Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Infertility

Our Infertility Support forum is a space to connect with others in the same position, discuss causes, treatment and IVF, and share infertility stories of hope and success.

Original poster

Infertility meltdown

999 replies

HappyAmbler · 02/01/2014 00:06

Hello ladies

I'm a long time lurker and very occasional poster.

This is really just a rant as I'm feeling so utterly shit this evening - hence the title (was crying when I started writing this Sad). My DH is asleep upstairs as he has to work tomorrow.

This is my third cycle of clomid and AF has just arrived. We have been ttc #1 for 19 months although in that time I've had 22 cycles.

I'm just feeling totally lost as I was only prescribed three months of clomid, and my next appointment at the NHS fertility clinic isn't until mid Feb - so I'm basically going to have two wasted cycles in between.

We still don't really know what the problem is. DH and I are both 31, his SA was normal, my blood tests and ultrasound were normal, my cycles are pretty regular and I'm fairly certain I ovulate every month (temp rise). The only possible factor is my post ovulation (day 21) progesterone levels are 'borderline'. i.e. they indicate ovulation has occurred but not high enough to sustain pregnancy.

I really thought the clomid would 'fix' this seemingly minor problem. And it has in the sense that my post ovulation progesterone levels have been higher, and my luteal phase has been longer, but I'm still not bloody well up the duff Sad

Apparently the next step is HSG - feeling stupid for not insisting this was done before I started the clomid, but I was so convinced the clomid would work...

I guess I'm just starting to panic now. If we don't know what the problem is, how the hell can it be fixed??

Thanks very much if you've got this far. I'm not sure why I'm posting, just needed to get this off my chest I guess. I don't know anyone in RL who's going through this, so it's just helpful to know there are others out there.

OP posts:
loopylou1984 · 19/04/2015 10:15

Thanks Victoria. Our consultant is quite abrupt (he told me off for crying last time) and I don't really like him much Hmm
Yes hsg will be next, I've already had a letter saying that, so that'll be next cycle. I think I can get away with saying we're on month 20, so taking hsg that'll only be 3 more months until the 2 year mark. It's 2 years here, I've checked.

Dh is taking well man conception (roughly eod as he finds they upset his stomach), and has a berocca every day which has 1000mg of vit C so he's getting that (for about 3 months now) and he has 3 Brazil nuts every day. Xx

chopsface · 19/04/2015 14:16

It all sounds promising then Sammy. My consultant was a complete cow too. Its a wonder why they went into this field of medicine if they don't have sympathy for the couples involved. I bet oncologists don't tell people off for crying at their cancer appointments!

loopylou1984 · 19/04/2015 14:25

Well summed up chops! They def should be more understanding, or move to a different field of medicine! X

Shellster52 · 19/04/2015 22:11

sammy, after nearly 2 years of trying, the only thing I'd be wanting to know and be forcing forward is getting to the actual treatment for infertility (ie. if you are wanting IUI or IVF) rather than just the tests! How soon after the HSG is your follow up appointment and what will be the next step at that appointment - will they then arrange IVF? That's what I'd want to know.

And what's with all these horrible people in the fertility field?! We don't have NHS funding here in Australia so I have to pay. I have found a Dr I love after leaving two horrible ones and I was so happy I kept changing. But then it turns out she is assigned a specific nurse at the clinic who deals with all her patients during the IVF cycle, and the nurse is a complete cow! I just can't win.

loopylou1984 · 20/04/2015 07:24

Yes shell, good point!
I need to write a list I think! Xx

victoria401 · 20/04/2015 21:28

Sorry for the confusion, appear to have posted a few times under chopsface

RubySlippers77 · 20/04/2015 22:13

Sorry your consultant was horrible sammy. We had a few that were impatient but none that were downright abrupt; the fertility clinic always ran way behind and I could understand them being tired and fed up, but that's not our fault, clearly they booked too many people in for the time available. Could you talk to the patient liaison dept and see if they can intervene on your behalf?

My OH was on super vitamins plus vitamin C & zinc tablets for a while, they improved his 'normal' sperm count from 2% to 3% but I think there's a limit to the miracles the tablets can work, his swimmers are rubbish!!

loopylou1984 · 20/04/2015 22:22

I'll give him another chance Ruby, perhaps I was feeling overly sensitive last appointment. I think we'll be under the care of the fertility clinic instead soon anyway. Xx

Shellster52 · 20/04/2015 22:54

At least you can reassure yourself sammy that you won't have to deal with him much longer then.

Ruby, i agree about the supplements. I had my DH on a specific sperm supplement, vitamin C, ZoQ10 and zinc. It improved his count and motility, but the normal morphology remained stuck at 0%. He eats junk day in day out and I think a big lifestyle change is needed to improve things - but that's like banging my head against a wall.

He has a bad cold now with less than 7 weeks to my EC and his IVF contribution. He probably wants empathy but I just feel frustrated that his crap eating has sabotaged my baby dream and now it means he's caught cold and is sabotaging my last IVF I can afford. Grr. Men.

RubySlippers77 · 21/04/2015 21:40

Isn't it strange how men can refuse to acknowledge these things could have a cause and therefore something can be done about it!! My OH didn't mind taking the vitamins but wouldn't cut down on his drinking and (occasional) smoking; I think his opinion was that we were down for IVF anyway and hence what was the point of him trying anything?! Grrrrrr.

I hope your next appointment goes better sammy and that you get answers to your questions!!

Shellster52 · 22/04/2015 01:43

Yes, and they say men are the practical ones. But here we are being practical, researching the issue and organising appropriate supplements and me doing my special IVF diet. Meanwhile, our men do nothing practical at all and just frustrate us!

Still Ruby, it's very reassuring to hear that your OH continued to drink and even smoke on occasion. Mine doesn't drink or smoke but it reassures me that hopefully his bad eating won't ruin our chances since you still had success with twins and more embryos that made it to blast in the freezer.

loopylou1984 · 25/04/2015 07:42

Ooops lost the thread again!! Xx

RubySlippers77 · 26/04/2015 09:41

How are you sammy, how did your appointment go?

After all our talk about vitamins, I'm off to buy some super duper ones for myself today. I noticed mine don't include omega 3 and whilst I'm sure my mum would have no idea what that is, let alone ever taken any deliberately, I thought it was worth adding that on!

loopylou1984 · 26/04/2015 10:11

Hi Ruby

I've only had the dildocam so far, the follow up appointment is tomorrow actually. I'm scared he's just going to send us away again, although in reality it will at least be HSG as he's already put that in writing. Dh and I have the whole day off, so at least I don't have to go back to work after. Xx

loopylou1984 · 26/04/2015 10:12

Good shout on the Omega 3 too :). Xx

victoria401 · 26/04/2015 13:43

Good luck at tomorrow's appointment Sammy! You'll probably hopefully find things will speed up for you after the hsg treatment wise. Exciting times! Though I still have faith you will get a natural bfp like I did x

Hope you're OK shell ruby x

loopylou1984 · 26/04/2015 13:59

Thanks Victoria
You must have had the same thoughts as me 'after all this time it's not going to happen naturally' and you are now preggers so there's always a chance. Xx

victoria401 · 28/04/2015 20:21

Here's a story for you shell Someone on the ttc thread who got her bfp a few weeks ago popped on with some more news. They'd just started tests before the bfp and her dh's results had come back. They said morphology 0%!

loopylou1984 · 28/04/2015 21:43

I forgot to update you on my appointment, sorry!
Long story short ultrasound results were fine, so next step is HyCoSy for which there is a 3 months wait. Unless we pay for it privately. Either way it will mean iui or IVF in September/October. Xx

Shellster52 · 29/04/2015 01:54

That's an interesting story victoria. I used to have hope because we obviously somehow got our son before my husband got diagnosed with 0% morph. But after 4 years of hoping each cycle followed by a period, it's easier to be where I am now at of feeling like it won't happen naturally rather than continually be let down! We shall see what happens with this last IVF. Had a chat with my husband about eating healthy in the lead up so I don't feel forever resentful at his lack of effort (and more hopefully, so this last IVF works!). He agreed but I don't think he's put his words into action.

So a 3 month wait then sammy. That does sound like forever away but I guess if you are busy with work and other things, 12 weeks will soon pass (says me the hypocrite who can't wait for just 3 more weeks until my IVF starts!)

loopylou1984 · 02/05/2015 08:25

So it turns out it's a 4 month wait because the next available appointment that fits my cycle is 7th September. Dh and I have agreed to go privately so I'm going to call the clinic this morning to check that a) they can refer us back to the nhs afterwards, b) the cost and c) the wait times. It's really just A that we're worried about, I already know it's approx £450 and the wait time for private IVF is 0 weeks so I assume this will be the same. Eeek. Xx

RubySlippers77 · 03/05/2015 21:35

How did you get on sammy, will the clinic refer you back to the NHS afterwards?

I went through the same procedure but didn't have such a long wait for the next step - mind you at that point we didn't know OH had such rubbish swimmers, so waiting and trying naturally for a month or so wasn't such a big deal. What would be their costs/ waiting time for a private round of IUI, is that something you could try?

OH and I had a lovely holiday even though I had to be in bed by 10pm every night, can't cope otherwise! Not looking forward to going back to work on Tuesday Sad

loopylou1984 · 04/05/2015 08:31

Hi Ruby

I haven't spoken to them as the department I need wasn't open on sat. I left a message and am hoping for a call back tomorrow. Meanwhile I've been baby bombed by my sil which has made me all tearful so I'll probably breakdown when they do call back.

Private iui is almost £800. I'm not sure we could stretch to that... Plus I've heard the success rates aren't great? X

Shellster52 · 05/05/2015 23:47

So sounds like you're leaning towards waiting for the 7th Sep appointment then sammy? It's so difficult that our desire for a baby is tied to the size of our wallets. It's always my big gripe because I have two family members that can conceive for free but because they don't work, they just expect my taxes to raise their children for them. Meanwhile, I am working hard to save thousands for my IVF, but the more I work, the more tax the government takes to fund people like this! Not fair!

I totally understand about the SIL announcement upsetting you. This really just sucks. Victoria and Ruby both finally got their baby. We just have to focus on the fact that it's me and you next.

loopylou1984 · 07/05/2015 16:57

Hey

Well I had the HyCoSy privately today, it was the worst period type pain I've ever felt! Plus my blood pressure dropped hugely about 5 minutes after they finished and I thought I was going to pass out - which was really annoying as consultant was telling me really interesting things about embryoscopes and I never got to hear the end. They did give me a biscuit though.

Anyway apparently my tubes are fine and my ovaries are lovely! Lol. And I'm definitely going to ov from the right this month. He said I was text book. Which is great, but it puts us in the unexplained category.

Good news though is he confirmed nhs entitlement is 2 fresh plus 2 frozen rounds, AND we can have one private go while waiting and not lose the nhs tries!!

I asked if I could pay for the embryoscope for the nhs rounds but it was a no.

So now I just have to have the nhs appointment and decide with dh what the next steps are.

Consultant said sometimes people conceive right away after the HyCoSy but that as the due went in so easily it probably would make a difference to us. Xx