Any success stories and ideas for secondary infertility?

[Annabellaboo]

Hello ladies.
I am hoping to get some ideas and support on here.
I am 35 years old, very healthy with a 3 year DS. We have been trying to conceive our second child for 2 years now. I became pregnant very easily with my first and had an easy pregnancy.
This time nothing.
I have had all the tests the nhs provides. Progesterone normal, I ovulate, DH sperm count is normal, no blockages etc etc. I have tried charting, ov sticks, changed my already pretty healthy diet (cut out refined sugars and have lots more greens etc, and alkalised my body). I take advised supplements and have even tried acupuncture.
I do however have short cycles, sometimes as short as 21 days but averaging 24. This is a little shorter than I had before my DS.
We cannot afford IVF and I am not sure I can face that anyway.
My consultant last month has prescribed me a half dose (25mg) of clomid, which a scan showed on the first round it definitely boosted things even more with a good few mature follicles. I already ovulate but she thought as my cycles are quite short and a little irregular it may give me a boost.
I have been convinced several times I was pregnant (oh how cruel our bodies and brains can be!) but AF always turns up.
I guess what I am asking is does anyone have any other suggestions of things I could try or why I can't conceive time. I am open to theories and alternative methods.
Any experience in this subject and success stories please share.
I try not to stress about it all, but some months it just really gets you down as there is no real 'reason'. The hard thing is watching other mums around get pregnant multiple times so easily.
Thank you for listening!
Anna

Congratulations Rose! That's amazing news :) very happy for you! Will they give you hcg blood tests/early scan etc?!

Bloop - try not to worry (easier said than done I know!) I had a big bleed at 6.5 weeks into my pregnancy and all turned out fine. Have you had any more spotting?

Sorry I've been MIA for a while. Been feeling pretty negative about everything and not quite feeling the positive vibe. I don't want to bring you guys down with my negativity so trying to not comment too much. I also don't really feel like I have much to say anymore. We have exhausted all possible natural routes. There is nothing new to try until IVF in January now so really I need to try and put all this to the back of my mind until then.

Hi ladies, Closephine I'm sorry to hear you've been feeling so down, I had noticed you'd been very quiet on here lately, I'm crossing everything for you for your IVF in January, I really hope it will mark the end of this ridiculously difficult and painful journey.

Bloop how are you doing? Has the spotting settled at all?

Hippy- we had been trying for almost 2 years, 20 months I think to be exact, and this was our first round of IUI, so I know just how hugely lucky I am that it has worked first time, with what were pretty rubbish odds. Yes closephine- we get an early scan at about 8 weeks with the IUI (feel like I totally need to get my money's worth after spending so damn much)

closephine so sorry you're feeling down. It must be hard having to wait, and feel like you're not doing anything...productive. Emma Cannon (sorry to bang on about her) talks about fmdoing a plan over 3 months prior to ivf, to help make the best fertile ground. I think that's in The Baby Making Bible. Also, did you know that ivf has been shown to increase your chances of success when having ivf? I know it's another expense on top of a very big expense, but thought I'd mention it...

Rose thanks for that!! And I'm so happy for you that IUI worked!! How much did it cost, if you don't mind me asking...

I've slightly fallen off my healthy bandwagon. I'm still meditating every day, but i started drinking coffee again over half term. God, I've found that harder to give up than alcohol!! And I had a few drinks over half term. The irony is, last month I was so good, and our actual chances of conception were so slim because of our bad timing, but this month we got the timing right, which I think has been one of our problems, because of my erratic cycles, and here I am drinking coffee, beer, eating pizza!! I tell myself it's a balance between being healthy, and being relaxed, but... somebody please slap me and tell me to look after myself!
Anyway - I hope you're all doing ok! Dragon yay, happy to have a cycle buddy! We can try to keep each other sane!! Anna, Kitten are you ok?

Sorry - I meant to say bloop, any update? I hope things have settled... thinking if you! X

Hello. Sorry for absence. I had an early scan at epu on Tuesday where I saw a 6week blob and heartbeat. It reassured me for all of 15 minutes. I've had some yellow/beige spotting that everyone tells me is normal. It's back today with mild cramping so I'm freaking out a bit. Midwife said there was a small implantation bleed on the scan so to expect some spotting but that doesn't really reassure me.

Oh bless you, bloop- that's really good and reassuring about the heartbeat though, but I know must be so hard to relax and I hope the spotting stops soon. How early was your previous miscarriage if you don't mind me asking?

Hippy- our IUI was £750 and the drugs about 250 so a grand . We also had to pay half of that for our previous abandoned cycle when I hyperstimulated.

I was 5weeks Rose.
The spotting is a kind of peach colour and although a tiny amount was a bit jelly like. I have cramping too like af so I'm terrified :( I'm not sure what to do.

Sorry you are going through this bloop, let's hope it's just the implantation bleed that is causing the cramps. The uterus expanding is also often a cause of cramps. Keep us posted. I can only imagine how scared you must be, especially as you MC before, but the odds are in your favour remember that.

rose -congratulations, it's lovely to hear of a bfp on this board. bloop - hope you're doing okay.
Hi hippy - don't beat yourself up too much about the coffee etc -sometimes I think trying to be too good with diet etc can be all consuming and it does you good to enjoy yourself
closephine - hope you are okay, it's not that long til January so you can enjoy Christmas then January will be here before you know it.
As for me, I've hit rock bottom. The scan was apparently normal so that's it really, nothing left to try, no more ways to help. I've had every kind of baby bomb I could have and it's finally reached that point that everyone I know who wanted a baby has either had one or is pregnant. There will obviously be further baby bombs all around but I've already had the worst possible ones. I've stopped my anti depressants- they weren't helping - and have been referred for counselling - i suppose it's like a bereavement really - mourning the fact that I wasn't able to have a second child. I will probably still pop in from time to time to see how you're all doing and I wish you all your bfps- you truly deserve them, but for me it's time to give up now, however I'm supposed to do that.

kittenpie- sorry you feel you have reached rock bottom. Remind me again how long you have been trying and what you have done to try and help your chances? There is always hope, and I don't believe there is no reason, there is but we just don't know what. I do understand your need to move on however and I am sure counselling will help you with this. I have managed this in my own way. When I was seeing a homeopath she was like a therapist to me and also at times my reiki healer. I have learned to let go of so much and I promise you it is possible. I am still hopeful and trying but I am happier and have accepted my situation now and the realty that I may never have that much wanted no.2 child. Truthfully I couldn't continue in the constant turmoil and pain so when I got help and saw a little more clearly the pain lessened and I am able to be so much more grateful for what I do have. I still have wobbles but they are less crippling than they were.

annabel - thank you for your kind words. That sounds exactly how I need to be - I have wondered about reiki. I need to reach some kind of way of dealing with it better too. When I look back over this year it frightens me how obsessed I've been and how I've distanced myself from a lot of friends because of it. We've been ttc just under 2 and a half years, have tried every vitamin going, reflexology, acupuncture - both of whom couldn't understand my infertility, blood tests fine, thyroid test fine, ultrasound fine, like you say it obviously isn't okay but the tests haven't spotted anything. GP refuses to do anything else as I have DS. My DS started school in September and that has been a whole new level of hell with him being the only only child in his class and just to rub it in both his teachers are pregnant. Sorry for the moan

kitten - i'm so sorry that you've been so low. I think that's what I find doubly hard, not only the infertility, but the fact that it takes over your waking thoughts - and sleeping!! I dreamed I had a positive test yesterday, so painful. That's why I've been trying to focus on appreciating what I DO have now. The fact that I have such an amazing relationship with my son, that my husband and I have such a good relationship. Trying to get the most out of work. Even hobbies like sewing, knitting, drawing. I try and focus on the fact that our DS will have a more financially comfortable life, we'll be able to better afford college etc... and I feel that I have almost got to the point where I can see positives to either way. I've started writing down all the good things in my life after my period has started, and doing mindfulness every day, helps me be less obsessing and more accepting... I hope this doesn't sound too preachy, just trying to say what helps me... so sorry for you though, and hugs to you! I'm trying to think less about 'giving up', but maybe about giving up all the obsession...?!? Easier said than done!!

bloop any more news?

Hi all
bloop great news about the heart beat! I hope the spotting stops soon so you can enjoy your pregnancy.
rose have you had your scan yet? I hour everything goes well
kitten I'm sorry you are feeling blue.
For me i keep going back and forth. As hippy said sometimes thinking maybe it's good either way?Just today my DH was saying how he doesn't belive our DD is any less happy because she is an only child ... which to a large extent i agree and after 2 years and 6 months of trying i wonder if we should try... One thing that keeps getting me weary is the 5 + year gap the kids will have...

at the moment IVF does seem like the only option for me to really work.. and realistically even that is a 20 maybe 30% chance?
As annabel said one thing i have been able to do is not obsess - when i was ttc first time around i was a complete mess during the 2 years we were trying with total melt downs with every AF.... This time it still hurts deep inside that i failed again but i am able to focus on other great things i have including the sweet little DD

On my news I got the clear blue monitor and on kelp. started acupuncture again and taking Chinese herbal medicine prepping my body for potential ivf in Jan as well... haven't made up my mind but need to decide within the next couple of weeks...
Thankfully no waiting list in the clinic.
If i do go in jan kitten we can be buddies and support one another!

Hi everyone! How are you doing? bloop how are you doing? kitten how are you doing? Are you feeling any better?

dragon as my cycle buddy, you must be due any day now too...? I'm due on Thursday or Friday, but I'm quite distracted as I'm not well, and feeling s**t!! Both me and ds have it, and so we' e just curled up on the sofa to watch Home Alone!

I'm not feeling hopeful this month, as my temp has dropped below the cover line yesterday and today, so I'm pretty sure that means I'm out. I'm trying to be philosophical, and feeling so crap is very distracting, as I said. In my meditation yesterday, at the beginning it was talking about wanting something turning into an obsession, and how to use mindfulness to try and stay grounded, and it actually got me through yesterday, when I would normally be analysing every little twinge. Whenever I thought "ooh, maybe that's a sign!", I took a breath, and tried to just focus on my breathing, and my feet on the floor, and it would pass. Anyway, that's my news. I hope you're all ok, it's gone very quiet here...

Hello all. So far still hanging in there. Have had quite a few minimal symptoms day which = shitting myself. While scan was reassuring for a day last week, by the end of the week I was back to panicking, especially as I've had more days with no symptoms other than queasiness which could be due to not eating enough :-/

kitten sorry you're feeling so low. I totally get how depressing it is when they say everything looks normal, it's almost easier to hear we've found a problem. Hang in there !

hey hippybird boo to temp drops. I gave up on temping in the summer as my sleep is so bad I couldn't get three unbroken hours.

Hi ladies, how's everyone doing??
So I have major updates. I made an out of the blue decision to continue with investigations at Serum clinic. After a few emails and info I decided to book a trip to come for further testing. So here I am on night 2 in Athens with more insight into my infertility than all the tests with the NHS over the last 2 or so years. Penny is lovely and makes me feel at ease and like I'm in good hands. She actually thinks my DH's sperm forms are low, despite NHS saying they are fine (5%). An aquascan revealed a large polyps on the canal of my cervix and one in my cervix. Also, she thinks my luethal phase is definitely too short. I am booked in at the hospital first thing in the morn for a hysteroscopy to remove the polyps and make some scratches to help with implantation chances. I am due to fly back tomorrow night so hopefully it won't be too traumatic on my body (I don't do well with anaesthetic). I am very glad I made this snap decision to come and maybe have some answers. I am also frustrated that none of this was picked up with the NHS. I really don't understand. With all the tests and the laparoscopy I had how did it take a trip here to discover these fairly basic things?!
My 'unexplained' label is maybe explainable after all. Any 1 of these issues could be enough to prevent pregnancy. Penny is going to come up with a medication and treatment plan for me and DH and she believes we should then be able to conceive naturally (fingers crossed). Trying not to get my hopes up but at least I feel I'm in good hands and now have some answers.
It's costing me a fair bit but not nearly as much as ivf and hopefully it will be enough.....

Hi all. Was going to apologise for not being around recently but realise many of you have been quite quiet!
annabel thanks for sharing your story. Wow may have been tough but am so happy that things seem to be moving along. I think i might do the same but here at home. so am planning to call the ivf clinic this week to set up appointment and get texts dimone etc with hopes of trying for a ivf cycle say feb or so... am preparing my body now with acupuncture and herbal medicine for now.

hippy i hope you had better luck in terms of not having af ruining your day.

bloop and rose i hope all is well with you guys xx

annabellaboo that's great news. Fingers crossed it all works out for you soon :) I've heard great things about serum.

I wondered if everyone had abandoned this thread just yesterday when no one had posted to it in ages. Felt like a thread killer :(

Thanks bloop and littledragon. Yes it's funny how quiet it's gone. I guess there are a lot of us just in limbo and sometimes there seems nothing more to say.
Bloop- how's the pg going?? I hope you are starting to feel a little more relaxed and less worried?
Rose- how's it going for you???
Closephine- you still there? Serum is great you will be in good hands here when you come in January.
I had the hysteroscopy this morning. Luckily not feeling too bad from the anaesthetic this time, they listened to me and went easy on the dose. I am waiting now to see Penny again but the surgeon told me they found a lot of scar tissue ane adhesions in my uterus, plus a blocked tube. Again, can't believe this hasn't been picked up before??
If was very painful when I woke but the painkillers they gave me worked a treat! Hope the pain doesn't come back too bad for my flight home tonight.

Wow Anna, good for you for being so proactive! That's also really reassuring to hear about your experiences of Serum. If you happen to be out there again towards the end of January let me know! How did your flight back go? I hope it was ok and you're not in too much pain. We have had our telephone consultation with Penny and a few emails back and forth and she seems lovely. We are still aiming for January but have to get our heads round the idea that donor sperm may turn out to be our only option.

Sorry I have been quiet. I am still lurking. This sounds awful to admit... as much as I really am genuinely pleased for everyone who has had recent successes, I am a bit jealous. It's been quite hard to watch the two other ladies who have had iui have success when we have had 4 failed rounds (Rose and Jenny please don't feel guilty if you're reading this!). I am doing a pretty good job of concealing my feelings in real life at the moment, I think I just need somewhere to vent them on here. Like I say, everyone who has had success deserves it after what we've all been through and I truly wish you all happy healthy pregnancies, I just can't control the geeen eyed monster inside me :(

Hi ladies- , closephine I really do understand, having been through these exact emotions (as you know!) when my closest friends get pregnant over and over again! The reason this group has been so therapeutic is that we've all been able to be really honest about our feelings and so it's really important and nice that you can still be honest. And having seen so many people flaunt their new pregnancies (that's probably unfair but it certainly felt like that to me at the time!) I'm so aware now of how others may feel about my own pregnancy. I'm praying that you have success in January! So glad to hear that everything is on track and booked.

Anna- wow what progress! That sounds very promising and encouraging. I hope you're recovering after your op and the journey home wasn't too much of an ordeal - is the plan to go back at some point or just leave it for now and try naturally? It's funny I have a feeling I had some kind of cervical lesion too, well that's my personal thinking as to why the IUI worked. The specialists honestly seem to know very little about the whole thing and so you end up forming your own conclusions.

Bloop- hope everything is progressing well with you and your spotting has settled down. You must be quite far along now.

Thinking of you all ladies, I think I first joined this group almost a year ago and it honestly been such a godsend. Praying (though not religiously!) and crossing my fingers for all of you in the coming months xxx

Morning ladies. Thanks closephine & rose, good to hear from you both. Got back fine and the pain is barely there which is so surprising considering how much they had to clean up in the end. Penny showed me the video of my op (a movie of the inside of my uterus wasn't something I ever imagined to be viewing!) even I could see what a disaster it was in there. It was impossible to see anything as it looked like cotton wool everywhere. Penny said they were actually shocked and the surgery took over and hour instead of 20 mins! They removed the dead tissue and adhesions that were also over a tube so that was totally blocked and sucked it all out (sorry tmi), as well as removing the polyps. God knows how my poor uterus got like this?!! Even Penny has no idea. She said there was no way an embryo could find anywhere to implant so I who'd probably never have got pregnant if I hadn't had this. She is totally convinced I will convince naturally now. Fingers crossed this is the full problem. So glad I did this. I still don't understand how none of this was ever picked up on before?? Penny said a hysteroscopy is the only way to fully see into the uterus. I also have a ton of medication to take. Antibiotics, a mild steroid suppressant incase of any immune issues, an anti inflammatory drug to prevent regrowth of tissue, pregesterone and supplements for DH sperm. I am just going to do as I'm told and take the lot without worrying about it. I trust penny and I know she is taking a mild drug approach on me whilst stil trying to cover all bases.
And yes Penny believes things should happen now naturally so will give it a few months before considering further treatment or IVF.

Close- I totally know how you feel and it is totally understandable. I too have felt it with the successes on here. I am genuinely super excited and pleased for everyone but then I keep thinking when's my turn? I started this forum and I am behind! Ha silly I know but as you know sometimes these thoughts just take over.
Rose- you could be right about some sort of growth blocking a passage. For me there was nowhere to implant so wouldn't have made any difference. IUI or IVF would have been a waste of money.

Hi all! Annabelle - good for you!! You had an instinct something wasn't right, and now you have the answers you needed. I really hope this is the start of a more positive journey for you now!

How is everyone else? bloop, rose, dragon, kitten, everyone else I've forgotten (sorry!)

I know I've been very absent. To be honest, I'm just struggling to stay very positive about ttc now. In fact I'm pretty close to just letting the whole thing go. My DH needs to get his sperm checked before we can get any further investigations, but he just won't do it. Says he's too busy. And my doc says I won't be able to have any further investigations after I'm 40 on the NHS, and my 40th bday is March 5th. So we're out really. I'm not sure how much my dh really wants another one. I think he feels that we're finally a bit on track financially, work is progressing, etc, and in some ways I agree with him, but my maternal urge is just so strong. But I do believe we can both have a happy life if we stick with one. I don't believe it's a bad option, just that I would have liked to have had a larger family, if I could have chosen.

We're pretty much out this month anyway, had sex too soon, then ovulated later than expected, so it ended up being 5 days before ovulation, which I know is technically possible, but the odds are much less. On 5dpo, and at least the 2ww won't be as bad as normal. I'm really fed up today too, as I've woken up with a temperature (37.9) and not feeling great at all, but I'll have to struggle in, as I was off sick a couple of weeks ago, and I can't take more time off work.

Sorry to sound so negative, I don't want to spread all my negativity. Thanks for reading/listening!

Hi hippy, thanks for the supportive words. Sorry you are struggling. I totally understand. Your positivity has been amazing and you should never apologise for having negative thoughts. Sadly it's unavoidable at times no matter how hard we try. I am also sorry your husband won't do his part. They must be v frustrating and does sound like perhaps he doesn't want another nearly as much as you. Please feel free to vent here anytime. Miracles are always possible but acceptance is also important too I am learning. I am glad I have taken action and gone to serum for further investigations. Although of course I am hopeful and Penny believes I will now conceive naturally, I am still skeptical. I think after years of trying many things it's hard to believe this could actually be the key. But it could be so we will see. I feel this is my last route however. I will take the meds prescribed and trust the medical approach this time. If it doesn't work then I may have to accept my body just doesn't want to produce another child.
Here's a make me feel like s**t story for you ladies... I had an annoying birthday party situation where mums were talking about age gaps etc and my friend who knows about my situation (and has 4 unplanned children-wtf!) proceeded to inform me of her future plans to become a surrogate as she gives birth to beautiful healthy babies and her body likes being pregnant. Really?? Are you F'ing kidding me??!! To be fair she really wasn't trying to be insensitive I could tell, but wow how some people just have no clue at all. It actually hurt me and I wanted to run away but instead I said what a wonderful thing to do for other women. It is but how much I really didn't need to hear that she will never know.