Infertility Rant!

[loopylou1984]

Thread two moving on from infertility meltdown!
Feel free to join us to rant about any part of the infertility journey

Shell - I think you'll be fine, you've been through so much, I know you can cope with the pain.

I think the hycosy and hsg are fairly similar, I think the only difference is the method used to image it.

So I got the call from the clinic today, they reiterated how surprised they were that it hadn't worked, and I have a consultation booked in for 15th December to discuss implantation issues, and our nhs referral which they have now received. It's not with the consultant that did our transfer as he is on holiday for December, this is making me a bit nervous which is silly because I'm sure this one is just as good. They said we could wait and see ours in January but that would mean we def couldn't cycle in January which I wasn't ok with. Xx

Thanks sammy. So very sweet of you to be offering me words of encouragement about my labor, when you are the last person I should be whinging to.

I too was really surprised that it hadn't worked. You made a few frozen day 5 embryos which is very rare in IVF cycles, so I thought you must make great quality eggs and sperm. Then you had a natural cycle so there were no drugs to interfere with your uterine lining hormones.

I can understand you being nervous with a new consultant if you were happy with the last one. But I can also definitely understand not wanting to wait another whole cycle before trying again. Every day goes so slowly when you are counting down to an IVF cycle, and an extra month of waiting and wondering really does your head in. 15th isn't that far away. Would that mean you would be able to have the scratch in time for another go in January if the Dr agrees to it?

I guess so if that's what they recommend, only 1 more week to wait until I'll find out.

It's so nice to talk to someone who understands. People who haven't been through this are nice, but say things like 'well you've waited 2 years, 1 more month won't make much difference'

Dh has even said that to me! It's ok for him, he doesn't have a clock ticking away!

Yes, those well meaning but frustrating comments! I regularly got 'when you forget, it will happen' which just made me want to punch them! I ended up just giving up talking to people in real life because no one could understand and it was more frustrating than a release. Hence Mumsnet was my lifeline.

I took that DVD to the post office yesterday to find out how many stamps I need to send it. I had lots of stamps at home so came home and started sticking, but I was one stamp short. So I shall buy it today and pop it in the post on it's way to you. Not sure how long it will take with me being in Australia and then it being Christmas on top of that.

Mine too Shell, I honestly don't think I would have got through the last year without you ladies to talk to.

I'm in the waiting room at the clinic awaiting my counselling appointment, not really sure what to expect. Its free so I thought I might as well come along. Xx

Thank you for the dvd too, I hope it hasn't cost you too much to send it?

Can I ask, what are your thoughts on immune testing? Xx

Like I said, I had lots of spare stamps at home just sitting there so I am not out of pocket hardly anything so don't worry about it.

Hope the counseling appointment went well. My clinic offered that for free as well (well not really free since I was paying $$$$ for the IVF cycle) but the lady was very prim and proper and didn't really suit me for IVF counseling. Hope you came away feeling better.

To be honest, while I did LOTS of research while going through my 11 IVF attempts, I did not do much research on immune testing. I guess I was lucky that I already had my son who I conceived naturally, so I was able to conclude that I did not have any immune issues.

I know you said recently 'there is no chance of natural conception' but I have forgotten exactly what your diagnosis is. You will have to remind me. Even if you have a diagnosis, I guess there is no harm in doing immune testing just to tick one more box that everything is okay in that department and put your mind at ease. Or is it rather costly over there?

The counselling was ok, but I find those kind of one sided conversations really awkward! I'm not good at talking about myself. She said I should be able to get another free session seeing as we've had 4 attempts so I might book in another after I find out what's happening after next weeks appointment.

We don't have a diagnosis, that's what's got me wondering. I suppose there is a chance of natural conception, but after two years of trying it doesn't seem likely. Xx

Don't forget it took us over 2 years and we conceived naturally :-) you have similar low morphology issues don't you? Has your dh had any recent tests? Any improvement? Is he taking any supplements? I have every faith you will get your baby soon x

Thanks chops. How're you doing? How's baby chops? Can you tell us his name?

Yeah low morph on original SA but most recent one was 5% and no one seems worried. We made 6 embies, 5 of which survived, without icsi so it can't be that bad.

He's taking vit C, and Brazil nuts for the selenium.

I guess I'm just terrified that there is something underlying that is going to prevent it from working. Xx

Lovely of you to pop in chops considering how busy and tired you must be now. How are you coping with it all - breastfeeding all going well? - coping with sleepless nights?

I can certainly understand you worrying about your thin lining and wondering about immune testing as a possibility then sammy if you have been given the all clear on hyscosy, good AMH and seen through IVF that 6 eggs were able to fertilise and a whopping 5 make it all the way to day 5 - kinda only leaves implantation issues as the only untested possibility.

Bet your just hanging out for next weeks appointment so you can have some clear guidelines about what will change for your January attempt. I am anxious to find out and it's not even my IVF cycle, so I can only imagine how you feel!

Would they test you for implantation issues? Or would you have to wait for many failed attempts?! Which would be awful.

I'm shattered from sleep deprivation shell! He feeds a lot at night and not so much during the day! I guess I should have been expecting it but experiencing it is different! At least my body is nearly recovered from birth now so I can cope better. Dh went back to work today so first day going it alone and no one to bring me food and drink!

sammy baby chops I called Geren. We have chosen a very rare name for him :-)

I think as much as you know to expect it, there is nothing that can prepare you for it anyway chops. I don't know exactly why - but God does seem to have designed babies to feed at night in the first few weeks of life. I've read that when growing in utero, they are naturally rocked to sleep by Mum's movements during the day and are more awake at night. Then when they are born, our prolactin rises during the night time and surges even more in response to feeding. This needs to happen our our milk supply would diminish by 3 months when our prolactin levels which were up to 500 at birth are as low as 60. Don't know if knowing the science is any help!?!?

I have read studies that show mothers and babies are biologically designed to co-sleep and that mother and baby then fall into the same sleep as opposed to when you sleep in a separate bed and are woken by a cry while in the deep stage of sleep. I plan to co-sleep and IN THEORY, should not be as sleep deprived - but it's easy for me to say now! I might find myself being a hypocrite when I am complaining about sleep deprivation come April!

I worry too much to co sleep shell he's just in the Moses basket next to the bed. I kind of knew the science. I think a lot of childbirth and feeding comes from our caveman days. We've just not evolved for this!

Can totally understand being to paranoid to co sleep. Yes, I think back in caveman days, the men would have been out hunting and you probably would have been able to rest and sleep during the day while the other women of the tribe fed and looked after you. Now we have to do it alone! You must be doing an amazing job to be able to find time to come on here and say hello.

Re marking place...

Hey, how is everyone?

I had my appointment today, the result of which is we're going to do a medicated frozen in the new year. Well sort of medicated.... I'm not going to suppress my natural cycle, but just take the estrogen to try to thicken my lining more. It's going to be a higher dose initially in the hope that it reaches a good thickness quickly.

Apparently on my fresh go when I got ohss my lining was 7.4mm so much better!

This is likely to be starting at the end of jan now as I'm already a few dpo this cycle and fitting me in at the beginning of jan might be a struggle. They said they'd try though. Xx

Glad you've got a plan sammy :-)

Me? I'm seriously sleep deprived!

Good luck for the next cycle sammy! I hope you have a lovely relaxing Christmas before the next round of appointments.

Is baby Geren not sleeping well chops? (Great name by the way!) My boys only went 2 to 3 hours between feeds at the beginning but are now up to around 5 hours. I guess I can't complain much as they are only 10 weeks still (or 7 if they'd gone full term) and are starving when they do wake up!

Feeding every 2 hours ruby and hard to settle down after so not getting many naps in! I'm hoping he slows down in next few weeks. I feel into the chest of drawers yesterday and into the Moses basket this morning I'm so tired!!

Thanks girls
Hope you manage to get some sleep soon. Xx

Oh, that sounds tiring chops. I would feed my son lying in bed with me at night and he would then go straight back to sleep, so not too much disturbance on my part. I can imagine it must be extra draining if you are also spending time settling him after. Perhaps I just got lucky first time - might be in for a rude shock!

Lovely to hear from you Ruby. Hopefully your words give chops some reassurance that the feeding will become more spaced in the next few weeks!

sammy, really hoping they can fit you in early Jan instead of having to wait a whole extra cycle! Interesting that in your fresh cycle, your estrogen levels were so high that you got OHSS, and yet your lining which is supposed to thicken in response to estrogen levels was still only 7.4 (which is obviously thicker than your frozen cycle, but still not the 9-0mm some clinics on other sites recommend as minimum). Do I recall correctly that you were on the pill and thought this was a side effect? So what's the go now - do you just wait for a call to say if they can fit you in early Jan? Or are you allowed to do a bit or ringing as this cycle comes to an end and bit a bit pushy?

I will call then when af arrives if I haven't heard from them, but really I think it will be the next cycle. They're really busy.

Yeah I'm wondering if it was the pill, but the consultant said there's really no way of knowing. They are more than happy with 6.5mm, and he pointed out that pregnancies occur with no lining (ectopic). He didn't argue that 8mm would be ideal, just that it's not essential. I'm going to go with it for this FET and see what happens, although am trying everything possible to thicken it up! Including putting on some weight as he said being underweight can actually cause a thin lining. Plus if we need to go for a nhs fresh cycle my bmi has to be 19, and at the moment it's 19.04 - so no room to lose any! Xx

I have always been in the opposite boat of having a BMI just under 25 and struggled to lose a few extra kilos I wanted to during my IVF treatments - so I am envious of your BMI of 19 and it being an effort for you to put on weight! Although obviously it's not good if it's possibly affecting your lining. Makes sense about the weight helping with your lining sammy as I know that fat produces estrogen and estrogen is responsible for the lining thickening. Enjoy the christmas food and pudding!