Would you be my Infertility/Clomid/Follicle tracking friend please?!

[scienceteachergeek]

Hi there ladies

I’m really looking for a ‘clomid friend’ or ‘infertility pal’!

I’m 30, DH is 38. I came off the pill July 2013 to regulate my cycles and ended 15yrs of antidepressants in March 2014 as I’d read that was the best plan if possible.

I’d been having regular 27/30day cycles since I came off the pill but after no positive tests, buying OPKs and the Clearblue Advanced Fertility Monitor, plus charting temps and monitoring my cervix and mucus it quickly became apparent that I wasn’t ovulating. After all the blood tests, sperm analysis, trans-vaginal scans and the HSG it showed that he was fine but I wasn’t ovulating, but there was not obvious reason why.

Fast forward to now, 2yrs since coming off the pill, I have been prescribed clomid and have taken my first 5 tablets. I’m day 12 today and have been having follicle tracking to check if the drugs have worked. My largest follicle was 16.4mm today and have to go back on Wednesday to check it again.

Do any of you know if that’s a good size? Or have any experiences of being further down the clomid path? Or are you in a similar position? I just feel like I’m going out of my mind and could really use a buddy!

Thanks for reading and hugs to you all. Interested in hearing from any of you xxx

Oh my gosh newleaf how infuriating your friend sounds going off on a baby making holiday! What the heck? As if it's just that easy?! Although I bet you're right and she gets her bfp in the 1 St month trying.

I have a work friend (male) whose wife stopped her pill a month or so ago as they were starting trying. He was updating me (last update no af and no bfp) but I can't cope with discussing it with him at the min and just don't know if I can cope with hearing about another instant bfp so have been avoiding him.

It's crap how this infertility stuff isolates you from normal life. I avoid so many circumstances now and people. I can't bare to even speak with friends who have new babies, let alone send them a card or visit them. It makes you so bitter and alone.

Science you're lucky to have a blood test so you'll at least know either way! As I mentioned, last month I never had anywhere near a positive so didn't think I ovulated. Sounds like you've dtd as much as you can this month. Hoping for the best! You'll have to update us with your blood test results.

After having my very faint line and what looks too sticky for ewcm but don't know how else to describe it as it's not like the school glue phase I'm feeling like we need to dtd tonight as we haven't since Saturday. But I really can't be bothered and really don't want to. Didn't sleep well last night to say the least, I had this weird stabbing pain in the tip of my shoulder, kind of where your arm ends and your shoulder begins. It was so painful I was awake most of the night, took some ibuprofen and finally fell asleep at about 5am. So, the dr asked me about any shoulder tip pain during mc as it can be a sign of ectopic. Am I being totally crazy and imagining this or not? I don't know how I could imagine a pain like this but why would it be happening now? I checked the nhs website and they say it is caused by a referred pain from your tubes I think and happens if there is bleeding. I have been having strange cramps from all around there today and so thought it was ovulation but maybe not? Just very hopeful we get stronger lines soon and more importantly sleep better so i actually want to dtd.

Best of luck to everyone

How odd Vap0. Hope you sleep better tonight and that tomorrow is a good day.

I've just laid down in bed, taken my folic acid and had a real meltdown. Sobbed for 30mins about there being no point in taking the folic acid because it'll never happen to me and I feel like a joke taking it. Then sobbed even more when I said, "Surely I want one enough to be allowed one, it's so unfair."

I don't think it helps that I teach at a school where they're all in care from either being unwanted or mistreated. Also, it's our 3rd wedding anniversary soon so that'll get everyone wondering why we're not parents yet, just like it did last year and the year before.

Oh what a load of poo!

Who is next to test on a pregnancy test?

Oh science so sorry you're having such a tough time. I hope you're feeling a bit better today. Must be so hard being surrounded by kids all day long as it is let alone them having tough backgrounds. We are here for you to vent! How are you getting on with your folic acid now? Have the side effects settled down? Please keep taking it. You'll be grateful in the end! I'm on my 3rd bottle now of 180 tablets in each
I think you're up 1st to test this month.
But if I'm wrong let me know!
Opk today looks exacts like yesterday's. Only visible when looking at it on a bright window sill.

Oh and this mornings FB delights

Pregnant friend complaining she has never been so tired in her life and how she hasn't slept for months

Sil complaining her 3yo has had her up since 4am and now has baby sick in her hair.

Brilliant!

Science - have you had a peak yet? How infuriating. I also get that every other month. Such a waste. I'm so sorry about your wobble. I've had a few of those in my time! I also stopped taking folic acid one month until DH went crazy (it's really dangerous for the baby not to take it, so please do take it!). It all just seems so unbelievably unfair that we (ie those on this thread) don't even have one healthy baby and others seem to pop them out all the time .

NewLeaf - sorry you're having so many questions fired at you. It's horrible . I'm afraid your friend will probably come back pregnant. My friend got married 2 months ago and was vocal about wanting a honeymoon baby...I guess we'll get that news in a month or 2 . I also have a (male) work colleague who is clearly about the start TTC...I know it's awful, but I just feel so low and so angry with those who are about to have an easy journey (awful cow I know).

Vap - that's odd about your shoulder. Did you sleep better last night? Your FB friend is a total bell-end (as are most of mine!). Double dare you to comment "and you look really fat too".

Do any of you have the Clearblue Fertility Monitor thing? Is it any good? When do you test? I keep seeing people say how good they are but they're just SO expensive with no guarantee...

I have the clearblue advanced fertility monitor, really good...until this month! It is usually so very accurate. The first month on clomid, when I was having the tracking, the scan showed I'd ovulate the following day...then the machine confirmed it when I woke up. When I had the follow up scan she agreed that I indeed had released an egg, on the day the machine had told me I would. Got a peak last month and the month before but I've just looked at my sticks and might still ovulate tomorrow, we'll see.

You have to test it with your first wee of the day. I really like it. Mine was second hand off ebay

I've only got one pregnant friend at the moment. Every Monday her FB post revolves around the fact that she is another week pregnant. I feel for you guys having to face so many people who are trying xxx

Thanks Science. I'm tempted to get one but don't know if I'll resent the cost if I get no closer to a BFP. Useful to know that you think it's good though!

Just had another FB baby bomb. Friend having her second baby and they've announced it by the first one holding up her scan. She's a lovely person, but my God my heart has broken again.

I also have another PG friend moaning about how fat she feels. Literally STFU...

Hi!

Fingers crossed you get your peak tomorrow science! When is your scan or is it a blood test you have planned which will confirm either way?

These monitors do sound good although I can't bare the thought of spending all of the money and it still not working. Plus the ic opk's are fairly reliable. I use mine 1st thing in the morning although they say you should use it in the middle of the day but that just doesn't work for me! 1stly I'm always in a supermarket or public loo at that kind of time of day and I've never had anywhere near a line if I don't use fmu. I think I have the lowest levels of hormones ever!

Flat have you tried the ic's?

Not much going on here! Just dtd and had my legs in the air for 10 mins. No idea where we are in the cycle so just trying to dtd every other day until the opk's say anything. Phew! Neither of us were interested tonight. Such a bloody pressure to dtd!

P.S. Shoulder pain has gone. Only lasted for 1 night which correlated with some mad cramping. So pleased it's all stopped!

It's a day 21 blood test. I'll have it on Friday. I have three more fertily test sticks left this month. I'll use them for the next three days and give up this month. Not dtd since Sunday though.

DH decided we'd watch a film tonight. He chose 'Raising Arizona'. A film about an infertile woman who steals a baby from parents who have quints! Bless him, he did say at the start, "We won't watch it if you think it's too close to home!" It was one of those crazy Cohen brothers films. Very odd!

Glad the shoulder pain has gone Vap0 and sorry about these pregnant people Flat.

Goodnight lovely ladies

That is such a brilliant film! Not seen it for years! Did it upset you watching it? I want to watch it now but think we should wait until after we have some good news!

Looking forward to an update from you and your fertility monitor science

Hi ladies you have all been busy posting a lot lately, it's nice to have some pals in on it all!

Keep DTD science, you never know when those eggs will pop out and maybe your monitor won't pick it up..?

I just use IC OPKs like Vap, I try do them in the afternoon or evening even if I get a whack response from an afternoon one I'll even do two on a day...

Things have been busy for me which is great for passing by the TWW. Wondering whether I'll be able to have a clomid cycle next month as it seems to also be a bit of a crazy month....

Although I'm not sure I even ovulated, and not sure DH and I were together at the right time, I'll still be POAS from next Monday onwards. No clomid and slim chances hasn't affected the POAS addiction or madness...

When are your day 21 bloods science? Good luck to u and let us know how u get on. Be aware that the blood work should be done 7 days after suspected ovulation (is that right??) so if u are still getting high now and u have bloods in 3 days maybe it's too early to show the real results?

Weekends in the way of scans and bloods are super annoying it's messed up a few of my tests.

It's all such guess work anyway. I think all we can take comfort from is that whether we catch the right moment to test or not won't change the fact that we did or didn't ovulate, it just means we might not know. That's what I am hoping anyway with my OPKs...

The machine is programmed to show 'highs' until it picks up a rise in LH. It will read the same for missing the peak it as it would for an annovulatory cycle. In reality I'm probably not 'high' at all. I'll go for the bloods on Friday, day 21.

Only the end of the story upset me, when he discusses his dream of the future. It meant that I dreamt last night we had a girl, we named her Utopia!!! That would never happen, DH would only let me call a baby a 'normal name'!

Funny though

newleaf I didn't realise you are up 1st to test! Sounds like there is some hope! Did you get a positive opk this month then even without the clomid?
science we will download it then if it didn't upset you I think I'll enjoy it
I watched "what to expect when you're expecting" (when I was expecting) and one of the ladies lost her baby at about 11 weeks and I cried a lot. Don't think I could deal with that one now!
I'm getting really deflated now, another opk today with no line at all again, not even tilting it into the light which you shouldn't need to do with these as they need to be at least as dark as the control line. Fertile window (according to my app) is due to start tomorrow and runs until Wednesday but the app is all wrong due to mc and if counting and leaving out the mc I should be ovulating today. Annoyingly I'm away next Monday with work so hoping if it does happen it doesn't happen then!
Does anyone else have no line whatsoever for most of the time?

Hi vap ... Don't be too hard on yourself I guess the body needs a while to reset before it realises what it should be doing again!?? It will come right eventually, just keep poas and you'll catch it.

My OPKs are usually blank too until suddenly they show up at around 60-70% darkness. My two clomid cycles I would say one was 100% positive and the second cycle I would say I caught it at 95% positive. I always have really clear urine so I think that affects the results.nthe time I got the 100% darkness I was dehydrated so I think that's why I got a strong result.

This month opk I probably got around 85% positive test, but I wasn't testing with strong urine and wasn't very consistent with my testing once DH left the UK, I tested once more at a random time so I'm not sure if it happened or not. Also this month I didn't get any ovulation pains like I did the two clomid months.... maybe I am building myself up for a fall writing it all down now doesn't seem that hopeful!!!

science good luck for your test, fingers crossed for u, let us know how u get on!

Keep the faith Newleaf. Although I'll be so gutted if I've not ovulated this month too. I didn't get any ovulation pain this time, and obviously no 'peak' on the machine. If I can't ovulate every month when I'm on it what hope is there for next month when I'm not on it for the month

Blood test tomorrow.

Vap0 I have no second line at all for most of my cycle, then it just gets darker and darker. I had no idea you'd been expecting before, is this your second mc then? How long did it take to regulate yourself last time?

Hi science sorry no, only had 1mc, sorry if that's confusing. We watched it the weekend we came home from our holiday before mc.

Thanks science and newleaf for your opk experiences. It makes me feel a lot better. Most other people I have spoken with have all told me they have a line half as dark at least all month and then get blazing aubergine lines when ovulating. Although the other people are all super fertile people who seem to get pregnant easily so our lack of hormones will probably have a lot to do with our problems.

I test in the morning due to the watering down problem. If I'm not massively dehydrated I can't get any kind of line whatsoever so when I'm testing I don't have a drink in the night which I find really tough as I'm just a really thirsty person.

Good luck with your test science hope you did in fact ovulate and it was just your machine which missed it.

Had the blood test. Have to wait a few days, I'll probably call on Wednesday. Period due a week tomorrow anyway.

Newleaf, when are you testing?
Vap0, keep DTD!

My husband's new job means he now wears a uniform He told me he'd only be wearing it while he's actually in work and would be getting changed into and out of it at work....I politely told him that wasn't going to work for me! What's the point in having a man in uniform and not showing it off to your wife?!

Hooray for the weekend, hope you guys can relax. I'll be doing school work all weekend but at least it's in my pjs rather than work attire!

Haha science make the most of that uniform! My DH wears a uniform too ?? but the affect does wear off a bit I must tell u...

But thinking of my DH doing his job does do the trick still and thinking of other women fancying him... Anyway I think it's nice we can still get turned on by our partners despite the years of baby making sex, some of which has literally just been coz we have to, I'm sure you know the kind of DTD I mean...

Looking to next cycle I think we will have to skip clomid again ???? due to schedules.... Sucks hugely....

Oh yes Newleaf I certainly am familiar with that kind of DTD. Think I managed to actually fully enjoy 3/8 of the sessions last fertile period!!! The others were just 'get the job done' sessions.

Hi everyone. Hope you've all had a good week? Any updates? NewLeaf - are you testing tomorrow? That's annoying about schedules .

Vap - I love 'What to expect when you're expecting'. That miscarriage storyline gets me every time though. So sad. I don't know why, but every film/TV programme I watch seems to have sodding pregnancy and babies in. I'm just catching up with Homeland and thank God there are no babies in that (so far!).

CD10 here. DH is away Thurs - Sun which is exactly when I'm scheduled to ovulate. FFS. Why does this have to be so hard?

P.S. I'm the queen of tactical shags at the moment. I genuinely think 90% of the sex we have at the moment is timetabled 'because we have to' sex! Last month it was a lot more relaxed and fun, yet we still didn't get a BFP .

Ooh science what type of uniform? Sounds great! I love it when dp wears a suit, he does every day but hardly ever see him in it as I'm home later then him. One good thing about being invited to so many weddings

Yes newleaf are you up 1st to test?

Yes all of this scheduled dtd is pretty crap. I told dp this morning in the car that we need to do it at some point today and he can tell me when. Don't you just hate it when you're shattered and get into bed and realise you haven't dtd and need to. That seems to happen so often these days.

A slight bit of progress on the opk's, I can see a very slight line without even tilting it into the light clutching at straws, just hoping it gets stronger! My app reckons I'm in the middle of my fertile window (which of course is wrong) so I'm hoping with this little line is maybe just at the beginning....

flat you're so right! There seem to be so many pregnant people around, more than normal. We went to the zoo the other day and counted 8 pregnant ladies, yes, I'm that bloody obsessed that I even seemed to make a subconscious note of how many there were! And bearing in mind you only notice them when they are probably 5+ months on there are just so many!!
flat that's rubbish that you'll miss your entire fertile window! I'm sorry to hear that! There is nothing more frustrating than knowing you're missing a whole month!

We have had quite a boozy weekend, still suffering now. I made the most of it as won't be drinking now until af (banking on actually having a positive opk). Just been invited out for drinks in a couple of weekends time and I'm not sure what to do.

I baked a birthday cake for a family friend yesterday, I was quite impressed with myself! I never cook and certainly never ever bake!

Did anyone watch last night of the proms? I absolutely love it! I'd love to go and see it live one day

How has everyone else's weekend gone?

I wouldn't worry about going for drinks Vap0, unless they're going to be expecting you to get in a real state. I read a while back that it takes a good few weeks for the ball of growing cells to even use your blood so even getting really drunk doesn't matter in the beginning! I think I'm going out in Bristol in two weeks, I intend on having a couple (a couple is all I need as I rarely drink!)

I had my head in my laptop working all of yesterday and last night and today. Having 7 weeks off is wonderful but not when there's always so much to do when term starts again. No idea what he had on TV but I doubt it was the proms...not really his thing.

Baking eh Vap0...very good. I'm very rarely trusted with the oven as I either burn myself or the food. DH does all the cooking, he does crazy shifts though so always leaves my food in saucepans. He works for the Ambulance Service...nice uniform

Flat I love your phrase 'tactical shag'!

Newleaf when are you testing? AF due for me in a week and already have a couple of huge, sore spots

Hello tactical shagging ladies. Its definitely a good term...

I POAS this afternoon and bfn... having a no clomid month i have some symptoms i haven't the past two months namely bigger, swollen sore boobs instead of clomid month perky painful nipples. I was stupidly hoping it was some sort of symptom deep down but of course i also know its just hormones!!

sadly i also worked out that we have to skip next cycle too. so, from July being my most recent Clomid month to NOVEMBER, (just as i thought...) being the next month we can properly TTC. God when AF arrives this week i am going to have a pity party i can anticipate it already. .. Long cycles + bad timing SUCKS!

But right now i don't feel too bad about it.

So,

Vap you are waiting for O and body to recover...

Flat you are waiting for O (are you on any meds Flat?), i hope your O is delayed a bit for DH to come back. Truly sucks having to skip a cycle I know..

Science you are waiting for BFP and 21 blood results... Hope you aren't working too hard over your Sunday!

Enjoy the rest of your weekends ladies. x