Please or to access all these features

Infertility

Our Infertility Support forum is a space to connect with others in the same position, discuss causes, treatment and IVF, and share infertility stories of hope and success.

Any success stories and ideas for secondary infertility?

999 replies

Annabellaboo · 06/01/2016 11:29

Hello ladies.
I am hoping to get some ideas and support on here.
I am 35 years old, very healthy with a 3 year DS. We have been trying to conceive our second child for 2 years now. I became pregnant very easily with my first and had an easy pregnancy.
This time nothing.
I have had all the tests the nhs provides. Progesterone normal, I ovulate, DH sperm count is normal, no blockages etc etc. I have tried charting, ov sticks, changed my already pretty healthy diet (cut out refined sugars and have lots more greens etc, and alkalised my body). I take advised supplements and have even tried acupuncture.
I do however have short cycles, sometimes as short as 21 days but averaging 24. This is a little shorter than I had before my DS.
We cannot afford IVF and I am not sure I can face that anyway.
My consultant last month has prescribed me a half dose (25mg) of clomid, which a scan showed on the first round it definitely boosted things even more with a good few mature follicles. I already ovulate but she thought as my cycles are quite short and a little irregular it may give me a boost.
I have been convinced several times I was pregnant (oh how cruel our bodies and brains can be!) but AF always turns up.
I guess what I am asking is does anyone have any other suggestions of things I could try or why I can't conceive time. I am open to theories and alternative methods.
Any experience in this subject and success stories please share.
I try not to stress about it all, but some months it just really gets you down as there is no real 'reason'. The hard thing is watching other mums around get pregnant multiple times so easily.
Thank you for listening!
Anna

OP posts:
Thread gallery
10
Bloopbleep · 13/09/2016 23:20

Tara - frers are crap. I don't trust them at all. They also measure I think at 25mui so if you're registering + at 10 it'll be a couple of days before it shows on a frer. My fingers are crossed you get your second line again x

Tara04 · 14/09/2016 08:37

Thanks bloop but used a cheapie this morning and not a thing so I'm stopping testing now af due sat and I'm driving myself nuts with Google lol if it's not ment to be it's not ment to be I suppose just that feeling of the second line was amazing if only it had lasted xx

Bloopbleep · 14/09/2016 16:16

Aw I'm sorry Tara :(

Katymac32 · 15/09/2016 21:04

Bloop that's awful! Definitely bleach that - some people have no shame!

I'm sorry Tara that's so awful. It's just cruel giving you hope like that. I had an evaporation line few months back and was so happy only for it to be followed by lots of negatives.

Nothing new here- a girl I know has just had her second (born 18 months apart) and put this STUPID article on Facebook about how she misses her first born now she has two. She actually wrote with a sad face "I miss my boy" argh I was so close to commenting something there!

Had first Ivf appointment just had bloods etc taken get results and a plan next week. Scared they are going to tell me I have 2 ancient eggs left or something!

Hope everyone is well xx

hippybird · 16/09/2016 10:59

Hi all - sorry for silence. Have been in the nice part of my cycle (not 2WW!), and trying not to obsess.

Tara I'm so sorry!! I've never had even an evap either, and I would totally freak and go POAS crazy too!! Now I've been back on the mindfulness, I would say, try to put it out of your mind - even think about trying mindfulness or hypnosis, and schedule a date in your diary for when you're allowed to POAS again. But I know that is easy for me to say!! I hope that's not an annoying thing to say. I can imagine you'll feel pretty obsessed now until AF shows (or not). At least it's just one more day to wait. My fingers are tightly crossed for you!!

Bloop glad you've got your original name back - even though I wasn't even on here when you were using it. But it's a good 'un!! And dried urine - ew!!

Tara how funny you have RA and so does bloop. I was convinced I had it for years, but the docs have tested, and they say I don't. But I guess I get similar symptoms with my myofascial pain/hypermobility. I used to get bed ridden with flu like aches for a week or so at a time, low temp but no other symptoms. Never really got to the bottom of it. I don't get that any more, thank goodness.

My news - as I say, I've been in the lovely follicular phase, so have been feeling good. I've been reading Emma Cannon's Total Fertility, and for a hippybird like me, it is ideal. She talks about good foods to eat for each phase, mindfulness, advice for best way to exercise. Also talks about different "types" and how they respond to TTC, and advice for hpw to cope better. I've found it hugely helpful. I've decided through reading it, I am yin deficient (blood deficient), so I need help building up my lining, and prolonging my cycles. So I've been eating better, and meditating twice a day. I think I've said before, I think stress plays a part for me. I know of at least two cycles where I've had delayed ovulation due to stress.
I'm a bit confused about when I ovulated, as I either ov'd on day 6, as I had a temp spike then, or I still haven't ovulated. But (TMI alert), my cervix was SHOW after day 6 I think, but has now dropped, and I've had no mucus (sorry!). Anyway, it could be that the supplements I've been taking have messed with things a bit, so I'm trying not to over analyse. So I'm assuming I'm due on CD20, which wouldn't be unheard of for me.Currently CD13, so it's the horrid 1WW... Wish me luck! But I don't have high hopes for this cycle, I see this month as laying the best fertile ground for a better month(s) over the next few cycles.
I'm having accupuncture tonight, so looking forward to that!

Sorry for long post - I don't know how you all keep them so short!

Tara04 · 16/09/2016 17:34

Thanks Katy I mind reading about your evap must have been awful iv had a few but luckily there always really thin but the first one I got I assumed wasn't lol but this was Defo a line.well I peed on my last stick last nyt so I have none till the post man comes to stop myself honestly iv done like 20 it's a serious addictionBlush.iv kind of came to terms those 3 were faulty or it was a chemical and there's nothing I can do so just have to suck it up!
Hippy I'm convinced I don't have it lol iv got it in one foot one finger one elbo it's never symmetric but I phoned my nurse and should get my kenlog toe injection next week as I can hardly walk you should keep pushing iv read some people's don't show in blood tests!have you had acupuncture before?i hope your cycles lengthen with it what supplements are you taking?af due 2morro but no spotting yet bet it's late just to wind me up more as I always spot!
Bloop how's the monitor going
Also Katy how exciting and scary at the same time I really hope it works first time as it's a hole other rollercoaster of emotions yo go through xx

Bloopbleep · 16/09/2016 23:56

Hippybird, I'm one of those the basic blood test doesn't show up but at the hospital they ran loads of tests which confirmed it alongside symptoms. I have had hypermobility for years but as my connective tissue has become more inflamed I've lost most of the hypermobility. Snall blessing I guess.

Tara I too don't get symmetrical flares and thankfully it's usually only one joint at a time. I know if one eases off that another will start to hurt within the week. Another blessing I think. I've had the steroid injections in my elbow but now I'm left with permanent atrophy and no muscle or fat padding at all. I don't enjoy getting old - especially when I'm not that old.

Annabellaboo · 17/09/2016 09:48

Hello all. Sorry for the silence. I too have been trying not to obsess for a couple of weeks so took a break from posting, but have been reading everyone's posts. Tara we seem to take similar supplements.
I ovulated late this cycle and am now on the 2ww or maybe more like 1 because of late ovulation. This has happened a few times and I think maybe it's due to stress/tiredness? When I do ovulate later however I feel I have more symptoms, as if ovulation is stronger somehow. Anyone else have this? If my cycles were not so short I would say it's a good thing but I doubt it is with my short cycles.
Bloop and Tara I also have RA I believe. I have had bloods but nothing showed. I was told this is quite common. I also have quite bad raynauds and now I have been referred to a rheumatologist so am hoping their tests will be a little more extensive and accurate.
Basically I know it is all autoimmune related which I am convinced is the reason I can't conceive. I am also gluten intolerant and recently had mild endometriosis removed so it all adds up. I am 35 and there is no other reason found for my infertility and I have had all the tests. I was considering IVF but have pretty much ruled this out now as if I do have an autoimmune disease It would be unlikely to be a success. So I am trying to heal myself though diet, supplements and alternative treatments. It's a long process that I have been doing for a while. No luck with pregnancy yet. However I am feeling the health benefits and my RA is slightly improved.

OP posts:
Bloopbleep · 17/09/2016 10:14

anna having an autoimmune condition doesn't rule it out. It does make it harder if you're flaring but getting it under control should mean your chances are similar to general population- it's also worth remembering that most people go into remission while pregnant. I had my first with an undiagnosed under active thyroid which is meant to be a huge mc risk.

Annabellaboo · 17/09/2016 14:19

Hi bloop. Yes I know it's possible. I didn't have any of these issues before I got pregnant however, it has only been since giving birth. And we conceived as soon as we started trying. I guess my body just can't seem to do it this time with whatever is going on with my autoimmune condition. Not sure else how to stop flare ups. I seem to go through cycles of being ok for a few weeks then I get terrible stomach issues and feel exhausted. The raynauds and RA are pretty much always around though. The weather has turned and my raynauds is back with avegence.

OP posts:
Bloopbleep · 17/09/2016 16:37

Are you on medication annabellaboo? I take hydroxychloriquine which is safe for ttc and pregnancy.

Tara04 · 17/09/2016 17:20

Hi Anna that's weird that 4 of us have immune disorders and can't conceive?im newly diagnosed just December so bloop prob knows more I have consistent pain in one foot and other joints come and go iv had to do summer in ugg boots and the they now have a new blood test that confirms it but I still don't know at the time my factor was 92 so should be ten I do worry that it is that that's causing it as it's maybe attaching the egg thinking it's an antibody but prob not lol me thinking I'm a doctor!my cycles had shortend but after the faint line I'm now late but if I go back to my old cycle Iv still got 4 days.do you take royal jelly?i feel it's that that's shortens them but only been taking it for 2 months.i hope your relaxed few weeks have helped and we get some possitive news on here.xxx

Annabellaboo · 18/09/2016 12:37

Bloop- I haven't been officially diagnosed yet but have now been referred to a rhumotologist after a couple of doctors visits. I have known it's some sort of autoimmune disorder myself for a while as I gradually put all the pieces together. I wasn't even bothered about getting it officially diagnosed at first as most of what I have read says the key to remission is through diet and supplements. But now I feel I should at least have an official diagnoses and consider medication if it is necessary and may help my chances of conception. Also my raynauds is getting worse each year and I feel this needs looking into. The medication you are on-do you think it helps? Is it supposed to potential help with conception?
Tara- yes it is interesting how we do all seem to have an auto immune disorder. Have you read Dr Beers book 'is your body baby friendly'?

OP posts:
Bloopbleep · 18/09/2016 12:57

No the medication I'm on is nothing to do with conceiving it's just not as toxic as some of the others. All it does is try to keep the inflammation down and suppress the disease. I'm wary of the belief diet and supplements can put you into remission. Never worked for me or millions of others. If it's worked for you then that's great but evidence is anecdotal and I'm a stickler for clinical trials. I was happy to pump poisons into my system for a few months respite.

hippybird · 20/09/2016 13:32

Hi all
Anna nice to hear from you again, as the group starter! Glad to hear you had a couple of nice worry free weeks.
Gosh, it is interesting that lots of us have short cycles, and autoimmune issues. Although not 100% whether mine is autoimmune.
I'm now in the last few days of cycle. If I did ovulate on CD6, which I'm pretty sure I did this cycle, then I should be due on Friday, and implantation would have been happening the last few days. I have been trying to stay warm, as recommended in my book, eating good, warming foods, etc... However, as we only DTD once before ovulation (as I would normally ovulate CD10), I guess the chances are quite slim. However, I'm trying to stay positive, and if AF does arrive on Friday, I am going to be philosophical, and see this month as building nice fertile environment for next cycle. I will also have Accupuncture on Thursday, so that will be good for a distraction at least. I had horrendous PMT yesterday - do any of you find you get PMT on odd days, not always the day before arrival?
Anyway, that's my check in. Hope you're all doing OK. When will you guys due?

Bloopbleep · 20/09/2016 16:40

Hey hippybird - fingers crossed for you this is your month! I usually get pms for three weeks of the cycle but a week before af it goes into overdrive.
As for me, I'm 7dpo with really odd bowel troubles. I've had uterine type cramps since 4dpo which have triggered the (sorry tmi) diarrhoea - but I don't "feel" it's due to pregnancy so probably just crap but it's definitely not a bug either as no one else has it. Boooo to poo!

I don't have half the symptoms I usually get by now such as breasts in agony and perpetual nausea which is really odd given the past few cycles have been symptomy of progesterone trying to kill me from ovulation onwards. I'm pretty sure I ovulated last Tuesday as it really hurt for a good few hours afterwards and had a clearly positive opk on Monday. I guess time will tell...

Tara04 · 20/09/2016 17:18

Hi hippy I really like your plan and you do seem really relaxed I would love to try acupuncture but it's quite expensive.i Defo think it helps to be relaxed I say it every month but never am.
Bloop I hope that a good sign then u don't have sore boobs etc I mean you read other story's and they say things and u try not to hope but secretly you do.
Well af turned up today so 4 days late but least I'm on to next cycle!!i can't move my shoulder ra has decided to try a new joint had about 4 hours sleep in two days its that painful so I'm back on a load of pain killers which I hate doing.
How's everyone else it is really quite on here xx

MrsNuckyThompson · 20/09/2016 17:25

I could have written your post.

Acupuncture did the trick for me. 2 months' worth and I was pregnant after 18 months of trying with no luck. I know it was the acupuncture because it immediately changed my cycle back to what it had been before I had my 3.5 year old (what I think about as my 'usual' cycle).

If you are in SW London I can recommend someone amazing.

Bloopbleep · 20/09/2016 17:57

Tara acupuncture really REALLY. Helped with my joint pain. Amazingly so. Was well worth the expense at the time but sadly been a bit skint lately so had to suspend it for a while

closephine85 · 20/09/2016 18:01

Hi ladies

Sorry I've been quiet for a while. Been reading but not posting! But today I'm a bit stressed... I've started spotting again (if you recall last months disaster) this time I've lasted longer... I'm 9.5 dpo and last time it started on 2.5 dpo (the .5 obvs v. Important!) - do you think that's long enough for me to not go running to the Drs yet and wait and see where I get to next month? Ive been taking b6 every day. No idea if that's helped. I'm feeling a bit down as thought I was on course for a month without it :(

Jeni - lovely to hear from you - how are you getting on in your pregnancy?

Tara04 · 20/09/2016 21:31

Thanks I think I might look into this im in Scotland but thanks for that I have read a lot that it's helped for both so maybe my next thing to try lol.
Closephine that's just borderline I think it should be a least ten days I would mention it and see what they say cause it's only causing more stress years ago when I was on the pill I use to bleed all the time and the doctor gave me pills to take to stop it I just took two when it started and it worked but I was 17 so wasn't to do with ttc.this is my 3rd month on royal jelly and this is the first month iv not had any spotting I was a 32 to 36 day cycle I'm now 27 to 30 day cycle but last two months iv ovulated on cd 10 so I'm a bit iffy if that's enough time to have a healthy egg iv read anything over ten is normal but I used to be cd16.but I also got put on b12 and folAte for low blood count so could be that I suppose??is your doctor quite good?i feel mine doesn't really bother she still says things like are you doing it enough and not to much it should happen your young and have a kid like I'm exaggerating the 3+ years xx

Rose8282 · 21/09/2016 09:46

Hi ladies, apologies here for the radio silence too.
We've been up to our eyeballs in household DIY, setting into the new house and area, me starting new job and DD starting nursery, but finally starting to feel like we're getting on top of things.
I've also been trying to keep up with posts, so sorry if I'm not quite up to speed with what everyone is up to. It's great how popular this thread has become albeit I wish we didn't all have to be here.

On CD 20 here, so in the midst of the 'joys' of DTDing.
Closephine, sorry to hear the spotting started earlier than you were hoping again. It;s good that it's getting longer though, and hopefully the next couple of cycles with continue to improve.

Interesting to hear the stories about acupuncture. I'm usually a little cynical about alternative therapies, but I've def heard good things about acupuncture and considering trying this myself.

Also, just got a call from my mum who enthusiastically told me about a programme about infertility that was on BBC1 last night. She said it was really good, that's obviously coming from someone who has no personal experience of infertility, but I'll attach the link, I'm going to give it a go this evening:
bbc.in/2d9idLR

Rose8282 · 21/09/2016 09:52

(As in my mum has no personal experience of infertility, the presenter of the programme does, I think)

Tara04 · 21/09/2016 17:24

Hi rose glad your starting to get settled I just watched that programme and put me in a mood lol the presenter was 38 and was just checking to see how hers was as she got married it then showed you some ivf and things that effect sperm and then came up at the end that she was pregnant 8 months after getting checked and it all went so easily well woopy doo that's just what we all need to here and a 50 year old through ivf etc but anyway was worth a watch as one woman said vitimin d can be a problem so need to add that xx

hippybird · 23/09/2016 11:18

Morning all, am working from home today, so have a chance to check in.

Thanks for link to programme Rose (and thanks to your mum!).

I did acupuncture for 3 or 4 months at the end of last year/beginning of this one. It obviously didn't help me get pregnant, but it did really help me regulate my temperatures, and I also found it really helpful having somebody to talk to about TTC and also general life stresses, and then she does something afterwards based on what you've said, so it feels really cathartic. Plus you get a lovely floaty feeling, and it makes you feel very calm. I'm starting again, and had my first session last week. Missed my session this week, but am booked in for next week. It IS really expensive, but once I've had it weekly for a bit, I'll probably go to fornightly again, plus, she gives me a slight discount, as I said I was worrying about money. So I pay £40 a session instead of £50. It's a lot, but I budget it in.

I'm currently on CD 20, and officially "due", I've had some spotting yesterday and this morning, so pretty sure AF is on her way. I'm slightly disappointed, but trying to put that aside and focus on a fresh month, especially as this month seemed pretty unlikely due to early ovulation.

Fot those of you suffering with stress, I highly recommend meditation - I use the Headspace App, and feel about 150% better since I've started doing it twice daily. I mean, I feel properly much less anxious, more calm, less stressed. It really is amazing!!

Annabelle I get a sense you are a bit of a hippy/alternative gal at heart like me. I would highly recommend Emma Cannon's books. They give you really good, practical advice on diet, supplements, temperament and how that can effect TTC, mindfulness. They're kind of like a holistic guide to TTC. Anyway, I really like them, and am hoping having followed her advice last month will put me in a better space for the months to come, and am hoping for a longer cycle next cycle.

I have a question - I know people on here have been TTC for varying amounts of time, sounds like from 2 years plus. What I'm interested to know is: do you all feel that every month you tried your best, but didn't achieve pregnancy, or do you feel, like me, that actually about half that time was either, bad timing, not even able to have sex during fertile window due to travel (for example), I also had a few months of "that's it, I'm taking a break! And sort of "giving up" for a couple of months, and not doing it at the right time... Or months I've written off, due to stress.

I say this, because I still feel hopeful because we will be able to achieve pregnancy, as I feel there have been so many wasted months, one way or another that I feel that if I just calm down, eat well, look after myself, de-stress and try not to obsess. It could happen... I also have a strong urge for it to happen naturally - I totally support those of you that want to do IVF, and I admire you hugely, but I feel I just won't be able to cope with the stress. But lots of my family (who I have told) are losing patience with me, and don't understand why we've not gone down a very medical route... Don't get me wrong, I've had my bloods, and they were all fine, and I had an ultrasound, which was apparently normal, but the docs said we needed a SA before they would do any more investigations on me, and DH was reluctant! Anyway, he's about to get that done in the next few days, and then I will talk to the doc and get more investigations, but I wonder whether any of you can identify with my feeling of "we've just not quite had the right circumstances yet"... I also have my age to consider, as I am 40 in March next year, and doc says they won't do any investigations after I turn 40. Eek! Also, how did I get to 40?? It just doesn't seem possibe! But that, my friends, is another thread!!