BESH - relocated to less offensive surroundings

[cooperG]

Hi hags, here's our new thread. Did we decide to post the BESH-tionnaire or not? I'll have to go and dig it out if so..

Newbies - we think we're much like the ladies in the 'mind-numbing boredom of infertility' thread ladies, but we can't admit defeat, oh no. After the new recruits kind of dried up over in conception, we've moved over here where there are no insta-differs to send us into fits of rage/tears.

(BESH stands for Bitter Evil Selfish Hags - named so by the Daily Mail I think...) come and be bitter about the shit-ness that is infertility with us...

Hi all. Sorry I've had to keep a low profile the last few days. The official bfn hit me a lot harder than I expected. Had one of those crying jags that ends up hyperventilating. Was good to get it out though. Thanks so much for all the recommendations. It's been really good to hear. Reprofit does sound great esp if they are very good with mfi. That's really what we're looking for. Another question, do they do any immune treatments such as intralipids? That's something I haven't tried yet but want to. Erica, does your clinic do immunes? Do you know what they're like with mfi?

Congratulations on all the good news that's happening. It is good to see good things happening for people that truly deserve it.

Thinking of everyone that is having a hard time. I hope we can all just get on with our cycles and end up in the camp with the happy news. It's definitely got to be our turn very soon hags!!

Blueroses I'm not surprised you are feeling overwhelmed. It is so much to think about and digest. One step at a time and one day at a time; it's all you can do. x

Erica Hello! Thanks lovely. Any sign of AF yet for you? I think I would feel the same worry about PGS testing- completely natural but highly unlikely to be the case I would imagine.

Place I'm really sorry to hear your news.
Reprofit do offer full immunes too if you want/need it. This is the first time I've tried immunes. I don;t have any known immunes issues but wanted to rule it out as a potential problem. I'm on Pred, Clexane, PIO, aspirin, plus the standard estrogen tablets and progesterone pessaries. I have also had two lots of intrapilids (Reprofit give you a letter that you take to a clinic in London called IHF Clinic near Harley Street and they do the intrapilids infusion for you 10 days before ET for £140) I had the second infusion at Reprofit (for 100 Euros) and I'm going for the third one next week back at the London clinic.
The London Clinic isn't attached to Reprofit in anyway so if you want to find a different clinic to do the infusion in another part of the country then that's a possibility too.

Scanxiety was running high this morning but all was ok, my lining was thin (4mm as opposed to 9.8mm last Thursday) so I can start stimming...straightaway! They want me to jab in the morning so I thought they'd start me tomorrow or the day after but they want me to start today, as soon as possible, and come in for a blood test on Saturday. That means I had to pop into the office for a team meeting and arrange with my manager to work from home for the afternoon. Otherwise it'd be quite late by the time I get home from work. Tentatively booked a scan for next Wednesday but I'm basically on standby to go in whenever they want me all of next week... Progress at least!

Erica hope you pass the gynae MOT, I'll be rooting for you.

Place I cried for days after my BFN so I know the feeling, the drugs in the system just make everything so much worse on top of everything else. Look after yourself

Hi to everyone else

Ugh! Someone that was pregnant for the first time at the same time I was pregnant for the first time (if you see what I mean), has just announced her THIRD pregnancy on FB! A bunch of people around have had two kids since we started TTC but is it going to be time for thirds now?

Jesus.

Will write properly later. I think I need a glass of wine to digest this. The droid has not shown up yet, CD24 so I reckon one last glass (ahem) a week before I start stabbing is probably ok, right??

Yep, there was a group of girls all ttc for the first time at the same time. I'm now the only one not knocked up or with kid/s. I saw a post on Facebook recently from one of them announcing that they are about to try for #3... so depressing. Get drinking.

Thanks for info rose! Sounding better and better.

Blue, Good luck with the start of stimming. It's all go now for you!

They announced on FB they were about to "start trying"?

Though, a friend's fiancée posted a pic of the BFP after the 12 week scan. Go fucking figure.

Also that someone would announce on FB that they're about to "start trying". Isn't this just an alert that they're going to be having lots of sex - TMI for most FB friends surely?!

Lol, sorry, it's a private group that was set up after a bunch of girls met on one of these forums. That would be very weird though. Although, my cousin did announce that he and his fiancé were going to start trying for a baby at my grandmother's funeral. That was pretty weird, and depressing. Her coffin was in the same place both my mum and my dad's coffins had been and I was also miscarrying at the time, literally sitting there with a pad, bleeding thinking of all of my dead family. So I really didn't need the cousin saying that! They have a baby boy now and I'm constantly bombarded with baby photos and video clips Sorry, I don't know where all that came from. Just been facing a lot of loss. This bfn has brought it all up to the surface.

Oh and now a new baby has born announcement. What an evening.

I am so sorry Place. That sounds like a horrible situation :(

Erica, sounds like you won the trifecta! Bloody hell.

Hi all can I join you? I'm TTC for my first and can't make sense of what's going on.
Long cycles, low LH, FSH and Estrodial.
Clomid did nothing at all, currently awaiting further instructions. They think I have Hypothalamic Amennorea but it seems mostly common for anorexics and I've never been remotely underweight.
Anyone been in the same boat?
Good luck to everyone else, I've been lurking a long time and rooting for you all.

Erica and Place- FB is the work of the devil !!! I used to have about 200 'friends' on there. Slowly but surely people have pissed me off with their smug scan photos, motherhood challenges and not-very-stealth boasting, and I'm now down to 50 friends...... Much more civilised and none of the bull shit. A recommend a good ole cull!

to you both xx

Sarah Welcome! I don't know anything about Hypothalamic Amennorea I'm afraid but after a quick google I can understand why you are confused. Do you have a follow up appointment to discuss next steps? Are you with the NHS or private?

Hi all, just checking in to say hi. Place and Erica sorry for all the baby announcements, that sucks. I think that FB is also the work of the devil and am just always completely flabbergasted by how many people post scan pics. Having been through infertility for so long I can't even imagine anything worse than posting a scan pic...

We did have our scan yesterday, everything seems OK. Can't seem to tell anyone about it at work etc. for fear of jinxing it tho...

For all on BESH who are going through cycles, sending all my best wishes. Will keep on lurking!

Aww Jen That's great news! I know you were really worried, so glad it's all fine and off your mind (yeah right- onto the next worry!) x

Thanks Rose and amazing news Jen

I'm NHS. Next step is injections every day and hoping this is what finally wakes up my dormant ovaries! Would be good to hear if others were found to be completely resistant to Clomid and what options remain.

Sarah- I have dormant ovaries too; from severe PCOS. I tried clomid 50, 100, and 150 but it all failed and I was told I was clomid resistant.

My next step was Femara; a drug that has a similar function to clomid but different ingredients...... turns out I'm resistant to that too

After that I could have tried IUI but I was advised by my NHS consultant that my eligibility for NHS treatment had come to an end (DH has children from a previous relationship) and with DH having some pretty significant male factor issues we decided IUI would be a waste of money so moved straight to IVF privately, on our NHS consultants recommendation.

I imagine that the injections you'll be taking will be a low dose of a stimulation drug used in IVF- it is sure to wake those ovaries up! Do you know if you're doing it with timed intercourse or IUI? Any idea when you will be starting it?

Thanks Rose and sorry to hear you've had the same struggle! We will do timed intercourse at least at first (no male issues just me!). Appreciate your confidence that something will finally wake my ovaries up - my biggest fear is if the injections do nothing, we are out of options using my eggs. Did they have any theories why your ovaries are resistant? I've been trying to learn more about it and working on stress but I have a full on intense job (which I love) so it's hard to transform my stress levels within my current life.

Sarah The good thing about stimulation drugs is if it doesn't work on a low dose, they just up the dose gradually and keep doing that until you do respond. Then if you over respond and have too many eggs that are going to be released, some clinics will convert it into an IVF cycle instead (so as not to waste the eggs)
No proper explanation for my resistance. Apparently it's quite a common problem for women with PCOS!
I honestly don't think a stressful job would stop clomid or any other stimulation drug from working. I'm in a very intense role myself, and have actually found work helps (a bit!) to take my mind off things and stop obsessing.

Sarah no knowledge at all of what you've described but in terms of support, you're in the right place, welcome. I don't think you should worry about stress contributing, particularly if you love your job, stress doesn't cause infertility but infertility does cause stress.

Jen glad you are doing well.

Erica how did you get on today?

Place it's tough after a BFN but I hope you're having in there.

AFM I've booked tomorrow off for a spot of R&R, as I'm trying to control the stress and anxiety. I have a blood test on Saturday to see if I'm responding to the stims and on standby for scans next week.

Hi Sarah. Welcome to the BESH! I'm not familiar with your particular situation but this is the place to get it off your chest.

Blue how did your scan go? Hope things are on track.

Erica, any sign of the droid?

No news for me. Just trying to do nice things with mr place and not talk IVF etc. He's enjoying being able to have a few beers and we're not swallowing handfuls of vitamins everyday so it's quite a nice break. At the same time, I hope the break isn't too long!

Place enjoy the break and relax, it'll be good for whenever you decide to go to the next stage.

I had my blood test today, day 5 of stims. The consultant seems to be happy and is keeping me on the same doses and booked me in for a scan on Wednesday. EC possibly Saturday or the following Monday, depending on how it goes over the next few days.

I also went to the Fertility Show today. I feel so much better prepared than this time last year! Got some useful info but didn't feel overwhelmed.

Thanks Place. Went to visit a close friend tonight and of course, they've just said they're expecting. Delighted for her but did have to have a private weep in the loo before putting on my game face again. Shocked to discover I really am that woman.

Jen Great news! Whoop!!

Hi Sarah, welcome. Sorry you found yourself here but hopefully you will get support and place to vent and swear and will not have to put a happy face on. What is this? Baby announcement week??

BlueRoses Good news about the blood tests, I will be thinking of you on Wednesday

Place I agree with Blue about enjoying the break. It is hard, and as you say, hopefully it will not last long but it is good to reset a bit emotionally. After the mc in the summer, I was desperate to start IVF straight away and resented having to wait but now I am so glad we had to...

So I had my scan on Thursday and it all looked fine. And I got my period yesterday, which was normal-heavy so not worried about adhesions/Ashemans anymore. So hags, the stabbing starts today!!

I am on Clexane and aspirin too. Hoping that this and the PGD will finally take us somewhere....

Yay Erica, happy stabbing xx

Yay cycle buddy Erica! Are you straight into stims? xx