Would you be my Infertility/Clomid/Follicle tracking friend please?!

[scienceteachergeek]

Hi there ladies

I’m really looking for a ‘clomid friend’ or ‘infertility pal’!

I’m 30, DH is 38. I came off the pill July 2013 to regulate my cycles and ended 15yrs of antidepressants in March 2014 as I’d read that was the best plan if possible.

I’d been having regular 27/30day cycles since I came off the pill but after no positive tests, buying OPKs and the Clearblue Advanced Fertility Monitor, plus charting temps and monitoring my cervix and mucus it quickly became apparent that I wasn’t ovulating. After all the blood tests, sperm analysis, trans-vaginal scans and the HSG it showed that he was fine but I wasn’t ovulating, but there was not obvious reason why.

Fast forward to now, 2yrs since coming off the pill, I have been prescribed clomid and have taken my first 5 tablets. I’m day 12 today and have been having follicle tracking to check if the drugs have worked. My largest follicle was 16.4mm today and have to go back on Wednesday to check it again.

Do any of you know if that’s a good size? Or have any experiences of being further down the clomid path? Or are you in a similar position? I just feel like I’m going out of my mind and could really use a buddy!

Thanks for reading and hugs to you all. Interested in hearing from any of you xxx

I've just noticed how strong the "pregnant" line on the frer is compared to the "control" line. I've never had one that strong. Everything crossed for a sticky one. How many w+d are you. Sorry for all the questions I'm just so excited.

Omg congratulations! Fingers crossed for you! Let us know all the details

I'm a total lurker on this thread but just had to post massive congratulations Flat

Thanks so much everyone. I just do not believe it. I'm a bit scared to go to the doctor in case they do a proper test and say I'm not actually pregnant and that those three tests LIED. I have had so many dreams where I'm pregnant then wake up...this morning felt exactly the same...I'm just too scared to hope. Also, even if I am, I am so aware of the risks having seen what you lovely ladies have been through .

Thank you so much though, I really appreciate it.

Vap - I have no idea about timings. I started the expensive clearblue OPKs (which I haven't used for months) on CD11 and until CD20 they just came up negative every day. I then just gave up and assumed I wasn't going to ovulate and didn't want to waste more money. If I genuinely am pregnant, I must have ovulated really early (like, CD10 or something, which is unheard of for me). It is just unbelievable. Only yesterday I was talking to my SIL (who struggled for years to conceive then gave birth about a month ago) and I told her I could no longer imagine actually getting pregnant...that I just didn't believe it could happen for us.

Banana, Lily - Thank you SO much.

NewLeaf, Science - I am really sorry you are both being baby bombed again. You're both such lovely people I know you will wish me well, but I understand how hard it is to see YET ANOTHER person fall pregnant (even if I am still in the very very early stages).

Chocolate - Thank you so much for coming on and saying that. I really appreciate that . What is your story? Feel free to come and join us . We're always open for new recruits !

Thanks for the welcome Flat. I bet you are so excited but understand completely about not believing it!

I hope the rest of your ladies dont mind if I join. We're ttc our first - I had a mc this time last year after only a couple of months trying but nothing since frustratingly.

I've been seeing a consultant now for a few months and tried clomid although it seems I ovulate fine so only tried that twice. I am booked in for a laparoscopy next week as he has scanned me for a few months now and as I'm ovulating OK and my lining is a good thickness he thinks there may be endometriosis or a blockage. I always have pretty bad periods so hopefully it will help with that at least.

Just hate the unknown and not knowing if it will happen at all.....

OMG!!!!! I came on here to rant and my rantiness just dissipated with flats news!!!!!

A huge, massive, ginormous congratulations. now you can smugly sit in the office amongst the 4-month-pregnant people with a secret smile to yourself.

Must have been all that "relaxing" on holiday that helped!!!

Ok, I will have a brief rant... i just got told that "being stressed won't help your 'situation'. too much adrenaline is not beneficial to TTC" No idea how that is helpful or how anyone could imagine that NOT evoking feelings of rage.

Anyway!. flat I am super happy for you and this really honestly only gives hope to us all, although as you know I do wish it will be me soon!!

Consultant appointment on Thursday, counting down. ...

Welcome chocolate I love your username. Super happy to have another on the thread amongst science and I before this turns into a pregnancy only thread Although if we keep going at this success rate then thats fine by me!!! Hope you are enjoying your break away with DH science I think you have to put your mental health and needs as top priority sometimes, you can't think straight if you are too upset. Speaking to myself here too as I had a mini meltdown this morning over logistics and needing to be everywhere at once.

CD41, 11DPO here... time to go POAS and will be doing so for the next few days......

Thanks again everyone. I don’t really dare believe it. I’ve been feeling sick and had “toilet issues” the past few days (Sorry – TMI). At first I thought it must have been something I ate on holiday…then I thought I may have caught something (God knows what or how) from my pets as they’ve been poorly (I know, I know). The other day I had a fleeting thought of “Could I maybe…?” but I instantly pushed it out of my mind as I have been there so many times before and it has only ever ended up with me being in tears. Anyway, I’m working away for a few days and so I was packing last night and decided to pack a pregnancy test on the basis that I would test on Tuesday if my period still hadn’t come. I don’t know why, as I was Cd28 yesterday so not necessarily “late” but I just decided to do it there and then, thinking it would put my mind at ease over the next few days. I actually genuinely nearly had a heart attack when I saw the second line. I actually called DH to do the two other tests, just to make sure I wasn’t doing it wrong!

Welcome Chocolate - We’re more than happy to invite you to the gang!

I am so sorry about your miscarriage. How far gone were you? That’s horrible for you and I’m so sorry you had to go through that. This TTC business is so cruel. Good luck with your laparoscopy next week. Hopefully they’ll find nothing wrong, but if they do, then they’re better placed to treat you and hopefully help you have more success with TTC.

I think you’re so right: the not knowing IF it will happen is the worst. I have always said I would be fine to wait another year, 2 years, even 3 years if I KNEW that it would happen in the end. It’s horrible having no certainty.

I agree – I love your username! Although the “27” makes me suspect that you may be a twenty-something and therefore we’re all insanely jealous of you .

Thanks NewLeaf. That’s exactly what happened! I just relaxed and LOOK WHAT HAPPENED…and yes, it happened when I least expected it…and yes, once we looked at IVF and adoption we insta-diffed [shoots self in head]. In all seriousness, if there’s any “reason” why it has happened now I think it is a) 99% luck; and b) possibly the healthy eating regime we’ve been on (as DH has sperm issues, so has been eating loads of the “right” foods and taking supplements for over a year…and had been off booze for a few months).

Oh I totally know what you mean. Even when you’re really happy for the other person, like we all are when something goes right on this thread, there will always be that part of you that thinks “Why can’t that be me?” and “Will it ever be my turn?”. I know it doesn’t count for much, but I really really really hope that you, Science, Lily and Chocolate all get your babies soon.

Oh no! Sorry about the meltdown. Are you ok? What happened? You’re so busy jetting all over the place it is BOUND to catch up with you at some point and cause a little meltdown.

Good luck POAS.

Evening all

Been so ridiculously tired recently I've not been able to reply to all your posts. We have started game of thrones again. Watched 8 hours of it yesterday as I was incapable of getting up from the sofa. In a hotel tonight. Had to post a pic of the mini bar! The bar of toblerone is only £2.50 I would be tempted if I hadn't stuffed myself on the most amazing nachos for dinner.

I'm just so excited for you flat I know I've said it before but it's just fantastic! It is easier to get excited when you're not still waiting for the luck to happen. I was waiting for someone to say "you relaxed and look what happened" haha. Of course! All that dtd you've been doing for the past couple of years didn't work because you were trying . Everything crossed this goes smoothly for you. Get booking that early scan.

newleaf I really hope Thursday's appointment goes well, do you know what to expect from it? Fingers crossed for your poas, did you do one today? Or saving yourself for tomorrow? How is the wrist? How long does it take for something like that take to heal?

chocolate welcome! Sorry you've found yourself here but we are a supportive bunch. Hope your laporoscopy goes well, is it similar to a Hycosy where they shoot dye through your tubes? If it is they say you could have increased fertility for a couple of months after due to the damage caused when they are in there. You may be one of the lucky ones and get caught really soon after. Fingers crossed.

science hope your holiday gives you the r&r you need. So pleased to hear about your new job! Hope you get to start sooner rather than later, great about sick and maternity pay, what a relief after the crap package you have at your current place. Are you ovulating on your clomid? Best of luck for cycle 5.

banana other than the excruciating pain how are you getting on? Do you have any pregnancy symptoms? Or is the pain masking anything else? I feel for mr banana, not surprised he is terrified about you having a seizure, is he quite good when it comes down to it and you have one? Is it dangerous for baby if you have one? I'd hope that there was enough stuff around baby to keep it safe. Really hope you don't have one. Is dh able to go to work still or does he have to stay home and keep an eye on you. Hope you don't get too bored sitting about. Get yourself a good box set to keep yourself entertained.

lily how have you got on dtd? Do you think you managed to catch ov? I wouldn't worry about boozing, you're more likely to be a little more chilled out with some booze. I'm pretty sure we conceived on my Xmas do where I think I drank more then than any night for the rest of the year so it's total bollocks when people say about stopping drinking. Good luck with giving up booze for lent. Mr vap gave up in Jan and had his 1st drink on Friday after the scan, 6 weeks! I was mightily impressed. I've never managed that long. Well, of course I've beaten that being pregnant but it's not the same as just doing it with just will power to spur you on.

Pleased to report nothing is going on here at all, other than tiredness and mad hunger. That toblerone is looking more manageable now... The 2nd trimester is supposed to be all unicorns and rainbows so I'm looking forward to that and actually managing to do more than an average of 3000 steps per day. Ref the folic acid, was too tired to bother with the faff of going to the dr's today, it's such a palaver having to drive into town, park underground and use the lift, go to the pharmacy etc so won't be able to collect them until Wednesday or Thursday at the earliest, depending on when I get home. Although, I have lost 5lbs since getting pregnant which actually takes me under the 30bmi so coupled with that, the lack of info on using it for high bmi and the fact that's it's all just too late to have any effect I'm not that fussed. Will probably regret that if I have issues later on, but I don't suppose an extra 2-3 days of not taking it can't make that much difference.

Fingers crossed for everyone, those pregnant and those who hope to be.

Ah thanks v much for the warm welcome

flat haha! no don't worry - I've just turned 34 so not a spring chicken! Do you have any symptoms at all? So fab that it's happened for you.

vap glad to hear your pregnancy is going well. I wouldn't stress re the folic acid as think if you take it for a while the effect is cumulative so your system should be stocked up as it were!

newleaf gah! I hate all the "you're too stressed" and "it will happen" it's like some sort of infertility bingo!! I spoke to a lady once who convinced me stress has nothing to do with it by pointing out that women get pregnant in war zones - I've never been in a war zone but imagine it's pretty stressful!!!

Re the laparoscopy , they check your tubes but also your uterus etc and can remove any endo or fibroids. It's under a general anaesthetic and I'm expecting to be pretty sore after.

Hi everyone and welcome Chocolate!

So today is CD 18. We pretty much followed the Clomid plan for DTD which is like SMEP to be honest. I got a positive OPK on cycle day 13 and ovulated on cd 14. So I keep saying we have as much chance as anyone else (who has no problems) - 25% :).

I'm on my phone so can't read all posts and reply back to everyone but I hope everyone is doing ok. Let's hope for the next BFP soon!**

vap did u eat the toblerone? Those mini wines always look so cute to me... Although in your "situation" I guess not so much!!

BFN again today so I have packed tampons for my trip, whoop de do... Standard. Last cycle I didn't buy tampons as a way to jinx myself but instead I just got caught red handed and had to get my mopey self off to the store to buy some. So that plan didn't work.

Today I am flying to England for a week. Cross country as usual needing to be in London for work meetings and Devon for in laws who need my help and my doctors appointment.

banana how are you doing now with the pain management and epilepsy meds. It's so complicated for some and so easy for others they just open their legs, sail thru a pregnancy and pop out a kidlet... Or three....

flat what does your husband think to it all? It's so ironic isn't it with the IVF abroad, adoption, holiday, relaxing... Makes me laugh...! How are u feeling?

lily I am so envious of your clockwork cycles! CD42 here and I ovulated on cd30!!!! Isn't that insane. Talk about prolonging the pain of TTC. Angry with body!!!

Did you ladies see this?

It's HOW much to raise a child?
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-35582644

Best get saving esp preggo pals.... Luckily it's spread over 21 years . And if only a semi cost that much!!! Maybe in Wales or Scotland!!!!! Definitely not in the south!

I've never been like clockwork before though NewLeaf! It's all very weird and new to me. What dose Clomid are you on at the mo?

Aha newleaf that video made me laugh, but is also kind of scary!

I'm not anticipating it will cost much for the 1st year at all, we are going to cloth nappy which is a bigger cost initially but can be sold on for a good price or reused for a 2nd child if we are that lucky we can have 2. And are super lucky that bro and sil have all the baby stuff that very conveniently their 9 month old is rapidly growing out of which has already been offered to be dropped off.

Did anyone's parents actually fund them through uni? Mine certainly didn't and I have a whopping student loan still to prove it. Only can think of 1 person from uni whose parents funded them.

Don't read the DM article about the little girl learning she is getting a second baby brother. The mum has posted a scan picture saying she is happy but wanted a girl so bad. She has a girl!!!! And it's her 3rd baby! It's made me so flipping cross!!!!!!!

Flat how are you feeling? How is Mr Flat? I am so glad the others chipped in with the ‘all you had to do was go on holiday / get drunk / relax / plan for IVF or adoption / stop trying’ quip!! Brilliant!! Seriously though, absolutely thrilled for you and have everything crossed. So exciting! I suspect that if you go to the GP that they will say if you’ve done a home test that you are therefore pregnant, as the tests they use aren’t any different to HPTs, and most won’t do blood tests (as if it’s come up on a HPT, it’s def enough to be detected on a blood test). Amazing news!

chocolate welcome!! I’m so very sorry to hear about your mc. Good luck with your lap - my consultant is an endo specialist (I don’t have endo myself) and is a big advocate of doing a lap to look at the uterine environment: he said he’s had so so many patients who’ve gone round and round being told they are unexplained, and then he’s gone in with a camera, and found endo or polyps or fibroids, treated it, and then they’ve got pregnant. I hope you get some answers! You’re 100% right about the fertility and war zones - my consultant said stress didn’t cause infertility (although it can delay ovulation) but infertility definitely caused stress!

science been thinking about you and Mr Science a lot, hope you’re hanging in there. Huge congrats on the new job, so so pleased for you, it sounds like a really terrific opportunity. Hope you are having a terrific and much-needed break!

Newleaf how is the wrist? Everything crossed for your appt on Thurs. Huge hugs for AF - sod’s law totally doesn’t work. When I was trying to will AF to arrive for both IVF cycles (and the cancelled one) I tried to invoke sod’s law by wearing white knickers with no liner, to no avail. Hope things are OK with your in laws, and waves from my bit of London to wherever you are

Re: that video about the cost to raise a child, tbh the biggest cost is childcare. Everyone I know who has sprogged says their biggest outgoings are the mortgage and fees for nursery, everything else is small beans. Tell you what, as we’re £16k down on IVF so far, if the embryo on board does turn into a person, they’re totally going down the mines to earn their keep!!

Lily hope the bonkathon has been productive and you’re not having to ice your lady bits! Ugh, those ‘I wanted a boy/girl’ people need to just bloody DO ONE. Oh, you won the lottery and now you’re whinging? FFS

Vap cor look at your minibar, woof! PMSL at unicorns and rainbows, please do report back from unicorn land when you get there

Pain isn’t excruciating although if I tried to do a day sitting at the office I would likely say very different - I’m basically having to manage life to manage the pain as opposed to the other way around.

Symptom wise the main one is cramping - generally low level, ike period pain, although last night it was so strong it woke me up, and made me feel quite queasy -had to do some pretty deep breathing until it abated. It subsided, and no bleeding on anything, just pretty full on. Emailed the Dr’s secretary this morning, she checked with him and said it was completely normal. just the uterus stretching and growing. It’s only teeny tiny (assuming there is an embryo in there, and it’s not a blighted ovum), how much room does it need in there?! Is it doing renovations?! Otherwise apart from a bit of shortness of breath (apparently normal esp if you’re on progesterone) nothing much to report.

Mr banana has been brilliant the few times I’ve had a seizure - it’s much worse for the families than it is for the sufferer, as we don’t have to see ourselves turning blue and have to stop us from injuring ourselves. He works from home so he’s around which isn’t necessary but he def prefers! The Dr said unless I was in the bath or at the top of the stairs, a seizure wouldn’t do an embryo or foetus any harm - it’s only if I was in status epilepticus (where the seizure won’t stop and goes on for ages and ages) that it would be a problem. I haven’t had one since Nov 14 so am hopeful I will remain seizure free.

My uber healthy egg quality IVF diet has gone out the window, as all I want to eat is absolute crap right now!!

Vap - here's the Dara O'Briain sketch on NCT classes, so funny

banana that has just has me in fits of laughter, brilliant

Massive post coming up this weekend! I've been bombed at work so haven't seen the light of day (or the light of Mumsnet) for days. Not great when I'm trying to relax.

I hope you're all ok. I have everything crossed for you girls. We've all been through so much together (including lurker Chocolate who has been there in spirit all along!). I just really hope all of us get our happy endings (not the rude type of "happy ending" I'll add...).

Thinking of you all. I'm definitely staying put on this thread x

Well I'm home from a few days in Porlock! What wonderful news Flat!!! I'm so pleased for you. Let's hope it's catching and that we can all move onto a more positive thread title when we reach the maximum posts on this one!

Hope the preggo crew are all well, three of you now!

Welcome chocolate!

I'm day11 today so the shagathon has begun, if not a little early, due to being away! The clomid wasn't so pleasant this month, crippling headaches and just awful mood like January's cycle. Sobbed my way through a lot of the holiday as still can't get out of my head how different things could have been if we'd still got Nou. Being babybombed by a girl I used to teach wasn't great either!

Thanks to those who have said nice things and thought about us. Very lovely of you. My consultant has decided what to do about my tumour so I have that appointment coming up.

Let's have some more wonderful news. Many congrats again Flat! xxx

Good weekend ladies

Firstly, that Dara O'Brien sketch was amazing! Hilarious. I saw him a few years ago and he was absolutely brilliant. If we get that far, DH will NOT be able to stay quiet if they suggest a tear is better than a cut .

Chocolate - How are you doing? Are you still having the laparoscopy this week? How are you feeling about it all? I had one back in July and it was fine. I posted back then, but basically I was fine physically (quite sore, but certainly not in agonising pain or anything) but it took me a while to "emotionally" get over the whole thing (I'm quite a hysterical person, so I had assumed they would find everything under the sun...so I'd mentally exhausted myself before I even went under). Is DP able to come to the hospital with you? Do you have people around you for the few days afterwards? Very best of luck. I appreciate you won't feel much like posting, but do let us know how you get on when you feel ready.

Lily - How is the 2WW going? How are things generally?

NewLeaf - How is your week in England going? Have you had 5 minutes to get some rest? Hope you have a productive week . How did it go on Thursday?

Banana - How are the symptoms? Any worse/better? How far gone are you? Are you having scans and stuff?

Science - Hope the shagathon's going ok. I'm sorry Clomid has been icky and you don't feel great. I'm also so sorry about everything with Nou. It must feel absolutely awful and you must feel devastated. You're so brave to have picked yourself up and not only gone back to work, but kicked ass at an interview and got a new job! Just take each day as it comes, because there are bound to be times when it hits you hard and you think about what should have been. We are all here for you lovely.

As for the tumour, that's great that there's a plan and they're ready to act. Keep us posted with everything.

Vap - How are you getting on? Still super tired?

I wouldn't stress about the cost of having a child. That's spread over 21 years. Also how have they really measured it? The cost of raising a child in central London, sending it to boarding school from ages 4 - 18 or paying for it to do every after-school activity under the sun, buying it 20 expensive presents for every Christmas and birthday then buying it a Ferrari for it's 18th birthday will be a very different level of expenditure to living in a "normal" place, sending it to a state school, being restraint with how much you spoil it and not being fussy about using some hand-me-downs now and again (although of course we will ALL want to buy a few new things for the baby...but it doesn't all have to be "White Company" clothes and stuff). I think, just don't be putting pressure on what you think you SHOULD be doing (or spending) and just spend the money in the areas you think are important. Also, as Banana said, you can just send them down the mines!

As for uni, I was very lucky in that my parents paid my tuition fees (which were nothing like what they are now!) and half my rent. I paid the other half and paid for everything else (food, drink, going out, textbooks, trips etc). Most people at my uni were in a similar situation, although there were quite a few people who had EVERYTHING paid for them (they lived in the expensive part of town, their parents paid off their credit cards even if it was for socialising and stuff). To be honest, there was quite a divide at my uni between the "Rahs" and the "normal people" so I never really thought about it at the time.

AFM, I had an appointment at the GP yesterday. I asked for progesterone as I'm so worried about my progesterone levels still being low . He basically said no...and also said I couldn't have any further blood tests. It's a bit frustrating, but what I expected given everything I've seen on Mumsnet. I have booked an early scan for 7th March, so hopefully we will know more then.

I am beyond terrified . I just don't dare let myself hope that this could be ok. I want it so badly, as does DH, but after the past few years it just doesn't feel like we could ACTUALLY get there. I'm doing everything I possibly can (continuing folic acid every day, vitamin d, calcium, eating LOADS of fruit, veg, nuts and have started eating meat, cut back to one coffee a day (usually decaf) and have cut down on my chocolate). I am just so nervous that I don't dare get excited yet .

Happy Subday ladies. Hope you've all had a good weekend.

Science hope the shaggathon went well?! I HATE clomid so hope no more bad side effects. Can't believe you've got a tumour too - surely your luck has got to turn!!!

Flat really hope you're feeling ok and not worrying too much. Docs are rubbish but at least it's not too long til your early scan and you're doing all you can. Thanks for the info on the laparoscopy too. Good to know it wasn't too bad pain wise. Do u mind me asking why you had it? I understand NHS are reluctant to do them due to cost etc. also, do you know how long you had to hold off "trying"??? So many questions!!!

AFM, feels like everything is on hold til laparoscopy is done - is it bad that work is so manic I'm kind of glad for some time off?!? My DH is on a project at the moment so he's going to struggle to come to hospital. My parents were on standby but now they've both got flu! Gah, trying not to stress - my consultant is lovely so I at least feel comfortable with that side of it. Just trying not to get my hopes up that this will be the "magic cure".....

banana missed your post - wow, I really hope the pain isn't too unbearable?! Sounds really tough. Don't blame you for eating crap and good your oh is so supportive. How far along are u now? Do you have a scan booked??

Hi gals, on my phone so can't respond to all and also can't face a mammoth post.

My appointment with the consultant on Thursday basically just said next step IVF and u get one go and if enough good quality embryos to freeze then you would get a second go too.

But DH and i have decided to do it abroad, I think, at our private home. We live half and half but when we are in England we stay with in laws. Although we will have to pay abroad in our other city at least we will be together and have some privacy during a ridiculous time I never thought we would need when first ttc.

Makes me fuming people get knocked up left right and centre and we just can't get it right with no rhyme or reason as to why not when we are trying all the right f**king things.

Aaaarrrerggggghhhhhh emotions and strains and we haven't even started

Hang in there Newleaf

Although I'm not really one to talk about optimism! I'm already feeling like this is a wasted month and my fertile period isn't even over yet!

So painfully bored of it all....but at least that 'motherhood challenge' seems to have died its death...unless it resurfaces nearer Mother's Day