Any success stories and ideas for secondary infertility?

[Annabellaboo]

Hello ladies.
I am hoping to get some ideas and support on here.
I am 35 years old, very healthy with a 3 year DS. We have been trying to conceive our second child for 2 years now. I became pregnant very easily with my first and had an easy pregnancy.
This time nothing.
I have had all the tests the nhs provides. Progesterone normal, I ovulate, DH sperm count is normal, no blockages etc etc. I have tried charting, ov sticks, changed my already pretty healthy diet (cut out refined sugars and have lots more greens etc, and alkalised my body). I take advised supplements and have even tried acupuncture.
I do however have short cycles, sometimes as short as 21 days but averaging 24. This is a little shorter than I had before my DS.
We cannot afford IVF and I am not sure I can face that anyway.
My consultant last month has prescribed me a half dose (25mg) of clomid, which a scan showed on the first round it definitely boosted things even more with a good few mature follicles. I already ovulate but she thought as my cycles are quite short and a little irregular it may give me a boost.
I have been convinced several times I was pregnant (oh how cruel our bodies and brains can be!) but AF always turns up.
I guess what I am asking is does anyone have any other suggestions of things I could try or why I can't conceive time. I am open to theories and alternative methods.
Any experience in this subject and success stories please share.
I try not to stress about it all, but some months it just really gets you down as there is no real 'reason'. The hard thing is watching other mums around get pregnant multiple times so easily.
Thank you for listening!
Anna

Hi ladies, how are you all getting on? I'm 9dpo over here and as yet the crazy is still at bay. I can't even be bothered to buy any tests (although I do actually have to test to stop the progesterone so should really). I wonder if this means my hope has gone?

Jenny - how are you doing? I don't know for sure, but I was told I'd be having gonal-F injections, ovitrelle trigger and then progesterone (which I'm already using, I've also used trigger shot before so gonal-F is the only new one). I'll find out more when I call at the start of cycle for DHs results

Hi everyone
closephine - it's totally understandable how you feel. I feel exactly the same. I'm about 2dpo and am dreading the roller coaster next week or so. Maybe it's good the crazy is at bay for now for you, I admire your calmness. Am keeping my fingers tightly crossed for you though.
I'm not good. Finally got to see the best doctor at our practice today and it was a disaster - I was begging for a scan or tests or anything and she just kept saying I've got a child already so there was absolutely nothing I could have on nhs. I was distraught and broke down and she's prescribed me antidepressants. So not only am I infertile I'm also depressed and anxious, great. Dh has been so lovely tonight, I think it's really shocked him how distressed I am, I've probably hidden quite a lot of my feelings before, so at least that's good now - all out in the open. Had a bad week last week - 3 pregnancy announcements - including one test photo sent through and another early announcement of twins. Absolute nightmare

MrsKitten - I am not nhs where I live so I'm sure one of the other ladies can advise better, but that sounds like total bullshit to me. Have they not even given you blood tests to check whether you are ovulating or not?! As far as I'm aware, you are not eligible for ivf, but should be able to have the basic tests - blood tests, HSG to check tubes are open, maybe even a laparoscopy if needed. How frustrating. I'm really pissed off for you!

Mrskitten that's awful you poor thing. I'm not surprised that you are in a state. I am sure you are entitled to tests - basically everything up to the point of NHS. We only got as far as my ovulation tests and my husbands SA but they said that was the reason and then gave us the option to either continue trying or IVF. We didn't get offered the HSG.
Can you change doctors? Can you argue that actually it's a case of your own health and you want tests rather than for a child if you know what I mean?

Closephine- I totally get the crazy at bay thing. Embrace it! I had this the last two months and it's just an acceptance thing now. However I get my craziness at other times when it hits me.
Had to spent day with friend who is about to drop. It's awful but I just am so envious of her whilst I feel life is on pause. Just want to be old me again!
Xx

I meant basically up to point of IVF!! I was typing on my phone fast with rage!

Thanks closephine - I know - so shit isn't it. I had the blood tests last year and she said they were 'fine' - whatever that means. I mentioned those types of tests too but she was having none of it. It was awful. And she was supposed to be the best doctor at our practice for fertility! She offered me counselling too! So I can't get pregnant again after having ds and keep crying at simple pregnancy announcements so I'm sure counselling will not help!

Thanks katy yes I might change doctors, just feel really low about it all at the mo. That must have been so hard being with your friend like that, I feel like I'm on pause too, it's so horrible

Katy - I also have bad envy of a friend who
Is expecting in September when our ds's start school. I also find myself scared to contact/meet up with certain friends who I think are likely ttc. We were at a wedding of a close friend a couple of weeks ago so she is now added to the growing list containing some of my closest friends. I just want to get back for being genuinely happy and excited for others. I used to be so pleased for people when they told me they were expecting. Now I basically run from the room in tears.

MrsKitten - I still can't see how this is right. Does each nhs trust have its own rules?

I'm still mainly keeping the crazy at bay. In the very early stages of pregnancy with ds I had lots of cramping, particularly at night and after trips to the loo. I've decided this can be the only genuine symptom I could trust and unless I feel those cramps again then I'm not pregnant. No cramps this month = No baby.

I've bought my tests for Monday but I'm not even tempted to use one early as yet. And I'm out for afternoon tea today and will be enjoying a cocktail.

Hi ladies, sorry for the silence, I haven't quite gotten back into things since my holiday and laparoscopy. Just trying to forget about all of this as much as I can I guess. This thread is so busy I apologise for not keeping up on all the latest posts. Hope you are all having a nice weekend and having some good distractions from our ongoing pain.
I am mostly healed now just a little bit sore now.
So everyone that knows I had some endometriosis removed now expects that to solve the problem. I really hope they are right, but I find it hard to believe after so much disappointment and it was only mild so who knows. Still, it's a chance and I feel grateful I had it done. I am now following a total no grains diet to try and keep the endometriosis away and reduce inflammation in the gut. It's so hard but I am sticking with it for now at least.
Putting any further testing or treatment options on hold for a few months to see if the lap can work a miracle.

This morning I'm feeling pissed at everyone who gets pregnant easily. Totally irrational and unfair but can't help it. Kept the crazy at bay and had my bfn this morning but now I'm just feeling irked and touchy.

I helped out on ds's nursery outing on Friday. One of the mums has just had a fourth boy (all younger than ds - there's twins in there). The staff were all like 'oh what a shame another boy'. A shame?! Seriously. The woman has FOUR children. FOUR. They are just a blessing.

Closephine I'm sorry for your bfn. I had exactly same cramping symptoms with my pregnancy so now just know and try not to kid myself. Argh how dare they complain??? My friend had her baby at the weekend. Not only did she have a girl so one of each, she had a super quick birth. Dreading visiting her. I took my son to his open day for play group and found it emotional. I was always supposed to be pregnant by time he started. And there were so many pregnant mums.

Anna- I hope that they have found and resolved the issue with you. Fingers crossed.
X

Katy - I get those same feelings when going to school with ds. We have his induction this week. I'm so worried I'm going to lose the plot totally come September! I hope visiting your friend isn't too difficult.

Does anyone else feel weirdly inferior somehow for only having one child? Almost like others have it easy because I'm not juggling children?

Anna - glad to hear you are healing ok. It must be hard not to get your hopes up now that they've found something.

My ds has been so lovely the last couple of days. We had a day of bad behavior on Friday and it was one of those days where I found myself telling him off all day and I didn't feel like it was going in. But I think it must have because he's been wonderful all weekend. Then last night he woke about 10pm and I just moved him into our bed and went to clean my teeth etc. when I got into bed, he opened his sleepy eyes, gave me the most gorgeous sleepy smile, snuggled in for a cuddle and told me how much he loved me. My heart melted and at that moment I felt like the luckiest person in the whole world! Fuck this shit because my boy is awesome! (I don't swear in real life btw so it's quite nice to get it out on here sometimes!).

That should have said *others think I have it easy

Yeah I get that. My neighbour has 4 girls and I always feel like I look like I have it easy with just the one. It feels like with friends I can't really have the right to say I've had a tricky day or night as obviously with two it must be harder.

Oh bless him that's just so gorgeous. I have moments like that when your heart almost bursts with love and I'm so so grateful for what I have. I try and think of him as a miracle as really he is. It just gets me at moment as (I'm sure it's a common toddler thing) he adores baby animals and babies. He tries to cuddle babies in books I just think the ultimate present for him would be a baby brother or sister.

It's good to remind yourself how lucky we are to have one (but if anyone else tells me this who isn't struggling I want to punch them!) xx

Hi ladies, we've had a crazy weekend moving into our new place- and also staying at my parents, as the new place needs re-wiring- which I have to say has been an amazing albeit stressful distraction from fertility problems- there you go, my great advice, move house! (I'm sure you'll find the same, Katy)

Closephine, I'm so sorry to hear about you bfn. Bless your little boy, it's like he knew you needed that. He sounds just gorgeous. Wish I could say the same about DD who is being a bit of a handful at the moment, I think she's finding the move a bit unsettling. (I also bumped into 2 pregnant mums with children my DD's age at nursery yesterday (pun unintended!). I think they were the last without two children.)

Mrs kitten- sorry its a bit late, but you definitely definitely are entitled to a referral to fertility specialists which would then lead to other tests such as ultrasound and HSG. I'm also pretty shocked your GP has said that and I would absolutely demand to see another or change practices if that's what is needed. It's horrible to feel so dismissed as well when you're going through this.

Jenny- sorry to hear about your DH's varicocele and how down you've been feeling- IUI sounds like such an ordeal- I'm so intrigued by it all, it sounds like such an ordeal, bless you- I went to see a play about IVF (pretty random I know), and they showed all the injections etc and it did make me think twice about whether I would want to go through it. You must be coming up to the end of your 2ww?

On another note, I'm feeling really jittery at the moment, I'm late spotting, I usually start spotting max 29 days after the last date I started spotting and today is day 31- I know this sounds ridiculous though, as spotting isn't your period, but nevertheless its making me a nervous mess and if I'm not pregnant, which lets face it I'm most likely not, I know the come down is going to be horrible.
Plus I've also found a lump in my breast, it's tiny and I'm sure its nothing, I'll book a doctors appt today. But all night I've been having crazy thoughts of, but what if I am pregnant and then I have to have chemo and eurghhhh.

Apologies for truly sounding like crazy lady today.
I do hope everyone else is in a slightly calmer frame of mind.

Oh no Rose, you must be in turmoil! Regarding the lump, depending on when you found it, it could just be cyclical? Mine get 'lumpy' before my AF but my GP said as long as they go back down (which they do) after AF then they're ok. Good luck and let us know how you get on.

How many dpo are you now then? Day 31 sounds like a long cycle - are you going to test or will we be left in suspense here?! :)

Hi everyone, sorry I've not been on for a while, been very down about things.
Just had a quick read through and totally get what you've said closephine - and katy - I went to ds's school induction the other week and had tears in my eyes the whole way through it. There were bumps and younger babies everywhere and I felt so inferior to the other mums that I couldn't even bring myself to speak to any of them. I just can't believe he's starting school in September and I've failed to give him a baby brother or sister.
Sorry for the bfn closephine - I've had the same myself this morning and am totally irrational and angry at the 2 pregnant women at work - one of whom has just found out its twins and is moaning because she is in her maternity clothes early. I could scream. Yes it's her second pregnancy and yes it happened immediately, in fact they're not entirely sure how it happened as they weren't together much the month she conceived. Aarghhhh.
So with my bfn this morning am just awaiting the inevitable appearance of af which will really send me over the edge.
rose - thank you, yes I probably will ask to see someone else - just need to build myself up again first. I second closephine, are you going to test?

Hi ladies. closephine-sorry for another Bfn disappointment. It's so bloody tiresome isn't it.
Rose-glad to hear you have had successful distractions with the move. Surely you must be tempted to test now? It's hard though isn't it, when you have a longer cycle and you can't help get your hopes up and then can't face the potential fall. One of us really is due a bfp soon!
Kittenpie- agree with the others you should go back and ask for a different doc, that is not right and you are absolutely entitled to some investigations. Sorry you are struggling so much at the moment. I think the school thing is really a hard hurdle and makes our situation really sink in.
I am busy with work so am also distracted for now. I think I am ovulating so will DTD tonight. I wasn't sure how long to wait after my laparoscopy, but I am feel fine and am mostly healed so really don't want to miss an opportunity! So look out crazy about 2 weeks for now!
I am currently maxing out on various supplements, homeopathic remedies and a strict baby friendly diet at the moment. I want to give myself every possible natural chance to conceive. Going all out as I think our next step may be a consultation with the clinic in Athens to consider ivf. Not that we can afford it right now, but we may be able to borrow by increasing our mortgage a little. Didn't think I would be considering this route, but the alternative (no baby) still feels so awful and unimaginable that I want to try everything before i can attempt to move forward and give up. But for now...still holding out for a natural miracle. Feeling some hope again and believing it can and will happen. Let's see if I can maintain this feeling for a while! Please!

Hi everyone, yes still no spotting but my AF isn't due till the weekend so can't bear testing now only to get a negative. Will wait a couple more days I think. I don't know when I ovulated unf as haven't been tracking- all I know is that usually the length from when I first spot from one cycle to the next is normally max 29. DH will have to put up with my crazy for another couple of days. The lump may well be cyclical closephine, by next week when I have the appointment if it hasn't gone hopefully they'll refer.

Took my dd to meet her new childminder today and was sooo naughty- this is when I torture myself that she needs a blimmin sibling!!

Disaster. DHs count results are back. They are the worst they have ever been. His morphology is 0%! Fuckitty fuck. We are pissing into the wind so to speak.

The harder he tries, the worse they get. What the actual fuck?

Sorry Rose, didn't mean to totally ignore your message. Hope you're doing ok. Must be driving you crazy wondering.

Oh bummer!! how rubbish. I'm guessing you haven't had a chance to speak to the urologist about them yet, I know morphology is often quite near 0%, so maybe it was just a particularly poor sample? What was the count?

Count was just 4 million :( we were hoping for great things this time and it's the worst yet.

Is your spotting still at bay?

Oh crap that's awful! I'm so sorry. They seem to change so much. They seem to know so little about what changes sperm count it's infuriating. Have they suggested anything? X

Oh no closephine so sorry to hear that. You must both be very upset. Do you know the next options? Hugs your way