Any success stories and ideas for secondary infertility?

[Annabellaboo]

Hello ladies.
I am hoping to get some ideas and support on here.
I am 35 years old, very healthy with a 3 year DS. We have been trying to conceive our second child for 2 years now. I became pregnant very easily with my first and had an easy pregnancy.
This time nothing.
I have had all the tests the nhs provides. Progesterone normal, I ovulate, DH sperm count is normal, no blockages etc etc. I have tried charting, ov sticks, changed my already pretty healthy diet (cut out refined sugars and have lots more greens etc, and alkalised my body). I take advised supplements and have even tried acupuncture.
I do however have short cycles, sometimes as short as 21 days but averaging 24. This is a little shorter than I had before my DS.
We cannot afford IVF and I am not sure I can face that anyway.
My consultant last month has prescribed me a half dose (25mg) of clomid, which a scan showed on the first round it definitely boosted things even more with a good few mature follicles. I already ovulate but she thought as my cycles are quite short and a little irregular it may give me a boost.
I have been convinced several times I was pregnant (oh how cruel our bodies and brains can be!) but AF always turns up.
I guess what I am asking is does anyone have any other suggestions of things I could try or why I can't conceive time. I am open to theories and alternative methods.
Any experience in this subject and success stories please share.
I try not to stress about it all, but some months it just really gets you down as there is no real 'reason'. The hard thing is watching other mums around get pregnant multiple times so easily.
Thank you for listening!
Anna

Hi everyone, hope you are all doing okay.
hippy - thank you for asking about me. I'm sorry to hear you're feeling down. It does hit you sometimes doesn't it? I've found you to be such a positive person on this thread and you always find good things to say so I wish I could make you feel better now. I'm going through similar thoughts at the moment, feel like we've come to the end of the road. That's the good thing about this thread that we can say how we're feeling here and support each other.
annabel - well done you for following your instincts and going to serum. I really hope for you that that will have sorted everything out and you're heading for your bfp. I must admit though, as well as being delighted for you your update scared me too. Throughout my secondary infertility I've always had a little voice saying that it might happen eventually as we conceived ds so things must be okay despite the 2 and a half years of infertility but now I realise that even though the nhs tests have said things are okay they might not be at all. I think you have every reason to feel positive that you've had that operation and everything has been sorted

Just a quick update from me - as I tend to go on and on. I'm really, really struggling with my infertility at the moment. I think it's the time of year, 2 years ago I was disappointed I wasn't pregnant by Xmas, last year I was in disbelief and this year? I can't even express how devastated I am. I've just had an operation, unrelated to ttc and am still recovering, af was a couple of days late and I was beside myself with excitement when I came back from having had the operation thinking I was going to get a bfp the day after then af appeared. Why do I do it to myself every single month? I cannot stop myself from thinking maybe this is the month every single time and it is so cruel, I test like a mad thing and imagine lines and drive myself mad. I just can't help it

Sorry I haven't been back on to post for so long! We've had a busy few weeks doing our third fresh ivf (abroad)! Huge congratulations to the ladies who have got their bfps - I hope you're enjoying happy and healthy pregnancies.

So sorry there hasn't been more luck for the rest of us. This journey totally sucks. I was thinking to myself this morning, 'i have had three years of waking up every single day worried and anxious and sad and not content'. That is 1095 days!! What a sad waste of life. Don't get me wrong, I know I am lucky in lots of ways. We have a gorgeous home, my dh is (mostly!) a really great hubby, and are obviously so unbelievably lucky to have our dd. I just never imagined in a million years this would be my life - Three years of infertility, 3 failed Ivf's and possibly a 4th!

We'll find out in a few days whether this one worked (I'm thinking it didn't as I feel EXACTLY like I did on the previous 3 failed transfers), but I suppose you never know. We were very lucky this time and have 3 frozen blastocysts in the Czech Republic, so potentially more tries (if they defrost!!) before another fresh cycle. I have a hysteroscopy booked in the middle of January, and I'm thinking of doing the Greek hidden injections test too. I don't want to waste anymore embryos on a useless womb! I actually suggested to my mum the other day (she's had three children) that her womb would probably be a better bet for those last frozen embryos than mine!

Anyway, enough about me! Though one last thing - we had a really great experience at our clinic abroad! A lovely week's holiday and really great care. We won't hesitate to go back, so for you ladies going abroad for treatment as your next step, I'm sure you will find it all brilliant.

Best of luck to everyone xx

Sorry for slow response. Kittenpie- sorry you are struggling right now. I agree Christmas is particularly hard as we look back in how many have past and still no baby no.2. Hugs to you. Is it an option for you to have further investigations with serum? I never accepted the unexplained label and this is one of the reasons I was driven to continue my own investigations. I do feel a lot more calm and that I have some answers now thanks to the findings with serum.
Lat- any update on this latest round? You really really deserve a bfp after all you have been through. I honestly don't know how you have been so strong to keep going. I can't seem to bring myself around to trying 1 round of ivf, partly because I don't know how I would cope with the disappointment if not successful. If it hasn't been successful I would also recommend you do the Greek hidden infections test. Although I didn't have one apparently it's quite common some women to have something they had no idea about.
How's everyone else doing?
Hope all the pregnancies are going well still.
Bloop all ok still?

Hello Annabellaboo - all ok so far I think. There's so little to go on. Sickness dying down now which brings a whole host of new worries. I don't get my 12w scan until after Xmas when I'm nearer 14 weeks :(

Don't give up ladies! I know how difficult it gets as each year passes but you will get your chance. Much love :)

Hi there
I hope you don't mind my joining this thread so late! It's so lovely to find one where women sound like they're in the same 'unexplained' situation as me - no one else (not even my DH) seems to completely understand.
My background is that I'm 33 (34 tomorrow!) and we've been TTC our second child for a year now. Our DD is 3 in Feb. We live in New Zealand and have had all the usual tests - FSH is good, AMH is on low side (4.1), HSG was clear and DH's tests came back great. No lap because I don't have any endo symptoms. Like some of you have mentioned, my cycle is also shorter than before our DD was born. I generally ovulate around day 15/16 and have a 26 day or so cycle - so my luteal phase is on the shorter side. I've been going to acupuncture since July and have just finished my first cycle of clomiphene (50mg) - AF arrived this morning . With the Christmas holidays, my fertility specialist isn't able to monitor me on clomiphene this month (her preference) but I've got a prescription for 75mg that I'm thinking of using anyway (I think she'd rather I didn't but I'm waiting to hear back). I think that probably sounds a bit crazy but I'm starting to feel desperate and can't bear the thought of a cycle going by without trying something else!!
Anyway, I hope that wasn't too much of an essay! I'd love to be part of this group as we all try to get that elusive BFP xx

Thanks Annabellaboo. We have actually got a bfp from this round! After a chemical pregnancy from our frozen transfer back in April, I am very very cautious (I'm actually annoying myself with how negative I'm being), but hopefully we'll get some good news from our follow up blood test next week. I also don't just accept the 'unexplained' diagnosis either - I think there must be very few people who just can't conceive for NO apparent reason. I think the nhs (as great as they can be!) tend to fob you off, especially when you already have a child. During our latest ivf cycle abroad, dh's sperm morphology was really poor and we had a treatment called Picsi (the next step to Icsi) - on our previous cycles here we've never even used Icsi, only normal ivf!? I think you are often treated just a number over here, rather than an individual. I really hope your treatment so far with serum is enough for you, and you get that lovely bfp before long! Wishing you lots of luck.
Kiwi, I'm really sorry you are also struggling. My dh for a long time thought that if I just 'chilled out' then I'd get pregnant (after three failed Ivf's he doesn't think this anymore!) - I think men just don't have the same feelings/ emotions about it that we do at all. They don't understand that, as a woman, the one thing you feel you should be able to do is conceive, and when you just can't, it's beyond heartbreaking. I really hope you have some good luck soon! Xx

Hello all, jumping on this thread as just found out DH has low sperm count. Have posted elsewhere too so hope I'm not spamming.
Conceived DS first cycle and now been ttc 10 months. So far all tests on my side look good, so it's not terrible, but still unlikely to conceive naturally as far as I can tell. Just beginning on this road.

10 months ago we were telling ourselves not to ttc until we were really ready as we were obviously super fertile. I always knew secondary infertility was a real thing but still didn't think it would happen to us.

Hello all! Thanks for asking after me! I'm 12+3 and still being sick. The sickness has been horrific and reassuring in equal measures. I have my scan next week so will hopefully relax a bit after that but I'm definitely more at ease than I was in the earliest of days. Thank you all for the support you offered me here- it is by far my favourite thread populated by lovely women on mn

blackcherries I'm sorry to hear about your oh's low sperm count. I've read quite a few success stories where count has been low, so fingers crossed he has at least one determined swimmer.

Bloopbleep best of luck for your scan!

Welcome kiwi and blackcherries. Kiwi- yes it sounds as if your luethal phase is a bit short. You could buy some natural progesterone cream and use it after ovulation if you feel comfortable with that. The consultant I saw now has me on progesterone and I have similar cycles to you. With the point I've reached now (almost 3 years of trying) I would recommend if you are in a position to explore further then do so now. I did everything natural possible and had all the NHS tests possible only to discover after going private and having a hysteroscopy that my uterus was full of dead tissue and adhesions. This may be the answer for me. My point is, don't accept the unexplained label. There is a reason. Maybe try to lengthen your cycles and do all you can to help your body, but also consider further investigations if possible. I cannot recommend serum in Athens enough, they are great.
Black cherries- it does seem a little early days for you but I remember it not feeling that way around 10 months of trying too. Again I would say do everything you can to help your body for pregnancy and your DH's sperm. My consultant at serum put my husband on a supplement called novofertil. I believe you can buy it online. His SC is good but this is an extra boost as the motility isn't great. Look at his diet if he will let you make some changes then make sure he cuts back on caffeine, alcohol and sugar. Vitamin c, e and zinc are also good sperm boosters. Good luck!
Lat- that is so exciting. Progress. I really really hope your bean sticks too like bloops. You really really deserve this to be it! Please keep us posted.
Merry Christmas to all you ladies on here if I don't check in before. We are off on a much awaited family ski trip to the French alps. Hey at least not being pregnant means I can ski! Depsite the Christmas milestone reminder (another one passed and still no baby no.2) I am feeling very grateful and clam this year. I look at the suffering going on in other parts of the world and can't help but count my lucky stars. I hope you all enjoy Christmas with our precious little only children. Hugs to you all xx

Hope all of you had a lovely Christmas. Toddler has been a joy (apart from some MAJOR tantrums). Which is nice but also makes me want another! Crazy!

DH is cutting right back on caffeine (anyone recommend a nice decaff tea? Could do with cutting down myself - don't like the Clipper ones though). His diet is otherwise pretty good but he's on the pre-conception vitamins, will look into Novofertil.

AF is almost here, was sort of hoping my HSG last month would help things but stopped hoping once we had the SA results. Going to see fertility consultant in a few days so will help us get our thoughts together. DH now starting a new job which means more travelling (but also more time at home....) so will still be making ttc a priority.

Hi again😀 Hope you've all had a wonderful Christmas 🎄 It's summer here and we're on holiday at the beach - perfect for relaxing! Annabellaboo, I hope you have a lovely time away skiing, it's always good to look for the silver linings. I'm glad you're feeling grateful and calm about things 😀
Thanks for all your kind words. It definitely takes you by surprise having trouble TTC after having the first one so easily. First time round, I didn't tell anyone we were TTC just in case we had problems but I did this time and I think it's made it more stressful. I.e. the fact people know we must be struggling but not wanting to ask/point our trust fact I'm not pregnant 😕 I seem to have jinxed it!!
Thanks for your suggestions, Annabellaboo. My progesterone levels after my first round of clomid were really good and my specialist's nurse told I don't need any progesterone support. I didn't mention in my first post that I used progesterone pessaries in an unmedicated cycle back in August and it didn't work. All it seemed to do was stop AF and mask the first half of my next cycle I'm definitely conscious of my shorter luteal phase though and will have a look into the natural creams to see if they're likely to work differently.
I'm not sure exactly how fertility treatment works in the UK but in NZ we've had to go straight to a private specialist (the government won't fund fertility treatment in our case until 5+ years of TTC!!). I've asked about having a hysteroscopy and my specialist said she doesn't usually do them in my case but will if we want. If still no bfp after another couple of cycles on clomid, I'll get it done.
I'm doing an unmonitored clomid cycle now but staying on a lower dose (50mg) as my specialist was really nervy about me increasing the dose without monitoring. My side effects don't seem as severe as last time (less hot flashes, fewer zits etc).
I'm also looking at sending a blood sample away to Serum in Athens for immunology testing. There's no clinic that we can find in Australasia that does it but we may as well try and rule out as much as possible.
Wishing you all a wonderful new year xx

Blackcherries my DH cut down on caffeine earlier this year but I suspect he's now gone back to his old ways! He said if you steep the teabag in hot water for 30 seconds, throw out the water and then re-brew the tea, it'll be mostly decaffeinated. Not sure if that's right/perfect but it might help, particularly if your DH isn't so keen on giving up his usual tea?! X

I hope all you ladies had a lovely Xmas. We had a fairly awful one unfortunately- we found out on 23rd, after getting a bfp from our latest round of ivf, that I was having another early miscarriage. So not only can I not actually get pregnant in the first place, but now apparently even when I do I can't actually stay pregnant and have a baby 9 months later! I'm not really sure where to go next - we have frozen embryos left but I am terrified to try them in case there is a physical reason for my body rejecting them. We have even started to discuss the possibility of a surrogate, or donor eggs/embryos, in case the issue is my egg quality. I just want another child, and at the minute I don't really care how that happens, I just need it to!
Sorry for the misery-guts post! I hope you all had a better Xmas, and hope next year brings us all what we're dreaming of! X

lat so sorry to hear that, that's awful. How many rounds have you had?
We really need some good news on here! I'm on a few threads and lots of people seem to be having a terrible time :( Onwards and upwards for 2017...

Thanks Blackcherries. It was our 4th transfer (3 fresh, 1 frozen). We've had 2 bfns and 2 early miscarriages this year. I'm terrified to even try again! I thought ivf would be the magic fix but unfortunately not (or not yet, anyway!).
Hopefully 2017 will be the best year for all of us! ✨ xx

Oh lat, I'm so sorry, that's terrible and especially bad at this time of year 😞 It sounds like you've been through the mill. I really hope we all have a better year next year - 2016 has been a difficult one for so many. Take care of yourself xx

So sorry to hear that lat. I can only imagine how hard that is. I would have every test possible that you haven't had done if i were you. Really hope you have success in 2017. Hugs

Closephine- you there? When do you head to serum? I hope you had a nice Christmas.

How are you doing lat?
How's everyone else? I go through phases of going on the forum all the time, reading everything I can - then other times just leaving it all at arm's length. I always seem to be minorly frustrated with something or other, at the moment it's not knowing timescales as DH needs to book travel, and I also need a smear at some point but GPs don't have suitable appointments.

Hi again 😀
Lat, I really hope you're holding up ok xx
Blackcherries, at the risk of sounding a bit dramatic, right now I feel a sense of desperate panic about TTC 😕 We've been on holiday and I tried to relax and put this all to the back of my mind (which was mostly successful) but we're home now and I suspect AF is on her way again... 😞 I've also gone through phases of researching and reading lots of things. It seems like there's so much that's unknown about infertility that it's pretty difficult to find any concrete answers. I think Annabellaboo's advice to do all the tests possible is good as it proactively helps to rule things out or (hopefully) identify a problem. It also gives us a bit of control over something that is otherwise pretty much out of our control.
I also have a question that might be really silly so please forgive me if it is! In NZ, we only have 2 or 3 fertility clinics (each with a number of offices around the country). These clinics offer services to both government funded (i.e. no/low cost) and private (i.e. 100% paid for by the couple) patients. As far as I'm aware, people in NZ just use these clinics and don't tend to go to other clinics abroad. From what I've read, it seems that people in the U.K. choose to go to clinics both in the U.K. and/or abroad. My question is whether there's any particular reason for this? Is it because the clinics outside of the U.K. are less expensive? Or do the clinics abroad have shorter waiting lists / more cutting edge treatments?? I'm trying to understand if there are different treatment options for me compared to people living in the U.K. Thanks xx

kiwi exactly, we'd only been trying for 9 or 10 months when we decided to go get everything tested. We've forked out for all the usual tests and all looked great except for pretty low sperm count. In a way it's help us decide to get going with IVF asap as I always thought of that as a 'last resort' (and we got pregnant with DS1 very quickly so was sure it'd happen naturally) but it's pretty much the only option with decent odds (as opposed to clomid etc). If it was my first child I would probably be more open to softly-softly approach but we're already way past the age gap I was hoping for so just want to be getting on with it!

Re you other questions, I'm not sure about treatment but I think cost is a huge factor. Here you have to pay about £5k-£7k for IVF (or ICSI etc which is even more expensive) and NHS treatment (i.e. free) is limited and varies greatly depending on where you live and I expect has long waiting lists. (I would never be eligible for NHS treatment as I have a child already). Clinics abroad tend to offer cheaper deals. I live very near to my local clinic and didn't really entertain the idea of hassle of travel etc (with work and a toddler), but Europe isn't too far for us. I imagine the treatment is similar but perhaps if you wanted something specific and you didn't live anywhere near a FC you would consider going abroad. I know many on here do that and say it works out cheaper even with travel/accomm costs!

Hi ladies. I know it's gone quiet here but thought I'd check in for my own sanity. No miracle for me unfortunately. Seems like the laparoscopy and all the tissue that was removed still isn't enough. I know it's only been a couple months but I am feeling doubtful I will ever see that much longed for 2nd line. The worst of it is the progesterone suppositories I have to take after ovulation aremaking me a little crazy I think. All my usual symptoms are heightened, the worst being terrible headaches and feeling really down. Plus DS has started playing with an imaginary brother . Sometimes it's all too much. I think I am closer to accepting it just isn't meant to be for us this time around. Most of the time I am pretty ok and strong, but sometimes I still fall apart. Want this monthly torture to be over for good.
How are you all doing? Hope the lucky ladies here are still having smooth pregnancies.

Hi annabellaboo it's so depressing isn't it? And you can't ever really shake it off. No advice other than to keep trying for as long as you feel. I'm going to be starting ivf drugs soon. Feeling like the whole thing is quite unfair!