Any success stories and ideas for secondary infertility?

[Annabellaboo]

Hello ladies.
I am hoping to get some ideas and support on here.
I am 35 years old, very healthy with a 3 year DS. We have been trying to conceive our second child for 2 years now. I became pregnant very easily with my first and had an easy pregnancy.
This time nothing.
I have had all the tests the nhs provides. Progesterone normal, I ovulate, DH sperm count is normal, no blockages etc etc. I have tried charting, ov sticks, changed my already pretty healthy diet (cut out refined sugars and have lots more greens etc, and alkalised my body). I take advised supplements and have even tried acupuncture.
I do however have short cycles, sometimes as short as 21 days but averaging 24. This is a little shorter than I had before my DS.
We cannot afford IVF and I am not sure I can face that anyway.
My consultant last month has prescribed me a half dose (25mg) of clomid, which a scan showed on the first round it definitely boosted things even more with a good few mature follicles. I already ovulate but she thought as my cycles are quite short and a little irregular it may give me a boost.
I have been convinced several times I was pregnant (oh how cruel our bodies and brains can be!) but AF always turns up.
I guess what I am asking is does anyone have any other suggestions of things I could try or why I can't conceive time. I am open to theories and alternative methods.
Any experience in this subject and success stories please share.
I try not to stress about it all, but some months it just really gets you down as there is no real 'reason'. The hard thing is watching other mums around get pregnant multiple times so easily.
Thank you for listening!
Anna

Hi Katy - I'll get the full list off DH this evening for you. We went to see Dr Ramsay following our own research. Our fertility clinic didn't recommend anything to improve count either and they advised ivf with icsi. It may well be that we end up there anyway. But for a £300 appointment with Dr Ramsay we figured it was worth a go.

We went to see Dr Ramsey for MFI too and he recommended Proxeed so if nothing else, crack on with that Katy!

Katy good luck woth the ivf. And moving house too, not much on your plate is there! Bet that is stressful. I'm extremely impatient at the best of times, it's really hard.

Kittenpie definitely go back! I know what is offered varies wildly from region to region but surely there is something they can do?

Closephine i have everything crossed for your results! As for the nettle leaf tea, i guess it could work that quickly on urine. Surely if it goes through youbit will affect the wee?
We've been trying for 16 months. My OH doesn't have any kids so feels the same as me. I do feel like sometimes there is a space between us now. The thing that's meant to be so easy and we can't do it. He sometimes moans about how everyone is having babies except us too. It's horrible. I don't know if men are ever as consumed by it as women though, i do think for a woman it's another level of longing

Hi Katy, here's the list:

Proxeed plus is the main supplement then in addition he also takes:

Vitamin B Complex
Omega 3
L-arginine

He also boosts doses in the proxeed with extra vitamin C and a magnesium with zinc tablet.

He is also working on making his body more alkaline and also has the tamoxifen prescribed by dr Ramsay.

Hope that helps!

Thank you. Just spent a fortune on three packs of Pregecare Conception so I'll use those first- unless I can combine them with the above? Don't want to overdoes him! So helpful though thanks 😀

How is everyone? My husband is away for the weekend- he practically skipped out the house!

Mysterious- I agree I always feel like my husband doesn't quite understand although having said that he is very upset each month and has moments of guilt which is just stupid x

Oh boy, having a rough day today. Went in for my IUI today, it was a bit uncomfortable, but ok. DH's washed SC this morning was a mere 0.8 million. I wanted to cry on the table. I know its lower after the washing process, but every SA is lower. I feel like our odds of a second child keep slipping month to month. I thought that it would be higher today after two months of proxeed and other supplements. We're making a plan for IVF with ICSI. I figured we'll still need $10k beyond what my insurance will cover. That cost is overwhelming to us right now, we don't have that cash. My husband's insurance would cover 90% of 6 IVF treatments, but I can't go on that until January and I'm so worried that his numbers will continue to decline.
I am grateful that we do have financial support from insurance to make this possible, but its such a hard decision. I have such mixed feelings about IVF and especially ICSI.

Katy - I would check the doses on your pregnacare conception against the proxeed - it's expensive but could be worth it in the long run. I'm not sure the pregnacare is aimed at low sperm counts, isn't it just designed to give 'normal' couples a boost when ttc?

Oh Jenny I'm so sorry. I've been there. DHs last post wash was under 1 million too. Did they say what his pre-wash number was? I find it slightly weird as it could be me talking with what you have said. Each time my DH has had a full semen analysis his count has been about 12 million. But on the 2 times we went for IUI he has been a mere 4 million and then 1 million pre wash. That said, his analysis at dr Ramsays clinic was also just 1
Million. I'm just wondering whether the IUI counts can be totally relied upon as a usual representation.

Jenny sorry to hear it's been a bit rough for you. Forgive me if I am ignorant on this as I will be the first to admit I dont know a lot, but while that is a relatively low number for the procedure you have does it have much impact? As I said I'm sorry if I'm being ignorant.
My OH had to repeat his first SA for reasons unknown. Hoping it's ok second time otherwise there are problems on both sides which doesn't fill me with hope since as far as I am aware the nhs doesn't really offer anything for secondary infertility? Although he has no children my dd is obviously counted.
Hope everyone has a nice weekend

Thank you for the support Closephine and Mysterious. I had thought that DH's low SC itaken in March was fluke (2 million vs 20 million normal). His count in December was 14 million but had morphology issues. And he's been taking proxeed for 2+ months now and his testosterone levels are fine, so was hoping we'd see an improvement. 0.8 million is really concerning, told we have a less than 3% chance that this last IUI will take. Normal post wash is closer to 15 million.

Closephine, have you seen any improvement with proxeed?

I'm so frustrated, sad and disappointed. My DS woke up at 1 am last night from a bad dream, after I got him back down I was up until almost 4 am crying. I'm just having a hard time accepting all of this. It feels so hopeless.

Hugs Jenny. Im not going through the same process but i can empathise with the feelings you are having. I think just take care of yourself. Cry if you want to. It's really really unfair to struggle so much and have so much seemingly going against you. How many tries do you get with this procedure? Also, a low chance isn't the same as no chance, so don't write it off before it's even begun. Hope you feel. Bit better tomorrow

Hi ladies

How are you all doing?

Jenny - hope you're feeling a bit better? My DH has had his semen analysis this morning so we will get the results of that in a couple of weeks. I'm so scared that after all this there won't be any change. And then I don't know what next...? Only time will tell I suppose!!!

How is everyone else doing? I feel like I'm about to reach a crossroads in my journey and I'm scared!!! Oh it would be so lovely if DHs count had seen some improvement.

I hope dh does have some improvement closephine. I have everything crossed for you

Hey,

Jenny I hope you are feeling a bit better now. Days like that are tough. It's awful seeing the impact on your husband too. Sending love

Closephine- fingers are crossed for you! I hate that wait. I don't understand why it takes them so long to come back!! It's excruciating.nit sounds like you have done so much I'm sure there must be some improvement.

Well my period arrived today and for first time haven't cried. Almost resigned to it now. We had our last NHS appointment yesterday. He was nice and said its either keep going on with this low chance or try IVF. We have said we have enough for one go and he's recommended Guys hospital in London and written off to them. Can't believe this is now where we are at. He was quite positive and explained the process. As we are moving in a couple of months we decided to wait until the end of the year Plus I need my tonsils out before! Scary stuff but sort of relieved we have made that decision now xx

Plus it's nearly £6k a pop!! It's just so expensive 😩

Mysterious, Katy, Closephine - Thank you so much for the support. I'm feeling a lot better, and am accepting our situation. Not to say I won't totally breakdown when AF arrives next week, but that's the roller coaster of infertility.

Turns out my DH has a large varicocele. Urologist said our only hope is for him to go forward with the surgery. He's crushed. But it explains why SC continued to diminish. It may or may not help, but will ensure that there's not future decline. From what I've read, it is the leading factor for male secondary infertility (50 - 80% of the time). I just wished we got it checked out sooner. He booked the surgery for next month. Improvements (if any) can't be expected for 6 months following operation. So our timeline is extended, I'm 35 and getting anxious.

Not sure if the RE will suggest that we continue on with IVF or wait.

Closephine - I have my fingers and toes crossed for you that your DH's counts improve this go!

Katy - I'm sorry AF reared her head again. Hugs to you. Best of luck on your IVF appointments. Keep us posted on how all that goes.

Hi ladies, long time no write! I have just got back from my hols. Decided to just put everything aside for a couple weeks and enjoy the break. Was heaven and I really didn't want to come back to reality! It's so easy to not worry and obsess when away and then as soon as the holiday was ending I got a sinking feeling of dread and anxiety about returning to reality. Still, was so nice and I am trying to not get down too soon!
Sorry it's been a while so I have lost track of everyone's latest posts etc, but now I'm back and will join in again.
Clospephine- no I wasn't told not to try before my laparoscopy so I just carried on as normal. I admit I did find that a bit of a concern but as I knew the dates would mean I was about to start AF I figured I could test accurately before. I'm scheduled for tomorrow morning-welcome home! no need to test as AF is definitely on its way as I have my spotting. Apparently it doesn't matter that I will be on but wish i wasn't as I am sure it will make things worse in general. I am a bit nervous but also glad to be having it done. I will update with findings tomorrow.
Hope you are all doing ok. Hope one of us has a happy success story soon, we so deserve it. Hugs.

Any news Anna? Sorry only just read your post from yesterday - hope your op went well! X

Will post a proper post later. Happy Friday ladies!

Hi closephine. I had a pretty bad reaction to the anaesthetic and was very weapy, sick and dizzy. I stayed in until late this evening as I was not well enough to be released. Home now and feeling rough but not as bad. The worst pain so far has been the ribs and shoulder from the air-ouch!
They found mild endometriosis on my pelvic wall which they burned away and scar tissue in my bowels which they separated.
I can only hope and pray this is the reason i can't get pregnant and removing it will help. Or it could be a symptom on an immune disorder so may not solve my problem.
Going to try and sleep now and hopefully I will be a lot better in the morning.
Hope you are doing ok? Xx

Hi ladies

Jenny - sorry to hear about your setback with DH. I guess at least it gives you some answers but the delay in any improvement and whether to go straight for ivf must be a tough call. What do you think you want to do? Where are you in your 2ww? Do you have to continue any drugs after ovulation has taken place? Also, did you have any side effects from the injections? I've been given jury duty (!) and it will be at the beginning of my next cycle, I'm nervous of being stuck in court unable to leave whilst suffering possible side effects from the injections?

Katy - sorry to hear AF arrived. Yes, I struggle with he idea of parting with the money for ivf. If it results in a baby then happy days. If not, I'll have blown the money I could have spent on ds's future.

Anna - oh yes the rib pain is awful :( be kind to yourself for the next few days. I hope you have people looking after you well. It took me a good 4-5 days to feel back to my normal self. It sounds tentatively positive that they found a couple of things to fix. Fingers crossed eh?? Hope you're feeling a bit better today.

As for me... not much to report. I think our chances this month are pretty much zilch. DH had his SA on Tuesday which meant abstaining beforehand, only for me to ovulate early (typical!) on Tuesday evening. We DTD at the time of ovulation and again the following morning but it was all a bit half hearted and we haven't done it again since. So right now I don't feel like it's very likely (is it ever?!) but I'm sure towards the end of the 2ww the crazy will set in.

Hi ladies,

I hope you don't mind me joining in. I've read through quite a few of your comments and they sum up how I'm feeling so well! I'm sorry you're all going through this horrible time.

We have been suffering from secondary infertility for 2 1/2 years now, after conceiving our daughter without even trying back in 2011. She is 5 this year, off to school in September, and never in my worst nightmares did I think that I wouldn't have another child (or two!) before she goes.

I am 30, Dh is 31 and we are both fit, healthy and (apparently!) fertile! None of our tests have shown anything up. The only thing I can think of is that during our first Ivf cycle, I was a poor responder to the drugs and only 5 eggs were retrieved - this makes me think I have a low/diminished ovarian reserve, though the doctors haven't said this! We started Ivf in January, and unfortunately have had two failed goes so far (our first fresh transfer resulted in a Bfn and our second, which was a frozen embryo transfer, ended in a chemical pregnancy). I am just waiting for my period to arrive to start injections for our next full cycle! I saw that a couple of you are considering Ivf - if you have any questions or would like to know my experience then I'm more than happy to discuss it.

Sorry again that you are all going through this. It really bloody sucks doesn't it?! X

Hi ladies, sorry for the radiosilence, we are midst-moving so have been very busy. Very effective distraction I have to say!

Anna, so glad to hear you had a lovely relaxing holiday and were able to forget about things for a little while, not nice to have to come back to a laposroscopy- I wonder if they often find some mild endometriosis on people's laparoscopies even if you don't have much in the way of symptoms? Sorry to hear it wasn't a pleasant experience, at least you can say that you've done everything now and hope that this helps.

Closephine, crossing my fingers for you that DH's SA comes back better. I managed to persuade my GP to let DH have another one- thought would be useful to have at least 2 to provide if we go private, which I'm thinking may be soon.

I'm also ovulating at the moment, so DH and I are trying to DTD whilst in the midst of packing and boxes everywhere, romantic as ever!

It's quite impressive how big this group is getting, it's sad to know there are so many of us out there, but also quite reassuring. welcome to the group lat1085- so sorry to hear about your two failed cycles, that must be so so hard. Wishing you all the best with your third one. Yep it sucks and that's pretty much all there is to it :(.

I'm starting to feel like I just want to go private quite soon and contemplate IVF. I just feel we've tried so so hard and I can see DD getting bigger by the day and starting to feel sadder and sadder and quite hopeless.

Hi ladies, I'd like to join here too.

Coming up to the 2 year mark for us this Summer. DS will be 4 in July and like you lat1085 I never dreamt we would be in this position as DS was conceived so easily. I'm 35 this year & DP is 36. We've both had all the usual initial tests & all appears 'normal' so far. Waiting to hear about a date for HSG but the fertility specialist intimated at our last appointment that if that doesn't help there wouldn't be much else she could suggest other than to try IVF. Much like Closephine85 I can't bring myself to consider that as an option as I feel that money should really be kept for & spent on DS....especially when we'd probably have to save up for it!

I feel awful for desperately wanting another child when we already have DS who amazes me everyday. He often asks for a brother / sister and it breaks my heart when I hear him say it.

I suspect that I have a short LP but I'm not really sure if it's any different to when we conceived DS as I never paid any attention to the details of my cycle!!

Think I missed ovulation this month as the OPK's showed a couple of days of very feint lines & then nothing. Had a few days of ewcm but we only managed to DTD once so not really convinced. We had a chemical back in March this year which gave me a glimmer of hope but nothing since then.

Happy Father's Day! Hope you all have something special planned xx

Hi ladies and welcome newbies!

Lat - we are very similar - my ds turns 5 this year, off to school in September (dreading!) coming up to 3 years ttc and I just turned 31 (DH 31 also). You are correct is does indeed bloody suck! We were at a wedding recently and a male friend of mine started quizzing me about where i'd been lately, what was new in my life etc. I said nothing/nowhere and he kept prodding. Because I'd had a few to drink and because I thought he might have some sympathy i basically just said that life gets put on hold when you've been ttc for so long. His response was 'what you're too busy having loads of sex?!' ERM. Yeah because sex is so much fun at this point!!

Rose - glad to hear moving has been a good distraction. I watched a Zita West video yesterday about secondary infertility, she didn't have much to say that I didn't already know, but she did say that you have to forget about the age gap as it's just adding pressure to an already stressful situation. I think she's probably right. Although it is hard. Perhaps we should try and focus on all the extra love and attention our DC's are getting from us. I am the eldest of four, all very close together, and I definitely did miss out on attention/one on one time (if there ever was any, I can't remember!) with my parents growing up. So I try and think about that when I am getting upset about ds getting older and not having a sibling (yet...? Trying to stay hopeful!).

Luna - I came very close to taking the plunge with ivf. I was poised to have our clinic send the letter and start the ball rolling but then I did a complete about turn. We decided to get ds investigated further as a last ditch attempt. I always say we could only do one round but I hear of so many people getting sucked into round after round I get scared the same would happen and we would be 20k (that we don't have!) down before we even knew it!

Hey all. As we are talking about ivf...I'm concerned all will come down to ivf as our last chance too. And will be a huge struggle to save the money and hate the idea of it failing, which is obviously a worry.
OH has a second SA in a couple of weeks as the first one had some issues. Don't know what. For us, I'm really hopig he is ok so that all wehave to worry about is my pcos. I feel like that is far more manageable. I guess we are 'lucky' that we do at least know what the majority of our trouble is caused by. We have an appointment with the infertility clinic next month so am hoping we get more of an idea of what our next steps are...because I have dd Im not sure what they will give. Fairly certain clomid won't be offered but I'm hoping I get metformin as it has success at regulating cycles....realistically im expecting (hoping in regards to oh's results) to be told there is nothing they can do cos of it being secondary infertility and that's it.

Anna - I hope you are feeling better and had a relaxing weekend to recover.

Lat and Luna - Welcome. Secondary infertility is not a party we'd hope to one day join, but the support from this group has been so helpful during my lowest days.

Closephine - Are you taking gonadtrophins during your IUI cycle this month? I was on gonal-f (evening injection days 3-13) and then ovidrel on day 14. Targeted ovulation and IUI on day 16 (I have a longer cycle). I just had bloating with the injections, I still look like I've gained 5 pounds and my chest is swollen. I'm sure you'll be fine with the side effects and jury duty. The only tough part, is typically on an IUI with injections monitoring from day 3 to ovulation is every other day (ultrasound + bloodwork). It was a hassle. After the IUI, I was done with drugs, though I've heard of other women being prescribed progesterone. I'm still in my 2WW, should know the end result this weekend. Totally expecting a BFN as DH's count was very very low, we were only give a 3% rate of success. But miracles do happen.