Any success stories and ideas for secondary infertility?

[Annabellaboo]

Hello ladies.
I am hoping to get some ideas and support on here.
I am 35 years old, very healthy with a 3 year DS. We have been trying to conceive our second child for 2 years now. I became pregnant very easily with my first and had an easy pregnancy.
This time nothing.
I have had all the tests the nhs provides. Progesterone normal, I ovulate, DH sperm count is normal, no blockages etc etc. I have tried charting, ov sticks, changed my already pretty healthy diet (cut out refined sugars and have lots more greens etc, and alkalised my body). I take advised supplements and have even tried acupuncture.
I do however have short cycles, sometimes as short as 21 days but averaging 24. This is a little shorter than I had before my DS.
We cannot afford IVF and I am not sure I can face that anyway.
My consultant last month has prescribed me a half dose (25mg) of clomid, which a scan showed on the first round it definitely boosted things even more with a good few mature follicles. I already ovulate but she thought as my cycles are quite short and a little irregular it may give me a boost.
I have been convinced several times I was pregnant (oh how cruel our bodies and brains can be!) but AF always turns up.
I guess what I am asking is does anyone have any other suggestions of things I could try or why I can't conceive time. I am open to theories and alternative methods.
Any experience in this subject and success stories please share.
I try not to stress about it all, but some months it just really gets you down as there is no real 'reason'. The hard thing is watching other mums around get pregnant multiple times so easily.
Thank you for listening!
Anna

Wow! Really difficult to make out from the pic,can you go out and buy another test? When I got pregnant with my dd it took a few mins for the line to show up so I wasn't sure, then did another test and it was a definite positive. so so so hoping for you but also don't want to get your hopes up in case!

Regardless I am getting quite excited for you , I can make out the line more now I've had a second look!!

Thanks for replying :) going quietly insane over here. After extensive googling I think it could go either way. I'm annoyed I took it out the casing as think I may have interrupted it. DH has been out and bought a couple more but I'm going to wait until tomorrow now as if it was that faint with my first wee of the day it would only be fainter and that would probably mean not there!

Yep well done very good idea. Bless you , you must be a bag of nerves. Feel free to vent to us today if you need to! I'm currently sitting in hospital waiting room waiting to see doc. Bit embarrassing cos there's lots of couples here and we are the only ones with a child in tow.(Couldn't get childcare)

I'm fairly resigned that it is going to turn out to be nothing but it's frustrating as it's just prolonging the agony of waiting for AF as I can't stop taking the progesterone if there's a chance need to find something to do to take my mind off this.

I've had to take ds with me to appointments before, I feel bad sitting in the waiting room with the other ladies but both my parents work and I don't really have anyone else to look after him.

closephine85, thinking of you today, not knowing is so difficult. I've been in a similar situation. Hoping that your next is a very clear positive.

Hi closephine. I did reply earlier but didn't seem to go through. As an experience Evap line veteran I would say try not to get too excited. I must admit I had a line exactly like this one once in a frost response. However it didn't come up until at least 2 hours later so you never know.
Really really hoping for you.

I hope that didn't come across as negative and unhelpful, I just know how hard the fall can be from a line like this. wishing hard for you x

Not at all Anna, I'm feeling pretty negative about it myself after googling etc. it was the pink edges this morning that made me think maybe but only time will tell and I definitely don't have my hopes up. Spent most of this morning feeling pretty down about the whole thing :(

Thanks too Jenny for your thoughts

And apologies to all you other ladies as I have totally made this thread all about me today :( sorry X

closephine - fingers crossed for you. I've been in that limbo too before and it's awful waiting for the next morning to see. Fingers crossed for you there's a lovely line there tomorrow. Hope you're okay this evening

Don't apologise closephine- that's what we are here for remember.
I had an appointment with my fertility consultant today. I managed to successfully plead my case for a laparoscopy so I suppose that is a positive thing. There is about a 18 week waiting list though so I will have to be a bit patient. She pretty much has told me that IVF seems to be our best option at this point but I am not ready for that yet, and now I have gotten a little more information I really don't think we can afford even 1 round and even with help from my parents. It's the extra fees that add up to make it way more than they initially make out. Anyway, for now I will be carrying on with alternative therapies (seeing a homeopath this thurs-my latest desperate quest!) and generally taking good care of myself and hoping that somehow, someday soon it will pay off.
Will be crossing fingers and toes for you closephine, please update in the morn.

Totally negative :( clearly just a defunct test yesterday. Might have to write a strongly worded complaint to first response about toying with the emotions of the vulnerable! Sorry to get your hopes up for a success story ladies :(

Good news on the laparoscopy Anna, they might move faster than they say. I'm definitely glad I had mine done just for peace of mind.

I agree, the price of Ivf is extortionate :( and I'm still going round in circles. One minute definitely yes, the next I freak out and think we may as well walk into a casino and put all our money on black on the roulette table! Feels like the same gamble! But being stuck in this limbo is just such hell.

Oh I'm so sorry Closephine. I agree that's really rubbish the first response did that after such a short amount of time. I think I would have totally thought I was pregnant as didn't really know that could happen. At work right now so can't write lengthy message but will catch up tomorrow. Sorry again closephine, xxx

I'm sorry Closephine. I've been there, its so hard.
Please do something really nice for yourself today.

I'm having the same struggles with IVF. My husband whole-heartedly wants to do it. I'm scared of how I'll react to all of the drugs and the increased pressure. I'm worried about pushing my body to do something it may not be ready to do. My insurance (I'm in the US) has a fertility treatment max of $15k, and will cover 80% of treatments. So if we do IVF, it will only cover the first round and we'll have a copay of about $3k which we can afford but is still a considerable amount of savings for us. I was given odds of 50% in my situation that the first round would be successful by one specialist. We have an appointment with another specialist today at a hospital (the first was at an IVF clinic). I'm so nervous, it still feels like a crap shoot.

So sorry closephine I know how much that sucks. I had that exact same line twice with a first response test after a couple hours. I have learnt now to never trust a line out of the time limit.
I am a few days away from AF. Trying to keep the crazy away but we will see. I am feeling happy and positive today so Making the most of that feeling!

Thanks ladies, the test from yesterday did similar in a similar time frame but not quite as clear. If Internet cheap tests can manage no line whatsoever, expensive first response ones should do the same. I'm still ragin at them (and possibly trying to find something else to focus anger on). I'm ok though, we have decided to see if it's worth exploring DHs low count a bit further and have been in contact with a urologist in London so will wait to hear from him. I feel better if I'm doing something.

Jenny - I share all of yours fears about Ivf. Many people have said to me that making the initial jump is the hardest part, I still haven't managed it. Forgive me if you have said already, but have you had any kind of diagnosis or are you just unexplained? Also, have you had a laparoscopy? I was told to have that first as until that's been done, they cannot be 100% there's nothing going on that hasn't been picked up on an ultrasound or by other tests. Sorry if I am asking you to repeat yourself.

OMG that''s so frustrating. I'm really surprised. I usually use quite cheap sticks and have never had an evap line, so really wasn't aware that could happen. Rubbish rubbish rubbish. Well that's saved me from getting totally wrongly excited if it happens to me in the future!

I think that's great you're having a laporoscopy, Anna, well done for pushing it. I also had my appointment with the consultant on Tuesday and he didn't think I needed a laporoscopy, as I had very normal periods. All our tests have been normal and he's calling it unexplained. He said we should really wait another year till we consider IVF. Not sure I can take another year of this, but I can only hope it doesn't get to that. He's booked to see me in 6 months and I may ask for a laporoscopy then if we've still not anywhere espeically with the long waiting time.

How did your appointment go yesterday Jenny? I'm sorry it's been so difficult with your family. I think I can relate to that a fair bit. My SIL who is 6 months pregnant is not the most tactful person and I struggle with her attitude sometimes. She used to tell me all about her friend who was going through an early menopause and how it was annoying for her (my SIL not her friend) cos she couldn't talk about her own pregancy. She's got better since she's found out we're trying, thank goodness. Have you thought about being quite frank with your family or is that just not how they do things?

Waiting for my AF this weekend, rubbish rubbish rubbish, starting to feel the jitters. We're meant to be going to a wedding as well, so it'll be another attempt to act like everything's hunky dory!

Oh could I just ask, do you all count the first day of AF when you see a good amount of blood?
This is what my consultant said I should do, I've always been counting the first day I see any sign of it, but usually there's just a tiny smear for 3 days.

Rose- yes we're supposed to count the first day of proper flow, not the spotting. I have often spotted so I know that's confusing. It's cruel isn't it cause you know it's on it's way but still you have that tiny bit of false hope! seems we are on about the same day of our cycles again rose. I have prob a couple days until AF is due, just trying to keep the crazy away this month, so far I am doing quite well but that could change at any moment!
Closephine- sorry you had another outcome like that from the first response. Funnily enough the 2 I had were also straight after each other and with a first response. Everyone says that is the best test, but now know this Evap line Has happened to both of us I will never but it again. The company would argue that as it was read out of the time frame it is invalid etc etc but it's still a bad cruel thing to occur. Have you stopped the progesterone yet or still waiting to be double sure? Sorry you are going through this, especially with your extra efforts this month!

I'm never buying first response again after this. I think it's terrible. I will stick to the ones I get off the Internet as I do know they work as have picked up the Hcg after I've had trigger shots for IUI. This is also going to sound ridiculous but I have a clear blue digital test I have been 'saving' for a time (I hope!!) that I genuinely believe I'm pregnant. It was one of those I used when I found out I was expecting ds and I remember the feeling of seeing 'pregnant 2-4 weeks' SO clearly. Checked the use by date yesterday - I have until January 2017 to use it. I really want a need to use it before then!

Yes Rose, count it from the first day of 'full flow' I always used to count from the spotting but hospital corrected me. I always start spotting 14dpo but sometimes I can last up to 5 days. This confuses me because I often wonder if that makes my luteal phase 19 days?! And if so is it possible to have one that's too long? I can only ever find anything about it being a problem if it's too short.

Yes, stopped the progesterone yesterday morning and started spotting today sadly. Expected though. It may have synced me with your cycles for next month (unless you are both pregnant) as I don't ovulate until about day 16/17. Long cycles are such a paint when ttc. I always loved having a long cycle when I was younger as it meant less periods, but now it just drags everything out.

Hi ladies,
How are you doing with your sanity? Feeling a bit grumpy and miserable myself, guessing its PMT, but also anticipating the comedown when AF hits.

That's funny our cycles seem to have aligned. I went out for dinner with a few nct friends last night. One is about 6 months pregnant with her second. The rest have seconds already. I always make a conscious effort to enquire about people's pregnancies, how they're feeling and let them talk etc. But after a good half hour of it, she just kept going on about baby's names and rubbing her belly and if all got a bit much. She does know my situation but I honestly don't know why some people are quite insensitive. Or maybe it is just me being premenstrual!

Just feeling rather pissed off with the world in general today. Poor DH has had his head bitten off a few times already.

Closephine hope you have recovered somewhat from your horrible false positive.

Thanks for the answer re first day of AF. Can't believe I've been counting it all wrong, not that it'd probably have made any difference!

Oh no Rose, sorry it's your turn to be miserable. It's utterly rubbish that any of us are having to go through this. I'm sure we're all guilty of taking it out on DH a bit.

So sorry your friend was insensitive. I don't understand why some people find it hard to be sympathetic. Some people totally get it, some people just don't seem to comprehend it at all. Well done for asking about her pregnancy. I feel awful, but at the moment I just can't deal with my friends pregnancy (think I mentioned a friend having her fourth). I can't physically make myself ask any questions and she doesn't mention it. It's like this massive elephant in the room.

I'm doing ok at the moment. It's almost a relief when AF arrives as all the questions and what ifs evaporate instantly! We have booked for DH to go and see a specialist in London. This will likely delay Ivf but it felt like we would be putting a plaster over the real problem (a very expensive plaster) so we are going to explore whether we can do anything to raise his count first.

Oh cool, when is your appointment in London? I'm guessing that's with an andrologist or urologist? I'm glad you're feeling a bit better about things.
I'm not always good at asking about people pregnancies. When one of my best friends fell pregnant almost a year ago I couldn't raise the subject either, there was like a physical block. I think since then I probably overcompensate so people won't tell what I'm really feeling underneath! I just don't get how people can be so dumb sometimes, I've just decided that this particular girl is a bit stupid! It feels good to be bitchy sometimes !

Anna how are you doing with the waiting game? I can feel my hopes going up and desperately trying to think negatively!!