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Infertility

Our Infertility Support forum is a space to connect with others in the same position, discuss causes, treatment and IVF, and share infertility stories of hope and success.

BESH - relocated to less offensive surroundings

803 replies

cooperG · 03/06/2016 20:50

Hi hags, here's our new thread. Did we decide to post the BESH-tionnaire or not? I'll have to go and dig it out if so..

Newbies - we think we're much like the ladies in the 'mind-numbing boredom of infertility' thread ladies, but we can't admit defeat, oh no. After the new recruits kind of dried up over in conception, we've moved over here where there are no insta-differs to send us into fits of rage/tears.

(BESH stands for Bitter Evil Selfish Hags - named so by the Daily Mail I think...) come and be bitter about the shit-ness that is infertility with us... Wine

OP posts:
EricaJ · 12/11/2016 17:49

Thanks Blue and Blue for the advice!

In the end the my estradiol results came back yesterday at over 300 (whatever that means) so I started stabbing the Cetrotide (to stop LH surge and therefore ovulation) last night - seriously the preps one must go through for a good stabbing sesh, you would think they would have figure out how to make it easier by now!

I also asked my consultant about the endo scratch and he said it had been found effective on patients with implantation issues so there is definitely something in there. But since I had a biopsy in April and a D&C in August, he figured my poor endo had been scratched enough this year .... :)

Oh, fuck it, we will probably get both the IMSI and the Embryoscope in the end. PGD is so expensive anyway and at least those do not need me to go through painful stuff (the biopsy was AGONY!).

Blueroses99 · 12/11/2016 22:18

Good plan Erica.

I've just done my trigger shot, all set for Monday.

EricaJ · 13/11/2016 17:34

Oh Roses, I will be thinking of you tomorrow.

I have my check up at 9am (it was meant to be today but changed to Monday because of the Estradiol thing) - I am nervous I must say. What if I don't have any follies?

Blueroses99 · 13/11/2016 17:40

Good luck tomorrow Erica, scanxiety is natural but your estrodiol reading is a good indicator that something is happening in your ovaries

Blueroses99 · 14/11/2016 13:19

There were 16 eggs! I'm not going to get too excited until I know the number that are mature and fertilised. I've had more than 50% being immature before, and I'm really hoping the slower dosage will help improve that. (First cycle 13 eggs, 7 mature, 5 fertilised, no blastocysts. Second cycle 24 eggs (!!), 9 mature, 6 fertilised, 3 blastocysts of which 2 transferred leading to 1 pregnancy, and the other not frozen due to poor quality.)

I've just got home and am ready for a bit of a snooze 😴. Just as well I'm off work so I can have a few restful days.

Erica how did you get on?

EricaJ · 14/11/2016 13:30

Roses That is amazing!! I would be veeeery excited :)

Today they saw 10 main follies and a few smaller ones but my understanding is that they will aim for these 10 to be ready for egg collection (Friday or Saturday... AAAGGHGHGHG).

They seem happy with this, we will have to see! I have my next check up on Wednesday, I guess we will know more then but I have decided to give myself a break from worrying about having fucked it up with the injections (let's see how I managed that Wink

Roses Super happy and excited for you - what happens now? ET next week, wwiiiiiiii!!! Some Brew and Cake for you.

Also, my fc is back and while he definitely recommended IMSI, he said that since we are doing PGD, he would describe the Embryoscope as "optional" . So we have removed that one from our plan for now but we can always decide to add it on later on. It is nice to save some money and also nice to feel that they are trying to offer what will work for us!

Blueroses99 · 14/11/2016 13:44

Erica that's fantastic! Makes sense re the Embryoscope - it'd be used to select the better performing embryos but in your case the PGD will do that more accurately. And yes, you wouldn't have 10 follies if you weren't doing the injections right so relax!

ET will be on Thursday or Saturday depending on how the embryos do. I can't risk twins with my cervix condition so will be having a single embryo transferred which I guess will inform their decision as to whether it'll be day 3 or day 5.

sarahburneraccount35 · 15/11/2016 07:06

Erica and Roses great to see positive updates and fingers crossed for you both over the next few days.

I'm having a bewildering time and sorry for TMI. Was so excited last week to have my first positive OPK (naturally after Clomid failed) and thought I was in the 2ww, but now it's one week on and I'm suddenly bleeding. I don't think it's implantation bleeding as its more than spotting and bright red. Guessing this means I ovulate just a week before my period which doesn't seem like good news?

Blueroses99 · 15/11/2016 09:55

Just had the call from the clinc. I've got 6 mature eggs, of which 5 fertilised. Less than I was hoping, and v nervous about whether any will get to blast. They will call me again tomorrow.

Sarah it doesn't have to be bad news but getting tuned into your cycles may help with timing of DTD and ovulation.

sarahburneraccount35 · 15/11/2016 10:27

Good luck roses thinking of you for tomorrow's call.
I have left a message for the clinic to find out my next steps. Grrrrr!

Thisistheplace · 15/11/2016 10:37

Just wanted to wish Erica and blue and any other hag cycling all the best! Sending out hippy vibes that this is your time.

EricaJ · 15/11/2016 11:24

Hi Sarah,

Not necessarily bad news- do you know how many days between ov and period arriving? I have had cycles with a 9 day luteal phase and no one seemed particularly concerned... I would keep observing. That said, my implantation bleeding was more than spotting and bright red, it just stopped until one day...

Let us know what the clinic says.

Roses The whole thing is a headfuck but 5 fertilised eggs sounds pretty good? I don't know, I seem to come across people that got 3 eggs and were fine and others got 23 and also were fine? Hoping you get good news tomorrow!

Place Oh, thanks, hag. Just going slightly insane here, as you do Grin However, I cannot complain about having bad physical symptoms, just some cramps here and there and I am used to the crazies though... how are you?

Thisistheplace · 16/11/2016 00:36

erica, yes it is a sanity reducing time. Nothing quite like cycling to make you lose your mind. The duel influence of excitement and devastating fear...my god, it's torture!! Shock

Blue, 5 fertilising out of 6 is pretty fantastic! Embrace the mantra "quality over quantity"! getting 16 eggs and then at the next update youre down to five is hard to get your head around, but I'm serious about quality. I mean nearly all of the mature eggs fertilised! Let us know your next update. It's really hard these few days. I think it's the most stressful time!

Sarah, I'm sorry I'm not much help, but I'll be interested in what your clinic has to say.

Where are all the other hags up to?

Our update is, that we are abandoning our last NHS cycle. We received one of their vague infamous letters that says they will only do SSR by biopsy method, not by tesa and will only do it before egg collection and freeze it. WT? This is exactly why it went wrong last time and the exact opposite that we had all agreed we would go forward with. We just wanted the simplest procedure that causes the least damage and to do it fresh on the day. The amount of distress and emotional pain we have gone through at this clinic has been so damaging, we just can't go through it again. Besides the fact we have lost faith in their general competency i.e. They want to pursue a method that we just proved to have a poor outcome (freezing), yet they want to use a method that is much more destructive (biopsy), and in our case unnecessary (obstructive azoospermia and normal spermatogenesis). Cannot figure out their logic, nor can I understand their changing of plans without explanation and at the same time giving a frosty and hostile front. Bewildered would be the word.

So....onwards and upwards! Looking at clinics that are good with mfi issues. I had to rule out reprofit as they only do tese (biopsy) and don't do tesa (needle aspiration) which I was a little surprised about. So far serum in Greece is a front runner. From emails I've had, they seem to make sense in their approach to SSR. They are all over immune stuff too, so I want to throw everything at it before we do another round. By that, I mean, testing. I want to see if in fact I have any immune issues that need treating, have I been using the right treatments, have I been over treating etc?? Mr place wants to check his hormone levels and see how much damage as been done so far and get an idea about how many more procedures he'd be able to go through. At the moment, think somewhere between 2 and 4 more max. But only if a tesa. If he has a biopsy, that would be the end of the road biologically for us (have been introducing the idea of donor sperm...far out this is tricky ground!!!) This is why it's so important to get it right! So looking at maybe cycling in January. This should also give mr place 6months since last tesa, so sperm production should be back to normal and risk of testicular failure lessened (something our current clinic never mentioned or discussed :(
It's such a shame, we waited for two years and were so excited to get started with them. I never dreamed it would turn out like this. This is the last thing I want. I could never have imagined that it got so so bad. So bad that we would forgo a fresh round, SSR and two possible fet! I mean, it has to be pretty bad to do that!

Blueroses99 · 16/11/2016 12:10

Place that's a huge step to be turning down funding so it must have been a difficult decision for you and Mr Place but everything that you have set out is entirely sensible so go for it! (Incidentally there a thread about seeking clinics in Surrey and someone has put forward Woking, just in case you wanted to comment...)

Erica how are you getting on?

Sarah did you hear anything back from your clinic?

Hi to all hags out there!

AFM My 5 embryos are doing ok and I'm booked in for a day 5 transfer on Saturday. No further daily updates - which is good for my anxiety I think. Will just have to hope for the best!

EricaJ · 16/11/2016 12:55

Place I agree with Roses, sounds like a tough decision but makes absolute sense to me. It must be so frustrating that they are proposing a course of action that you have already decided (with the clinic) is not the right one. I have been told that the "right course of action" for us might be to wait to get pg again naturally (because it is so easy for us Hmm ) and then when/if I miscarry again, we can analyse the foetus to see what went wrong and then decide if we should IVF/PGD. Yeah. Maybe. If we were robots that would not be completely distraught about a mc #6 Angry

Please let me know if you would like me to pm you details about my clinic in Spain. Hold in there, hag, we are here for you.

Roses That sounds good! My check up today went well, apparently the eggs are growing at roughly the same speed which is good - another check up on Friday and then collection on Sunday (99%). So we both have an exciting, nerve-wrecking week end ahead!! Grin

sarahburneraccount35 · 16/11/2016 19:48

Place that sounds so tough. It sounds like you are extraordinarily well researched and informed and that you've made the right choice for you for how to move forwards.

As for my am I / aren't I - clinic says wait and see. I'm pretty sure I have started my period but they're hopeful its emplantation bleeding. I know in my bones I'm not PG. The spotting is exactly how my periods usually start. Throwing myself into work and gearing up for the next cycle which should start next week. The good news is I do seem to ovulate, if only extremely rarely, but I'll take any win I can right now!

Good luck everyone else on the thread, posting or lurking. We are all in it together.

sarahburneraccount35 · 16/11/2016 19:50

Forgot to ask my question! Those who have done OI with injections, what day of your cycle do you normally start? Concerned if this IS a period next week will be to late to start injecting?

Blueroses99 · 17/11/2016 13:51

Sarah I'm guessing from the fact that I don't know what OI with injections means that I haven't had to do it... Sorry!

Thisistheplace · 17/11/2016 14:51

Yeah, sorry, I think we are all ivfers. I can't help with anything oi or iui related. Someone might come along and help though.

Here's something new our current clinic recently told one of their couples. They had just had their second failed round and asked about trying something different. They said they won't change anything and to do the same thing again. Then she asked about using steroids. Answer: "We won't prescribe steroids during IVF because it means your baby will have a cleft palate and be still born".
They recently prescribed me and a number of other ladies steroids. Wow! It's breathtaking the nonsense they get away with!

RebeccaNoodles · 17/11/2016 17:09

Hi hags! I'm back from holidays and dropping in to say a quick BESH-t of British (?!) luck to Erica and Blueroses for your transfers ... Sounds like it's all gone well so far, will have everything crossed for you that that continues. Hope you have lots of entertainments/ distractions/chocolate lined up for the 2ww.

Place, sounds like you've got a good plan ahead - good to cut your losses with your previous clinic, they weren't serving you. I'd say you will be amazed by what you can achieve with proper professional treatment - I have a good feeling about it for you. And no more staying with MIL! Win!

Hello to newbies and hope your stay here is short.

I just had the first scan yesterday and saw a heartbeat - I'm now 9 weeks. I feel very, very lucky. Will head over to the PG section for now and hope I get to stay there. But will be checking in on all of you and keeping my fingers so tightly crossed for you all. And thanks for all the support and advice. You're simply the BESH-t. Flowers Brew

Blueroses99 · 17/11/2016 22:51

Place how ridiculous.

Rebecca hope you had a good hols and lovely news about the heartbeat. Definitely go and make yourself comfy only the pg boards now.

Erica good luck with the scan tomorrow.

Blueroses99 · 19/11/2016 12:05

I have a 3BC blastocyst on board and I'm thrilled! Two potential candidates for freezing if they develop further overnight - we'll find out tomorrow. DH was incredibly nervous though, more than me! There was a hairy moment though when we first arrived and the embryologist took us into a meeting room rather than the surgical area, and seriously kept us in suspense while she went through our notes...we were fully expecting to be told that there were no embryos to transfer. After then being told that there was a leading blastocyst, we nearly did a happy dance in the office.

Blueroses99 · 19/11/2016 12:06

Erica how are you getting on? xx

RoseBud2016 · 19/11/2016 13:05

Congratulations on being PUPO Blue Fantastic news! Keeping my fingers crossed for a few Frosties for you too.

Erica the best of luck with EC tomorrow. How are you feeling?

Rebecca congratulations lovely!

Place I'm so sorry for what your old clinic has put you through. A very tough decision to make, but it certainly sounds like the right one in the circumstances.

AFM- just lurking in the background keeping an eye on you all. Much love all x

EricaJ · 19/11/2016 15:01

Hi Sarah Do you mean something like Gonal-F? I started on CD2 but they wanted to scan me I started...my last period was also a bit is-it-is-it-not so they wanted to make sure my dates seemed right -has the clinic been able to help?

Place that is fucking ridiculous. Steroids! So many women have them prescribed and so many doctors they can prevent rmc. Jesus.

Rebecca Congrats, hag! Grin Flowers

BlueRoses Amazing news! That is what we like to hear!! \

RoseBud Thank you! I am feeling fine... a bit like I am carrying a sack of potatoes in my belly but ok. During my check up yesterday they saw 12 dominant follicles and that is good. What is not so good is that estradiol/estrogen levels are borderline high, so they may want to delay the transfer 1-2 cycles to make sure my body is in "optimal condition" (ahem) for implantation. To be honest, if we get anything to transfer (let alone to freeze) after the PGD, I will be so chuffed I will be happy to wait until before or after Christmas and give it our best chance but oh the suspense....!!