work" :)

BlueRoses Everything crossed for the little one on board! So tomorrow the y tell us how man (if any) fertilised, on Wednesday how man (if any) passed the PGD and then I guess whether we transfer on Friday or not... feels a bit like the Hunger Games!!

Fab news Erica - were all 12 mature or will you not know that until tomorrow? Good luck for your day 1 results!

Keeping everything tightly crossed for your little onboard embie Blue x

They said that the lab reckons 10-11 should be mature but we will have to see...
Massive suspense!!

Stalking...

Not very good news, unfortunately...

8 were mature and only 3 fertilised, which is below expected. They are suggesting that we freeze this three and we do another round of stimulation so we have more embies to PGD (we pay 3000 euro to PGD up to 8 embryos so it does make sense in a way).

Basically, it is a gamble:

• If there is anything to transfer and it goes well, we will have spent 8K.

• If we do another round, this would be another 4k or so but more chances of it working, since there would be more embies to PGD (I assume)

• If we go for it now and we start from scratch, we would have to spend another 8K.

Not to mention all the stress etc... don't know what to do.

Oh god, that's a really hard decision Erica. We got 3 eggs, 2 fertilised and made it to blast, both of them went straight back in to me as my consultant said it probably wasn't worth Genetic testings (I had planned to have it as it seems to massively increase the change of IVF working and was only an extra £1000 at Reprofit ) with only 2 and I might as well pop them both back in and see what happens. This was much easier for me because I've no history of miscarriage and so there wasn't the fear of another trauma.

God, I really don't know what the answer is. Do you have a gut instinct?

Thanks Blue. I have no idea what to do, to be honest. I think I was sort of prepared for not getting any embies or something but not to be making this sort of decision half way through...

I think it would be easier if we knew for sure the miscarriages were for genetic reasons, then it would be a no brainer? But I am terrified of going through the whole thing, getting a healthy embie if we are lucky and still losing it after all...

I can really understand that, it's all so incredibly unfair and shitty .

Because I like to be a problem solver - as annoying as that is - Would it be an option to test the 3 this time and then move clinics to somewhere cheaper if you needed to do another round?

One of the Reprofit women was doing embryo banking for PGD one at a time as she produced few eggs. It's possible but it's just an extra thing you really don't need.

Am really thinking of you Hag X

Erica I'm so sorry you haven't quite had the news you were hoping for. There are still 3 in the game though so all is not lost!
Do you pay a set fee no matter how many embryos you get tested in one cycle. Or do you pay per embryo like we do at Reprofit?
If you have to pay the same price for testing no matter how many embryos you have, I wouldn't test them this time. Instead I think I would transfer whatever made it to blast (and freeze one if all 3 made it) and see what happens from there.
Then if necessary (and it might not be necessary!) I would look to do another fresh cycle in the new year.
I don't know if that's helps; it's just what I would do xx

Thanks Blue! Just had a chat with my fc. We have decided to see what these three embies do:

If all three make it (unlikely I know), it is reasonable to PGD the three of them and transfer in January (I seem to have overstimulated a bit and they want my lining and my estrogen/progesterone levels to be as good as possible).

If only two make it, no point in doing PGD only for them, we will freeze and decide if we stimm again to get more and PGD, or just transfer them in January.

If only one makes it, we will transfer in January, since there is a big chance that another round would only bring me one or two more embryos max and PGD would be equally not so crucial.

So feel better now that we have a plan of action.

Am I making sense, hags? Going slightly mental here!

Thanks Rosebud - yes, we pay a set fee, that's we/they are trying to make it worth it...

To be honest, if we do not get any good embies after all this, the IMSI etc, we may just quit. The whole point was to give it our best shot at producing healthy embies so...

That's why even - Jesus, I am making zero sense today!

All three embies are developing, two of fairly good quality, and a third not quite as good but could still work, they say.

We have decided to freeze them from today and take some time to decide if we just transfer in January once my body has gone back to normal (PGD depending on whether we have 3, 2 or 1 left by then) or I do another round of stimms and then see.

I am ok with this. Obviously wishing we had more embies and that I could have transfered this week but this morning I was bracing myself for all of them having died, so pretty chuffed.

I'm sorry you didn't get more embryos Erica. Sounds like you've got a plan though and I hope it works out. So hard to decide when there's so much money involved!! It would be interesting to see if there was any genetic issues with the embryo that were contributing to rmc, I suppose that's why you had decided on it in the first place though? Anyway, keeping fx for all 3. These few days waiting to see how the embryos fare, is so acutely stressful. The 2ww is massively stressful but it covers more time. This is intense stress in just a few days! Hope you can ,manage to get through relatively unscathed!

Blue, I'm sorry your other embies didn't make it, but keeping absolutely everything crossed for your little champ onboard.

How you getting on Sarah?

Hi to SoSam and rose, hope everything is going well for you both.

I'm just having a breather from it all ATM. I need to request a copy of test results, notes etc. Then I need to start the ball rolling with new clinic. just need to feel motivated to make that phone call.
We are having a little holiday next week. Just 6 days, but it will be warm and there's a pool. So just plan to sit around feeling nice and warm in the sun, maybe have a few drinks, not much of a drinker usually, but fuck it, why not!? I do enjoy a Bloody Mary
Hopefully we can start a new round in January. Feeling very nervous about Christmas. I think we are spending the few days over Christmas with mr place's family. Nutso mil, bil and sil and the niece and nephew. I had stupidly had a fleeting thought that I might be pregnant this Christmas, but of course that was stupid and now I feel how we all feel about it, really shitty and depressed. Plus they all knew we had an IVF round. So there's the mix of pity, but also the fact they just don't have a clue how devastating it all is. Flippant things like "why don't you just adopt?" And "oh well, you've got your cats" get flung around. I know they mean well and just don't know what to say. But coming from people that got pregnant first month off of bc both times and nutso mil who didn't even try and accidentally got pregnant with mr place, they really are clueless and sometimes a bit smug. Anyway, sorry, there's my Christmas rant. I hope you've all got some miracle survival strategy to get through it, maybe you could share?

Ugh, didn't see your recent post Erica. Great news that they are doing well!

Place Sounds like you have a good plan in place, specially the holiday. (and the bloody mary). Yum!

I hate Christmas with a passion (always have, to be fair) so I always try to plan it so I can pretend it is not happening. When I am forced to celebrate with the family in a Christmassy manner, I just keep telling myself "this too shall pass, the 2nd of January WILL arrive!" and have another drink.

Instadiffers know nothing, Jon Snow. Try and ignore them.

I have a question for you some of you hags: what does a FET cycle entail? I have not yet decided if I am going to do another round of stimms or not (lets wait until I get over the ovarian hyperstimulation, shall we?) but I realised I have not idea what would happen in January if we decide to transfer then?

There's a number of ways they do a fet, it all depends on your situation or how your body responds. They way they did mine (my period decided not to arrive after the stim) was to start on day 1 of my cycle. I took synarel and estrogen. Then on about day 16 I think they started me on progesterone. Basically to tell the body that I've ovulated. Then they put the embryo back 5 days later (because it was a blastocyst). But people do natural cycles, where they just monitor you for ovulation and the put the embryo back a few days later, depending on how old it was when frozen. Others still, I've heard of having a long down reg before a fet, I think they do this with endometriosis patients. So I would say that you would contact your clinic on day 1 of your cycle and they would give you instructions from there.

Who's Jon snow?

Thanks Place I had really not factored having to delay the transfer in so a bit like "what the fuck happens now?"

I gather you don't watch Game of Thrones then? How are you, hag?

Haha, yeah, I think I'm the only person in the world who doesn't watch game of thrones.

I reckon you should give your clinic a call and see what kind of fet they have in mind for you and when they want you to call in. It will help you plan a bit I guess.

Yeah I'm ok. Looking forward to a holiday. Feeling unmotivated to get started at a new clinic but at the same time wishing I was in the middle of treatment. I always feel a bit better about the whole thing when I'm doing something.

Hope you don't mind me checking in - Erica, sorry to hear you didn't get more embryos, but as you say 3 are a lot better than none. Can't add to Place's excellent description of an FET, but I will just say I'm glad we did one - firstly (obviously) because so far it's worked, but also I think that giving your body a chance to recover from the whole drama of IVF is no bad thing at all. Anyway, fingers firmly crossed for you.

Place, hope you enjoy your holiday in the sun and sympathies for the nutso Christmas that's looming. I DO have a Christmas strategy as it happens. Sorry, I feel a rant coming on as I feel really strongly about this. My strategy is: don't go! Nobody HAS to spend Christmas about their biological families OR in-laws. We are all grown-ass ADULTS, and we all have partners and have a perfect right to spend Christmas just with them if we want to. My best ever Christmas was when I had just come out of hospital and was very feeble and genuinely unable to go away anywhere, so just went out for Christmas lunch with inlaws and then spent the whole rest of the time with Mr Noodles in front of the TV with a box of Cadbury's Heroes. BLISS. Book another few days somewhere hot, or do a minibreak in nice country pub, or have some friends around or just staycation with the cats. Just say you coudn't get a catsitter, or you have highly infectious shingles or you have to work, or something - anything. You deserve it.

Now having said that my inlaws wouldn't let us get away with it totally - we would have to have a 'fake Christmas' meal with them at some point. But that is preferable to spending three days or whatever under house arrest.

Sorry, that was a rant. But my point is that it isn't illegal to spend Christmas away from family. Some people even spend it alone. They survive!

Blueroses, hope you're OK and surviving the 2ww - was thinking of you this week with Jovan's due date on Monday.

Hi to everyone else.