Any success stories and ideas for secondary infertility?

[Annabellaboo]

Hello ladies.
I am hoping to get some ideas and support on here.
I am 35 years old, very healthy with a 3 year DS. We have been trying to conceive our second child for 2 years now. I became pregnant very easily with my first and had an easy pregnancy.
This time nothing.
I have had all the tests the nhs provides. Progesterone normal, I ovulate, DH sperm count is normal, no blockages etc etc. I have tried charting, ov sticks, changed my already pretty healthy diet (cut out refined sugars and have lots more greens etc, and alkalised my body). I take advised supplements and have even tried acupuncture.
I do however have short cycles, sometimes as short as 21 days but averaging 24. This is a little shorter than I had before my DS.
We cannot afford IVF and I am not sure I can face that anyway.
My consultant last month has prescribed me a half dose (25mg) of clomid, which a scan showed on the first round it definitely boosted things even more with a good few mature follicles. I already ovulate but she thought as my cycles are quite short and a little irregular it may give me a boost.
I have been convinced several times I was pregnant (oh how cruel our bodies and brains can be!) but AF always turns up.
I guess what I am asking is does anyone have any other suggestions of things I could try or why I can't conceive time. I am open to theories and alternative methods.
Any experience in this subject and success stories please share.
I try not to stress about it all, but some months it just really gets you down as there is no real 'reason'. The hard thing is watching other mums around get pregnant multiple times so easily.
Thank you for listening!
Anna

[Rose8282]

Hi ladies,
I see what you mean about struggling with that thought about the egg not having fertilised in the first place. I guess there is the hope that it may have fertilised but may or may not implant if you know the sperm is ok. Good on you for giving it your all this month though. So we are meant to start another round of 'trying' tonight, and I am absolutely shattered and quite frankly it is the last thing I feel like doing! Murgh!

It was my DD's 3rd bday today. Had such a lovely day with her and she has gone out like a light. Days like this make me think, hey maybe it's not so bad it just being the three of us. But I still want another so badly!

By the way, I hope it didn't come across in my previous post like I think I'm such a lovely person for being happy for my friend. This is far from the case, as I do often find myself having quite resentful thoughts about pregnant friends/acquaintances/random (including fat!) pregnant people walking down the street! I think in this case, like you mentioned Closephine, because I know she has struggled this past year, and understands what I'm going through, it made it much easier to be happy for her.

Right got to try and psych myself for feeling sexy tonight. I sometimes think it's a miracle how anyone gets pregnant when they have a toddler, what with (in our case) 6am starts and being run ragged!

[Rose8282]

Again, sorry if TMI, but do you generally do it every two days when you're trying?!
We alternate between that and every day (not easy!). The nurse at the fertility clinic recommended only every two days and I wondered if you guys had any strong opinions?

[silkyoreilly]

Hi,
hope it's alright to join in. I think I'm in a fairly similar situation in that I'm 35 and ttc #2. I conceived my dd 2nd cycle when I was 32, so I was hoping it wouldn't take too long, although I didn't expect to be that lucky twice! She's now coming up to 2 and we've been trying about 10 months which I know isn't that long in the scheme of things but I'm feeling a bit anxious. I had an ultrasound which didn't show up any irregularities, although I haven't had a lap or anything like that done yet. I'm going to the Dr to be referred to a consultant in April if nothing happens. I don't really have anything helpful to add or any advice but I thought it might be nice to chat to people in a similar situation. I am at the point now where lots of people I know are on their 2nd. My db has 4! I'm not upset exactly, but just feeling a bit anxious and disappointed. Good luck to you all :)

[closephine85]

Hi ladies

Rose - yes we DTD every other day from when my AF finished to when I got the peak - then we managed 4 times during that 48 hours has to be a record but we've reached the point of utter desperation for it to happen naturally now! I'm feeling quite resentful of the fact that my business is doing really well but everything I make is potentially going to go on Ivf :(

Welcome Silky - it's still early days for you, you may find its just taking its time to happen. It took us 6 months to conceive out DS, felt like an age at the time! Now I feel like he must be some kind of miracle child, no idea how we got so lucky :)

No symptoms at all over here - only 4dpo. Thankfully I'm super busy at the moment so it's taking my mind off things. Been incredibly stressed however the last few days due to trying to sort it ds's nursery place and being snowed under with work. DH helpfully pointed out that the stress won't have helped an already fairly hopeless situation!

[closephine85]

Oh, but in more positive news, I became a godmother yesterday

[Rose8282]

Closephine- well done on that incredible achievement (4 times in 48 hours!), not sure I would have it in me! You damn well deserve to get pregnant this month- keeping everything crossed for you. And that's lovely that you became a godmother, congratulations!

Welcome to the group Silky, and sorry to hear you've been struggling too. Hopefully it is just taking that bit longer and it won't be too long before you get good news. I've been trying for about 13 months now. Still very hopeful that it will happen naturally, but it's hard going!

Just had my pelvic ultrasound this afternoon. Ironically whilst I had a probe being prodded about inside me, my friend was whatsapping the group about her antenatal ultrasound scan result. You have to laugh. Or cry!
I won't get the result until our appointment with the consultant at the end of the month, but I suspect it'll be normal as have regular periods and don't have any symptoms of PCOS, and I think that's mainly what they check for?

Had a rare afternoon to myself this afternoon and just finished watching Still Alice, I do not recommend it if you need cheering up.

[Annabellaboo]

Hi ladies. Welcome silky! Yes try not to worry too much just yet, it could be some simple factors and just taking a little longer, good luck. And if you do need any advice if you don't get pregnant soon you know where to come.
Wow closephine-4 times in 48 hours! well done, not sure I could manage that myself and I think DH would be worn out! Most we managed one month was 5 nights in a row and that was a struggle! and yes rose we usually DTD every 2 days from about day 8 until ovulation.
I must confess I am struggling this week. Not sure why just feeling down about it all. I am not even sure I am ovulating this month which is really making me nervous. I don't have my usual ovulation symptons and my ov sticks are not showing a positive. I am now on day 10 and although I know I could still ovulate I usually do on day 10-11 and never later. It's my 2nd month off the clomid and I am worried it has messed up my natural ovulation which wasn't a problem before. So the thought of going through this cycle without even a hope is just depressing. I am still waiting for my AMH results and am nervous about that too. Not a positive week for me, really hope I can bounce back soon. Luckily I have a reiki session tomorrow so that may help me a bit.
Sorry to be such a Debbie downer tonight!

[Rose8282]

Oh sorry to hear you're not feeling too good, Anna. I'm also having a funny month where I am not getting usual ovulation symptoms- I'm sure it doesn't necessarily mean a great deal- try not to focus on them too much- though easier said than done. I also never had much luck with OPK sticks, though my blood tests all suggested I was ovulating, so I gave up using them as found it quite stressful, plus they're so expensive!

I'm tempted to look into this Reiki, it sounds really good!
Actually my last hypno session was really good and I came out feeling a lot more positive about things- she's given me a recording to listen to every evening which is helpful too.

[closephine85]

Sorry you're having a low week Anna - and don't apologise! That is what we are here for :)

This is going to sound like on of those annoying 'we were like that and we got pregnant' stories, but... The month I fell pregnant with ds I had lost all track of ovulation. I never saw a positive on an opk that month even though I was using them religiously. I thought we were totally out and I was really frustrated that I had missed it somehow and then guess what? That's the month I got my positive... so you never know :) the clomid could also be making your cycle longer couldn't it? Day 10 is quite early to ovulate, so it could still be a positive thing and perhaps it will happen in a day or so?

[silkyoreilly]

Thanks Annabellaboo and Rose! Yes, it's hard, isn't it? I'm not using opks at all, just trying to leave it to fate but if my af arrives on Tuesday, it's clearly a strategy that's not working. I've heard some heartening stories. The dr who did my ultrasound told me that he knew a couple who were trying for their 2nd for a couple of years and then conceived naturally just before being due to start IVF. He said that once you've had one baby, you're more than likely still fertile and will conceive, it can just take time.

[Annabellaboo]

Hello ladies. Thanks for all the support. I have a cold and I think that is also dragging me down. That's interesting to know Closephine about when you conceived your DS, just shows you never know. However this is my 2nd cycle off clomid and yes it did lengthen my cycles a little when on it, but I have since gone back to my 25 days and ovulating early. Even on clomid I still ovulated about the same time. I don't always use the opks, but when I do I have usually get a positive. Wish I hadn't used them now this month!
Saw my reiki healer today and I just burst into tears! Poor lady, she should charge me double! She is so lovely though and really good to talk to so I couldn't help but express my sadness. The treatment helped calm me down but I am still a little blue.
Looking forward to a lazy Saturday night watching trashy tv- I am so rock n roll!

[closephine85]

Sorry to hear you're still down Anna :( you're not out until you're out as they say, it is still possible you either missed it or it will happen yet. Fingers crossed. I will be joining you on the sofa - Ant & Dec's Satirday night takeaway for me! Not a fan of the silly hypnotism programme though so will probably end up watching orange is the new black on Netflix. DH and I are a bit addicted, seem to watch at least 2 episodes a night at the moment!

[Annabellaboo]

Hi ladies. I hope you have all had a good weekend. I am feeling a little calmer the last couple days. I am still waiting for me AMH results, getting impatient now. I have been recommend a local homeopath and I am going to give it a go. I have never used homeopathy before but I am curious, and after doing some research I think it's interesting and worth exploring. I will try anything at this point!

[Annabellaboo]

....pressed 'post' too early by accident.
Interestingly it seems I am ovulating late this month! Really surprised me. I did one last opk last night thinking it was a waste of time and I got a clear positive and again this morn and some ovulation symptons. So me and DH will be getting busy when I get back from work later! No idea why I'm late this month, just hope my luethal phase will be long enough. Closephine did you mention you use progesterone cream? I ordered some last night out of desperation knowing I am ovulating late but have short cycles. Thought it might be a good idea to start using it but I am but sure.
How's the 2ww Closephine? When is AF due?

[Wistfulthinking]

Hi, this thread has developed a lot since the original post and I haven't read it fully. I just thought I would quickly post my experience of secondary infertility as we have successfully had DD2. DH and I had all the tests and despite slightly high poor morphology sperm we were told there was no reason we shouldn't have another baby. After 3 years of tests and actively/obsessively trying and trying every vitamin, mineral and complementary therapy that could possibly help, we went to a clinic and were tested for high NK (killer) cells which can cause recurrent miscarriage and failure to implant post-fertilisation.

DH and I were found to have immune issues which triggered the high NK cells and my miscarriages and failure to conceive. We went down the medicated IVF route eventually and my protocol included intralipids, prednisone, oestrogen, progesterone and clexane blood thinning injections up to three months. We were successful with the second FET from one round of IVF, although I had a challenging / higher risk pregnancy. I also went gluten free (thought to increase the immune response if you are sensitive to it), high protein (to improve egg quality), beetroot daily (natural anti-inflammatory) and I had acupuncture too. If you are interested in learning more there is prednisone fertility issues thread that runs on Mumsnet and I found the book "Is my body baby friendly?" by Dr Beer very informative about reproductive immunology. This diagnosis and treatment was not available via NHS unfortunately and we went private.

My most frustrating aspect was being told there was nothing wrong, when I absolutely knew there was...

I wish you all the best of luck.

[closephine85]

Hi ladies

Wistful - thanks for sharing your story. That sounds like a long and difficult journey but I'm glad you had success in the end. I'm willing to try most things but I really can't stand beetroot :( may have the draw the line at them at one.

Anna - yay glad that ovulation showed up for you! Did they say how long it would take for your AMH results? I think mine took about 3 weeks if I remember rightly. I am on 7dpo so will test next Monday. I use progesterone pessaries that were prescribed after I had a suspected chemical pregnancy in November and mentioned the spotting I have prior to AF each month. The progesterone has totally eliminated the spotting but I don't really know if it was an issue or not. I don't think there is any harm in trying though. I was going to order the cream if he hadn't prescribed these. The pessaries delay AF until you stop using it so I test 14dpo and if (when) negative, I stop using them.

Thankfully I'm super busy at the moment so not too much time to symptom spot, but I did get 'twinges' in the bottom of my tummy on Friday. So cue the crazy at the end of the week no doubt! I've had such high hopes for this month with it being my first month post laparoscopy I'm really scared of the fall!

[Annabellaboo]

Thanks wistfulthinking for sharing. Glad after such an ordeal you have a happy ending. I will look into the book etc you mentioned. I am always continuing to load myself on any information I can get my hands on. Never imagined I would get so fixated, but then I never imagined I would ever be in this position.
Closephine- Oooh yes that is going to be hard not to get your hopes up this month! The twinges are promising if you don't usually get them. I annoyingly often get them so get all excited only to fall. Really keeping my fingers and toes crossed for you. Glad you are busy at least that helps minimise the crazy!
I have had reached out to a lady who is in the same situation as me and lives locally. We know each other but mostly just through mutual friends. She was really happy to hear from me as she has been trying for number 2 for 3 1/2 years with no luck. We are going to meet up soon so we can support each other. Really comforting I have found someone who I will be able to really confide in and share war stories!
Thanks for the tip on the progesterone cream, I think I will give it a go and see if it helps at all. I also sometimes get spotting before my period so could be worth trying for me.

[closephine85]

It's nice when you find someone to talk to in real life Anna, glad you have found someone. I find it validates what I'm going through somehow when I talk to people going through the same thing and it's nice to feel like I'm not alone. I have made two new friends who are in the same situation and i can turn to them when I have meltdowns and no one else would understand. Let me know how you get on with the progesterone cream - from what I've read it 'balances' your hormones, so can't see it doing any harm.

I do get the twinges sometimes (usually on the months I convince myself I'm pregnant!). The last few days I've been having weird cramps in my right ovary that one is new. It's almost like ovulation pains and I almost convinced myself I'm ovulating again somehow (is that even possible!?) too knackered to DTD though after marathon week last week so just going to have to ignore it and put it down to unexplained weirdness that my body likes to mess with my head with.

[closephine85]

Lol that last sentence really doesn't read very well! Hope you get what I meant 😀

[Annabellaboo]

Hi closephine, really keeping my fingers crossed for you this month, Lord knows you deserve it! I hate the body teases, can be torture. I also get huffy when I read so many women saying they 'just knew' they were pregnant. Yeah I have thought that many times in the last 2 years, been totally convinced and always leading to disappointment. But there is always hope and we must keep believing.
Good news is my AMH levels came back normal. 17.9 was my number, supposedly average and normal for my age. Relived, but still no idea why I can't get pregnant.
I have my appointment with the consultant on Tuesday, fingers crossed I can argue my case for a laparoscopy. Nervous I won't quality for that test.

[Rose8282]

Soo know what you're saying about being convinced you're pregnant, when you're not! Argh. I had it bad the last two months. But yes it's true we do keep believing, and I suppose that's a good thing, otherwise we would probably give up altogether and never have sex!

That's fab your AMH levels are normal, Anna, you must be so relieved. I don't really know much about the AMH, but it all sounds good,

Closephine, also really really really hoping for you.
I've been quite strict about sex only every 2 days this month, and to be honest it has made it all feel a bit less stressful. At the same time, I've been feeling quite stressed with work, and an extremely moody 3 year old girl (I think it's a girl thing), so not feeling like this is the optimum month to get pregnant.

[closephine85]

Good news about your AMH Anna. Did you get your FSH tested at the same time?

DH and I had our monthly row about him helping me more about the house. We have it every month about 4 days before AF arrives and I always take it as a sign it's on it's way. I know that sounds stupid! I also know that it could be down to the stress of the 2ww rather than AF hormones but I feel like I'm out :( not sure when to test. AF is due Monday and I have a first response test, which in theory should be pretty accurate from a few days before. I don't know whether to hold out or test early. Trouble with testing early is that I will still hold onto the hope it could be a false negative.

[closephine85]

Oh no ladies, the crazy has taken hold. Just tested... 10dpo in the evening and totally negative. Of course the thoughts of it's too early... Could still be... Have started. Gah! What an idiot!! I've been having little cramps on and off for the last couple of days, just like I had when I was pregnant with ds. If I am not pregnant (which lets face it, is the most likely outcome in this scenario) then my body is playing cruel cruel jokes on me right now :(

[closephine85]

(Oh and of course I used an Internet cheapie, so even more reason to allow myself to doubt the test)

[Rose8282]

Argh I had that last month, it's so horrid! 10dpo is quite early though. Oh, I'm so not looking forward to the 2ww. I've been feeling weirdly calm this month, but I'm sure that I go to pot soon. (I think the bit where you're actively trying in the middle of your cycle is the easiest).

Fingers crossed Closephine, stay sane and keep us posted! Chocolate tonight?