Assisted conception after recurrent miscarriage part 5

[Mel3062]

Hope this is right ladies ...

[Buzzybee123]

pebbles sorry to hear about the bleeding when is your scan booked for

mel It is hard to start again, big hugs

[Arianrhod]

pebbles Lots of luck for your scan, hopefully it's just the baby settling in, I know that can cause all kinds of pains and bleeding sometimes.

[BellyD]

Thinking of you Pebbles. Good luck for your scan x

[Pebbles73]

Just been to Epu and it is a miscarriage, not much left they can see so just leaving it it to finish naturally. Haven't even cried just completely numb to the whole thing. Not really sure what to to next as just don't know what else to try!

[suemays]

pebbles it has to be a chromosonal issue as its early on. Haven't you got quite a few frosties from the cycle that you could use? They do say it takes an average of 3 ivf cycles so don't give up. So sorry this has happened to you xxx

[Pebbles73]

Thanks Sue, we only have one frostie. This was out forth round if fresh ivf but if you include frozen ones to it was our sixth go. Two miscarriages, two chemicals and two negatives. It's v hard when you know you can't just try again and get orsgnancy naturally, this orsgnancy took two years after my last proper miscarriage.....

[Buzzybee123]

oh pebbles I am so sorry, big hugs x

[brownstag]

I'm so sorry, Pebbles. So awful, so dreadfully unfair and exhausting.

[Arianrhod]

Oh feck it pebbles, I'm so so sorry. What a bl**dy awful cr@ppy thing to happen. Huge hugs, we're here for shouting at. xx

[ChoccyPud]

pebbles I'm so sorry that's shite and so unfair. Hugs x

[suemays]

pebbles I wish I could say something and give you an answer. I am guessing you won't be able to have the embryo tested as you said most was gone. Would superov help you as its much cheaper than another ivf round? Like I said before, I still believe its a numbers game and its just trying to find the perfect egg. As we get older they get far and fewer between. I guess you have two options, either accept the fact that our eggs are older and this could happen again and go for donor eggs or keep trying with your own eggs. It's hard to know what to do and depends on your finances and strength to carry on.

[brownstag]

Although you said that you can't try again naturally; do you have other problems that mean IVF is a must?

[duggs1976]

Oh pebbles I really am devastated to read this. So i am hearing you re what to do next.

There are a couple of factors.
1- you don't get pg naturally - have you ever been pg naturally?
2- when did you start TTC how old we're you?
3 - are you sure there are no issues with DH ( has this been proven has he had sperm DNA test?)
4 - if DH ok then would assume the issue is either your eggs or your uterus?
5 - if your eggs then an egg donor seems like a good option from serum or the checz place for £5k like buzzy.
6 - if your eggs not an issue (I kind of think because you started trying so early in your early 30's I believe ?) then perhaps is a uterus issue.
7 - if uterus issue and immune treatment hasn't worked then obvious option is to try again. But if you can't get pg naturally then that kind of points to more than just nk cells and is expensive and traumatic to keep trying.... So....
8 - does that lead to a surrogate?

If you put your embryo back into a proven surrogate and it fails it does suggest the sperm or the egg are to blame. If money was endless I would try all 3 options as a process of elimination.

But where to draw the line.

I do think the nk cells lifeline can be cruel at times because maybe some of us have more issues.

I know you wont know and I am echoing the thoughts and feelings I've had these last 2 weeks.
I have started the adoption process as I am not sure if nk cells is only my issue. However, I would like to think I would try egg donor or surrogacy ... Probably the latter as I have had some good eggs proven after last ivf round last march.
Lots to think about and you will change your mind a thousand times over the coming weeks. If you would like to meet up at all let me know. Huge hugs. Get some wine and Lindt Dior chocolates and numb yourself for a few days honey I am so very sorry.

[Mel3062]

Pebbles I wish I could hug you I am so devestated for you. What a god damn crap werk!!! When will our luck change... Xx

[lemonsherbet]

Just wanted to say how sorry I am pebbles. There is nothing I can add that has not been said.

Mel sorry to hear about the chemical. I had one on Mr S plan. It was the month where I took a break from the pred

[Arianrhod]

pebbles I was just reading my usual Fertility Friends forum when I read one lady describing her IVF journey and she's had very similar to you. They had more testing done and it turns out her DH has a balanced translocation, which is what has been causing all her BFNs, chemicals and miscarriages. Obviously may not be your issue but I just wondered if your DH has been tested at all? Hugs to you, take care of yourself.

[Pebbles73]

Thanks for all your kind words ladies and will answer properly another time. Just have a quick question, I passed some products today for want if a better word and wondered if anyone had done that and kept it to get tested?? Sorry is bit of a grim question and not the nicest start to my 40th birthday weekend!!

[brownstag]

Yes, I did. I passed a rubbery grape-like lump several weeks after an ERPC and got it tested, although that was slightly different as they just wanted to check it was retained products and not something else. But you need to get it to them asap so I would ring EPU to ask what to do. Put it in a sterile pot and in the fridge for now I would say.

[Pebbles73]

Thanks Brown that's exactly what I have passed. Thanks for the info, did they manage to find anything out from it?

[brownstag]

They just confirmed it was retained products, chorionic something or other, I think they called it, so part of the placenta. There was no talk of having it tested for chromosomal abnormalities at this point as this was my first miscarriage. We had seen it dangling there on a scan and they weren't sure if it was a polyp or retained products; I'd had continuous bleeding ever since the ERPC (I had it done twice for the same miscarriage and there was still this thing left behind!) Very odd sensation as it came out; I'd had cramping and then 20 mins later it just slipped out! I remember taking it in a pot to my GP's but I can't remember whether I left it there or whether we had to take it to the EPU.

[BellyD]

Pebbles so very sorry to hear your news, and what cra**y timing to, on your birthday. I was so hopeful for you, as you had seen the heartbeat. Thinking of you xxx

Mel sorry for your chemical too, it sucks.

[duggs1976]

How are you feeling this morning pebbles? Are you going back to work this week? Were you taking hydroxy with this cycle pebbles ?? I'm thinking of you because I know how hard a miscarriage is but one after an IVF round seems that much more cruel as you've gone through so much to get so far. I have heard the government has launched first 4 adoption the new process which is in two parts. First part 2 mths to get understanding of process and assessed and second part 4 mths for training and complete approval process. Wish I didn't want to be a parent wish I could get a puppy and not want to know what it might feel like to ever give birth. If someone could just tell me it will never happen then at least I could move on with the adoption process.

[brownstag]

Duggs, big hugs. xx
Presumably you're not allowed to be trying to conceive if you go ahead and start the adoption process?

[duggs1976]

No officially not. TBH I shouldn't really be re starting it as so much is up in the air. I just wonder when to draw the line. How are you doing brown anyway?

[brownstag]

I have heard of so many people who do get pregnant once they start the adoption process and take their mind off it. With my friend's sister it genuinely was accidental as they really believed they were totally infertile. I'm fine, thanks. 5dpo and filled with that irrational hope once more that this month it might be THE month!