Would you be my Infertility/Clomid/Follicle tracking friend please?!

[scienceteachergeek]

Hi there ladies

I’m really looking for a ‘clomid friend’ or ‘infertility pal’!

I’m 30, DH is 38. I came off the pill July 2013 to regulate my cycles and ended 15yrs of antidepressants in March 2014 as I’d read that was the best plan if possible.

I’d been having regular 27/30day cycles since I came off the pill but after no positive tests, buying OPKs and the Clearblue Advanced Fertility Monitor, plus charting temps and monitoring my cervix and mucus it quickly became apparent that I wasn’t ovulating. After all the blood tests, sperm analysis, trans-vaginal scans and the HSG it showed that he was fine but I wasn’t ovulating, but there was not obvious reason why.

Fast forward to now, 2yrs since coming off the pill, I have been prescribed clomid and have taken my first 5 tablets. I’m day 12 today and have been having follicle tracking to check if the drugs have worked. My largest follicle was 16.4mm today and have to go back on Wednesday to check it again.

Do any of you know if that’s a good size? Or have any experiences of being further down the clomid path? Or are you in a similar position? I just feel like I’m going out of my mind and could really use a buddy!

Thanks for reading and hugs to you all. Interested in hearing from any of you xxx

Thanks newleaf, a perfect summary :)

Fingers crossed you never need to TTC in November. I have no symptoms, none of my usual clomid type feelings. Feeling so 'nothing' has only made me more convinced that clomid failed me this month and that I didn't ovulate.

Appointment to get more isn't until a month today when I know they'll give me 100mg. I'm a bit concerned about doubling the dose but hey ho, I'll do as I'm told.

Just back from the Harvester, yum! DH and I had a good chat about you all

newleaf hoping those symptoms turn into a bfp and not af! Especially as you have to wait so long to try again!!
Have you tested again this mornin with fmu?

science have you tried the super hot sauce at harvester? I think it's new? Well, was new when I went there last about 6 months ago...
I just love the salad there, I've normally pigged out in so much salad that I can't eat my main by the time it arrives

We ended going out drinking all day yesterday which wasn't quite what I expected but I thought that I won't be drinking again for a couple of weeks - hopefully 9 months so another last blow out! Having a few drinks I think gave dp some Dutch Courage as I had already warned him we need to dtd yesterday and he suggested putting a bit of porn on to help get hm in the mood on those days when neither of us are intereste or feeling particularly sexy. So we put some on last night when we came in and dtd twice! Not like him at all to do it twice in such quick succession...
Opk update - tested this morning and the test line is about a third of the darkness as the control line. Whoop whoop! Looks like we may in fact ovulate this month!
Away tonight
Back late on Tuesday and will be exhausted after a long day standing around at a trade show and will be having a late night with work colleagues tonight. Balls!
Will have to pounce on dp the second I arrive home as I would expect ovulation line to appear tomorrow or Wednesday desperately hoping for wednesday and then it is back to the joys of the 2ww. I think the 2ww is easier for me these days lies as ovulation a is such a pain in the bum with all the timed "tactical shagging" and not knowing when it's happened!

So all fingers and toes crossed for us all

Thanks for the summary NewLeaf! I'm not on any meds now as they want me to spend another 6 months (now 4 months) monitoring my cycles. Out of the 9 that I have properly monitored to date, I have had 2 cycles where I didn't ovulate and 4 where I ovulated ridiculously late in the cycle . I've also had cycles where everything has been perfect and I still haven't got a BFP .

How are you doing? Has AF come yet or have you tested again? That is so infuriating about DH and timetables not matching up.

Vap - twice in one day? You stud! I struggle with twice in a week (jokes - sort of!). I really hope it pays off! I've just done a TS but hold zero hope for it as I didn't even get a vague second line in the IC.

Ooooo I'd love to go to Last Night of The Proms! It's just so darn expensive...but what an experience! Hopefully one day !

Stressing out about being away tonight!
Loads and loads of ewcm all day and so much tonight!
So scared we are missing ovulation.
The hopeful thought is maybe if it's happening now then maybe last night was enough.
Or hopefully we catch it tomorrow night when I get back in.

Argh! I'm going totally nuts with all of this tracking! It's all I think about all day every day! I'm a total nut job

Did an opk again this afternoon and there was no line at all but I struggle with drinking too much in the day so they don't tend to work well for me.

Can't wait to test again in the morning. No liquid until after fmu!

Any other updates?

Newleaf did you test again?

I know I've only ovulated twice but I get the ewcm 2 days before the egg is released. That might make you feel better

DH didn't finish until 3am last night and managed to totally upset myself in his absence Looked into IVF and adoption again last night because I just felt so so low. God this game is tough!

Good luck lovely ladies x

Science - oh no! How did he upset you? Hope you're ok! What are you thinking about IVF and adoption and stuff?

Vap - oh no (to you too)! How frustrating. You never know though...if it's happening NOW then the sperm from yesterday should be there...and if there's a delay then the new sperm tomorrow should catch it. It's all just pot luck at the end of the day, frustrating as that is.

I totally know how stressful it is. I've wasted so many hours on everything TTC and trying to interpret OPKs and second guess when and how often we should DTD. Obviously it's never worked! I've just done an OPK now which is pretty much positive (or will be in a few hours) and I'm away from DH. Hopefully going to make it home tomorrow (I'm in a shit job where I can never guarantee on actually being allowed home) before DH goes away on Thurs.

I also know what you mean about the water! I did an OPK this afternoon and thought I'd drunk nothing since going to the loo 3 hours before...looked at my desk and I had somehow drunk 3/4 of my 1lt bottle of water. Oops!

Science - thanks for your experience, could you just clarify, does the ewcm stop before ovulation? So do you have ewcm for 2 days and then ovulation happens on day 3 with no ewcm?
Right with you on the IVF and adoption research! So bloody crap all of it! I've read so much about IVF I could probably write an essay on it!

Another opk this morning with no line at all! Argh! When I get the motivation I'll photograph the last week(ish) of opk's and you can see my pitiful attempt at ovulation with my very very low levels of hormones.

flat that is crap! This is the bloody story of this thread, someone finally ovulated but is in the wrong place always because of bloody work to take advantage of it!

Not having a good day today, totally gutted about the lost possibility this month and the negative opk's! However my body has been telling me a different story with cramping, bloating and ewcm which also means that I can't even have a drink guilt free just in case! In such a bad place and just can't wait for af, whenever the hell she will arrive which of course I have no idea about when she is due either which will add to the stress this month. Why the hell cant I just ovulate like normal people??? waiting for af to appear and will then rummage around for the fertility clinic details and make sure this appointment is all booked in for January it's going to be a long winter!

Argh!!!!!!

Science you're calling for your blood test results today aren't you? Keep us updated!

newleaf where have you gone? Did you test or did af arrive?

Picture shows 1 opk per day
Bottom one is from today
2nd from bottom yesterday
Etc

Useless!

Hi ladies,

Sorry to have disappeared, I started writing a post yesterday but I am so swamped with work I didnt get to finish/submit it.

Long and short is that AF arrived today.... like clockwork i guess thats the positive, it was exactly when i expected it to, 14 days after my "80% positive" OPK.

I just don't understand why I can't get pregnant. I had a massive meltdown yesterday with it having AF cramps and a BFN, I'm not sure if it was all to much or if work stress and a bad day compounded it but I am a bit fed up...

Not sure whether to take the Clomid tomorrow night or not. If I do I will have to put my foot down with work to make sure I am with DH at the right time. ... huge sighs.....

Anyway!!!

Vap sorry about your crap OPK testing results, its so annoying the waiting and anticipation and mind occupying-ness of it all. Just try keep at it like last time I guess. If it happened once it will happen again.

science hope you get your blood results back soon

No time at work today to call them to ask. Hopefully find time tomorrow. If you don't ring the consultant secretaries before 4pm they've all gone home!

Sorry we're all feeling so down. Flat, he didn't upset me, I think I just got really sad because he was working until 3am and I was lonely Hearing about some of the awful calls he's taken makes me feel lucky to be alive and well though.

Vap0 the opks from the last couple of days look good...no idea why the line went dark again. Any chance you missed it? My ewcm stops completely two days before ovulation. I try to use pre-seed but he doesn't like how it feels!

About adoption...got a colleague going through it at the moment. The process sounds bloody awful!

morning
newleaf sorry to hear about af. It's such a tough time of the month emotionally. We are here if you need to vent! I have been thinking I will pull a few sickies over ovulation time at some point. Although it's only any good if you know you will be ovulating and when and more importantly hotels haven't been paid for and already away. A friend has suggested to me I should book a baby making holiday but dp is a teacher and none of his bloody holidays ever fall on the right time. Have you made your clomid decision?

My opk's ... I'm wondering if this batch aren't as good as previous batches? Or maybe I just have no hormones? Who knows. Just hope I don't have to wait forever for af, there is someone in mn who I speak with who had a mc about 9 weeks ago (at about 11 weeks, she had a d&c) who is yet to see af. It's total torture for her. secretly hopeful the opk's are wrong and I did ovulate as we have done plenty of dtd this month did another opk this morning and nothing. Think this batch can go in the bin and buy new ones for next month.

science I took your information about ovulating 2 days after ewcm ends (mine ended Tuesday) and we dtd last night which I would have not bothered with before. It was crap and I had zero interest. Last time of timed sex this month! Thank god! Defo didn't miss a positive, I just kept 1opk from each day but tested on the days I had lines 2 or 3 times. They are all so faint. So bloated this month. And tired. And have to work Saturday too which I'm not looking forward to! Boooo!

flat did you make it home to dtd yesterday?

Hey team!

How is everyone doing? Sounds like you're all having a bit of a rubbish time. I'm sorry .

NewLeaf - I'm sorry about AF and I'm sorry about the meltdown. We've all been there. Two weeks ago I genuinely spent three nights in tears over the whole thing. It is so unbelievably awful and there is nothing anyone can do or say. How are you feeling now? What have you decided to do about Clomid? I really hope you're feeling a bit better now.

Vap - I'm sorry about the crap OPKs. Hopefully you did actually ovulate! You never know! As for the baby making holiday, it may just add more pressure to things. We did that 6 months ago - went to a sunny place, DTD twice a day, really relaxed, ovulated on time...and nothing . That said, it wouldn't hurt for you just to spend some quality time with OH as you can't see each other that much of you're always away.

ScienceTeacher - how are you getting on? I hope you're feeling a bit better. I also hope OH is ok - sounds like he has a stressful job.

Vap - I did manage to get home and DTD. Got home really late last night and we instantly got down to it. I think we both faked a few "Oh yeh, that feels good" comments as I thought about an email I'd forgotten to send a client. The highlight was when the cat came in and bit DH's foot, which was not very sexy but totally hilarious for me. We also did it at 6am this morning. Possibly one of the most unpleasant experiences of both of our lives. DH was understandably struggling and I thought about calling the whole thing off...but he managed to come through literally in the end. I'd say my chances of a BFP this month are 0.012%.

In good news, I'm finally having some blood tests...

flat you have just had me in fits of laughter! I love this!

I just laughed out loud too!

Firstly, fucking hospital won't tell me my results over the phone. Rang today and the woman with THE most annoying voice EVER picked up the phone. Ringing to complain tomorrow. Ran my doctors surgery who also agreed it was ridiculous. They'll send the result out in the post in the next few weeks but can't tell me on the phone. Ludicrous! Furious!

Also in the middle of big argument with DH after he sent me a 'cute video' of a husband being shown a positive pregnancy test and crying and being all emotional. Why the FUCK he thought I'd love it too was beyond me...cue me to start sobbing.

Cried and cried while he held me for less than a minute, got up and carried on doing his own thing....cue me to sob even more that he doesn't seem to give a shit.

Then he tells me how sad it's making him and he can't think of anything else either...cue me to hyperventilate with tears as that's obviously made me feel worse about myself. Then I tell him that if it's bothering him so much he should start eating a healthy diet rather than the shit he usually does and to stop drinking. That made him pretty pissed off and hasn't spoken to me since. He's a tiny framed man who never gains weight. Since January I've been eating healthier than normal, going to the gym and drinking loads of water. I've lost nearly 3 stone. He's made no changes to his life and every little helps surely?

I've been avoiding him all night and only got in 30mins ago!

Seriously wish we could all feel better. We're all so low!

What bloods you having flat?

Oh god science this sounds like hell!

Go to bed and end this day! Tomorrow has to be better!!

I think these men are in a different planet to us!

I had a total meltdown today after my colleague/friend asked me how the ttc is going (not spoken for 6 weeks). We have been discussing it for the last 2 years. Actually talking about the mc out loud (on the phone thankfully) just destroyed me! Had to pull over to cry. Told dp about it and he seems to have run out of sympathy! He also has done sweet f a to help this process, since his sa came back with flying colours he just sits back all smug!

Bloody men!

Flat your post made me giggle too.. The struggles we go thru....

I'm so sorry everyone is having a bit of a shit and emotional time. I have spent the morning in tears too but glad to know I'm not the only one who feels they are hanging in there by their fingernails.

Work is stressful, life is stressful and it's coming up to loss of parent anniversary which is stressful, DH is being demanding and my body is just crap. Sometimes you feel you simply can't keep everyone happy and in the end no one is happy!

Gah! Venting over.

Sending super happy Friday vibes to everyone.

Today I am going to be extremely productive so I can chill out tomorrow (and catch a plane for work!) and I am also going to sneak somewhere on my way home and treat myself... I don't know how but it sounds like a good idea

Well I'm certainly feeling better since finding out today that I did in fact ovulate! Mega happy and wept! This happiness will undoubtedly last just up until Sunday when AF is expected! Hooray....two days of positivity!!!

Treat yourself? Sounds exciting! I'm hoping I get treated a week on Tuesday....wedding anniversary

Hopefully we can all have a nice weekend chilling...do any of us work weekends?

This week I think we've all learnt that as much as we try to be superhuman, we just aren't. Crying is ok and the fact that our partners can be really rubbish!

Anyone got news? I have zero symptoms of pregnancy but might have a traditional POAS tomorrow!

Good afternoon everyone. Hope you're all sort of OK.

I'm glad my horrific sex life has provided some comfort .

Science - OMG, what was your DH thinking? What a total numpty! Did he say why he thought it would be a good idea? What an idiot. Shall I set my killer cat on him? . I think the men just struggle to know what to do or say. DH has never done anything that insensitive, but he often avoids chatting when I NEED to talk about it. Last month was the worst of all months because I'd really got my hopes up. He'd already told me he was struggling with how this has taken over everything and it's really bringing him down, so I made a real effort to keep the cray cray locked inside and didn't tell him about all my symptoms etc. Anyway, when AF was clearly on her way I was distraught. I texted him that evening saying something along the lines of "AF is on her way. Feel so shit" and he just replied along the lines of "Sorry to hear that". I then erupted into floods of tears honestly, the met office issued a warning about flash floods in the North East from all my tears because I needed more from him and needed him to CALL ME and ask how I was doing and offer sympathy etc. When we eventually spoke he basically said my text had crushed him and he just didn't know what to do or say...which I get, but he should at least try.

Vap - I'm sorry to hear you've had a horrible few days too. So all of us have cried at some point over the past two weeks?! Maybe it's some sort of internet chain reaction; one of us gets hysterical then the rest follow.

NewLeaf - I'm so sorry to hear you're also dealing with the anniversary of your parent's death. How awful. It does feel like bad things always come all at once . It sounds like all of us are just under so much pressure (infertility, work, men, more work etc). Definitely treat yourself! You totally deserve it! What are you thinking of doing?

As for bloods, I'm having two lots and they're testing FSH, Progesterone, Thyroid, hidden chlamydia and something else I can't remember. I'm hoping to have it done in the next few weeks, but on the days I need to have it (days 1-5 of cycle and day 20ish of cycle) they're either on holiday and there are no appointments, or it's a weekend. I'm just so sick of the endless waiting...

P.S. Do any of you know how long ovulation actually lasts? I got a 95% OPK on Tues night then negative after that...my temps have stayed the same (low) so I obviously haven't finished ovulating...but I've felt pain around my ovaries all of yesterday & today. I just wonder whether "ovulation" is something that takes a matter of minutes/hours/days?

Actual egg release is quick but as sperm can stay alive 4days in us the fertile period is longer. The egg sack swells over the month, gets bigger and bigger (causing pain sometimes) then the sack pops and there's an egg loose around our fallopian tubes! The egg has to find a sperm quickly before it gets into the uterus or it's game over. That's why we need to get 'on it' before the egg hatches!

Yes, please send your killer cat

Ahhh interesting. You make a very good science teacher ! So if I still feel quite a bit of pain, I probably haven't ovulated yet (but am about to)?

If it's still hurting it sounds like it's getting ready to pop. What day are you?

I'm glad I make a good science teacher

Gosh it's been a busy day on here!

Everyone sounds a little more upbeat today

What is everyone up to tonight? I'm on my hopeful 2ww and so am not drinking and am home alone (dp thought I was working away and so has gone out with school friends), it's quite good as its stopping me being tempted by booze! she says after having polished off a chicken kebab, some chips, the RED jelly babies and 3 mini packs of Cadbury buttons

So it's candles on, 9 in total, blanket and snuggled on the sofa watching the TV looking forward to gogglebox!

science I'm so pleased you ovulated!!! Brilliant news! You dtd lots tip his month too didn't you? Can't wait for you to test! Be sure to update us ASAP! How many years have you been married? Hopefully a bfp will be just in time for your anniversary.... Fingers and toes crossed for you we are ready for some good news on here! Let's hope you can bring it

flat your dp sounds lovely, although he doesn't appear as supportive as he could be he sounds like he is more on all of our wave length and seem to share and understand your pain. I wish my dp was a bit like that, he is just of the opinion "it will happen when it happens, there is nothing we can do to speed it up, no point crying about it" which is really annoying but probably quite a good leveller for me!

Working tomorrow (sad), I never work weekends, although it will be all good when I get my lieu day for Xmas shopping later in the year! I suppose it has come at a good time when I'm not drinking too!

Anyone have any good plans for the weekend? I'm thinking on Sunday I may go for a swim!

science your ovulation is giving me hope! Even though the opk's said no I think I did, also my "symptoms" this month are mimmicking last month. When I say symptoms I'm talking tiredness and cramps and today the total lack of symptoms which is what happened last time. Need to not get my hopes up too much but can't help it! I'll be testing next Friday at the earliest, but still too early really!

We've been married almost 3yrs...the leather anniversary. Hope I'm getting some shoes, I've dropped enough hints!!

Really hope you ovulated Vap0, so chuffed that I did. I told the woman who rang ne she was a 'hero', I meant it too!

After doing school work literally all of last weekend I've awarded myself a weekend off. Going on a long train ride to Preston tomorrow to see a friend for the day then seeing MIL on Sunday.

I really thought that having good news today would mean I'd sleep better but it has gone midnight again and I'm still struggling. Not slept properly for a week now and it's really bothering me. Tired but can't sleep.

I'll test tomorrow morning but as I've no symptoms I'm not expecting a miracle!

Ok, so this just happened! Cannot, just cannot fucking believe it. Just cannot! Shaking so much I can barely type! DH has gone to get me a tea! I don't even need to ask you guys if you can see it or not! The machine told me! Lines on the IC came up first though. Oh my god. I really hope you like my good news and aren't too mad at me! Month 26 off the pill!!!