Any success stories and ideas for secondary infertility?

[Annabellaboo]

Hello ladies.
I am hoping to get some ideas and support on here.
I am 35 years old, very healthy with a 3 year DS. We have been trying to conceive our second child for 2 years now. I became pregnant very easily with my first and had an easy pregnancy.
This time nothing.
I have had all the tests the nhs provides. Progesterone normal, I ovulate, DH sperm count is normal, no blockages etc etc. I have tried charting, ov sticks, changed my already pretty healthy diet (cut out refined sugars and have lots more greens etc, and alkalised my body). I take advised supplements and have even tried acupuncture.
I do however have short cycles, sometimes as short as 21 days but averaging 24. This is a little shorter than I had before my DS.
We cannot afford IVF and I am not sure I can face that anyway.
My consultant last month has prescribed me a half dose (25mg) of clomid, which a scan showed on the first round it definitely boosted things even more with a good few mature follicles. I already ovulate but she thought as my cycles are quite short and a little irregular it may give me a boost.
I have been convinced several times I was pregnant (oh how cruel our bodies and brains can be!) but AF always turns up.
I guess what I am asking is does anyone have any other suggestions of things I could try or why I can't conceive time. I am open to theories and alternative methods.
Any experience in this subject and success stories please share.
I try not to stress about it all, but some months it just really gets you down as there is no real 'reason'. The hard thing is watching other mums around get pregnant multiple times so easily.
Thank you for listening!
Anna

[mrskittenpie]

annabel - that is fantastic news, I too have given up so to hear that it can happen is amazing. Have you told dh?

close yes I've been reading that, it certainly does, very depressing.

Ladies we need another thread starting - I can if you want but not sure how to link it to this one?

[closephine85]

P.s. Has anyone seen the waiting rooms thread? It's makes for quite depressing reading.

[closephine85]

Anna this is amazing news - massive congratulations! Were you suspecting? Is that why you did a test at 11dpo? I would take the cramps as a positive sign!

[Annabellaboo]

Thanks ladies. Of course I couldn't resist running out to the nearest shop and getting another test. Got a clearblue and it very definitely has a bfp!!! Still in shock. Please stick little bean. Another success (I hope) on here telling us all that it is possible. I genuinly never thought I would see a second line on a test again. I have been trying for 3 years and stopped really believing it's possible.
I have some mild cramps and am trying not to freak out thinking it's a bad thing. Hope my body can carry this little bean all the way....

[Hhno2]

If it's natural then it sounds good no meds to have any effect! Good luck hope it's a sticky bean!!!!!:) xxx

[mrskittenpie]

annabel congratulations- I really hope this is it for you, I can't imagine how you're feeling, must be incredible x

[Annabellaboo]

Natural cycle. I think I am 11dpo ish.
Still in shock and not totally convinced. Will get more tests later and update again.

[Hhno2]

Anabellaboo amazing news!
How many days after transfer is that? Or is this a natural cycle? Xx

[AurorasEncore]

i have everything crossed (extremely tightly) for you Anna!!!!!

[Annabellaboo]

Omg Omg Omg. Ladies I am freaking out here sobbing as I just spontaneously did a test and there are 2 lines!!!!!!!! Don't even quite believe it. Haven't called dh yet, this is my first stop. Can I even trust it? It came up in about 30 secs and I am only 11 dpo. I should rush out and buy more tests but I have to work (don't know how I will get anything down now!)
I can't believe it. Please let this be it.....

[mrskittenpie]

annabel - you are so so right about the age gap. I've had to learn that ultimate patience too but it's so difficult. Yes all the time that passes makes you wonder how it would work if we were to have another but realistically now I'm tending to say to myself it isn't going to happen now. It kills me ds doesn't have anyone to play with at home. When he has friends over he's so happy and when he goes to friend's houses they all have siblings, every single bloody one of them so why not us? I go from anger to sadness on a daily basis about this.

And yes I know that look when it's "fertile" week - we're just gearing up for it again and in all honesty I cannot be bothered, what's the point.

[Annabellaboo]

Welcome Aurora. I know exactly what you mean about DH's look of dread during the fertile window! Sometimes I find it tragically funny. Sounds like your doctor is slow with investigations. It does all take a while but some people luck out more than others I think. It's such a shame the inconsistency that there seems to be across the NHS when it comes to this. One thing I do know is consistent is that if all the basic tests show normal they really have no clue or care as to what to suggest next. My advice is if finances permit maybe look at some private investigations. I resorted to this after nearly 3 years, wish I had done it sooner.
Kitten-don't even get me started on the friends who have been trying for a 'couple months'! I have a couple of those.
I hear you with the age gap. As each year passes I just can't imagine how it will work if we were to be blessed with a new born at this point. I have worked hard on letting go of the desired age gap. I had always wanted to have 2 very close together so they could grow up and play with each other. I have come a long way with accepting this (well I guess I have no choice!) but it still hits me now and then and I mourn what could have been. I just always have to remind myself that life has other plans for us and try to see it as a good thing. In some ways it really is. This secondary infertility journey has taught me so much. I have had to accept so much and learn ultimate patience. There are also benefits for DS. He has had us all to himself so far and we are a close family because of it. I appreciate what I have so much and try to cherish every moment i can. I am also deeply humbled by the whole experience.
It really still sucks though and I wish I didn't have to learn all these lessons this way.

[mrskittenpie]

Hi auroras welcome to this supportive thread. Sorry you find yourself in this situation too, it really is horrendous.

Your GP sounds as good as mine, they were absolutely clueless then have refused to help anymore. Yes the short luteal period thing is a worry - mine gets shorter every month with it being a whole 6 days last cycle . Great when af lasts 12 days too.

This board is so good though, for venting or anything, I think in real life - well certainly in my case - absolutely no one understands - you get the platitudes from friends who 'know how you feel' because it took them a couple of months! Really?

[AurorasEncore]

Hello ladies,

Room for one more? After falling pg with my wonderful surprise baby (the one and only time EVER we were not careful WTF?) We have been struggling TTC for 2 years.

Only just started investigations with my GP who are seriously clueless (measured wrong hormones on wrong days) but it looks like I'm ovulating, which I knew because I get mittlesmerz from one side or the other.

DH is having SA eventually - 2 months waiting list (did the at home kit from boots and numbers were over 15million). Only then will we get referred which will be another few months waiting so I have a strong feeling we will have to go private.

Like many of you on here my clockwork 28 day cycle is now 25-26 days, LP of 10.5 days (that .5 makes all the difference ) so I really think I don't have time to implant.

This month I have been taking chaste Berry everyday (have I been doing it wrong?) So wish I hadn't now after doing more research. Think I will take it until AF shows then sack it off.

Currently in fertile window. Love the way DH looks at me with dread when I tell him, can't remember the last time he looked at me with lust. I really can't believe what we have become on this horrendously unfair journey of secondary infertility

[mrskittenpie]

Hi annabel thank you, hope you've had a lovely day too. I've had a really emotional day, felt so protective of ds and so lucky to have him. He's just turned 5 so i think it has been a combination of that and Mother's Day. 5 years seems too big a gap - I know others have bigger age gaps but this seems yet another milestone I've failed to get pregnant for.

[Annabellaboo]

Hi ladies. Just wanted to wish all you mums of 1 out there a happy Mother's Day.
I hope it has been filled with love and fun with your little one. I am feeling grateful and lucky to be a mum to my amazing little boy.

[blackcherries]

katymac that sounds horrendous, I was really worried about getting OHSS actually, for that reason. How devastating that even with 'two in the bank' it didn't work out

hhno you've been through the mill as well, best of luck that it works this time.

Yes my transfer was 5-day and had 3 for the freezer too. Luckily the OHSS symptoms subsided and I'm enjoying feeling 'normal' again, no heavy ovaries or ridiculous bloating. The transfer was fine, weird that you don't really feel anything! Test date is next weekend. I don't have any symptoms whatsoever but I know that with first pregnancy I didn't have any until AF was a bit overdue so not expecting any.

[Annabellaboo]

Hi ladies. Katymac I remember you. Sorry you haven't had more luck, sounds like you've been had a tough run of it.
I am quite amused by the refrigerated uterus, I think maybe mine is, that would explain at lot-lol!!
I often think I'm doing fine and then someone throws a big cream pie all over my face. Today our 4 yr old DS threw one. We told him to stop interrupting mummy and daddy constantly when we are trying to talk and he looked sad and said "maybe if you had a baby I would have someone to talk to and play with".
Heart. Broken. 💔

[Hhno2]

Spottyteapot - not sure about being strong think it's more just putting on a brace front lol! Well first time round obvs we couldn't do naturally we tried iui's a few times but that didn't work but as soon as we decided to do ivf it went swimmingly literally by the book no problems happened first time round it was great and we ended up with our little man. But this time round has been a different story for some reason I've had three hysteroscopies and 3 failed cycles 1 was cancelled before transfer 1 was frozen 2nd was fresh which ended in chemical preg and now this is our frozen one of the fresh batch so hoping it works! If not we have 5 more frozen but they said would be best to send off for pgd and see from that which ones are viable or not! So this time round has definitely been the hardest!
Your still young too so it should go well for you but if your desperate and financially can do it I would say go private and just begin the process and if not just push for them to start earlier if u can !!! Just keep strong my Motto is thank god we have one already we are very fortunate it doesn't help and I hate it when ppl say well at least you have him because I feel the longing for a second is the same as the first time round but we are lucky so try and think positive! I'm hoping positivity is the answer!! 🙏 X

[spottyteapot16]

Hhno it sounds like you've been so strong, I really hope that you have a sticky bean :) i know it doesn't really help right now but i suppose it's a positive thing that you are still young so even if you have a break you could try again in the future..Thanks for reassurance re NHS, time to start saving i guess!I have a friend who has 3 kids 5 years apart and she was telling me what a good age gap it was, it was nice to hear positive things about the bigger age gap. Has it been different experiencing difficulty concieving this time around? Xxxx

[Hhno2]

P.s so sorry to hear about your miscarriage must be awful! Xx

[Hhno2]

Spottyteapot I feel your pain they all go on about how hard everything is what's worse they go on about how they can't believe how they weren't planning on the 2nd pregnancies "it just happened" aghhh!!!
I think this is normal for Nhs. I had unexplained infertility with my son so it's always been the case for me but we were so desperate we just went down the private route it was a lot of money but we knew if we didn't that nhs just don't give in for a long long time! And because we had frozen from that cycle we had to continue down that route for a second and slowly slowly we are just eating into our savings at some point it does have to stop! I am also 31 sadly the NHS see it as well you should try longer. We've been trying really Since do was born but nothing works and he's 3 now so ivf is def the route for us the hardest part is there being no real reasoning as to why we cannot conceive naturally..
you will get there and I pray I do too.. this is the last shot for us for a while I don't think physically I can do it anymore but we will see hopefully this little blasto is settling in for good!;)

[spottyteapot16]

I don't shrug off any more, I'm honest - they asked, so I tell them! Shuts them up a bit. But if one moreerson tells me to relax I'm going to hit them in the face. Just met up with 3 ladies I'm friends with from antenatal with dd1 who have all popped out no 2 with 4 weeks of each other, all complaining about how hard it is - sure it is hard but difficult not to snap back sometimes. Or maybe I'm just a bad person! Good luck with 2ww Katie and hno,hope you can feel a bit at peace with it. It is so hard though, I'm starting to feel like it will just be the 3 of us forever. Just wondering as you guys have loads more experience than me- I'm 31, trying for 16 months post contraception injection wearing off, had a m/c in September and Dr just did bloods on day 17 and has said they're ok and to try for another year. Dh not tested. Does this sound normal treatment wise? Just feels like a very long time to just try if something is up?

[Hhno2]

Closephine haha I know it does sound like something that could be real

Black cherries are you in your two week wait? I just did 5 day transfer how did you find it? The two week wait scares me I really hope I don't go loopy by the end of it lol

Katy I feel your pain about everyone popping them out what's worse is everyone keeps turning to me saying hurry up you should be on no2 already!!! So heartbreaking to fake a smile and shrug it off