Any success stories and ideas for secondary infertility?

[Annabellaboo]

Hello ladies.
I am hoping to get some ideas and support on here.
I am 35 years old, very healthy with a 3 year DS. We have been trying to conceive our second child for 2 years now. I became pregnant very easily with my first and had an easy pregnancy.
This time nothing.
I have had all the tests the nhs provides. Progesterone normal, I ovulate, DH sperm count is normal, no blockages etc etc. I have tried charting, ov sticks, changed my already pretty healthy diet (cut out refined sugars and have lots more greens etc, and alkalised my body). I take advised supplements and have even tried acupuncture.
I do however have short cycles, sometimes as short as 21 days but averaging 24. This is a little shorter than I had before my DS.
We cannot afford IVF and I am not sure I can face that anyway.
My consultant last month has prescribed me a half dose (25mg) of clomid, which a scan showed on the first round it definitely boosted things even more with a good few mature follicles. I already ovulate but she thought as my cycles are quite short and a little irregular it may give me a boost.
I have been convinced several times I was pregnant (oh how cruel our bodies and brains can be!) but AF always turns up.
I guess what I am asking is does anyone have any other suggestions of things I could try or why I can't conceive time. I am open to theories and alternative methods.
Any experience in this subject and success stories please share.
I try not to stress about it all, but some months it just really gets you down as there is no real 'reason'. The hard thing is watching other mums around get pregnant multiple times so easily.
Thank you for listening!
Anna

Hi ladies,
Hope everyone is enjoying the summer sunshine despite AF's arrival.

Closephine - Awesome news on DH's testosterone levels. Keep us posted on how that affects SC. I hope you are sleeping better, I usually have pre AF insomnia, its so frustrating.

Anna - I'm sorry your friend was unsupportive on the immunological testing. All I can think is that her response was defensive in nature - she may not wanted to consider another cause for her own infertility. There's so many tests, diagnoses, etc. it can be really overwhelming.

Rose - Congrats on the move, its so nice to focus on something positive and a fresh start. Happy home warming to you.

Dizzy- Regrets on your miscarriage. I had one before I conceived my first, it was so incredibly difficult. Welcome to the group.

Olivia - I hope you've found peace and resolution in your decision.

I'm in the midst of my medicated IUI cycle, taking a low dose of gonal-F (gonadtrophin) every evening. I woke up incredibly bloated the morning after my first dose and was irritable the first couple of days. I was feeling really frustrated....infertility feels unfair on so many levels but I've been annoyed that there's no course of treatment prescribed for my husband (he has low SC), all of my tests have been within range, yet I'm the one that has to undergo treatment for us to become pregnant. The good news is that now I've been on the medication for a few days the side effects have lessened. Beginning to feel like myself again.

Ladies ok if I butt in? Please do not give up hope! I want to share my story and if I can give you hope.
I tried for 18 months (I know not massivly long) which for me with my shitty short spotty cycles amounted to 22 cycles. I am now 16 weeks with a much longed for #2.
I spent money on private investigations and the got some scans and tests on nhs there was no obvious cause for my infirtility or my short cycles and spotting we never had dh sperm tested but as we concived dd on the second cycle he was pretty sure there was no problem. I feel like such an idiot now we actually put off trying for a few months incase it happened too soon.
Dont worry I'm not going to tell you to relax I never did I would lie awake after dtd legs raised trying to visulise the sperm swimming towards the egg and genarally freakin out about it leaking out or that not enough went in (crazy or what)! Wasted a shit load of money on opks...and pre seed and a lot of time googling random stuff.
I retreated from life avoided friends and social things dredding the where is no 2? chat I bet your dd is desperate not to be a lonley only(random lady at the park ffs) and the hairdresser who had 2 dgc since I had my dd 'shes beat you to it you better hurry up or your kids wont play together'.
At the end of last year my dr prescribed my anti ds I took them-they didnt help and I stoped after a month as they messed with my cycle but amazingly after well over a year of no hint of a bfp I had a weird long cycle.I never got a bfp but found out from a scan I had been pregnant as there was a big colapsed sack.I was upset but in a weird way it gave me hope, next month I had a chemical followed by my bfp the following month! I still trying to work out what changed after so long.
With the turn in the year I felt more positive and got involved with a few things in my local community. I also spoke to a good friend and my hyper fertile sister about my struggles it really helped to be open about my struggles. I took pre conception vitimins I took vit b and folic acid before and drank a shit load of nettle tea. We also dtd more like every other day through the month rather than everyday mid cycle.
Please dont give up hope xxx

Hi ladies. Thank you crustyoldsocks for your success story. I think we all needed it right about now! All sounds very familiar to me and I am so glad you now have that happy ending. I am about to embark on expensive testing to see if I can find a reason. I can only hope a little miracle happens at some point with or without an explanation or treatment.
Jenny- that sounds difficult with the drugs and yes quite unfair you have to go through all that. Has there been any suggestion if DH talking anything to help SC? Does he take supplements like zinc?
We have all had or currently have a tummy bug that DS brought home from nursery hope we are all fit for our holiday on Sunday! We were supposed to start DTD deed last night but as DH was throwing up that wasn't really an option!!
Hopefully we can manage it tonight. Seriously over the having to have sex at times when you could really do without it!!

Hi ladies,
Crustyoddsocks- (love the name)- thank you. That's reassuring to hear, especially as my cycles seem to becoming shorter and currently am spotting for 6 days and still no period- it's been getting me down trying to understand why it's happening. Did you get pregnant quite easily with your first?

Anna- sorry to hear you're all unwell, bummer- hope you are feeling better soon for your hols. Yes I agree maybe asking DH to dtd not quite on the cards when he's puking 😁.

I was with two girlfriends last night, one of whom is planning her wedding and we were talking about whether or not to invite kids and she said 'so everyone has two skids so that makes... Oh, well not everyone of course- oh I'm sorry," and then looked really awkward. I laughed and my other friend laughed too and it was fine, but it did make me think how everyone is prob talking about my "issue" behind my back and feeling bad. Weird.

Anyway, just really wanting my af to start now, this is day 6 of spotting and I'm fed up- has anyone else had spotting is long pre af?

Forgot to say, good luck with your IUI, Jenny- god the hormone injections don't sound like much fun- well done and Hang in there xx

Rose, I used to spot sometimes about 5 or 6 days before AF but now it's more like 2 days. I can't be sure why but it could have something to do with progesterone levels and may be worth mentioning to your consultant next time. I definitely think it's a sign that things are not quite right but then who knows?! Not the doctors apparently!! and plenty of women have odd spotty cycles and still get preggas.

Hi Annabell and Rose, Im pleased u are glad I shared my story-I just hope its of some use!
Rose I got pregnant really quickly with dd-2nd cycle after coming off the mini pill. I was on the coil for a year or so before trying for #2. I wasnt sure what to blame my random spotting on birth or things settling down after being on the coil-I didnt really think it could be the coil as I understood as soon as it was out the hormones were removed. Its possible I always have had short cycles with spotting as I had been on the pill for about 10 years before dd and then coil thereafter so as my gp pointed out I didnt really know what a real period was like!
It does seem that spotting should be investigated cos it could indicate a problem that but I dont think it should stop u getting pregnant if no cause is found.
I think the seven seas pre conception vits are good-it could be coinsidence but I had a lot less spotting than when I just took vit b iron and folic acid. I went from 4-5 days down to 1-2days.
Annabelle hope u feel better soon and feel up to dtd-good luck with the tests. I think with in reason its worth getting things checked if only to rule out stuff. I always felt more positive when being proactive.
Just one other thing I did do tmi alert...I remembered we dtd around the time we concieved dd in the morning so we gave it a go the cycle we actually concieved #2 probs coinsidence but when working out dates it was around then-worth a shot?!

Hi ladies, sorry I've been quiet for a while, we've been away on hol and there was no internet - very peaceful! But couldn't do my usual incessant googling on ttc!
Hope you're all doing okay, hi dizzy - this is a really supportive thread - everyone has really helped me - I think something like secondary infertility is hard for people in real life to understand- especially when they all seem to get pregnant so damn quickly.
Thanks crusty - it's good to hear of a positive outcome.
Bfn on dpo 10 or 11 and can feel af impending - so here we go again. Am so sick of all this. Have to spend Saturday night with smug fertile couple too so am dreading it. Twice over the last week I have woken up choking - it's really bad - I wonder if it's some kind of anxiety as it is 2 years next week since we started ttc the second, it is scaring me.

Hi all, it's been busy on here lately! Nice to have lots of company but also sad we all have to be here.

Good to hear a success story though - thank you crusty for sharing! I have ordered some nettle leaf tea from Amazon - it seems to be good for lots of things so figure it's worth a go!

Rose - has AF arrived yet? I have had up to 6 days of spotting. This cycle was an average 4. I'm still unsure whether it relates to progesterone, but on the months I've used it, I've had no spotting at all. AF just starts a couple of days after I stop using it.

Jenny - how is your IUI cycle going now? I want to start ours in July. We were going to wait until August but I'm not sure why now. May as well get cracking!

Anna - hope you are over your tummy bug? How are you doing? You sound a like it's all getting you down a bit more than usual?

I'm just same old same old really. Waiting for results of smear test, if normal then will push on with IUI next cycle. I'm shattered as DH has been away since Thursday. No idea how single parents do it. Had a lovely half term with my boy though. He's the best :) I do feel guilty complaining when I read other threads on here from women who would give anything for what I have.

Hi ladies, nice to hear from lots of you. Yes what a shame we are all on here, but it's definitely good to share and have the support.
Closephine- we are better now thanks but Felix hasn't had a solid poo since the bug so hoping they changes soon poor little guy sorry if TMI!!!)
We are actually on holiday as from today but I am checking in prob for the last time in a few days. I have been really struggling lately and last night DH and I had an awful argument it was mostly due to the stress of holiday prep and the fact that DH has been so so busy with work that I have had no support with anything at home. On top of that we were supposed to DTD before we left and that extra pressure just tipped us to breaking point. I totally broke down about the whole thing and it was ugly. The worst part is we didn't DTD and now the first few nights of our holiday we are spending it with friends and there won't be an opportunity. I was seriously upset about missing out on that little chance this month as I am pretty sure I ovulated today. I really am starting to feel like a crazy lady.
Trying to let it go as there is nothing I can do now and at least I won't be wondering this month I guess, and before my laparoscopy too so prob not actually a bad thing.
I have however concluded that sometimes going on holiday is really not worth the stress! It's seriously been a horrendous week mostly because of the holiday build up. How is that right?!
In a few days we head to the beach and will have some more relaxing family time so I am sure it will feel worth it then. DH and I are still a little frosty with each other and I have felt awful about it all as i feel I have ruined the start of what should have been an exciting and lovely holiday. I hate being a female sometimes!
Sorry for the long waffle- just needed to share with the only people I know really understand.
Hugs and baby dust to you all as they say.

Hi all,
Hope you are having a good start to the work week.

Anna - I'm jealous of your holiday. Sorry it started with a rough patch. I also find my DH and I have a tiff before vacations..there's so much to do to prepare with a child in tow I find I'm particularly stressed before going away.

Closephine - The IUI seems to being going well. The gonal-f injections are tolerable and I seem to be responding ok to it. I am getting tired of all the monitoring, I need to go to the clinic every other morning for blood work and ultrasound. It makes mornings before work very hectic. Were you going to do the IUI cycle medicated? Injections or clomid?

Sorry closephine- in reply to your question a while ago- we can't get our heads round our situation- my husband had an op as a child so when we decided to try for our first we had a semen analysis done- it was a satisfying 65mill and we conceived within a couple of months. This time round two results spaced 3 months apart have confirmed he only has 9 mill 😳. We don't understand as we are far healthier 3 years ago. The docs don't seem too concerned and say it can happen.

I have been reading a lot on IVF and I'm starting to get scared. It sounds like a few of you have tried IUI. We have our next consultant app next week where he will tell us the best route to go down. I'm not sure we have enough sperm for IUI.

Anna- I hope you are all recovered. We just all had a stomach bug too it not a fun household to be in. I know what you mean about holidays- my son REFUSES to sleep anywhere different so I just usually feel exhausted after! I have been arguing a lot with my DH too. In fact this time it happened over ovulation time and we only did the deed once!! all because I have turned into a crazy lady that can not move forward in life!

Crustyoddsocks thanks for sharing your story. I can only hope we will all be there one day X

HI ladies, sorry to hear about your argument with DH, Anna- I've also often had arguments around the time of ovulation, I think probably brought on by the whole stress of it all, and then obviously not felt in the least bit like DTDing. I think we had one once when his family were staying, as he didn't want to have sex with them in the next room!

I spotted for a good 6-7 days before AF came on- so weird, cos I honestly thought my period was over as it virtually stopped after 5-6 days, then came on with a vengeance to the point where I was caught out without adequate protection. So frustrating, and weird. But it's something I'll def raise with the consultant in August, and may ask him about trying out progesterone.

To be honest, we've been so stressed trying to sort out our house move, that I haven't had much time to think about fertility, which is good in a way, but also probably doesn't exactly boost my fertility!

Hi all. Justbwindering if you guys wouldn't mind helping me out if possible with some advice? I have a dd from a previous relationship who is 7 in a few weeks. My partner and i began ttc last april and I am yet to actually have a period and have been diagnosed with pcos. Im wondering if anyone knows what sort of treatment I may be offered? Im waiting for an appointment for the fertility clinic and expect it will be in August but i just want to brace myself for crap news really! I know ivf is out of the question but not sure what else i may be offered? If anyone can help it would be greatly appreciated. Tia x

Hi ladies, hope you are all doing okay.
annabel - sorry you had such a stressful time before going away, we often argue a lot before a holiday, it's very stressful, hope your hols are good though.
I've had a bad few days - 2 'happy' announcements at work - one is a second baby for a woman who got pregnant with her first when we were ttc this time and she decided she wanted another baby straightaway so boom it happens immediately- because apparently it's just that easy . I want to run away and not go to work anymore. I've cried lots over the last few days. Oh and some other 'advice' from friends - I need to relax, well I can come and bring ds to play with their children so it will be like he's got a brother and sister anyway and another one - I just need to be grateful and move on! As if I'm not grateful to have ds? That's the worst bit about secondary infertility- people think you're not happy with your dc when he's so perfect that really upsets me

Oh my heart goes out you mrskittenpie. It's the guilt that's thrown in that makes it worse. My husband and I had another argument last night where he says he dreads coming home from work and seeing me. I don't even blame him to be honest and it's just tearing us apart. I wish I could accept it and move on but I just can't. Life feels like it's on pause. I'm going to visit my heavily pregnant today who is having her second. She tried for hers way after hers. I don't even recognise this jealous bitter person I have become. Sending you lots of love xxx

Hi all

Sorry if I miss anyone - I'm on my phone and supposed to be working while ds is at nursery but thought I'd try and catch up on here instead!

Anna - so sorry to hear you and DH have been arguing. This infertility rubbish puts such a hideous amount of stress on a relationship. I figure if we can get through this we'll get through anything. When is your laparoscopy? I was told we mustn't ttc in that month. I then asked about it on here and a few ladies suggested a risk of eptopic and I decided it definitely wasn't worth th risk.

Mysterious - I'm afraid I don't really know anything about pcos but I believe you may be prescribed clomid in the first instance to help you with ovulation. Good luck!

MrsKitten - I've lost count of the number of times I've been told 'at least you've got one' by people with about 10 kids themselves (ok maybe just 2 or 3 but still...). I will be forever grateful for the child I have. He is my entire world. I love him more than anything and because of that, my desire to give him a sibling is HUGE. He is utterly desperate for one. So perhaps they should try telling my four year old to be grateful for his imaginary baby brother... he doesn't need a real one?! No, think not. Idiots.

Katy - that brings me on to my final point. Yes, I too don't understand where all this jealousy had come from. Barely an acquaintance on fb announced expecting a second the other day. Their first is barely 1. I reacted by saying out loud, 'screw you' and deleting him. Think DH was a bit shocked I cared so much about someone he used to go to school with having another child. I was pretty shocked too. Why the hell do I care?! (Ok don't answer that. I know why really).

Trying to be proactive at the mo. Had my smear result which was normal so I'm going back on the progesterone and we may start IUI in July of DHs semen analysis has come back in time and seen some improvement (everything crossed for that one). Jenny - I will be using gonal F too I think so will need your knowledge. Have you have your 'insemination' yet? God I despise that word!!!

Thanks close. Sorry for the random jump in last night....it was late and i had been on a google fest. Would be nice to get to know you all as I am in a group with pcos ladies but they're all ttc their first so it feels a bit weird. They're absolutely lovely but I feel a bit out of place since I already have a dd.
Little bit about myself, I turned 30 this year and as I said, have a dd who will be 7 at the end of the month. Pcos is the most likely culprit of my troubles ttc, it appeared out of nowhere really. Had regularish cycles when i was not using hormonal contraception. Took the mini pill for 5 months and there disappeared my period for ever it would seem! Weve been referred to the clinic and are just waiting for an appointment.

I can relate to what you guys are saying about the jealousy. A girl I used to work with had a dd a few months before I did. We were pregnant for about 4/5 months together. For some reason her announcing her pregnancy seems to have really pissed me off. Not her fault i can't conceive but if she is having one god damn it I should be too. It is irrational and ridiculous but its just how I feel.
How about you guys? How old is/are your child/ren? How long have you been trying and do any of you know the cause? X

Hi, just wondering if I can join? I've been lurking for a while! I've got a dd who is 3 in August. We started trying when she was 11 months old so pretty much 2 years now! I can't believe this is happening to me. My sister struggled to have her second but it only took just over a year in the end. I remember thinking I'm sure I won't have any problem having another one... hmm now I feel like an idiot!

I totally understand about the jealousy and bitterness, I've hidden more than a couple of people on facebook for daring to be pregnant with their second or third I keep bumping into mums from my baby group and they've all had a second, it's so devastating and trying to paste a smile on and look chuffed for them is getting harder and harder! Anyway, just wanted to say hi and say reading your messages makes me feel less alone and that I'm not the only one!

Oh, and my mum seems to take great delight in telling me about pregnancy announcements (even though she knows i'm struggling to conceive) but every time she'll say...so and so used ovulation kits, have you tried those???? aaaarrrrgggghhhhh yes mother I have! I think she thinks she's helping

Hi eggs!! Im a newbie too!

My family don't know we are ttc but friends do. Sometimes they tell me to relax which makes me want to punch them in the face even though they mean well.

My cousin posted her 12 week scan on fb. I never actually see her but it still was a bit like 'for gods sake, everyone is bloody pregnant except me'

Closephine- can I ask what your husbands sperm analysis was and how (if you have) managed to increase it?

Mysterious- my boy is 2.5 years and we've been trying coming up to 2 years now. Recently discovered my husband's count massively dropped. Now going to start the process of IVF (as well as moving house!) I'm not sure about pcos. Good luck with your fertility appointment. I have found all this waiting so hard!

Eggsnbacon - I have deleted so many Facebook friends too! I literally find it an insult. You really aren't alone. It just feels like it in everyday life, do you know the reason for your problems?

So I visited my heavily pregnant friend today. She had her first a few weeks before me. She showed me her nursery and I burst into tears!! How awful is that?! Luckily she was amazing and really listened to my woes. X

Hi everyone, thank you so much for your kind words, they mean such a lot - you ladies are the only ones who really get it and I'm so sorry we all find ourselves in this position but the support is really helpful xxx
katy - we have the rows too, dh will say he can't understand why I can't be satisfied but I know deep down it's hurting him too and that's why I feel such a failure. He rescued a baby yesterday, it's his job, and it was totally the parent's fault for neglecting the child and I just keep thinking how come thoughtless people like that can get pregnant and we can't? I totally get the crying when you saw the nursery too, I would have done exactly the same. In fact I'm currently avoiding a friend who's pregnant with her second as I just couldn't take even listening about it.
I have totally become bitter and jealous too and I'm not sure how to handle it. Went to pick ds up today from his after nursery class and I was sat with 4 parents in a little room waiting to pick their 4yr olds up too, there was one dad with an 18 month old, 2 with newborns and 1 with a massive bump, I was dying inside, not sure how I didn't cry. I was the odd one out totally and couldn't even look at any of them.
bat - ds is 4, we've been ttc second for exactly 2 years now, can't believe it's happening like this, my gp refused to help on the basis that we've got a child. I am going to go back to to the gp though as this month has hit me like a ton of bricks and o can't go on like this.
Hi newbies - everyone here is so supportive and lovely X

Hi mysterious! It's crazy how many of us there are in the same boat, I really thought if you could have one you could have another...naïve!

Katy, I don't really know what my problem is but I'd have a guess at low progesterone...I'll give you some back story...

I turned 34 last weekend (34! wowsers that went quick!) After trying for another one unsuccessfully for over a year I went to the docs for some answers and also because since my periods coming back after having dd i'd been spotting for up to 6 days beforehand. She did the 21 day bloods and 3 day bloods and all usual tests but came back normal. I had ultrasound and internal ultrasound but all ok. She referred me to a gynae consultant who didn't seem concerned at all about spotting or the fact it had been over a year but also did internal and found nothing odd. I asked her about low progesterone (due to the spotting) and she said it was slightly low but still in normal range...She told me I could have tubes blasted but gave me scare stories about the x-ray which put me off a bit!
Now, I know it sounds v odd to be desperate and not take every test going but stupidly at the time I still thought it would happen naturally and I have quite bad white coat syndrome so after we had a chat about it I decided not to have my tubes blasted. I'm regretting that now but I really don't think that's my problem, I'm pretty convinced it's a hormonal imbalance after dd. I have loads of the symptoms. Oh and i'm pretty definite that I ovulate..tests show I do and sonographer could see an egg about to be released when scanning me.

So now I'm having acupuncture, drinking a lot of nettle leaf tea, taking a variety of supplements, doing yoga, drinking apple cider vinegar and trying not to obsess (not working) LIke the rest of you I'm desperate to give my daughter a sibling.

I get the pressue it puts on a relationship too and can sympathise with the arguments. My dp would be happy just to have the one and really doesn't get it.

Mysterious - my ds is 4. He will be 5 in September and that will mark 3 years of ttc as we started on his 2nd birthday! our diagnosis is male factor infertility. My DH has a variable count - sometimes it is 10-12million, others it is down to 1 million. He average man has about 40million. He also has some morphology issues.

Katy - he is working really hard to try and increase it. He went to see Dr Ramsay who is a urologist at the London clinic. It was him who gave us the diagnosis of a variable count. He thinks if we can get it consistently at 14million then IUI should help us conceive. He prescribed him tamoxifen which has so far shown to increase his testosterone. He has a semen analysis next week to see if it's done anything for his count (keep all your fingers and toes crossed for us please ladies, it's probably our most important test so far!!). He is also taking a huge amount of vitamins including proxeed, coenzyme q10, b vitamins and a few others. He's eating super healthily too. He's being brill at the mo!

Eggsnbacon - are you talking about the HSG where they put dye through your tubes to see if there are any obstructions? I had it done as one of my first tests and it really was fine. Just like a smear but with an X-ray machine over your tummy. I have terrible anxiety with regards to my health, so I understand where you're coming from but I think it's better to take all the tests offered personally! I also have spotting before my AF but all tests have shown I'm ok. However, I am starting to use progesterone again from this month as I'm not taking any chances anymore.

Anna (or anyone else who has looked into this) - you have mentioned before about making your body more alkaline. Do you use the ph test strips? My DH ordered some a few weeks ago and although my saliva was coming out neutral to alkaline my urine has always been quite badly acidic. My nettle leaf tea arrived yesterday (supposed to be good at alkanising the body) and my urine test this morning is a respectable 7.5 (anything higher than 7 being alkaline). Is it the tea? Can it work that quick? No idea! But will be drinking it every day now that's for sure!

Closephine- can I ask exactly what he is taking? Our consultant just seems to think two low counts means straight to IVF. no mention of seeing anyone else. We are both taking pregecare conception but obviously they aren't doing much. Feel we should be taking more!

Sorry short and sweet trying to rush to work and didn't want to forget to ask! Xx