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Infertility

Our Infertility Support forum is a space to connect with others in the same position, discuss causes, treatment and IVF, and share infertility stories of hope and success.

Would you be my Infertility/Clomid/Follicle tracking friend please?!

999 replies

scienceteachergeek · 06/07/2015 22:28

Hi there ladies

I’m really looking for a ‘clomid friend’ or ‘infertility pal’!

I’m 30, DH is 38. I came off the pill July 2013 to regulate my cycles and ended 15yrs of antidepressants in March 2014 as I’d read that was the best plan if possible.

I’d been having regular 27/30day cycles since I came off the pill but after no positive tests, buying OPKs and the Clearblue Advanced Fertility Monitor, plus charting temps and monitoring my cervix and mucus it quickly became apparent that I wasn’t ovulating. After all the blood tests, sperm analysis, trans-vaginal scans and the HSG it showed that he was fine but I wasn’t ovulating, but there was not obvious reason why.

Fast forward to now, 2yrs since coming off the pill, I have been prescribed clomid and have taken my first 5 tablets. I’m day 12 today and have been having follicle tracking to check if the drugs have worked. My largest follicle was 16.4mm today and have to go back on Wednesday to check it again.

Do any of you know if that’s a good size? Or have any experiences of being further down the clomid path? Or are you in a similar position? I just feel like I’m going out of my mind and could really use a buddy!

Thanks for reading and hugs to you all. Interested in hearing from any of you xxx

OP posts:
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FlatWhiteToGo · 25/12/2015 21:46

Vap - Totally agree. I walked the dog round the block and looked in on our neighbours who had about 5/6 kids in the living room playing. My heart melted. Le Sigh.

Also, I'm so pissed off, my mum had a Facebook status about how she "Hopes everyone is having a good Christmas" and it got hijacked by her "friend" saying about how my mum "hasn't experienced the true magic of Christmas as you only get that when you have grandchildren". WTAF?! How has she turned my mum's innocent status into a humblebrag about how lucky she is and how her life is better than my mum's? This friend incidentally is the mother of one of my "friends" who posted a status a year ago saying about how she was "so grateful to have baby [twatface] and she felt sorry for all the people out there who don't have that blessing".
C*nt.

Anyway, I'm so sorry you found it hard today but it sounds like you've had a wonderful day with the family Grin! I hope Mr Vap has also enjoyed himself Grin. Roll on 2016...

Vap0 · 25/12/2015 22:22

What a nob cheese your mums friend is.
How are there so many idiots on this earth?
So after reg stripped the turkey we pulled the wish bone, he won, I was gutted and was thinking "I needed that wish" my mum sighed, he said, "don't worry, I think we would have both wished for the same thing" good old mr vap. I wonder if she knew what he wished for, after all, it has been well over a year since I spoke with her about our infertility problems.
Everyone is asleep in bed, I thought it would be a good idea to drink 2 pints of water before turning in to deflect any headaches tomorrow and I can feel it just sat there sloshing about and can't sleep, what a plonker.
We have a fun filled day at my sisters tomorrow, hoping for no more stupid comments on when we will be having kids....
[santa]

FlatWhiteToGo · 26/12/2015 14:14

Hello ladies Grin

Lovely little baby bomb on Facebook yesterday. Thanks for that you bell ends. Yes - that's just what the rest of us needed to have a Merry Christmas. Grrr... From looking at 'The mind numbing boredom of infertility' it looks like there were a few of those yesterday!

Vap - Yes - total nob cheese. I just don't get how people are so lacking in common sense? I know I'm very sensitive about it, but I think as a general rule in life, if a woman's in her 30s and doesn't have kids it's because she (a) doesn't want them; or (b) can't have them. At best she'll find you annoying and boring constantly talking to her about kids, and at worst she'll find it hugely painful. I'm so tempted to put something on Facebook about infertility/IVF/adoption as I'm a pretty gobby person (in a highly classy way I'll have you know), I'm not ashamed of what we're going through and I hate the thought that friends are going through this and feel as alone as I do. The problem is, once it's 'out there' everyone knows and there's no taking it back or policing who finds out (tbh the only people I really don't want knowing are one of DH's exes, as she's a raving lunatic, and some of his friends who just WOULDN'T understand it).

Vap - Bless you and Reg Smile. That's sweet of him. Do you think your family guessed? They must have done. Perhaps your mum just doesn't know how to raise the subject with you and is scared of saying the wrong thing. How was she when you mentioned it just over a year ago? My parents and my MIL have been great. They never ask me about it, but when I tell them what's happening they ask questions and give their support. I'm so grateful they're pretty understanding about it all.

So how's the hangover today? Did all the water help? Hope you had a good day with the family Grin.

New Leaf - That's great that it's good quality! I'm also pleased that they called you back rather than leaving you hanging over Christmas. How are you feeling about the whole thing? I really hope the new year brings you (and the rest of us!) good luck (and when I say "good luck", I mean: a baby! Ha ha).

Banana - You're so right. I'm sure some of my friends must be having problems, or have had problems, or be about to have problems. It's pure statistics! It's a difficult age, because most of our friends are 28-32 (roughly) so it's that age where they could have been trying for years but also that age where they could only just be starting to think about it. Some of my female friends don't want kids at all, and they'll never change their mind. I'm actually a little jealous of that as I'd give anything to stop feeling this insane broodiness!

Tbh, right now flexibility at work may be more valuable to you than paid time off. That's great that your colleagues have been so good. It must make it an awful lot less stressful.

Ha ha - that made me laugh - I'm also legal counsel, finance and the project manager in this relationship and DH is the cook. I JUST DON'T CARE. I find it very hard to get that excited about cooking and good food, but DH loves putting loads of effort in and having fine dining (poor sod never gets that now he's with me!).

Vap (I think it was Vap) - I'm not an employment lawyer so I don't really know, but I think employers would have to be very careful about how they treat you when you're going through IVF (if they know that you are) as they could unlawfully discriminate against you on the grounds of sex (e.g. if you didn't get a promotion because they assumed that your IVF would lead to a baby and then you'd be off for a year etc). Also, I think there is a short period around the very final stages of IVF when implantation may occur where legislation protecting pregnant people also applies to those undergoing IVF, even if the IVF ultimately turns out to be unsuccessful, as they're considered to be pregnant until the test says otherwise. The thing is, as with employment rights when you're pregnant, I think you only really have them if your employer is aware of your pregnancy or the fact you're going through IVF. I really don't know though, so if you ever had any questions you could speak to ACAS or on the FertilityFriends forum there is a legal section for fertility-related legal queries.

Anyway, I hope you're all having a lovely boxing day Grin. Take care!

bananafish81 · 26/12/2015 18:58

Hi ladies

Big sloppy hugs to you all

I am absolutely staggered by the levels of nob-cheesery some of you have had to endure, I cannot believe people could be so absolutely thoughtless and make the comments you’ve described

I didn’t realise quite how fortunate I am to have never been on the receiving end of any kind of ‘when are you going to have kids’ comments - even before I was pretty open about our infertility woes. I am absolutely boiling mad that you’ve had to put with with such utter fuckwittery.

This lady wrote a great book with her husband as a his n hers account of going through IVF - although this article is specifically about ‘what not to say to someone going through IVF’ it’s just as applicable to anyone struggling with subfertility:

www.netdoctor.co.uk/parenting/conception/advice/a25818/what-not-to-say-to-ivf-patients/

Vap I got teary reading your post about Mr Vap and the wishbone, that’s really beautiful. Hope you had a fabulous day and escaped without too much of a sore head!

Newleaf so delighted about your lovely triple line - and brilliant that your clinic got in touch to let you know, they sound terrific

Flat your household sounds like mine! I’m v much the project manager too! DH does waste management, maintenance and groundskeeping though Grin

You’re absolutely right about the flexibility at work being more valuable than paid leave. I went freelance 5.5 years ago and it was the best decision I ever made. It gives me the flexibility to manage my health conditions much more effectively, and certainly made the IVF process much more manageable. I knew I was going to be heading into the first cycle when I started at my current contract, so I told them I was going to be having some medical treatment and would be in and out a bit, so they could either have me on these terms, or not and get someone else, and they said they’d have whatever time I could give them. If I’m lucky enough for IVF to work at any point, then it does mean I won’t get paid maternity leave, but tbh mat. pay in my industry is appalling anyway, and I earn more (and work less) as a consultant than I did as a perm employee, so it all comes out in the wash, so to speak.

I had a little weep yesterday as it's a really hard time of year when it's all about family, and it's just a very painful reminder that I'll never have Christmas with my darling Mum ever again, as well as obv the fear that I'll never have a family of my own to share it with. Did have a laugh at an infertility page blog post which joked about the Christmas story rubbing our face in it, since even a virgin was able to have a baby!!

Hope you’re all surviving the rellies and having a lovely Boxing day [santa]

NewLeafExpat · 26/12/2015 20:55

Good eeeevening and happy Boxing Day ladies xxx

Good to hear from you all and the wishbone story is so sweet. I also loved the story about the bloody virgin getting pregnant before us ha ha ha

I too had a baby bomb yesterday on FB such a cheesy fking story.... But I don't know the back story so who knows, anyway it's still annoying having to be all "thrilled for you" ...

MIL assaulted me today about fertility and she is so well meaning, she asks questions if I am receptive and if I just say "it's ok" she drops it... Anyway today we actually had a discussion about it and besides saying don't worry it will work out, just go thru the system and motions the doctors know what they are doing etc etc... She then finished with a story of someone who went on Holiday and just relaxed and got pg.. Argh. That soon ended that conversation! Seems she missed half the conversation that relaxing won't make a blind bit of difference...

Yes my clinic is quite fab as far as customer care goes, I think as good as nhs can be as they offer private treatment too they constantly have how can we improve and customer suggestions on the wall etc.

Whoevers mums friend made that comment... How annoying! Whether you are trying or not just what an awful thing to say... In a my life is better than yours vibe!!! Write it off as a really dumb thing to say!!

scienceteachergeek · 27/12/2015 00:10

Hello all. Again I have been reading most days. Glad you're all as well as you can be. There aren't half some twatty people out there. My 19yr old brother announced at the table yesterday was, "What this family needs is a child, then Christmas can be fun again" My mum blatently gave him some kind of death stare as he quickly shut up. Mum also took charge of the TV remote and changed channel whenever a nappy advert came on or anything with baby in it appeared in the screen. I still sobbed in bed on and off until 2pm when lunch was served.

Things seem largely quite positive with you guys Smile it's good to hear. I'm watching eagerly for any changes with my fertility monitor. I'd love to be one of those people whose infertility vanishes after getting upduffed with clomid. I won't hold my breath though!!! DH has turned into a sex maniac the past two days so at least now he's off his antidepressants his penis is working again!

You guys get good gifts from your men? One of my gifts was a telescope!!! He gave it to me just minutes into Christmas day so I was up most of the night checking out the moon!

Anyway, glad you've all survived Christmas Xmas Grin

OP posts:
Vap0 · 28/12/2015 15:37

Perhaps turkey wish bone wishes come true???

Tested Boxing Day morning and thought I saw a squinter of a line. DP of course couldn't see anything. Wouldn't photograph at all. Tested yesterday and even fainter line. Tested just now with fmu (saved in the bathroom since this morning) and there is defo a line. DP can see it, so it must be there....

Would you be my Infertility/Clomid/Follicle tracking friend please?!
bananafish81 · 28/12/2015 16:04

Omg Vap it's a Christmas miracle!!

Silly question and not wishing to piss on your bonfire, but are you 100% certain all the hCG was out of your system and that the timings for ov are right (ie that you ovulated in the last two weeks - did you get a +ve OPK at all?)

Keeping everything crossed for you and Mr Vap!!

Xxx

Vap0 · 28/12/2015 16:13

Thanks banana I'm 95% sure it's a new pregnancy. According to ff af is due on Wednesday. Not getting excited about it yet. Will leave it a couple more days and test again and check it gets darker. Will also ask for some hcg and progesterone blood tests from my dr's. I think ovulation must have happened when we were away for the weekend and I forgot all of my tests and thermometer. Will have to just wait and see. Even if it is a new pregnancy I'm still not overly sure of my chances of success.... I suppose if it is another new pregnancy I am no longer "infertile". Please don't kick me out just yet.

Fingers and toes crossed.

bananafish81 · 28/12/2015 17:09

Absolutely thrilled for you Vap - hope it's a sticky one!

If Mr Vap fancies cracking some more wishbones for us lot, we'll send round some turkeys!!! Grin

Xx

NewLeafExpat · 28/12/2015 18:32

vap I so so hope it's a new pregnancy and fingers crossed for you....!!!!! A Christmas miracle indeed!

Thinking of you!

We are enjoying the last Xmas engagement tonight before flying out tomorrow back to other home (away from inlaws) Time to diet!!!!!!!

FlatWhiteToGo · 28/12/2015 21:16

NewLeaf Science - Grrrr at your MIL and DB respectively. Especially the DB! I assume he knew about your pregnancy and mc? Urgggggggg. I despair. NewLeaf - You're not a true infertility pal until you've had every one of the "relax/holiday/friend of a friend's dog sitter's hairdresser stopped trying and the next minute.../at the first IVF appointment x found out they were pregnant naturally" shite. I think all of our mothers and friends have been told that this is the BEST thing to say to someone who is inconsolable because of their sub-fertility.

Vap - Oh my God. I REALLY hope that line develops and that you really are pregnant. That would just be amazing! I am sure you will test first thing tomorrow so keep us updated. We need some good news to start 2016 Grin. Also you are ALWAYS welcome on this thread. I've never taken Clomid or had follicles tracked but I'm still hanging out on this thread Grin.

NewLeaf - Have a safe flight! Good luck with the diet. I am 100% with you. The problem is, it's easy to say that at 21:15 having stuffed myself silly for days, rather than after several days of nothing but salad Grin.

FlatWhiteToGo · 28/12/2015 21:53

Banana - I forgot to say, I'm really sorry that Christmas was so hard for you without your DM Sad. I'm so sorry. It really must be so difficult. I hope you and your family managed to have some happy, fun moments even though it won't have been a laugh-a-minute. I'm sending a big hug x

Vap0 · 30/12/2015 07:44

Good Morning!

banana get sending the turkeys over as the wish has officially come true!

I managed to resist testing yesterday as wanted to see a marked improvement in the line from 2 mornings ago. Here is the pic of the test. It is stronger. Still not getting excited (trying not to anyway) as I'm not very good at the part that happens after this...

How was your last Xmas night out newleaf?

How is everyone doing at the min? Is anyone due to test anytime soon? Or any big exciting nights out on New Year's Eve? We are at a friends house party which I'm quite looking forward to.

Would you be my Infertility/Clomid/Follicle tracking friend please?!
NewLeafExpat · 30/12/2015 08:51

vap I am so pleased for you that is awesome it's stronger.... I so hope this is the one for you!!!!!!!

Back home and due snow the next three days! Exciting! Last Xmas night out was great lots of food and made one glass of wine last all night! Most unlike me...!

We are going around a friends place for NYE ... They are quite party people but I am going to do my best to take it easy esp after midnight as DRY JANUARY begins!!

CD30 here, 7DPO so still another week of waiting before I will know!!!!!! Don't feel anything at all though HmmConfused but I am hopeful this month. The only symptom I have is a big horrible chin spot! Fab....

What else are u all doing on NYE? How will u get out of drinking vap ?

Vap0 · 30/12/2015 09:58

1 glass all night, well done.

Last night we were at my mums and I clocked my sil noticing I wasn't cheers-ing with a glass of prosecco so later on I found an abandoned glass and started carrying it around with me for a while and then poured it down the sink, also spoke of the very late night we had the night before and how tired I was. Think I escaped that one.

Tomorrow we are with a whole load of friends who don't have any kids so I doubt they would think twice about why I'm not drinking. Will offer some friends a lift back to where we live and say I'm not feeling brilliant after a couple of weeks of excesses and as we can't find a taxi I decided to drive. Quite unlike me but I doubt they will think anything of it. And even if they did they would never ask. They won't even expect me to have 1 as I drive for a job so wouldn't question that.

We have massive stocks of prosecco in our spare room! So many as gifts from people, we have a magnum and another 7 bottles, and another one on the way from a work colleague (secret Santa). Always seems when I have loads of prosecco I get the bfp's.

Luckily we have dry January coming up as an excuse which dp has already been saying he is going to do a dry 3 months so I can just tag along to that. Makes it easier if both of us are dry as people don't suspect.

I've calculated the dates (probably a little prematurely after the last couple of times), as we are going on a long haul flight with work on 3rd March and it will be 12w5d so hopefully I will have had the scan and test results by then so will be able to break the news to the bosses at the airport. Won't see them until then apart from my quarterly review with boss and a day out with md in early Jan.

Any other testers out there?

bananafish81 · 30/12/2015 13:50

Ah Vap this is the most wonderful news, absolutely thrilled for you. Keeping everything crossed for you that this is your time, and that this time next year you’re knee deep in shitty nappies!! Grin

Welcome home newleaf aaah, bet it’s good to be home. Sounds like you had a lovely Xmas. Top tip for parties, that I employed at my work Xmas do - glass of lime and soda, or indeed a tonic water (tastes like it could be something more interesting!) and most people will assume it’s a G&T. If everyone’s refilling glasses of bubbles, then, er, just hold one and be so amazingly effervescent and chatty that you’re too busy talking to be taking any sips. TBH I also have the epilepsy (and I’ve told a lot of people about IVF in any case) so I don’t tend to get quizzed, but the catchall of a general ‘I’m on some medication’ (don’t have to say antibiotics - although if you want to put nosy parkers off their stride a quip of ‘I’ve got a raging dose of the clap’ tends to work well!)

flat OMG yes the ‘oh I had a friend who had IVF and it worked for them / I went on holiday and stopped trying and got really drunk and boom! / I had a friend who went on the adoption list and got pregnant naturally’ - FFS. I’ve had them ALL. No, getting drunk / going on holiday isn’t going to magically make my oestrogen levels rise and my endometrial lining spontaneously thicken up by itself. But thanks for the advice. AAAARRGGHH.

Think we should send them all that link I posted a few days ago of ‘what (not) to say to people going through IVF’ (or infertility in general)!

Very sweet of you to think of me, thanks so much - we all have our shit to deal with, whether it’s losing a parent, miscarriages, or any one of the many missiles life decides to lob in our way! Bless you, thanks so much. Christmas was just DH and I battening down the hatches and nesting at home just us two. My Dad went over to Ibiza to stay with my brother and SIL who live out there - we were invited too, but as we were supposed to be in the 2ww and having OTD between Xmas and New Year, we didn’t really want to travel. Then when the cycle was postponed we decided we didn’t really want to scramble to get flights, as we rather liked the idea of a really quiet low key Xmas.

science Oh god, your brother gets the foot in mouth prize of the season - you poor thing, you’ve done amazingly amazingly well. And hope you and DH have had some time to recoup and recharge (as well as shag like rabbits now he’s got his mojo back - wish mine would!!). Awww I love the telescope, that’s a wonderful gift! Well I’m a massive geek so I’d bloody love that. I love it when you can see the ISS pass overhead and see it with the naked eye (we wave to the spacemen!) - deffo check it out with your whizzy new toy when there’s another pass over wherever in the country you are Smile

DH and I agreed not to do presents this year (haven’t really done them in a few years, we have far too much ‘stuff’ as it is!) but he did surprise me with a little cheeky one. When we were watching Gogglebox I saw someone wearing this epic pair of superman printed socks - that had little capes attached to the back! Well last time for Egg Collection day I got myself some ‘Let’s carpe the fuck out of this diem’ socks (because your feet get cold while your legs are slung up in the stirrups so you can keep your socks on) - thought I’d give the consultant a giggle while he was down the ‘business end’. Anyway DH got me those so I can be a superhero on EC or (hopefully!) ET day, which was so cute. He said he’d actually ordered them on his phone before the programme had even finished!!

AFM CD75 and just counting down the birth control pills till my appt on Monday. I’ve been willing away my precious Christmas break desperate to get to the day I go back to bloody work, as that’s when I see my consultant to see if we can get cracking. If the cycle gets derailed again I am going to go fucking ballistic and possibly ask for my ovaries to be surgically removed so I can belt them as far as away as possible with a five iron…!

Yet again for the third time in 4 months I’m tapering down my painkillers in anticipation of a possible transfer and 2ww in the coming weeks…I have to taper off my tramadol fairly slowly to avoid going into withdrawal, so of course I’m in quite a lot more pain as a result. If I find I’m tapering off for nothing as I have no fucking transfer I will properly lose my shit. Obviously it’s gonna be a hell of a lot more painful if I do get to the 2ww and even more so if I get a BFP and have months without my meds, but at least then it’s for a very real cause. So I’m grumpy as fuck because my NYE is being curled up on the sofa in pain, eating virtuously and not drinking, all for an IVF cycle that for all I know could end up getting derailed again (I’m now expecting things NOT to go ahead as planned, rather than to hope they might actually work out!)

Big hugs to you all- ho ho ho!! Xmas Grin

FlatWhiteToGo · 30/12/2015 13:55

Flat runs out and buys lots of bottles of prosecco in the hope of a BFP

That's amazing news Vap - congratulations! What a fab way to start 2016. I'm so pleased for you Smile.

I wouldn't worry too much about not drinking. Like you've suggested, with dry January (or the dry 3 months!) it's perfect timing! Just say you're going on a new year health kick. If anyone tries to sabotage that, then just say you're committed to having a few months of getting healthy!

I'm back from our night at the posh hotel. It was so nice to get away from it all, if only for an afternoon and an evening. It was also lovely to be near the sea and out in the countryside. DH and I did have one massive fallout though, basically because he's frustrated that I'm thinking about adoption so much and I'm frustrated that he won't even entertain the idea yet.

Anyway, I hope you're all doing well and are looking forward to the start of 2016!

FlatWhiteToGo · 31/12/2015 10:10

There is a baby in my house.

REPEAT: THERE IS A BABY IN MY HOUSE.

Vap0 · 31/12/2015 11:07

What? Whose?

FlatWhiteToGo · 31/12/2015 14:39

My friend was visiting from far away and she brought her baby, which I wasn't totally prepared for. I managed to get through a few hours without crying, so I'm pretty proud of myself, ha ha Grin! The baby's lovely and the couple are awesome & really understanding about our fertility problems, but it's just so damn hard being around babies and small children Sad.

Vap0 · 31/12/2015 15:58

I'm pleased you managed to get through it. I'll bet it was a shock them bringing her unannounced. I still dislike beg around my niece/God daughter (9months old). One thing I noticed when we went to London recently was the lack of pregnant people. Unlike EVERYWHERE else you go.

4 more frer's arrived in today's post. They can sit in my sock drawer until I need them.

Who is 1st up to test in the new year?

FlatWhiteToGo · 31/12/2015 16:35

Ha ha, thank you. I'm such a ridiculous person. Sometimes, like today, I manage to keep it together and forget everything that's happening to us...then sometimes I'm a total mess.

How was London Zoo? Was the weather ok? I ask because we've been hit my storm Frank or whatever it's called. Thankfully so far all we've had is some HORRENDOUS rainfall for a few hours and really bad wind, but many of my friends and family live in York so have been badly affected Sad.

I'm glad the pregnant people decided to keep away from the zoo Grin. Perhaps they see all the animals as a health hazard? Ha ha.

How are you feeling? Any symptoms? Still testing every day? Grin. Good luck with the alcohol-avoidance tonight!

No testing for me...I'm CD10...I'm back to tracking days but haven't been temping/doing OPKs. I'm undecided whether to do a few IC OPKS.

NewLeafExpat · 01/01/2016 08:01

Zoo?

Happy New Years ladies. I mayyyyy have totally overdone it last night ShockShockHmmHmmConfusedConfusedConfused. Oh.... Dear....

Bring on dry Jan!!!

Vap0 · 01/01/2016 13:45

Brown spotting at 3+6 again Sad
It's the beginning of the end for the 3rd time. And yet again the Drs is shut when it's happening.
What a shit way to start the year.