Anyone starting IVF soon? Join me (3)

[purplemeggie]

Ha! I was just about to post the last message in the old thread linking to this, but I'm too late, we've already filled it up! I'll do the same as last time and send PMs to everyone who's been on the thread recently, but everyone's welcome

No, Shellster - I'll organise a lining scan in the UK around day 10 of my cycle and then it will just be a fleeting visit to Prague - 24 hours in and out! And just me, this time - Mr Purple will be staying at home with DS.

Oops - pressed "post" too early - wanted to say Good Luck Blue and LittleBlueFrostie x

Good luck today Blue

Also congrats BlackandWhite! Meant to say that earlier, but was all over the place this weekend keeping busy.

I've not been posting much lately, mainly as there's not much to say. Still downregging; my withdrawal bleed started yestreday, so I was a bit crampy, but that's all settled today, so it's just normal period fun(!) down regging scan isn't until Monday, so I'm just pottering through until then.

Our embryo didn't survive the thaw - we're gutted. Embryologist kindly pointed out on the phone that '90% make it so this is very unusual'. Just don't know what we're going to do next. Why is this so hard?

Blue - so so sorry xxx

Thanks Purple. Our lovely consultant called straight away and explained that this 'defrost failure' has nothing to do with the quality of the embryo, it's just sheer bad luck. Ours was the 1 in 10 that didn't make it. Doesn't make things any easier....I feel like I've had a black bad luck cloud hanging over me for the last 12 months. We have a meeting on Monday to decide what to do next. I'm so over it all really.

You have had a truly rotten time. I don't know what to say....apart from that I know how you feel and how gutting it is to have your hopes dashed time after time. I also know what you mean about being over it...after last time, I really didn't want to psyche myself up again only for another kick in the teeth.

xxx

I'm so sorry Blue

Look after yourself - you've got a good few days before you have to start thinking about the 'what next' aspect. Take some time out for you if you can.

Blue it's great that the consultant came back to you asap with an explanation. I imagine it's hard to take anything positive from the consultant's explanation given your frosties didn't survive as that is just devastating, but on the plus-side you are producing good quality embryos if you do decide upon another cycle. My remaining two blastocysts didn't even make it to the freezer on day 6 - I was informed the morning after ET, and all the implications of starting IVF again and all the financial stress if my cycle failed, was just so overwhelming. Having FET as an option must be such a bonus, but at the same time, it engenders another lot of anxiety as to whether the embryos will thaw etc.

shellster I've read lots of positive things about the scratch and if I didn't have it and my next cycle fails, i will also wonder 'what if'? Can I ask, is it normal to be prescribed antibiotics after the scratch?

This whole diet thing is intriguing. I'm veggie and have a really healthy and balanced diet (except dark choc habit, now under control for IVF). I don't drink/eat any dairy as I hate the bloody stuff and it's also loaded in estrogen and antibiotics etc and is also crap for one's health. Instead, I consume lots of unsweetened soya milk, soya yoghurts, tofu, oat milk, nuts and pulses etc. I have increased my protein intake for the IVF cycles though. In essence, I'm doing exactly the same as I did last time I conceived naturally and had a DC.

Must say, so wish I was in a position to try and conceive naturally after my failed IVF cycle. But being sodding single, no chance of that :(.

Choc - yes, twice that I've had a scratch, I've had antibiotics and a pre-emptive painkiller prescribed to take on the morning. Last time, I didn't have anything beforehand (and it was no more painful, so I think that's a bit of a red herring).

We had a long discussion on one of the earlier threads about isoflavones in soy and how they mimic oestrogen, so some people are advised not to drink soya milk.

Sorry you're having a tough time of it .

blue so sorry to hear about the defrost . Hope you can take some time, be nice to yourself.

Hello karou and thanks! Down regging seems so dull, doesn't it? But then things start to happen so quickly after.

darkchoc I though dark choc was good for you? That's what I always tell myself anyway

Big wave to everyone...

How are you, Cat? Have you had your blood test yet?

Hi Purple. I don't get a blood test. They gave me a urine test kit which I did this morning. Very very faint line right at the end of the 3 minutes, so did a tesco POAS straight after - v faint line too.

Have tried not to worry about the line being fainter than a few days ago - Sunday's was FRER so I guess this test must just be less sensitive?

Clinic said to retest on Friday. Am now out of POAS - shopping tomorrow! Scan booked 26th. Fingers crossed.

Almost certain to be different sensitivity tests x

blue, the second I read your post saying your embryo didn't survive, my reaction was 'oh f#@$'. Trying to think of something better to say now but there is just nothing to fix this crap, so I can only repeat... f@#&! Might just be bad luck that the embryo didn't survive, but doesn't help get you any closer to being pregnant. Let us know how you get on Monday. I gather the Dr will be suggesting you try one more time, since he casually mentioned this to you last time after seeing an improvement in your egg numbers. And your last day 2 scan did give your highest count yet. But whether you have the emotional energy is another question.

Darkchoc, I was not prescribed antibiotics after my scratch. But I am in Australia and I think perhaps my scratch procedure might be slightly different, after reading someone elses description on here, so perhaps that's the reason purple was given antibiotics and I wasn't. You sound very very healthy. I totally agree with you on the dairy front. I too used to have soy as an alternative but since I have read controversial things on soy and fertility, I decided to switch to almond milk. I too am veggie. I read the studies showing 80% IVF success when diet contains >25% protein and < 40% carbs and could not meet this requirement with veggie protein. So after another failed IVF, I included fish in my daily diet-the things we do for a baby!

Black - I assume you are aware that the first urine of the morning has the highest concentration of hCG. Could that be a reason for the fainter line? Also makes sense that different tests would produce different results. Not sure how your system works over there - can you get a blood test so you can know if your hCG levels are normal for your stage? Such a long wait til the 26th!

Hi shell, yes each one has been fmu. Finally got a strong line this morning with CB so promise stop obsessing about it now.

(Waves to everyone).

Good news, Cat....I remember doing exactly that when I got pregnant with ds...you hope for something so much you can't believe it might happen to you. Wishing you a lovely, relaxed, happy pregnancy x

Ditto for me purple. I think I did about a dozen pregnancy tests over the new few days after my first pregnancy. I think it's normal to stress black. My clinic does a blood test, and I'm sure I'll be at my local Dr just days later to get a second one and ensure the numbers are heading in the right direction.

I got a positive OPK last night... CD13. So I did the deed with hubby this morning in a last ditch attempt to try naturally before I have to endure IVF next cycle. 99.99% sure it won't work at 100% abnormal sperm means 0 pregnancy, but if there's in an egg being released, seems a waste not to try.

Shellster f&*k indeed. It feels worse than a BFN to be honest... we didn't even get a chance to try. I feel really down about it. Not sure what we're going to do, I've really run out of energy. I know the doctor wants us to try again but I'm wondering if we'd be better off investing our time and money into something with better odds, ie, donor eggs.

Ideally i would love a biological baby of my own of course, though. That's the one thing that is holding me back, although I'm sure I wouldn't feel any differently about a donor egg baby.

Anyway let's see what he says on Monday. I'd like to get my AMH checked again before we make any decisions. Thanks for all the kind wishes everyone.

Oh and Shellster I am a big fan of the 'hopeful monthly shag'

I was thinking about you yesterday Blue and the unfairness of the odds - and remembering a friend bring told by a nurse 'the trouble with 1 in 10 odds is that it makes you feel safe, but somebody's still got to be the 1'.

Do you know anyone in RL who had a donor egg baby? I talked to a couple of people when we were making our decision whom I knew had had IVF but didn't realise they'd used DE - or in one case donor sperm. It helped to hear confirmation that it felt like it was their baby.

It wasn't a difficult decision for me - we'd thought hard about adoption so I'd already let go of the need for a genetic link , but I know it's not so straightforward for a lot of people. pm me if you'd like to talk. Thinking of you .

Blue - I've done a little bit of research into people using donor eggs, mainly because I'm donating my eggs and I wanted to get my head round it all. It sounds a little bit twee, but I read something somewhere that even though it's not the mother's egg being used, the mother's body does so much work in growing and feeding the foetus, that the baby is biologically a product of the mother as much as (if not more than) the egg donor. Also, I know my clinic engineer it so the person getting my eggs won't ever be in the same place as me at the same time - so we're barely real people to one another. I'll most likely be making too many eggs as it is, so I'll hardly notice a few missing!

Dunno if it helps, hearing from the 'other side' of the egg doning, and I've not yet actually donated - have to get through d/r and stimms first, but I won't be changing my mind.

The hardest thing from my side is the knowledge that there is a possibility that my cycle might fail, but the woman/couple receiving my eggs might succeed. It's not something I dwell on, as there's nothing I can do about it if that does happen, and I won't know until at least a year has passed, but it's a strange thought that pops up every now and then.

It's just so tough emotionally blue. I understand from an objective Dr perspective that you are making above average number of embryos get to day 5 to try with, so locally it makes sense to try with your eggs while this is happening. But from an emotional perspective, it's another whole ball game. This is where I really think IVF shouldn't be such a money grab, and they should make IVF affordable and include genetic testing in the price. This way, you would know if it truly is your embryos at fault, or if it's an implantation issue and that donor eggs will result in the same outcome. Will wait to hear how you get on Monday and how you feel after that appointment.

Day 15 for me today. I got a positive OPK late day 13. So I assume I'm ovulating today and will try with hubby again tonight. Just to feel like I'm doing something practical to fill in the time really - I have 0 hope of it working. Then it's count down to day 20 when I start the estrogen for IVF. But that's no biggie - just down a tablet morning and night. The real wait is for my day 2 scan to see if I have enough to proceed.

Waves to purple. I really can't think of anything else to say to you other than hello. You are just so calm and collected and not ranting or raving about your cycle that needs replying to!

What's everyone's thoughts on immune testing? Has anybody had it done? I know some clinics believe in it and others don't. I think I definitely want the hysteroscopy and HSG before my next treatment but have also heard a lot of people mention immunes as well but don't know a lot about it. I'm just trying to work out what it was that caused two fairly decent blasts to fail to implant. Was it just unlucky and the blasts weren't viable and maybe they will be next time or is there some sort of implantation issue and if so what is the best way to find out what it is!

Hi all. Purple thanks for offering to help with my donor egg questions.... I certainly will PM you if we decide to go down that path. We're almost certainly going to go to Czech Republic if we do opt for DE. I've already looked at a couple of clinic options and I've decided to make a spreadsheet of costs, success rates, waiting lists and stats for each one (and include UK info as a comparison). I'm sure I'll have questions so I'll certainly get in touch. Thanks!

Shellster you are quite right about costs. We can't afford genetic testing but it would be wonderful to know what is going on. I'm pretty sure it's related to my eggs, not an implantation issue. If we do decide to have another go with my eggs I definitely want to know my current AMH. The doctor also mentioned another hysteroscopy which seems a bit bonkers (my third in 12 months?!) so I'll ask him about that tomorrow. I know I've got fibroids but I'm assuming they are still on the outside so therefore don't matter. Oh well...the hysterectomy would be on the NHS and therefore free so I guess it's OK, I'm just not keen on the additional anaesthetic.

Karou are you doing egg sharing? That's good of you. Are you based in London? There are a couple of clinics here who offer that. It's still rather expensive from a recipient point of view unfortunately, although the waiting lists are shorter than for an exclusive donor.

Lucie there is a lot of conflicting info about immune testing. There really isn't much medical evidence supporting it which is why my clinic doesn't offer it. Prof Robert Winston, IVF guru and my favourite fertility dude also thinks it's a load of rubbish www.genesisresearchtrust.com/page/askrobertwinston. That said there are some basic treats that you can get done quite cheaply (a DNA fragmenting one and the thrombolising one), plus your doc may be able to prescribe prednisone for your peace of mind if you really want it. If you start a new thread about this you'll probably get lots of input. Just don't spend ££££ before you've got ask the info! Unfortunately a large number of cycles fail and your failure is probably related to egg aneuploidy, which is very common and just bad luck. I can't remember how old you are but obviously the likelihood of this happening increases as you get older...hence why I'm on my 4th go. The first cycle is often (unfairly) referred to as 'practice go', which isn't great I know.