Any success stories and ideas for secondary infertility?

[Annabellaboo]

Hello ladies.
I am hoping to get some ideas and support on here.
I am 35 years old, very healthy with a 3 year DS. We have been trying to conceive our second child for 2 years now. I became pregnant very easily with my first and had an easy pregnancy.
This time nothing.
I have had all the tests the nhs provides. Progesterone normal, I ovulate, DH sperm count is normal, no blockages etc etc. I have tried charting, ov sticks, changed my already pretty healthy diet (cut out refined sugars and have lots more greens etc, and alkalised my body). I take advised supplements and have even tried acupuncture.
I do however have short cycles, sometimes as short as 21 days but averaging 24. This is a little shorter than I had before my DS.
We cannot afford IVF and I am not sure I can face that anyway.
My consultant last month has prescribed me a half dose (25mg) of clomid, which a scan showed on the first round it definitely boosted things even more with a good few mature follicles. I already ovulate but she thought as my cycles are quite short and a little irregular it may give me a boost.
I have been convinced several times I was pregnant (oh how cruel our bodies and brains can be!) but AF always turns up.
I guess what I am asking is does anyone have any other suggestions of things I could try or why I can't conceive time. I am open to theories and alternative methods.
Any experience in this subject and success stories please share.
I try not to stress about it all, but some months it just really gets you down as there is no real 'reason'. The hard thing is watching other mums around get pregnant multiple times so easily.
Thank you for listening!
Anna

[mrskittenpie]

harry - sorry to hear that. The answer is I honestly don't know how to pick yourself up each month. It does get more difficult every month. My disappointment will be this weekend coming up and I don't know how to cope with it either. Look after yourself, maybe do something to spoil yourself. We're all here if you need to talk about it. It truly is horrible though

[Annabellaboo]

It does get a little easier Harry I promise you. Some months I find worse than others but generally I am not in the state I used to be each month. I guess I've got past that hopeful point and never actually expect or believe I could really get pregnant now, so although still disappointing of course, never a surprise. I have had every possible early pregnancy symptom mimicked over the years that I learn not to trust any of them.
I am sorry you are hurting, I know how painful it is. I still can't believe i find myself in this position sometimes. We just have to carry on because what other choice do we have? Sucks. Hugs to you.

[spottyteapot16]

Hello ladies, i hope you don't mind me joining. I'm sixteen months into trying for a second and have just had my first set of bloods which were fine - just told to relax and try for another year! YEAR! Ugh. Definitely know what you mean about having every faux pregnancy symptom - it is literally impossible to tell, i was a week late with sickness and still not pregnant! Bodies are mean. In terms of coping with disappointment, i was going mental and decided to have a month off trying and although it sounds nuts it was surprisingly nice not having the 2ww and i felt better for it...Might be worth a try? Anyway, really impressed by how strong everyone on this board is. Have been lurking a little and it's been inspiring to see others in a similar-ish situation just keeping going. xx

[closephine85]

Hi ladies

Welcome to all the newbies!

Sorry I've been MIA for a while! Licking my wounds after a failed ivf cycle. We went to Serum in Athens and all went well really, it just didn't work. We had a total disaster trip home which involved running round gatwick airport for 48 hours and I also caught a horrendous stomach bug off my son at prime implantation time, so whether any of that made a difference I don't know.

We have 2 frozen embryos and will go back for an FET at some point later in the year, but at the moment unsure when. Currently waiting for ovulation but it seems to have gone awol since stopping all the ivf drugs. Currently in cycle day 17 and no sign of it! Perhaps my body has just given up completely at the idea of any more children.

We told ds exactly what was going on. he was with us in Athens for the 10 days and is old enough to understand now. He was disappointed that it didn't work, but he has total optimism and confidence that it will work one day. He's utterly convinced he will have a baby brother, he just has to be patient. I wish I had his optimism! (I'm now also stressing that if we do ever have another, it needs to be a boy as if he's waited this long and been this patient he really should get the brother he wants so much!)

[Annabellaboo]

Closephine- hello! Funny I was just thinking about you today and was wondering how thing were going. Sorry your first round of ivf didn't work. How did you find serum? Penny is great isn't she? Did you have any other tests done whilst you were there? How confident is she you ivf will work for you? Sorry for the million questions but I've missed you on here and am always routing for you. Not surprised the drugs have messed up ovulation. I have had late ovulation without drugs before so don't worry.
Harry, glad the bloods showed you ovulated. Yes that number sound like you did.
Spottyteapot- welcome. Don't wait another year if you want to try and find some answers. I waited too long and wish I hadn't now. You may have to be proactive if the doc won't help. Push them for some other basic tests like a hsg. Good luck, here if you need any tips.
Saw my acupuncturist yesterday who basically scratched his head and in so many words said he can't help me any further and dismissed me from any further treatment! He said my body seems fine and nothing seems wrong so even he has no clue. On one hand I'm relived to be supposedly healthy and by the fact that he isn't just looking to rip me off by keep seeing me; but on the other hand I feel like what was the bloody point then in the first place! I am actually quite amused by it, even a very experienced accupuncturist and hearbalist can't help me! I have now officially tried every alternative therapy out there I believe. I'm definitely done! Happy to not spend any further money on it all, but still happy I can at least know I tried right?!

[Blinkyblink]

I'm sorry to intrude

I found myself reading this entire thread. This is one strong supportive group of posters. I wanted to wish you all well but I also wanted to say that unthread someone asked whether other felt mums of more than 1 think that you are inferior. I promise that as aum of two I have never encountered even a whiff of anyone thinking/saying/suggesting that mums of one are somehow inferior mums who have an easy time of it. Motherhood is motherhood. Period.

All the best x

[Tara04]

Hi ladies welcome to all the newbies sorry yous are all going through this sorry iv not been on had a lot going on but been checking in to see if any news!
Annabellboo sorry about the acupuncture as you say it's good he isn't ripping you off but if it was helping you relax that sucks!you really have tried and you seem positive on the road of if it's not ment to be but I do hope that you will post on here soon that you got ur bfp!
Close I'm so sorry ivf wasn't successful this time i can't imagine how your feeling I think everyone thinks that if all else fails ivf will work but as iv said before my sil had 7 rounds before success.thats great I were able to explain to your little one about what is going on xx
Well as I said had a lot going on think I wrote a while back about prolactin as I was lactating well my bloods came back at 786 should be 25 so with high prolactin you don't ovulate but I have my cycle every 29 to 30 days they done bloods a week after and the receptionist called saying I hadn't ovulated???but I was on day 4 of my cycle when they repeated the prolactin so went to my docs yesterday and she said the reception was wrong as the test wasn't done for that but it showed my prolactin had dropped but here's the thing I started af on the 4th heavy bleeds and clots then finished up 2 days later iv came on again another full period doctor thinks it's been the early miscarriage that's just sent my hormones all over the place so for the first tim in forever iv no idea where I am in my cycle I should have been ovulating just now but still on my period!thats 15 days of bleeding with a 2 day break.im a big worryer trying anything that can mess up your cycle but I'm now going to try maca my cycle is already messed up so can't muck it anymore🙄.
Harry mine was 35.4 on day 21 and they said that was fine so seems anything above 30 is good!as for the motivation I have months I'm full on and opk and dtd as much as possible and other months I just don't care can't be bothered but youv just got to pull yourself together and get back in action 😂 Sometimes it helps if you can just take a break from it.
Spotty teapot if you don't mind me asking how old are you?did they give a reason why uv to wait another year? Xx

[mrskittenpie]

close so sorry to hear what happened. That must be so difficult to deal with. At least you've got your frozen embryos to go for it again when you're feeling ready.
annabel - I had similar with my acupuncturist last year. She said there was absolutely no reason why I wasn't getting pregnant! Well clearly there is. She said she'd helped so many women but couldn't help me. Like you say though at least we know we've tried everything. I remember thinking that acupuncture was the answer and it couldn't fail. How wrong was I.
Welcome spotty - sorry you find yourself in this position.

Well after a really hard week involving a baby bomb of somebody close and the last of my friends to have 1 child except me I then had early AF not just a couple of days but at 4dpo! I'm using that ovusense monitor I've used before which is very specific as to your ovulation date - 99.9% or something so it wasn't wrong. So what on earth? I'm taking B vitamin as I've always suspected a short luteal phase but that is beyond ridiculous. My af lasts 12 days - I know that's stupidly long but my doctor said that was fine so in essence I'm only having 13 days break from bleeding a month if this is to continue.
So I've decided to go for a private fertility assessment. I've thrown enough money at alternatives, vitamins and tests and my doctor is beyond useless. If it says there is something really wrong then at least I can try to move on because nearly 3 years of this hell is taking its toll. I'm avoiding a lunch meeting today with friends because someone will be parading their new second baby and apparently we have to be supportive because she's 'finding it hard with 2 under 2' I can't even be bothered to plaster the fake smile on today.

[Annabellaboo]

Morning ladies. Kitten-Good for you not forcing yourself to put on a smile. I think it's important we look after ourselves first and don't cater to others if it hurts too much. Your cycle really doesn't sound right. I am angry to hear your doctors response, clearly they don't want to deal with it because it's not straight forward. I am no doctor but it is obvious you shouldn't be bleeding for 12 days and then have only 13 days off. You are absolutely doing the right thing getting some private investigations. I am sure you will find some answers of some sort. Keep us posted.
Tara- that does sound very confusing! Sorry you may have had an early miscarriage. I took maca for a while, I read some very good things about it. Not sure what helped my cycles in the end (there was a time I was positively rattling with supplements!) I did manage to lengthen my cycles a couple days naturally through good diet and supplements I would say so it's always worth a try.
I have developed a new fixation of searching for a puppy to add to our family! I am feeling the need to add to our family one way or another!
Have a good weekd everyone.

[mrskittenpie]

Thanks annabel - I agree - it's not right but my doctor obviously can't be bothered. I was advised to go on the pill to sort out the prolonged bleeding!
Have fun finding a puppy! Over the last few months we've had a puppy and a kitten and they are adorable, last night I was feeling particularly down and had a good cry and they both snuggled into me.
You too, have a good weekend

[Tara04]

Thanks Anna the mmc was 3 months ago tho so not sure if that is the cause or just an easy explanation for the doctor.oooo a puppy can't wait to hear what u get I have 3 dogs still want a baby tho 😆.miss kitten wow that's good youv went private there's no room at all to get pregnant with a cycle like that can't believe your doctor said that was fine!sorry youv had another friend with a baby bomb it really is the hardest thing xx

[cluelessnewmum]

I hope you don't mind me joining too... Been trying to conceive dc2 for 15 months. Now starting fertility treatment proper. Last month had a monitored cycle with an otrivelle trigger shot. Didn't work and I've just started spotting today so I know I'll be starting my period in the next couple of days, so game over, again... Feeling a bit glum so came on here to find some kindred spirits.

Next month ovulation induction, stage before ivf for me, so we'll see.

Secondary infertility is so bloody difficult to get your head around as you literally can't fathom what's gone wrong. I've had all the blood tests now had womb linings measured, follicles measured, I'm always told it all looks good... Which basically means whatever is going wrong is something they don't understand or know about. So how do they solve it then.

Wishing everyone the best of luck in their next cycles xx

[closephine85]

Haha Anna - don't worry about all the questions! Penny was lovely and I can't fault Serum, I honestly think that whatever went wrong, was out of their control. My DH had a number of DNA fragmentation tests done whilst we were out there, most of which came back a 'bit' high and a couple were the high end of the normal ranges. Due to this, it's very possible that although the embryos looked perfectly normal, they may have been chromosmally defunct and so failed to implant. Of course there is every chance this is the case with out two frozen ones as well so if that cycle doesn't work, we may have to try donor sperm.

Blinky - i also read that thread. I have never been made to feel inferior by my friends. However I have noticed friendships forming based on the ages of children that we get left out of.

Kitten - are you having full flow AF from 4dpo or just spotting? Either way it doesn't sound right. Have you asked if you can be prescribed progesterone pessaries to see if they make a difference to the length of your literal phase? I went through a phase of early spotting from about 4dpo so started taking a high dose of B6 and that did sort it out for me.

I finally ovulated at 19dpo. I was quite enjoying the thought that I might have somehow missed it and therefore I wouldn't know where I was in the 2ww, but I got definite pains on Friday morning so now I know where I'm at. Damn!

Welcome Clueless - has your DH been tested as well?

[cluelessnewmum]

Thank you closephine, yes dh has been tested, he's fine too. Sounds terrible but at least if there's an obvious problem you can do something about it.

I'm totally with you on not having a tww - one cycle I tried agnus castus and I didn't ovulate that month (so clearly doesn't work for everyone), but on the plus side at had a really nice month as I knew I wasn't going to be pregnant so focused on other things in life. Good luck with this cycle! X

[Annabellaboo]

Morning all. Welcome clueless and good luck with the private investigations/treatment. Have you been offered a hysteroscopy? That is where I got most of my answers so far and it was fairly simple and unobtrusive compared to a laparoscopy. It's the only real way of looking right into the uterus to see what's going on. No scan can show what's really going on.
Close- glad you had such a good experience at serum. I agree they were great. Do you know when you will be going back for your second round? I am pleased you are sounding more positive and determined again, I know how hopeless you felt back there for a while. So husband is now ok with the possibility of a sperm donor? Sounds like you have both made some big decisions lately, well done.
I am now on the 2ww. This s*#t really gets old doesn't it?!

[blackcherries]

Secondary infertility is so bloody difficult to get your head around as you literally can't fathom what's gone wrong.

Yes, this is so true. Regardless of what happens in my 'IVF journey' I will always be wondering how we conceived ds1 so easily and what happened in the meantime!

I am now waiting for embryo transfer (day 3 today and looking good). Feeling the effects though of mild OHSS, nothing to be concerned about yet as it's quite common but feeling uncomfortable on and off. Hadn't really been prepared for that as not really been affected by the other drugs. Luckily been off work since EC but back tomorrow... loose clothing for me...

[cluelessnewmum]

Annabellaboo - yes I'm doing NHS and private in parallel but NHS progress is much slower obvs. Was meant to get hysteroscopy through NHS but last month they said the doctor wasn't available on the right days for my cycle so call back next month

So I will this month but I'll have to check with private clinic that this won't interfere with the ovulation induction drugs,so it gets a bit complicated. I would love to get answers though, and glad you got some from the procedure.

Blackcherries - indeed it is so difficult to know why it has happened. When you read about secondary infertility they tend to blame it on your advancing age and egg decline. But I don't feel in my case the is why, I'm 34 and I'm told for my age my AMH, FSH, LH, progesterone etc are all good.

For me the key difference is that I have started spotting for a few days before my cycle which I never used to before my first pregnancy. I just feel my first pregnancy has caused a change in my body, but no one seems to be able to explain it and why. It is so frustrating, and it shows how little we still know about it all.

Good luck with the embryo transfer blackcherries, I have no experience of this yet. Started period today do got to start gonal f Injections tomorrow, bit nervous about side effects...

[Katymac32]

Hey everyone
I doubt anyone remembers me as I joined ages ago and then needed a break as I was just getting myself down. TTC no 2 for two years now. My little boy is 3. It's heartbreaking and in October we did ivf for the first time which was horrendous! I got 25 eggs and OHSS and ended up extremely ill in hospital! They cancelled my transfer and we only got 2 frozen to try. We went back for a FET and on the day of transfer BOTH failed to thaw. Currently waiting my WTF appointment!

Think I'm slowly adjusting my thinking to maybe it will just be the three of us now. We need to move on but some days are easier than others.

Closephine- sorry to hear about your IVF however keeping all crossed for the frozen. You sound a lot more positive which is good!

I'm sorry to see so many of us in the same boat I just wish there were more of us in actual real life!! Everyone around me is popping them out!

[Hhno2]

Hi everyone new to here. Not quite sure if I'm classified as secondary infertility. We struggled to conceive my son and ended up doing icsi but it went swimmingly in fact by the book but trying for a sibling has been a different story we used the frozen embies from his cycle three years on it failed.... started a new cycle mid way through got cancelled.... did a fresh cycle that ended in chemical pregnancy and now on a frozen cycle had transfer yesterday.. it's been a long process and I am physically and mentally drained but mostly so baffled as to why my body is not responding in the same way to it all like it did with my son!
I now have a refrigerated uterus and in the past year have had 3 hysteroscopys if this cycle ends in bfn I think I will have to take a break from it all for a while but am🙏 This is it!!!!!!!
X

[Hhno2]

Retroverted not refrigerated lol

[Hhno2]

Katymac32 our stories sound so similar! I feel your pain! It's very tough

[closephine85]

Hi all

Katy - so sorry to hear about your failed cycles and that you were so ill! Are you thinking you will go again? Sounds like perhaps the protocol wasn't quite right for you if you ended up with so many eggs but only 3 blasts?!

Blackcherries - good luck with your 2ww. Did you have a day 5 transfer?

Welcome Hhno - am laughing at a refrigerated uterus! It sounds like it should and could be a real thing!! I hope this round is the one for you.

Anna - I think I am currently in a better place. However who knows what will happen when the next baby bomb comes my way. They do tend to derail me a little, but short of moving to a log cabin in the mountains they're pretty unavoidable!

[Hhno2]

Closephine haha I know it does sound like something that could be real

Black cherries are you in your two week wait? I just did 5 day transfer how did you find it? The two week wait scares me I really hope I don't go loopy by the end of it lol

Katy I feel your pain about everyone popping them out what's worse is everyone keeps turning to me saying hurry up you should be on no2 already!!! So heartbreaking to fake a smile and shrug it off