Would you be my Infertility/Clomid/Follicle tracking friend please?!

[scienceteachergeek]

Hi there ladies

I’m really looking for a ‘clomid friend’ or ‘infertility pal’!

I’m 30, DH is 38. I came off the pill July 2013 to regulate my cycles and ended 15yrs of antidepressants in March 2014 as I’d read that was the best plan if possible.

I’d been having regular 27/30day cycles since I came off the pill but after no positive tests, buying OPKs and the Clearblue Advanced Fertility Monitor, plus charting temps and monitoring my cervix and mucus it quickly became apparent that I wasn’t ovulating. After all the blood tests, sperm analysis, trans-vaginal scans and the HSG it showed that he was fine but I wasn’t ovulating, but there was not obvious reason why.

Fast forward to now, 2yrs since coming off the pill, I have been prescribed clomid and have taken my first 5 tablets. I’m day 12 today and have been having follicle tracking to check if the drugs have worked. My largest follicle was 16.4mm today and have to go back on Wednesday to check it again.

Do any of you know if that’s a good size? Or have any experiences of being further down the clomid path? Or are you in a similar position? I just feel like I’m going out of my mind and could really use a buddy!

Thanks for reading and hugs to you all. Interested in hearing from any of you xxx

Thank you ladies. The hospital now can't even see me until tomorrow and then they'll book me in for the removal sometime next week. To make things worse, the scanner yesterday was concerned about the 'fibroid' and is concerned it may be something else. It's all just the worst. After having such positive news at 6 weeks i just felt something was wrong last week. All my symptoms just slowly vanished.

I just can't believe it. DH is incredibly sad too. Thank you for your kind words xxx

science I have just logged back in after a few days off rador and I can't believe your news. I am so utterly devastated for you and DH. Please be kind to yourself and take all the time you need to grieve for your little one. We will always be here if you want to rant,cry, be annoyed at the world! Thinking of you xx

I thought I'd message back and try to get people chatting again as I'm sure science would appreciate something to read even if it is boring twaddle about ttc. Thinking of you science, as is everyone else by the looks of it. I'm so sorry they have delayed your treatment and they are prolonging your pain. Did they say what your 'fibroid' could be? Will they be able to tell you tomorrow? Have they been able to give you any answers about why it may have happened? Sorry if these questions are too much for you, feel free to ignore everything I've just read if it's easier.

flat I know what you mean about not realising there could be anyone left to babybomb. I keep forgetting about the men out there who of course can also babybomb you. We are not safe anywhere.
I, liking the idea of your "see you next Tuesday" club! Yes mum of soon to be 6 can go in it. Also mum of soon to be 4 (this one accidental and didn't know until 3 months) can be on it too.

I messaged the md yesterday to gently tell him it is our product launch but he responded basically saying he didn't care and he is confident all the buyers will be there. Just wait until April and I can't get my buyers there because they are all on holiday and I'll be in for it. Argh.

flat get your dp to read more about Czech clinics. They are amazing. So much clearer on their websites and the reviews from British ladies is excellent. I'm on a thread on here where I've been asking ladies who have been through it or are about to and they rave about it. Will post a link if I can in a min. I've decided we may well bring it forward to Feb half term. A friend of mine was saying that even after the initial IVF appointment on NHS there is at least a 6-9 month wait. So that's 3 months to get on the 3 month waiting list, which will total another 12-15 months roughly before getting any kind of treatment. I just can't wait that long, I actually think I'll go insane. Of course we can always hope things happen naturally in the mean time but if we start things rolling in Feb half term then we could be looking good for perhaps June transfer - I would say earlier but with the product launch I don't think I could be dosed up on hormones as it is such a stressful time and I can't come across as a total looney to all my buyersm it will do me no favours. Has your dp said why he isn't fussed?

Hello magpie, welcome to the most supportive group of crazy ttcers out there. Did you ovulate in the end? Are they scanning you on this cycle? What dose are you on? What dose were you on with dc1 when you were lucky? Best of luck to you with your clomid journey. How old is dc1?

How is everyone else getting on?
Where is everyone in their cycles?

We are cd12 today, has some ewcm this afternoon (wow). We have dtd every day for the last 4 days, still having the flashing smiley on CB ovulation test. Will post a pic of opk's in a min. So hopeful ovulation happens this month.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/infertility/2486197-fertility-treatment-abroad-anybody-have-advice

Thread about Czech fertility clinics. I think it's only 1 of many

So I'm still at work and can't post a proper message (might not be able to until the weekend) but I just wanted a very quick vent! Today somebody left a positive [TBC - I didn't properly look and just threw it in the bin] pregnancy test on the side in the ladies toilet. I was in there at the same time as a colleague who showed me it...I just grabbed it and threw it in the bin. What the actual fuck?! Who does a test at work? And who cares so little that they FORGET about it and leave it there? This made me so angry, and now there are all these rumours going around and I have had people asking me if I'm pregnant because I'm one of the obvious candidates. THIS YEAR CAN JUST FUCK RIGHT OFF.

Wow flat! Who does that?! That's really odd!
I found a half burned incense stick in our toilets at work today, at least it made the place smell nice.

Science all the best for your appointment tomorrow, sorry again for what you're going through. I hope you have good support at the hospital.

Vap0 those OPKs look good and the EWCM is a great sign!

I've still got negative OPKs and I started spotting today on CD17, really feels like AF is coming. I'm was on 100mg and not having any monitoring.

Sorry, shouldn't laugh, I'm sure you are livid!

flat what a total shitter! Does the one who was with you know it wasn't yours? Are you going back to check if it was a bfp! My thoughts exactly though! Why the hell would you leave it there? I'm such a weirdo I have saved mine in my sock drawer, it was so long awaited and i can't bring myself to bin it. Clearly whoever it was was one of these accidentally pregnant people!

You need to start talking very loudly around the water cooler or wherever the "in" place is about what a massive drinking session you're going on this weekend! Then follow it up on Monday with a 2 day hangover. I find that dropping drinking stories to people they are generally true generally stops the assessing looks.

Yeah magpie I'm pleased with the ewcm, don't often get it, just hoping it stays until if I get my static smiley face. I'm sorry you haven't had a positive OPK, it's so shit! I've not had one for months either. So you were on 100 this cycle, will they up you to 150 next month do you think? Were you on 100 when you conceived ds?

Thank you everyone. The chances are that there was a chromosomal abnormality. While the baby was building itself some chromosomes didn't copy themselves correctly. I'll see what they say tomorrow though because it could all be because of this 'mass' that they found in my uterine wall. They also found a large cyst on one ovary too. If there's anything even remotely dodgy about the 'mass' I sincerely doubt they'll give me clomid again. Clomid supposedly gives a higher chance of uterine cancer.

Got so upset by my mum, MIL and sister telling me to just 'keep trying next month' that I've come clean about the infertility. Everyone feels even worse for us and now nobody feels like they have anything positive to add.

Thank you for all being so lovely. I'm just desperate to get my dead baby out of me so i can start to move on. However, I'm equally desperate to find out what this 'mass' is. I've had cancer 4 times before, not in my reproductive organs, so I'm sure you can imagine how much I'm shitting myself.

Anyone got good news for me? Vap0 those tests are looking good!

Best of luck for today science. Thinking of you. I have everything crossed that that fibroid is nothing sinister. How awful that you've had cancer 4 times. You're so young. Life doesn't half hand out some shit cards.

I have my 1st static smiley face this morning . I just chased dp into the bathroom to show him. Woo! I really hope this means we ovulate! I remember the 1st time I ever had a positive OPK (after about 18 months of testing), I was dancing on air thinking this is it, I'll definitely get pregnant now, which clearly didn't happen so trying not to get too excited! So pleased it's the weekend. Will be pouncing on dp the minute we get in. Then at least twice tomorrow and hopefully twice on Sunday. Pic of OPK attached. Not sure if these opks aren't sensitive for me as I know they are supposed to be at least as dark as the control line. Will keep trying again tomorrow and sun with the OPK and see what the story is. Temp hasn't changed and usually you'd expect a dip the day before Ov and then a rise the day after so that means that probably we won't Ov until Sunday perhaps? If we can just do this this month, or next we will be saving ourselves a load of cash, not to mention spending half my annual holiday allowance traveling to foreign hospitals. Just a quick question to those who also use one of these monitors... I believe the static smile will stay there for 48 hours now. Should I test again on Sunday morning to see if "peak" fertility is still recorded or will that mess up the monitor for next cycle?

Opk

Science thinking of you today. Good luck for everything and fingers crossed that the fibroid is nothing to have to worry about.

well for me, I have had my appointment this week after three cycles of Clomid (Af arrived at weekend, very depressed about it).

Now being referred for lap and dye and I can continue taking clomid in the meantime.

I want to call the team who would be doing the lap and dye to enquire about wait times, does anyone know who I would need to call? I'm desperate to have this done asap as I know I ovulate fine - I knew clomid wasn't going to be a factor for me, I think there is something else going on.

Vap0 goodluck with the bd and yehhh for the smiley!!! I never get a dip in my temps before ovulation so I wouldnt be waiting for sunday but just go for it all weekend! I use the cb fertility monitor - it wont let me test after a peak. I dont think you need to do any further testing after your peak - just watch out for your temp rise to confirm ovulation.

Sorry about af birch
I think you have to call the hospital where you will be having the procedure done. Have they given you any contact details., or perhaps phone your dr that you've been seeing. I would hope they would want to get you in ASAP now that 3 tries on clomid have not been successful. How much more clomid have they given you? 1 month or 3? All this waiting around is so bloody frustrating isn't it. Maybe you'll get a letter through the post with your appointment on?

Don't you worry? No waiting around here! We have dtd for the last 4 days in the trot and dp knows he will be pounced on when he walks in. I've managed to get back early. I'm almost convinced I'm ovulating this month, not just from the CB monitor but also I'm having ovulation pains on the left hand side. And I just went to the loo and there was loads of ewcm when I wiped. All good signs! I really hope this is our month. I always get so excited at this time of the month - when ov happens.

science how have you got on today? Thinking of you x

Thanks Vap - maybe I need to just learn some patience and wait on the appointment letter coming through. Its my biggest flaw - no patience, I want it and I want it now! They did say it will prob be Jan but I really want it in Dec. I have so much on with work in Jan. I work in care setting and I have lots of people relying on me in Jan and I don't want to let them down as I am off. They gave me 6 months at my first appointment so I still have 3 months left.

Also dh isn't being the best - I dont think he knows what to say. I got teary the other day as I am terrified of anesthetic and he told me I just need to suck it up :-( that of course I will be fine.

It is all so exciting - I really hope this is your month Vap - ill keep everything crossed for you while you keep everything uncrossed

Hi all!

Still thinking of you science and hope you and DH are ok. It's a hell of a lot to go thru and we are all thinking of u.

vap it's interesting to see your IC opks aren't that "strong" despite the CBFM smiley. I always used ICs but am on a new batch that look like yours with the LH written in the handle.., the old lot were just plain green handle part...

Anyway I'm convinced that this new batch is not that sensitive or doesn't have as much dye in... because my test line is quite faint and even the control line is not as strong as the previous batch.... So I am waiting for ovulation pains to confirm any OV but have managed to DTD every day this past 5 days or so... Now DH is away til Sunday so will skip 1 day then continue DTD marathon...

Fingers crossed....

flat I cannotttt belieeeevee someone left a positive pregnancy test in the work loos. WTAF... I agree with the suggestion to talk about your booze weekend of anything to dispel the potential thoughts of colleagues that it's yours!!! But seriously, who does that!!!! Is it a big office or will it be fairly easy for all to find out whose it was?

Gah....

newleaf I think you're right that lot with the writing on the handle are not as good as the plain ones. I reckon they are a duff batch. I bought 50 I seem to remember but am down to last 3 I think now. At least the blood test will tell me if these ic's have been liars all this time! I'm now of the opinion that the ic's are not reliable enough to bother with and my emotional well being is worth at least £2 per stick which is how much the CB ones are and you only actually need to use as etween 7-10 per month. So I've decided no more ic's for me. CB all the way. I know what you mean about the dtd marathon. DP could not be bothered at all tonight. Luckily we dtd still. 5 days on the run is too much for him! Ha!

birch sorry to hear about your fear of anaesthetic, have you had a bad experience in the past? They are no bloody fun in my experience, I've only been under once and when I came around had forgotten how to breathe, I know that sounds ridiculous but it happened and scared the sh1t out of me. I had already breathed in and didn't know so when I tried to breath in I couldn't, I was still attached to all of the machines and there were alarms going off everywhere and I nearly passed out again and the nurses just looked on without a care in the world and did nothing to help. I couldn't believe it. It happened a second time too when they tried to stand me up after lying down for days. Luckily the physio lady understood what was going on and talked me through it. Must be quite common. Stupid nurses. Feeling like a total div now I've told you that story. Ha. It's a shame your dp doesn't understand the gravity of the situation. I'm sure he will as soon as it comes around. My dp is not the most caring person around, that sounds awful but it's not meant to, maybe I mean to say he isn't one for showing his feelings but he was terrified about me going under and came back at 11:30 at night and waited for an hour for me to come out of surgery to check I came around ok. I'm sure your dp will be the same.

So where is everyone else in their cycles? And others ovulating around about now? Any testers any time soon?

Morning everyone. Hope you're ok.

Firstly, how are you doing Science? How did it go yesterday? and do you have a date for the operation? I can't say it enough - I am so sorry . That's terrible that you've had cancer 4 times! How awful. Surely they're monitoring you lots?

Magpie - welcome to the group. You'll have to understand that we're all insanely jealous that you have a DC . How long did it take you to conceive him? Hopefully Clomid will work for you this time too. Any sign of a positive OPK yet?

NewLeaf - I'm also thinking of name changing . There's so much identifying information on this thread. That said, if any of my friends happened to be reading this then there's a high chances they're also suffering from infertility so I probably wouldn't mind them knowing about me.

What is your TTC friend saying? That's she's going to start TTC soon and will be pregnant soon? Or that she doesn't know if it's the right time to TTC? If it's the former, I wouldn't say anything because chances are she'll be one of the see you next Tuesday club lucky ones and fall pregnant at the drop of a hat. She'll then have zero understanding of what you're going through and will probably just see you as bitter. If it's the latter, I'd be more inclined to say something. Before we started TTC we never dreamed it would take this long. We put it off and put it off, and even when we first started trying, that very first month I wondered if we should wait a few more months. I now wish somebody I trusted had told me just how hard it is and how often it takes a very long time .

Vap - That is so exciting about the static smily. Are you temping as well? Sounds like you've DTD a lot so fingers crossed! Have you started making enquiries with the clinic? Can they get you booked in for Feb?

I feel like giving up on OPKs altogether. I stopped using Clearblue every month, as it got so expensive when I'd get my peak around CD24, so I've just been using ICs. That said, last month when I got my static, there was nothing on the IC! Tbh I don't think we've been timing things wrong; I think with everything else (egg problems and sperm problems) they're just not meeting and doing their thing.

Birchy - I also have no patience. It's a nightmare! That's great that you're having a lap & dye. Hopefully you'll get some answers. Your DH is right, although he could perhaps be a little more sensitive !!!

As for POAS-Gate, I'm still really annoyed. It had apparently been there all day (why the f*ck didn't someone else throw it away?) so lots of people will have seen it. The girl that showed me it is extremely immature, so she'll create a whole load of gossip and won't let people forget about it. I'm not too worried about people thinking it's mine, but I am worried about it opening the doors for people to start asking "If it's not yours, when do you think you'll have a baby?". I just don't want to have that conversation with colleagues. On my floor, there are about 200 people. There are probably around 20 of us who are the right age...and about 5 of us who are the 'obvious' ones (i.e. right age, recently married, not too junior/not too senior etc). I don't really care TBH, I'm just more upset that someone cared so little about this thing that I want SO MUCH that they just left it on the side.

Anyway, CD13 here. I had EWCM (like actual EWCM which I NEVER get) about 4 days ago. Typically I couldn't DTD all week until last night. Got home around 10pm after a shocking week at work, so it was such a struggle to DTD. I'm still not getting close to a positive OPK and my temps are all over the place (I've been staying in different places and have been temping at different times, nonetheless my temps are around 35.7 which is very low). Tbh I've just kind of given up hope. We have our appointment at the Fertility Clinic in 3 weeks so we'll know more then. I told DH that I hope they at least offer us IVF, rather than telling us there's no hope. He said he's worried they'll say there's nothing they can do as there are problems on both sides (my shite eggs and his shite sperm). He's usually the positive one and I'm the one that thinks it won't happen, so I was a bit knocked back .

Science I hope you're doing as well as you can be.

Vap0 ovulation is very exciting! Sounds like there's no doubting it from all your signs. Fx for you!

Newleaf I'm using the same OPKs (the green ones with lh on the handle) and there's been talk on another thread about them not working very well. Most annoying!

Flat It only took 16 months to conceive DS, though it felt like forever and I was quite TTC crazy by the end. Luckily we had an amazing GP who did investigations early on as she had a theory about why I was ovulating which turned out to be correct and she gave me clomid. I didn't ovulate on the first cycle but did on the next two and conceived on the third cycle.

Still no positive OPKs for me but no more spotting either. I do feel crampy still but I'm so focused on what my body is doing I'm noticing the slightest thing.

Hi guys. Thank you for keeping me busy reading your posts. You've all been wonderful.

The hospital experience was pretty awful, sitting there with all the other women who thought they had a dead baby in them. Every fucking lucky woman I saw went in to be scanned looking very sad, and then came out smiling from ear to ear. I was the only one with an actual dead baby.

Apparently though they'd had loads of confirmed miscarriages earlier that day and they can't guarantee me a slot for my operation until Friday!!! That'll be 9days I'll have had it me knowing it's dead and 16days with it physically not being alive. It sucks that it all takes so long. Having the pre-op bloods/swabs etc tomorrow (Monday).

DH has been sent home from work tonight because a manager asked him how he was coping. He burst into tears. We both went to the docs on Friday so he's now back on his antidepressants and I've been given a sicknote for 2weeks.

I'm glad we've silenced all the 'don't worry, just try again next month' people with our infertility woes. It feels good to be 'out' about it all. Suddenly I feel the pressure has been lifted.

Good news about the 'fibroid' and the cyst they found. The cyst is 0.2mm smaller than something they'd consider removing and the 'fibroid' has vanished. Unfortunately that's the only good news I have.

Currently terrified I'm going to start passing it myself before they can do the operation but other than that I think I'm doing better than you'd imagine. Obviously I cry on and off but not for long. We can be referred straight back to the clomid consultant but I'm going to wait for a couple of periods first.

Have a good Sunday xxx

Magpie - 16 months is a long time. I know many people on here have been trying 2+ years, but 16 months is still an extremely long time. I'm so pleased it worked out for you in the end.

Science - That whole experience sounds awful and I'm so sorry you had to go through it. If I were you I'd be calling every day to see if you can get an appointment on an earlier day as I can completely understand your terror of having to pass it naturally. It will be awful, I'd love to say otherwise and reassure you but I don't want to belittle everything you're going through. Just remember you WILL get through it and very few things will be as bad as everything you're going through now.

Your poor DH as well. I know the men don't have to deal with the physical side of things, but they still have to deal with the highs and almighty lows emotionally. Is it possible for him to take a week or two off as well, so you can both be together?x

Morning all

If anyone name changes make sure you pm us all to tell us who you are. I'm in the camp of - nobody would trawl through all of this if they weren't in our position and if they are then no problem them knowing and it would be nice to know someone in real life who is going through it.

science I'm sorry your hospital experience was so horrible. I'm wishing the days away for Friday. I hope time passes quickly for you. Will you be on your own at home? Maybe get a box set to watch to keep you busy? Game of thrones or breaking bad or something great you haven't seen. This is on the assumption you're struggling to get the motivation to do anything. Your poor dh, I'm so sad for you both. I'm sorry he has had to go back on his antidepressants. So pleased to hear about your 'fibroid', one less thing to worry about. Did they tell you there was a chance you would start passing the baby yourself? I hope that doesn't happen. If you do, will they see you any earlier?

So I met up with my oldest friend yesterday which was really nice. She knows about the issues we have but didn't ask, she waited for me to say, told her about mc and she was brilliant, just listened, said all the right things and most importantly isn't pregnant. I told her I don't talk to any of my friends who are pregnant or have babies and that if she gets pregnant I'll probably be the same with her and apologised in advance, she said she would hold off then, ha. She got married this summer so is a likely candidate as always said she would have a kid as soon as they were married but her dh is a teacher and doesn't have a job at the min and is doing supply so until he gets a job they won't do anything.

Temp up today so that would suggest ovulation happened yesterday. Ic OPK yesterday showed a very very pale line suggesting the surge has ended which ties in with the peak on cb the day before. We didn't manage to dtd yesterday. I've put dp under far too much pressure this month. I just had a feeling that it was going to work this month and with the blood test that will confirm Ov then I was sure we would get our bfp. I'm hoping the earlier dtd was sufficient and his swimmers were lively enough to stay in the right place until the egg arrived.

flat not made any enquiries with the clinic yet. I'll hold out for af and hope we don't need to.... So will start enquiries in a couple of weeks. I think that as soon as you pay for these things they just fit you in so not expecting any issues with getting an appointment. I hear you about the cost of cb sticks!! What a joke they cost so much. But I'm going to carry on with them for a few months as they seem to put my mind at rest more than the ic's. flat good news about the ewcm, how long is your cycle? You could possibly be in with a chance still if you dtd on day 12. 3 weeks is not long at all for your appointment! I'm really excited to hear how it goes. Best of luck. Everything crossed you are put forward for IVF, it sounds like it's your only option if there are issues on both sides and looking positively at it, im sure they can find 1 good sperm and 1 good egg. I'm sure we will all have a million questions when you come out. I'm so nosey inquisitive when it comes to these gods of fertility Drs and their opinion on things. Make sure you ask about timings for everything, how long for the appointment, how long after the appointment before treatment will start, when they would expect transfer to take place if all goes to plan.

magpie thanks for sharing about the other people having problems with these opks. It makes me feel like a bit less of a failure. If I go back to them in going to buy 2 batches from 2 different places and use 2 a day. Good luck for ovulation.

Something that has always had me wondering. Do you think that people who don't ovulate, or don't ovulate very often have more eggs left than people who ovulate all the time? Or does it not work like that?

science I am so so, sorry for everything you have been through, it is so desperately unfair and I can only imagine how devastated you must be feeling. I hope you and DH can be kind to yourselves and take time to process. I know that for me the days feel like an eternity, so anything you can do to distract yourselves can only be a good thing in my book. I really really hope a slot becomes available sooner. Much love and strength.

Vap0 Hoping you did indeed Ov, keeping everything crossed for you. Yay for static smiley!! Counter intuitively, not ovulating doesn’t stop the reserves from depleting over the years - otherwise being on the pill would mean we’d have super duper numbers of eggs! Wish that were the case as I’d be swimming in eggs, grrrr

Lots of women on Fertility Friends rave about Reprofit and Gennet for IVF, I only hear v v good things about the Czech clinics too

Magpie welcome!

Flat I literally cannot believe anyone would be so unbelievably oblivious to POAS gate. It beggars belief. Hurrah for EWCM! Tonnes of luck for the fertility clinic - I’m sure they will have very positive suggestions, there’s no reason they should say there’s no hope. Your eggs might not be releasing but unless you have super high FSH like me, or are in your 40s, then there’s no reason you should have compromised egg quality. And ICSI can overcome most sperm issues, so there should very much be lots of hope for you.

birchy big hugs for the anaesthetic. Doesn’t matter how rationally someone can tell you X or Y, doesn’t stop something being emotionally scary. That said I am going to do that exact thing of offering a rational POV - I’ve had a number of procedures with sedation and general anaesthesia over the years, and if anything the ‘wooz juice’ (as the anaesthetist at my recent egg collection called it) is actually rather pleasant.

Newleaf you brought tears to my eyes with your words about your Mum. I so so, feel you. It is totally shit and no mistake. Hugs.

AFM, well I’m CD23 and no Ov. I’m now crapping it that the 18mm dominant follie I had at the scan at the ultrasound clinic on CD13 has turned into a follicular cyst (i.e. the follicle never released an egg and just kept growing) and over analysing every twinge. Seeing the consultant on Friday to discuss next steps. Sod’s law I’ll have a cyst which will delay any FET or fresh cycles. Ugh. So so so weary of infertility. Oh, and my brother-in-law messaged us to say that they’re expecting child number 2. Argh. Baby bombed left right and centre. Just waiting for my brother and SIL to announce they’re expecting. They conceived first month (not even TTC but not TTA) although very sadly lost it a week later. Hoping they will have happy news v soon but also just steeling myself for the bitterness and sadness - they know about everything we’re going through (although DH’s brother doesn’t) so I know when they do have news they will be sensitive about it, hate myself for feeling this way. I’m this horrible bitter twisted hag. What happened to the smiley, chatty, full-of-life person I used to be? Now I just can’t be arsed with, well, life. Just want to hibernate and go to work (keeps me busy) and come home to hide indoors with DH and not have to face the world.

Science that is good news about the fibroid and cyst. Hoping the week goes quickly for you. Best wishes to you and your DH.
*
Vap0* I've wondered that too, I've only ever ovulated on clomid as far as I know in the last few years. So will all my eggs just wait in there forever? The female reproductive system is really quite complex. I've just been talking to DH about all the different hormones that need to be at the right level at the right time. It's a wonder anyone gets pregnant.
Your friend sounds lovely, it's great to have someone in RL to talk to. How are your temps looking today?

Flat thanks! We got so incredibly lucky. I just hope we can this time round too.

Banana Hello! TTC really does take its toll on even the cheeriest person. Sorry about the baby bomb, that sounds tough. Fx you'll still ovulate this cycle.

I'm CD21 now, still negative ic opks, got some other ones yesterday that I got a faint line on. My temps are rising slowly but not enough to indicate ovulation.

Morning All

How is everyone? Any updates? Anyone poas any time soon?

science how are you getting on?

Not much going on here at the min, still temping and there hasn't been the dramatic rise in temp I had last month and no cover line has been drawn yet by ff so still unsure if ovulation happened. In a way I'm kind of hoping it didn't so I can get some clomid or femara when i go back to the dr's. I was thinking of going privately but then realised I'd still be starting it the same time as if I wait for my NHS appointment as don't want to take anything over Xmas. Time seems to be dragging this week. I just want Friday to be here so I can have this blood test! Although then I'll just be wishing time away for the results and then for af and then for next fertile period and then drs appointment. Anyone else feel like they are just constantly wishing time away in search of that bfp?

Hello all

I had my ERPC (evacuation of retained products of conception) on Tuesday. I went in on an emergency list and was touch and go if I'd go down to theatre or have to wait until Friday.

The whole experience was horrific from start to finish. I saw some particularly foul and unsympathetic doctors, woke up from the anaesthetic screaming in pain and have bled like nothing I've ever experienced before. One doctor walked into my room and said "Congratulations". DH and I just looked at him very confused. He repeated himself and said "Congratulations you got pregnant in the first place". No idea what he said after that, I just needed him to leave my room and he did eventually. DH was really good but has gone back to work this morning so having to look after myself today.

Yes Vap0 you're right. I am one of those people who is just wishing time away. Just wishing for this bleeding to be over and for me to feel less heartbroken. However, unlike you, to be honest I'm now terrified of another bfp. I had a tiny little hard bump, all the symptoms, scan photos and 10weeks of a baby inside me. Having all of that again, and potentially having it taken away by a sharp spoon and a uterus hoover makes me feel awful. I so so so hope this never happens to you guys. I wish it happened to nobody.

Really wish I knew how to rebuild my life. I know it will happen. I just want it to happen now.

Science that just sounds horrific! What an arse that dr was! Who would ever say that to anyone after going through what you had just been through! I'd make a complaint. It's not good enough! Bloody men just don't get it! I'm pleased your procedure was done quicker than expected but it just sounds absolutely awful.

I'm sure millions of ladies who have had an early mc would slap me for saying this but i understand it must be much harder when you have seen the baby on a screen and visibly looked pregnant. Don't get me wrong, my mc was the worst thing that has ever happened to me but it must be so much harder having that awful procedure and being pregnant for longer.

It's all just so cruel.

I hope you manage to come to terms with what happened relatively quickly. Did they say how long to expect to bleed for? How long are you off work for now? I'm sorry dh can't be there with you.

I'm sure it's little consolation and a different circumstance but I have come to terms with my mc now. I don't cry about it and haven't for a couple of weeks and mine was Aug 31st. It's the infertility bullshit that gets me upset. I hope the feelings you have ease and you start to feel a little better soon.

How is everyone else? Everyone seems to have gone quiet recently.

I'm quite pleased today that ff has drawn a cover line, suggesting ovulation took place at the same time as CB said. Blood test tomorrow. I have a night out with customers a week on Thursday so have decided I'll use my frer on that morning at 12dpo. Although I'll probably cave in on 10dpo as I had my last positive on 10dpo. Still have some ic's so hopefully that will help keep me busy rather than wasting a frer.