Any success stories and ideas for secondary infertility?

[Annabellaboo]

Hello ladies.
I am hoping to get some ideas and support on here.
I am 35 years old, very healthy with a 3 year DS. We have been trying to conceive our second child for 2 years now. I became pregnant very easily with my first and had an easy pregnancy.
This time nothing.
I have had all the tests the nhs provides. Progesterone normal, I ovulate, DH sperm count is normal, no blockages etc etc. I have tried charting, ov sticks, changed my already pretty healthy diet (cut out refined sugars and have lots more greens etc, and alkalised my body). I take advised supplements and have even tried acupuncture.
I do however have short cycles, sometimes as short as 21 days but averaging 24. This is a little shorter than I had before my DS.
We cannot afford IVF and I am not sure I can face that anyway.
My consultant last month has prescribed me a half dose (25mg) of clomid, which a scan showed on the first round it definitely boosted things even more with a good few mature follicles. I already ovulate but she thought as my cycles are quite short and a little irregular it may give me a boost.
I have been convinced several times I was pregnant (oh how cruel our bodies and brains can be!) but AF always turns up.
I guess what I am asking is does anyone have any other suggestions of things I could try or why I can't conceive time. I am open to theories and alternative methods.
Any experience in this subject and success stories please share.
I try not to stress about it all, but some months it just really gets you down as there is no real 'reason'. The hard thing is watching other mums around get pregnant multiple times so easily.
Thank you for listening!
Anna

Oh no closephine I know exactly where your head is at! sorry the crazy has taken hold. I would say relax and wait a couple more days but I wouldn't be able to myself so I won't preach. Last month I tested morning and night for a couple days until I finally got a grip of myself! can totally understand the cramps are convincing you. Apparently 13 dpo a sensitive test is likely to show a positive.
Here for you if you!!

Last line was just supposed to be here for you!

Yes rose chocolate is such a good idea!
I was on a no sugar thing for ages but have purposely fallen off the wagon lately. A girls gotta live and enjoy life a little- especially with what we are going through!

We went for Chinese :) ds has this weird love for seaweed. That's pretty much all he ate - a plate of seaweed but i did have to sneak in a bit of Easter egg when we got home obviously.

The crazy has abated slightly this morning. I avoided the tests. Cramps seem to have stopped sadly so they were probably nothing. I'm going to try and control myself now and not test again until Monday when I'll use the first response.

I woke up this morning and decided we HAVE to do Ivf in June for my sanity. We could continue this road for years and maybe get lucky eventually but I don't think I can take much more of the mental torture.

Whereabouts are you two now? Just starting the 2ww? Did either of you manage to beat 4 in 24 hours

(Probably would have been helpful to add that we called the clinic yesterday and they said we are most likely too late for May because of paper work, blood tests etc we'll need in advance of starting the cycle, so that's why June is now the month... Maybe )

Hi ladies! I hope you don't mind mind if I join you. Anna, your story really resonates with me. I've been TTC #2 for 18 months with no luck. 35 y/o and generally in really good health. I was "diagnosed" with unexplained secondary infertility after a battery of tests from my reproductive endocrinologist (RE). Frustrating when there's no real reason. I too have tried cleaning up my diet to be more alkaline, cutting out caffeine and alcohol, taking CoQ10, vitamin D, weekly acupuncture, daily fertility yoga. I feel healthier, but no luck. Cycles vary from 28-34 days. I too wonder if those on the longer side were chemical pregnancies.

This thread has been enlightening and reassuring. Unexplained secondary infertility is so difficult for people to understand, its easy to just suffer in silence.

Anna, how have you been feeling on clomid? Any changes in CF? I seem to be ovulating I'm my own, too but RE recommended putting me on clomid, although she only gave me a rate of success of 5% per cycle. She was pushing either IUI and IVF at 15% and 50% success rate per cycle. My husband wants to do IVF, but I'm nervous about the cost and how I will react to all of the medications.

Anyone on the thread try IUI?

Either way I'm getting a second opinion next week.

Hi ladies. AF showed up on Monday just gone:( Ugh. Bit fed up. One of my best friends is pregnant with #2 at the moment. I am happy for her but it's hard to listen to her talk about buying stuff for the baby etc... I didn't tell her that I'm having difficulty conceiving #2 because I don't want to rain on her parade or make things about me. I hope you are all well anyway. I'm off to the doc in a week to start looking into why things aren't happening.

Hi Jenny, welcome to the thread - I have had IUI a few times (we can have 6 free cycles where I live). I don't want to put too much of a downer on it, but I don't feel like it is the right thing for my DH and I as he has a low count, which for some reason seems to get even lower on the day of IUI (stage fright?). If you can have it for free, I would say go for it (but don't waste too much time in it). If you have to pay for it, I'm really not sure it is something I would recommend. I haven't read about many success stories!

Silky - sorry to hear AF arrived, hope you get somewhere at your appointment. Some of my friends who had their first at the same time as me are now into number 3 :( it just signifies how long we've been trying in terms of how many children we could have if it had worked first time!

Hi Jenny! Yes I've also heard mixed things about IUI. They don't offer it on the NHS anymore in my area, due to the low success rates, they just go straight for IVF as they feel its more cost-effective. Nevertheless, one of my friends tried for a year to get pregnant and then got pregnant first time with IUI- I have a feeling she was just very lucky (as she has now been told she is likely going to have an early menopause) but you never know.

Silky, sorry to hear about your AF. It doesn't get easier, somehow. It's so hard when people around you get pregnant at the flick of a switch, trying to be happy for them but feeling like crying. One of my closest friends recently got pregnant with her third, she was very understanding about it as she knows my situation. But yes it's so hard as you don't want to be putting a downer on things when friends are expecting or have small babies, and yet it's all you can think of.

Closephine have you tested again or had any signs of AF yet? I'm day 20 of my cycle, not sure when I ovulated this month, but I'm expecting AF in just over a week. Trying hard to keep it out of my mind, but know the crazy will also set in during the next few days, eurgh. I think it's a really positive step that you've decided to go for the IVF in June. It must feel quite scary, but nice to feel like you're doing something really proactive and giving it your best shot.

Anna, I also have an appointment with the consultant on Tuesday so we can compare notes! I won't get an AMH in my area (its crazy how it differs so much depending on where we all live). I'm not sure they would offer laporoscopy either (especially as I've not been trying that long) but according to Dr Robert Winston (fertility guru) it is the gold standard in fertility investigation so would be good if you can persuade them.

We are onto our last DTD tonight, phew! We've done alternate days this cycle, and its felt a lot more manageable, no way would we be able to beat your record Closephine!

On a lighter and totally separate note, I recommend Making a murderer if anyone needs some good distraction, we are hooked!

Hi Rose - no I've managed not to test again. Plan is (yes, I've given this a lot of thought!) that I will use the cheap internet test tomorrow morning and then the first response on Monday morning which is day 14dpo and will be a definitive answer. I'm getting my usual increasing tender boobs so pretty sure it's going to be BFN but AF won't arrive until I stop the progesterone so will stop after testing on Monday and AF should arrive a couple of days later.

Thanks for the tv recommendation - DH and I are currently hooked on orange is the new black but almost at the end of the latest season so may look at the one after!

Closephine- orange is the new black is sooo good isn't it! Have you watched breaking bad? It's horrific but totally amazing.
Welcome Jenny. Glad you have found us here. Yes our story really is so similar. I have also tried all those alternative methods. I have recently cut out gluten too as there are links to infertility and I am sensitive to it anyway. Isn't it so frustrating there seems to be no reason. I don't buy this at all, there obviously is a reason we just don't know what. Have you had your AMH levels tested? I did that recently and luckily they are normal for my age so that's reassuring. To be honest I wouldn't recomend clomid if you are ovulating. I came off it after 2 months. I hated the symptons and all it seemed to do was make my progesterone levels get sky high but still no pregnancy. Ovulation is not my problem. The only benefit I would say is yes it lengthened my cycles a few days (mine are short). As yours seem longer I would say that isn't a benefit you need.
Rose- my area doesn't do the AMH test either, I decided to get it done privately so I could cross it off the list. I just found my nearest private fertility clinic and it cost £100.
Sorry AF arrived silky. Good you are getting the ball rolling by going to docs. At least if you have any questions you can pick our brains on here.
Closephine-well done for holding out with the testing. Keeping all my fingers and toes crossed for you.
I am doing ok at the moment. Had a busy week which helps me. Not even sure what day of my cycle I'm on this month yet, trying to hold the crazy off for as long as possible!

Feeling pretty low :( I woke up in the night and used the Internet cheapie test I had, BFN obviously. I then woke up first thing and thought I'd check it in the bin, just in case a line had appeared after. I must have fallen back to sleep and DREAMT that when I when went to the bin there was a really clear second line. Then woke up again and was very sad it was just a very vivid dream, went straight to the bin and of course there's only one stupid solitary line there. Fuck my subconscious. (Excuse my language).

Sorry to hear that closephine. That is the worst feel for you. Hopefully you can look to June now and feel some comfort in that xx

Thanks Anna, working on pulling myself together for Easter lunch :)

So sorry Closephine, the mind is so bloody cruel. What a rubbish night for you. Really think you're doing the right thing with the IVF. Hope Easter lunch can cheer you up, make sure you have an extra big glass of wine (well that's my way of coping !)

Thanks Rose, had quite a nice day in the end. Lunch at my parents with a little egg hunt for ds (with a pang of sadness that he had to do it in his own). Didn't fancy wine today, worried it might make me all emotional!

Does anyone else torture themselves by popping over to the conception board from time to time? 'Tested at 9dpo, first month of not really trying, faint line... What does it mean??' - IT MEANS YOUR PREGNANT LOVE. Gah I'm just jealous :)

Just came across this article whilst doing one of my crazy google searches I cried when reading it as it really sums up my emotions exactly. Really good article. Wanted to share with you all if you fancy a read.
gu.com/p/2gzgm/sbl

Funnily I remember reading that quite a few months ago, before I had been trying that long. It sums it up so well, the bit where she's watching her son play in the garden by himself makes me well up.
Closephine that made me laugh 😀, bloody people who need to go online to 'confirm' they're fricking pregnant.
My DD decided to wake up at 4.30 this morning so we're a bit worse for wear today 😬

Thanks Anna, sometimes I feel like sharing something like that on fb as a way of outing myself. I don't really know why I'd want to, but it might stop the wonderings of others and questions behind my back (which are probably all in my head?). Yes, the garden part got me too - my ds goes one step further, he climbs up our fence and watches our next door neighbours children playing together in their garden

Oh no Rose and with the clocks going forward too, that's rubbish!

We're off to watch zootropolis this afternoon seeing as it's such awful weather! Quite looking forward to it.

Hello ladies I wonder if I could join you? I've been lurking for a bit and your stories sound similar to mine.
I'm 38, got 4yr old ds and been ttc number 2 since June 2014 - which means it's coming up to dreaded 2 year mark. I'm lost. I've tried everything - vitamins, opks, reflexology, acupuncture, feeling angry, feeling sad, feeling positive, feeling hopeless. Had a really bad week this week when friends shared their happy news that she is pregnant again and their little boy is a lot younger than ours. In fact everyone around me seems to get pregnant immediately and I'm sick of putting a brave face on it. In fact I'm sick and tired of ttc full stop but it breaks my heart to see ds having to play on his own and wondering why he's not got a brother or sister. Advice I've received has been - relax and it will happen or you should be happy with one or you'd best get a move on and get pregnant. People have no idea the hell I am going through and every month I torture myself more and more. Doctor was worse than useless - you have a child there can be nothing wrong with you and we cannot do anything on the nhs as you have a child, so she just gave me a private clinic information sheet.
I'm fed up and lost - sorry for the rant - just feeling it's all a little unfair when I've tried everything I could.
Anyway - hello everyone

Hi MrsKitten - welcome to the thread, sorry you find yourself here too. We do not have the nhs where I live, but based on what the other ladies have said on this thread I think your dr is wrong. You should at least have been offered some blood tests to check your are ovulating and a referral for further tests. I know you won't be eligible for Ivf but they should be able to help you with investigations to try and identify any issues. Could you try again with your Dr? Or perhaps try seeing someone different?

My ds is also 4 and full of questions about 'when we have a baby'. Breaks my heart that I don't seem to be able to give him a brother or sister.

Hi MrsKitten, you should definitely be entitled to bloods tests, semen analysis and basic investigations such as HSG and pelvic Ultrasound on the NHS, so I would arrange to see another GP. That's quite unacceptable how that GP could say those things.

We've had such a full on day, my DD has been up since half 5 (half 4 old time!!) and as a result has been a little terror. Quite embarrassing when we are staying with my SIL who has the most well-behaved 3 year old in the history of mankind. Also always get a bit paranoid that it's because she needs a sibling and start getting irritated at DH for giving her too much attention etc etc, which is ridiculous really.

My SIL is also now very pregnant, and she's been very supportive towards me, but my DH and I find it awkward when her husband occasionally rubs her belly affectionately and says 'hello number two' right in front of us. Oh I don't know, obviously they're not doing it to hurt us at all, but it does make me wonder why people can be a little thoughtless. (he also knows our situation).....are people totally oblivious to how they come across?!

Thank you everyone for the warm welcome. Mrs Kitten, welcome to the thread :)
Rose and Anna, thank you for the candid thoughts and experiences on IUI...confirms my thoughts that the rate of success is too low for the amount it involves/costs.

Rose, I did have my AMH measured and that was reassuring, on the high end although borderline PCOS for my age. Fortunate that my insurance covered it.

Anna, thank you for sharing your experience of clomid, I'm thinking I may be worse off taking it as I ovulate most months (confirmed by OPKs and temperature).

Closephine, I also think about posting a secondary infertility article to FB to send out a "hint" to my friends without having to fully disclose. Its a hard secret to keep, but I've also found that some of my best friends haven't reacted very well. ("You should just relax", "maybe you just need to take a break", "what's the big deal, you've been blessed with one already") I'm overly sensitive and secondary infertility is a hard thing to understand (which I get, I'm having a hard time understanding it myself). So I haven't told many people. We had to "come out" this week to my inlaws which was incredibly difficult. My SIL and I had our first babies (boys) within 3 months of each other (my son is older) and she delivered her second in November. The holidays were a difficult time for us, the emotional roller coaster of infertility was taking a toll on us and we decided to make our own plans for Thanksgiving (my inlaws are local, my family is not) which created lots of hurt feelings. It was so awkward, I didn't want to share our frustration/hurt/sadness while the family was celebrating and welcoming a new baby. And I didn't want them to think I wasn't overjoyed by having a new nephew. As plans for a week long Summer holiday were being made for an extra large and expensive house to accommodate our growing families we had to share why we wouldn't be coming. I lost a lot of sleep this week. Overall, they've been supportive but Easter felt very awkward.

Hi everyone, thank you for your welcomes. While it's a horrible position we're in it helps to be able to share on here.
Yes I will go back to my GP - I was fobbed off but will see if I can see someone else there.
closephine - it's heartbreaking when they ask about a baby brother or sister, I don't really know what to say.
rose - yes I do think people are oblivious when they say or do such thoughtless things. I find that people don't take secondary infertility seriously - like it's something that can be fixed easily and isn't really an issue when the reality is so much different.
jenny - I totally get how you feel, people just don't understand- my friends tell me similar nonsense. And I get why you wouldn't want to be in the midst of your family for that, it's too difficult to deal with.

Ladies... I'm so sorry but can I eat my words and be THAT person?! I took a first response test this morning at 15dpo... After 3 mins I chucked it in the bin. Went back to have a shower about half an hour later and now I can see a line (to the left of the control)?? Is it an evap? DH can see it too but we are at a loss. It looks pink at the edges but much much fainter in the middle part. What do you think? I'm wondering whether to call my hospital and ask for a blood test or if I'm just totally deluded? I don't have much experience with first response tests so no idea how bad they are for evap lines... So sorry to ask here but I don't know what to do! I'm taking progesterone so AF is delayed until I stop using it. Not sure if I'm just prolonging the agony.