Anyone starting IVF soon? Join me (3)

[purplemeggie]

Ha! I was just about to post the last message in the old thread linking to this, but I'm too late, we've already filled it up! I'll do the same as last time and send PMs to everyone who's been on the thread recently, but everyone's welcome

Hey Shellster, I'm still here! Currently 6dp5dt and really not feeling it. I have definitely lost my mojo this time around. Feeling a bit deflated, resigned and frankly not pregnant. I have thoroughly had enough of IVF and all it involves...just want to get this over with!

Anyway I have decided to test on Tuesday which will be 14dpo. My OTD is Thursday but I think there should be enough HCG on Tuesday to get an accurate result. I have the day off on Tuesday (it's my birthday) so I think I'd rather find out then than have to go to work for the rest of the day.

Heli, try not to be too dispirited. Sounds like you've got some good embryos in the freezer and it's better to do the transfer when you're 100% back to normal. In the grand scheme of things a few extra months won't hurt.

Tuesday isn't too far away then blue. Although I tested at 13dpo and got a very definite negative, despite my levels being 390 at 16dpo. So who knows. I want to say happy birthday but I know how turning another year older when age is the enemy is just plain depressing. I turned 38 just days after my EC too.

Thanks Shellster, if it's negative on Tues I'll test again on Thurs just to make sure. Thanks for the birthday wishes, I'll take 'em! Got a nice birthday dinner planned.

Glad you've got a nice dinner planned blue. Sounds like you're just a bit over all this IVF and allowing yourself to try to live normal as much as possible rather than living around this IVF outcome. Everything feels easy for me to say now that I have my BFP and I'm just another one of those annoying in your face pregnant women. So on the one hand I want to quietly disappear from the thread and stop annoying everyone, while on the other hand I am so grateful for the support yourself and purple have provided (and everyone else, but you guys have been here for the long haul and we've seen eachothers repeated struggles) so I want to be here for you at the same time.

Shellster you are NOT an annoying in your face pregnant woman! . I'm sure Purple would agree that we (and the rest of the women on this forum) very much value your support and input!

Don't mind me - I'm just quietly cracking up in the usual 2ww manner. I'll be alright. I am indeed VERY much over all this IVF stuff. Whatever the outcome, I need a break! In the meantime I'm just looking forward to getting the test over and done with.

Blue good luck with your test tomorrow and sorry that you are really feeling the strain. I totally agree with you about Shellster, there's a lot of Shellsterlove on this board, and for good reason, and yes, if I was still trying I'd want you to stay on the thread with your multitude of good advice, research and sanity.

Shell do you have a date for your early scan?

Heli sorry to hear about your OHSS, but glad you have 5 good ones in the freezer so that when you have recovered, you'll be able to do an FET and still have some back ups. You have not let anyone down, IVF is hugely taxing and your body is loaded with artificial levels and combinations of hormones, and everyone reacts differently. Be kind to yourself, and remember it's far from over. Huge hugs.

Hello lovely ladies - we've been camping (in the rain) for a few days with no tech, so apologies for the radio silence.

Ha ha ha to annoying in-your-face-pregnant-woman! You know, I'm always really sad when the women that we've bonded with disappear when they get pregnant - probably for exactly that reason, that they feel a bit uncomfortable being here because some of us are still waiting for our bfps. And, no doubt, because of those discussions about annoying people who can get pregnant at the drop of a hat and have had two or three in the time that we've all been trying. And who go on to say insensitive things about our infertility....

...nobody who has been on this thread is going to be in that category. We've all got the scars, we understand the grief of infertility. Please do hang around - I need the happy endings to keep me going just as much as I need the support.

How are you doing, Blue? I'm really hoping that you get your happy ending too....are you still testing tomorrow?

Heli sorry to hear you've had to delay things, but frustrating as it is, it does sound like the right decision: you'd be kicking yourself if you had your best embryo(s) transferred, you were really poorly, and the cycle wasn't a success....it would be one of those dreadful "what-ifs" we're all tring to eliminate. And Sammy makes a very rational point about it being quite important that you make it too! The month will come round sooner than you realise.

Hello Blink, Pip and Newforest - glad you decided to join us - we're quite a nice bunch to cycle with.

Waiting - sounds like lots of great positive resolve to stand you in good stead for your next cycle.

SO. I got my meds today for the next cycle. I also got my results from Serum and it turns out that I do have hidden infections and a high bacterial load. Would have been good to find that out before spending thousands on IVF, but hey ho - better now than not at all. So - a month of antibiotics it is . I'm also trying to arrange testing for NK cells - for all the scepticism I've read/heard about it, I have also read good things about the intralipid treatment and my clinic will only prescribe this if there is a high level of NK Cells. This will be it for us - we are going to do one more "round" with DE, so a fresh cycle plus any frosties, and then we're definitely definitely definitely stopping. (I know I may have said something similar in the past, but I mean it this time).

So it's a bit more wait-and-see for me while I find out when I'm going to be cycling again.

Don't leave Shell - you've been an inspiration.

I'm still waiting for AF to appear so I can book my training at the clinic - any day now!

I hope things work out for you purplemeggie.

Tested this morning…. one pink line, not a hint of a second. It was an FRER so I’m pretty confident it would have picked up HCG if there was any to pick up at this stage.

I’m disappointed and sad. This is our last cycle with my eggs and really our last chance to have a baby that is biologically ours. It feels like a loss.

Thursday is my official test date so I’ll test again even though I know it’s a bust. Wow, I am thoroughly sick of all of this stuff! Sorry to be a Debbie downer but..seriously.

Oh Blue
I don't know your story but can imagine how you are feeling. I'm only on cycle one and already can't imagine how i'd deal with a failure.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it was just too early for you though. X

Hey blue sorry to hear that,but yes, it might just be too early - look at Shellster's experience. I still have my fx for you for Thursday, but really understand you've had enough now. IVF is sooooooo tough.

purple despite the prospect of extra drugs, it does sound positive....you time to prepare that uterus to make it as non-hostile and welcoming as possible

Oh Blue I'm so sorry. It's not over til it's over but yeah I know how heart wrenching that must be. Can you get some counselling from your clinic as to your natural grief and what your next steps might be?
Sending you a big virtual (hug).

Will update properly later, but just had my scan and one ovary is still enlarged with free fluid so they said no to FET next cycle. Now means we're looking at the end of September for drugs with transfer the 1st week of October ????
Feeling very teary now and have to go back to work.

Shellster you have to stay, it really wouldn't be the same on here without you and it would be great to hear how you are getting on.

Purple a month of antibiotics sounds pretty grim but hopefully 100% worth it.

Blue so sorry it was a BFN this morning, I also have my FX for Thursday.

Heli sorry to hear that your transfer was cancelled but 5 frosties is absolutely brilliant. Hopefully you are starting to feel a bit better now and can concentrate on getting ready for a FET.

Oh no Sammy how frustrating! Your clinic must be more cautious than mine, my transfer went ahead despite free fluid and two enlarged ovary's.

not doing a very good job at keeping up at the moment.

Just to add Sammy my transfer obviously ended in a BFN so although an extra month to wait is really upsetting it will be worth it if there is more chance of a BFP plus you will be cycling at the same time as me.

Yes I know, the rational part of my brain agrees completely, but 8 weeks until I even think about injections seems so far away. I'd got my head around waiting 4 weeks, but 8 just seems cruel. I need to just have a good cry, but trying not to do that until I get home.
The worst part is she said it's best not to risk natural pregnancy this cycle so we can't even try for a miracle yet.

Remind why your not cycling until September? Was it your choice? Xx

cat, I have a scan booked for 7 weeks which is 8th August.

Very interesting purple that you have hidden infections and high bacterial load. Gives a logical reason to why the embryos didn't work and hope that a change will 'fix' this for next time. I wonder what causes it since I assume it wasn't an issue when you conceived DS, and the subsequent early pregnancies that sadly didn't last?

Sammy, having had 11 IVF attempts, I have had many periods where I have had to wait to start IVF (but for different reasons) and it is just torturous. The well meaning but unhelpful people say 'don't stress' so I used to try and push it down, but Purple informed us that tears actually contain cortisol and release it from our body. So a good cry really does help and I hope you feel a bit better after it.

blue, I am just lost for words, feeling like I should find the perfect words to make things right, but they just don't seem to exist. I know I was dreading this last cycle knowing it was the last I could afford and fearing DS not knowing a sibling, but even then I can't imagine your pain because I am lucky to have one biological child already. You are just wanting to achieve that let alone a sibling and were definitely first in the queue. I can only imagine it's a whole new level of grief. It just isn't fair.

It must be so hard to be told not to try naturally this cycle Sammy. My consultant said it can take 6 weeks for the ovaries to go back to normal. Would it maybe be worth asking for a scan closer to ov time and see if things have changed. Make sure you treat yourself to something special this evening.

We thought about August for the FET but after going through the IVF and the disappointment of a BFN we thought it would be good physically and mentally to have an extra month to recover. Will give the old bank balance a bit longer to recover too. I ate pretty badly and drank far too much in the few weeks after our BFN so I feel like I have ruined our chances of a post IVF miracle.

Sorry for your BFN this morning Blue. I'm guessing you're not in a very optimistic place right now, but I'll be keeping my fingers crossed that Thursday brings something different for you.

Really, really gutted for you Blue, as Shell says there are no words to express how you must be feeling. As some others have said maybe all hope is not lost until you test again Thursday? At least then you can know for sure whether to draw a line under it all at this stage and move on to the next stage. It really is shit!

Sorry I've been absent for a bit. Currently 8dp5dt, OTD is Monday so have been frantically trying to distract myself and keep some level of sanity in 2ww. I felt fairly positive first week but now I'm on countdown and know AF is due in next few days it's driving me crazy. I just want to know one way or the other and can't be doing with the wait. I don't think we've been successful but I think I'm preparing myself for the disappointment. DH is more optimistic about it all. If AF hasn't arrived by Sunday I'll test then. Really feels it's about to begin anytime now. Soooooo frustrating! I really admire all of you who have done more than one cycle.

Waves to everyone plus the newbies too!

Thanks Shell, have had a good cry, and feel a bit better.
Think DH is more upset than he is letting on, he's v. quiet.

Trixie - I could ask them to scan me, but they were pretty fully booked the week it should work out as in August anyway...so I think it would be worse to know that physically I could have it done, but they didn't have room for me. I'm going to email them just to double check about the trying naturally part... am not sure if she meant 'don't bother because you probably wont ovulate normally anyway' or 'don't risk getting pregnant, its dangerous'.
If my cycle had to be delayed then I'm glad I will be cycling with you :) Xx

Blue - sending you a hug and spiritual chocolate fudge cake, lovely girl. Also a large gin. So, so sorry to hear this. Not sure if I should even offer hope for OTD - although it changed everything for Shellster - because if you're anything like me you need to accept this in easy stages and getting your hopes up feels like tempting fate. PM me if you want to talk about DE...x

Shellster - interesting indeed - could in fact be the reason for the early miscarriages as I remember Lucie saying that they told her that a pregnancy would be unlikely to survive with some infections.

Sending some good thoughts your way too Sammy - it's always frustrating when you have to wait, but it does sound as if it's sensible advice. Can you find something uplifting to do for your enforced wait, like some yoga or swimming, or whatever makes you feel happy and good about yourself?

and you Trixie - frustrating times, huh? But we have all fallen off the wagon after a negative cycle. Sometimes you need to take care of your head as well as your body. And sometimes the wine helps!

Things are aligning themselves. NKC testing seems to be VERY expensive in the UK and given its ropy reputation, I really didn't want to spend a huge amount on it. Also, many clinics don't do diagnostic testing for non-patients.

But. We're on holiday next week, and the clinic closest to where we're going does the testing for £350 (still substantial, but this is our last last go, so we're prepared to do this) and can fit me in on Monday.

Hello there, sorry haven't posted for a while!

Shell, massive congrats to you. Hope everything is going well. I'm on the quinoa and protein shakes as we speak!

Blue, sorry to hear about your bfn, hope you are ok.

Sammy, nice to see you on this thread. So sorry you have to wait another month for your transfer. I really hate all the waiting that comes with this process. It's so frustrating but try and keep busy and time will pass.

Purple, glad you got your results from serum. It's sounds like you had similar to be. We have completed our antibiotics now without any problems. Will be interesting to see if it makes any difference for you next time.

I'm just waiting for af to arrive so I can begin my next cycle. It was due either today or tomorrow but no sign so far and I just don't feel like it's coming either. It's so annoying as its never normally late and I've already booked a week off work in the next couple of weeks ready for everything. Hope it shows up soon. Also I rang the NHS again today to check where I was on the waiting list as I had heard of others getting appts recently. From what they told me last time I rung I was looking at 2017 to start treatment but they told me today that they are starting to clear the backlog and I should be offered an appt in January if not earlier and treatment not too long after that which is brilliant news! At least it's a little back up plan if the next one or two cycles don't work. We are entitled to two free tries which will be a big help!

That's great Lucie - hopefully you won't need it, but "free" Plans B and C must surely take some of the pressure off, which has to be a good thing. Hope AF shows up soon!