BESH - relocated to less offensive surroundings

[cooperG]

Hi hags, here's our new thread. Did we decide to post the BESH-tionnaire or not? I'll have to go and dig it out if so..

Newbies - we think we're much like the ladies in the 'mind-numbing boredom of infertility' thread ladies, but we can't admit defeat, oh no. After the new recruits kind of dried up over in conception, we've moved over here where there are no insta-differs to send us into fits of rage/tears.

(BESH stands for Bitter Evil Selfish Hags - named so by the Daily Mail I think...) come and be bitter about the shit-ness that is infertility with us...

Straight into stimms... Just done my first injection of Gonal.

I am also injecting Clexane so my poor belly is going to be black and blue within a few days!

What are people's view on exercise during IVF? Not talking of Iron Man but normal gym going, spinning etc?

Thanks for your kindness everyone, hard to talk to people IRL when they're all pregnant! Going back to hospital this week to learn next steps and how the injections will work. I travel as part of my job so I'm hoping the dates all line up for the next cycle (hard to predict when they're super long).

Good luck Erica and good luck everyone this week, whether you're stimming, waiting to test or taking a break from all of the intensity.

Erica I'm with you there, I have 3 jabs a day and I must be doing something wrong as my belly is all bruised!

I don't think intense exercise like spinning is advised (I've never done it but it looks intense!), normal gym may be ok but you might not feel like doing it after a few days of drugs. I haven't done much exercise before this cycle, but on my last cycle I had to stop gymming while down regulating as I just constantly felt I was overdoing it. Just listen to your body and stop when you need to.

Sarah good luck

Thanks Sarah!

Blue Yup! Have my first estradiol test and ultrasound on Friday. Only Monday and already wondering what happens if they say it is not working at all? Not sure why I am thinking this, I mean, I have reacted well to Femara in the past but I guess I want to be "prepared" for a not-smooth-at-all road.

Re: exercise. Yeah, looks like taking it easy is the way to go. I am not super into fitness or anything but exercise (specially sweaty, angry cardio) has been a great tool to manage my anxiety in the last few years so the idea of going through this without is a bit scary. Oh well.

How is everyone else doing?

Hi lovely ladies. So much news to catch up on but most of its positive, which is lovely to read. AFM, well I'm struggling at min to be honest. It's not a good time of year for me. I suffer from SAD and I've lost 2 babies in November/ December in previous years. We went to see the fertility consultant and she said just keep doing what we're doing, it's only been 5 months since last miscarriage. I then mentioned IVF. She said oh I can refer you now, no need to wait because of your age and then the bombshell - I've put on 1 stone through taking the steriods and generally feeling low. So no IVF referral until I've lost the weight. I know it isn't a lot to some people but it just feels like another big smack in the mouth. The next day we went in our holiday which was all inclusive. I just couldn't enjoy myself because I was so conscious of putting on weight I hate all the pressure being on me. Sorry for the moan

k8 totally understandable why this time of year sucks for you, I'm so sorry. I was in a similar boat re the weight loss, my BMI was at the uppermost limit and knowing the drugs might make me put on weight/bloat, I had to lose weight or risk being kicked off having NHS funding at a later point on the cycle. It does add so much pressure. I lived off soup (healthy, nutrious 🍵) for 7 weeks to lose a few kg and it got me back into the gym. It's very annoying to have a setback, I know, but when you're ready, you can do it xx

Hi k8. I'm really sorry for your set back. It doesn't matter what it is or how long it takes it is always upsetting. I had issues with the bmi thing as well. Except I was all of 3 kilo underweight. 3 kilo ffs! And because of 3 measly kilo we had to wait another 3 months before she would review us. I cried. There was so many delays I can't even begin to list them. Suffice to say it was 2 years worth of delays one after the other. I was so pissed off/upset/depressed.

Blue, I can't believe they made you lose weight just in case you put some on!? How can they predict that!? I haven't put on any through my treatment and I've been taking steroids. The nerve of some of these people! Grrrr.

Good to see things moving along Erica!

Sorry what I wrote was a bit muddled... they didn't tell me I would put weight on with the drugs. They said that they would monitor my weight and implied they'd kick me off if my BMI crept up so they made me feel like I needed to lose a bit of extra weight as a bit of a buffer as I didn't want to be quite so borderline - the thought of being made to stop was too stressful.

Oh I see. Well for what it's worth, I haven't been reweighed since I started treatment. I think you'll find that your clinic will have a different bmi criteria for private patients, so they may not care. NHS guidelines for funding is very strict. But yes, the thought of being told your treatment is being cancelled is terrifying! Well done you.

I wasn't reweighed by the NHS, which was so frustrating but at least I knew they wouldn't be able to cancel my cycle if they did as I was within range. My BMI is a touch higher now than it was then (haven't lost my pregnancy weight) but my consultant (private) thinks it is fine.

So I had my scan today and there are follicles! I think there are 6 on one side and 7 on the other. As I'm looking for quality rather than quantity this time, that's sounds good to me. Some are large (17mm) but there are a lot of smaller ones that need to catch up, so they are going to increase my dose. I'm was waiting for them to call to advise my new dose of Gonal F but they haven't got in touch yet so I'll contact them first thing. I finished all the Menopur I had yesterday and was told I would be dispensed more after today's scan, and then I could take today's dose. I should have taken it at the clinic when the nurse dispensed it but I forgot. So I came to work and had to shoot up in the disabled toilet 😳💉 So dodgy! Next scan on Friday.

How is everyone else doing?

Hey hags,

Mmmh.. what horrendous news to wake up to... but anyway, moving on...

I am pretty shocked at how "strict" they are being about weight. One stone is really not that much (I gained more than that just by going to study abroad while at uni!) and when you consider that many of us take steroids, are discouraged from exercising and told to take it easy, feel generally low etc. I don't know, it seems harsh. I understand they want to give us the best chance of succeeding but no wonder you feel down k8liz77

Place I have lost a fair amount of weight the last few years due to stress and anxiety and generally feeling crap, I would not say I am underweight but if they cancelled my treatment because of my weight loss, I would feel even more punished for my infertility and miscarriages.

BlueRoses Great news about the follicles! It is all go for you now! I have stabbed for the fourth time today. I get really paranoid I might be doing it wrong? Even can you do it wrong if you put the right amount in the syringe and it all goes in the belly? Mmmh... feeling a bit anxious about my appointment on Friday. Does anyone know what I should expect?

Erica I always feel that I must be doing something wrong too. My belly is literally black and blue! But it seems to be working. The estrodiol test is a blood test to check oestrogen levels, they will check they are within range for your point in the cycle and probably call you if there is to be a change in dose. The ultrasound will count the number and check the size of follicles! Excited for you xx

Sending love to those injecting (sounds tough) and concerned about weight issues holding things up (just as tough).

Wise ladies I need advice and sorry for the TMI.

On Tues I got a positive OPK - the first positive I've ever had in my life! Bear in mind this is day 33 of a cycle deemed a failure as Clomid did absolutely nothing to my ovaries and I was diagnosed with Hypothalamic Amennorea.

So: DTD on Sunday and Tuesday after the OPK that morning but didn't manage to yesterday. This morning the OPK line is faint so think it's probably passed but will DTD again tonight. Do you think we might be in a good place? I've never had a positive OPK so worrying I've mucked up my timings.

Also aware of an impending emotional crash - I'm already getting my hopes up that this could be our month as its exciting to actually ovulate naturally after the treatment failed. Guessing the OPK could be a false positive too, so shouldn't hope too much?

Thanks BlueRoses - that helps! I guess I will feel better if they "confirm" something is happening (my fear is always that they will say "there is nothing inside your uterus" or "there is a huge tumour in you uterus" and more recently "this is not working AT ALL").

Sarah I don't know anything about Hypothalamic Amennorea, but a positive OPK sounds like a good sign? I think the DTD timing is absolutely fine so I would not worry about that. And completely normal to be excited! The way I see it is: you are going to feel what you are going to feel. For me, trying to feel positive when I feel crap does not work, I just feel guilty. Trying to not be too positive does not work, I just feel equally gutted when things don't work out (and stupid for having been positive). Allow yourself to be pleased with this and whatever happens, you will be able to deal with it and we will be here!

Erica Great that you on the road to PGD! My tummy is black and blue from the Clexane so know that feeling well. It is so stingy! Good luck for your scan tomorrow x

Oh K8liz I'm so sorry you're struggling and have had a setback.

Blueroses Your follies sound good to me! Good luck for your scan tomorrow too.

AFM I had my viability scan today. All is well and we have a heartbeat. So so relieved but still a long way to go.

Rose That is great news!!! So chuffed for you!

That's great news Rose 💕

Good luck today Erica.

Sarah I've never used OPKs but from the little I know about them, your approach sounds fine to me.

Morning hags,

I need some IVF help.

So I had the first check up and everything looks ok (I would have preferred a "you are doing exceptionally well!" but there you go).

I have received the updated budget and they have added:

IMSI (rather than ICSI)
Embryoscope

It adds around 1000 euro to the final bill.

My FC is away and back next week so I will definitely discuss with him but wanted to know what you think about these? Worth it or a waste of time and money?

Thanks!

I get Embryoscope included in the standard package and pay extra for IMSI. Both are worth it in my view.

Embryoscope means the embryos do not need to be moved to see how they are doing and can give extra info e.g. if an embryo splits from 1 cell to 3, it is unlikely to be viable even if it looks normal later on.

IMSI is magnified ICSI and more successful in the case of male factor infertility as abnormal sperm are more obvious and can therefore be avoided.

Just waiting for my appointment at the clinic now but I can chat more later.

'Ok' is about as good as you're going to get now! Sounds great!

Follicles are looking good so I will have egg collection on Monday! They are going to call me later with a time for EC and my trigger shot tomorrow.

BlueRoses Such exciting news!! Crossing everything for you.

And thanks for all the info and encouragement- my husband is away and joins me next week, just before the egg collection so I feel there are some decisions I have to take sort of my own and I feel a bit lost sometimes, your support means a lot.

Did they separate the costs of the two things Erica? We had imsi (or PICSI as ours was called) but as you know we were male factor. I thought Mr E,s sperm was mostly ok? Also ours only added £100 to the process.

Thanks Blue (how are you, hag?)

ICSI is included on the initial quote, if we want IMSI that is an extra 450 euro. His sperm was mostly ok but the latest sample came with way higher than normal abnormal sperm (does that make sense?) so I don't know. It is this rmc that is scaring me so much, the possibility that maybe because of my sperm or my eggs or the mixture we are not able to make healthy embryos?And adding "stuff" to it may help us "identify" a healthy one?

So I wonder if it is our last mc that has made suggest extra stuff (since they were not on the original plan, pre mc5) or since they are a private clinic after all, they are just "selling up"?

Hi Blue, hope you're doing well!

My clinic charges £400 for Embryoscope, £100 for PICSI but £450 for IMSI I thought they were the same thing or at least very similar.

I had exactly the same thoughts when I was offered an endometrial scratch, do I really need it or are they trying to get more money out of me?! But at the end of the day, I did it because the procedure has good success rates and it's a small price to pay if it makes the difference between it working now or having to go through the whole thing again.

If there is a potential issue with abnormal sperm, then perhaps it's worth doing?

I remember there was something about the last sample but couldn't remember what. I would pay for it then, I honestly think it made a difference for us (of the 3 eggs, 2 fertilised and made it to blast - I think having the 'best sperm' made a difference)

I'm ok, all fine here, still quietly lurking in the BESH