secondary infertility

[mumtosammy]

i have been trying for a second baby for 2 years with no luck (it took 12 months with DS - he's now 3.8). i've just been referred by my dr to an infertility clinic, as he thinks i'm probably not ovulating (tests have not shown anything else up). anyone else out there had an experience of this? think the next steps will be a hycosy and then clomid, any tips or advice on what to ask at the appointment much appreciated!
anyone else out there struggling with the thought of a growing age gap and sadness that their DS might not have another sibling? also feeling that we're getting further and further away from the 'baby stage', it seems so long ago.
also the process of infertility appointments seems so long! we've already been in the system months having the gp appointments and still not got the hospital date.
anyone else feel like this?

Hi henrycoco - welcome to the group. Sorry to read you've been TTC for so long, I'm similar had first DV aged 35 just days off being 36 and now 39 and not a sniff of DC2.

Hope it goes well on Thursday for you.

Good luck today sheddie xx

Thanks laptop, sorry to hear you've been struggling too - sometimes I feel like I'm losing out on enjoying what I already have because I'm forever yearning after something that might never happen.

Did you get a price for a private HSG? I'm not sure whether I'm barking up the wrong tree asking my GP for one? Were you refused?

Hi and welcome henrycocoa. We've been trying for no 2 for about 21 months. We started investigations last August. Blood tests, sperm test, HSG - all on the NHS. Everything came back normal. We were put on Clomid for 6 months (I stuck it out for 5 months) with no luck. I then just decided as my age was against us (37) to start down the private IVF route. I had my embryo put back in today! Now the nervous wait starts!
I must admit I feel much better about everything since we started IVF as I feel like something is happening. Even if we're not successful I will know we tried everything.
I would definitely push for an HSG from your GP.

Wow, shreddie, how will you get through the next 2 weeks?! I'll have everything crossed for you.

The way I see it, there are 2 problems with me:

1. I already have 2DC, so I am at the bottom of the pile where fertility funds are concerned (understandably).

And 2. DH hasn't had a semen analysis. He has an anxiety about all things medical and the last time I broached the subject we ended up taking a 3 month break from TTC . TBH, I think he would struggle to produce a sample because of the pressure. So, I think if I push for an HSG, the doctor will refuse on the basis that we haven't ruled out male factor yet.

DH is terrified of all things pregnancy/birth related. He has an irrational fear that I will die, or that there will be something wrong with the baby. He genuinely adores children and babies, and has said previously that if babies were just handed over (or perhaps dropped off by storks!) instead of all this conception/pregnancy/childbirth stress then he'd have at least 4.

Obviously the fact that we got pregnant first cycle with DD1, third cycle with DD2 and first cycle with the baby we lost didn't allow him time to overthink. However, not being able to get pregnant for so long has meant he has had the time to worry and stress about things. bloody DH

Yes I think it's going to be a difficult 2 weeks henrycocoa!
That's a really difficult situation you've got with your DH. I can understand why you would be frustrated about it. Does he definitely want another child?
If he does then I guess you would need to be quite tough about him playing his part. It is usually possible to do a semen sample at home as long as you can get it to the hospital quite quickly.
You're right though, they'll probably only take your investigations so far until he has been checked too.
The anxiety must be really horrible for him. I hope you manage to persuade him to do his bit.

Well, the GP appointment went better than expected!

I was in a particularly bad state and due to a major meltdown 10 minutes before the appointment, DH actually came with me.

(which was a good job as the GP was running an hour late (!), so I would've been a gibbering wreck had I been by myself...)

DH said he is fine with a SA, and didn't realise that it was so important . This is quite obviously bollocks, but I don't care! He has even made an appointment to drop off a sample - the next available appointment was the 3rd of June, which is a bit of a shock!

It was a risk getting DH involved with the medical side because I did think he would have a bit of a wobble, but the GP was lovely, and he coped admirably. He obviously has a selective memory regarding the last discussion we had about providing a sample

And I have a telephone appointment lined up with the GP on June 5th to discuss results (although I don't think she realised that the SA appointment would be so far ahead) and potentially refer me for an HSG

I am so relieved. I can't believe it.

The GP didn't mention clomid, but I am pretty sure I am regularly ovulating any way.

She did (eventually) ask my age and said that our lack of success was probably due to just a general decrease in fertility due to age (although the fact that I got pregnant 3 times in 5 cycles of TTC (30-35), and have had 0 pregnancies in 18 cycles (35-38) seems like a pretty steep fertility drop off!).

So, just relax, was the other advice. Easier said than done, I muttered darkly.

Glad to hear that the GP visit went well henrycocoa, and that your DH has come round to the idea!
I think my problem is probably age related too. Certainly nothing showed up on any tests. I hate the 'just relax' advice! That's always my Mum's favourite line. Makes me want to scream!

Yes, you'd think a GP would know better than the relax nonsense.

However I am booked in for acupuncture the week after next so hopefully that will relax me (although I can think of better ways of relaxation that do not include sharp implements!).

Room for another small one?

Ttc #2 for 18 months. Had a lap, dye, hysteroscopy endo removal and adhesion removal in dec

Just tried soy last month as am saving up to go back to the consultant in the summer

Going to read back now

Hi pikz

Sorry you find yourself here. Was your previous treatment on the NHS?

I tried soy at the beginning of this year for three months. I was a bit wary as I'm pretty sure I ovulate every month (usually CD14 or 15) and my cycles are regular. The first month I ovulated normally, the second month on CD13 and the third month on Cd17. Both within the realms of normal for me.

Good luck Sheddie, hope it all goes well and you're doing ok with the wait. Hi Pikz and Henry Cocoa, sorry to hear about your difficulties.
Sadly it looks like my pregnancy hasnt worked out. I had a private scan and it showed up problems, went to hospital yesterday for NHS scan and they confirmed things werent right.
Already looking ahead and hoping I'm still under the care of the consultant and not been discharged back to GP so i dont have to wait again.... want to get back on clomid as soon as i can.
good luck to everyone. x

Oh mumtosammy I'm so sorry to hear that. I can't imagine how upsetting that must have been for you. I hope you're ok. I'm sure they would put you back on Clomid again - at least you know it can work for you.

I have to admit this is the 2WW from hell. I don't feel very hopeful. I just don't feel remotely like I could be pregnant. 4 more days until I find out for sure.
Welcome pikz….have you stopped the soy now?
How are you doing with your 2ww laptop?

((((Hugs)))) mummy2sammy. I feel your pain and wish I could take it away. Xxxxxxx

Welcome ladies - hope this thread brings you and the rest of us graduation passes soon. Xx

Shreddie. Feeling similar to you. Only thing I have is my tummy feels weird if I lay on from front - kind of bloated. So I think AF is on route. ??

Going to book for a private HSG X-ray of that's the case.

Oh mumtosammy I'm so sorry to hear that, I can't imagine how you're feeling right now. I hope you have support and people taking good care of you.

Hi cocoa and pike, sorry you're going through this too. Let's hope everyone's stay on this board is short.

Hang in there Sheddie & Laptop, it really is the longest 2 weeks ever! I think it's impossible to know what you're feeling, I've never felt so out of touch with my body as I have during ivf. I think all the drugs knock our bodies for six. Good luck

Hi Juggling - hope your doing well. Xxxx

AF appeared so time to take this forward and book some testing privately. Any advice on what happens privately would be appreciated. I'd like to have an HSG and that's it for now. As prior to DS that worked for me. X

Sorry to hear AF arrived Laptop. I don't know much about private tests I'm afraid, only the actual IVF procedure. All I do know is that as soon as went to the private clinic things started to move very quickly!

Well I am shocked to say that I got my BFP this morning. I can't believe it. I was convinced a few days ago that it hadn't worked because I did an early test and it was negative. Just goes to show that you should wait! Obviously we still have a very long way to go, but for now I'm happy.

Hope all is going well for you juggling.

So sorry mumtosammy. Be kind to yourself

laptop, sorry AF has appeared. I am hoping for a referral for an HSG from the GP when I speak to her on Friday. Have you asked your doctor? I think ringing your nearest private hospital and asking whether they do them would be the way forward. I should imagine, if they are available, you will be able to get it done within a few days. I think they are around £300-£500.

Aaaargh sheddie!!!. Eeeeek!! Congratulations!

Sheddie! That's fantastic news, really pleased for you and fingers crossed the next few months are kind to you. ??????

I'm off for my first acupuncture session tomorrow. A bit nervous! Will report back...

Right, I am back! Feeling relaxed (I think).

We went through my history - the pregnancies/births of the DDs and the MMC. We talked about diet ,(not enough protein or iron), menstrual cycle, health, digestion, sleep. I had a little bit of a weep (not about the miscarriage or infertility, but about DDs health issues). Then she checked my temperature (lay her hand on my torso), my tongue and measured my acupressure pulses (?). She then inserted needles all the way down the vertebrae on my back. Then one just under my belly button, and a few in each wrist, along with a burning herb called moxa. It was all very intriguing and towards the end, very relaxing

Apparently my qi was extremely sluggish, but improved dramatically with the treatment.

Hi Ladies - I was on this thread a bit in the early days, but not been around for a bit - so sorry to read about your ups and downs, MummytoSammy - it's a cruel twist when you've gone through so much to get this far.

and lovely news from you, Sheddie - and gives me hope, too. I got a bfn yesterday after a second DE cycle in Prague. Gutted, but my official test date isn't til Friday, so there's a little hope that I might get a nice surprise.

Sorry to see so many people in this miserable place (infertility, not this thread!) - it's heartbreaking...

Hi purple, and thank you. I have kind of kept up with what you have been doing because I was lurking on some of the IVF threads when I was going through my treatment. I know how important this round is for you. Definitely don't give up hope. I was completely convinced it hadn't worked when I got my negative test at 8dp5dt. I really wished I had waited a few more days because I wouldn't have gone through so much anguish. I have to say for me the wait after ET was by far the worst part of the whole process - complete torment. I feel for you, and will be sending every positive thought your way.

henrycocoa, that all sounds very intriguing! I have heard good things about acupuncture and if it's nice and relaxing then what harm can it do?!

Ooops sorry I disappeared when AF hit for a while to re group.

Henry no all my previous has been through my work Bupa as the consultant got it all through as gynae to help me out. I actually paid to go to the consultant this weekend. He did scan me and confirmed he can see no regrowth and I am definitely ovulating so I now fall into unexplained and he thinks It should happen within the next six months. We shall see!

Mumtosammy I am so so sorry to hear your news :(

laptop I have had a lot done privately if you want any questions answering.

Shreddie that is just amazing news!!

Henry the acu sounds lovely. I have some reflexology and I always feel it relaxes me if nothing else

Purple Meggie hope it ends positively for you

Keep on juggling...hope the IVF is going well

Pikz, the fact the consultant thinks you will get pregnant within the next few months is encouraging, is it not?

I have my second acupuncture this evening - looking forward to it!

Also, DH's SA came back as normal, and I am being referred for an HSG. Hurray! I feel remarkably chipper, even given the time of the month (14DPO, or maybe 11DPO).