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What women want is an end to hectoring by feminists

156 replies

emkana · 14/03/2010 20:39

do you agree?

OP posts:
BelleDameSansMerci · 14/03/2010 20:43

No, I do not agree. I also don't see why we have to be lumped together as one amorphous lump of "women". Can't we all have different thoughts, opinions and wants?

And, for the record, I would consider myself a feminist.

cyteen · 14/03/2010 20:49

I would have thought equal pay and an end to sexual violence are higher up most women's lists - they certainly are on mine.

Didn't read the article by the way, as it looks like just another load of meaningless media bollocks.

BelleDameSansMerci · 14/03/2010 20:55

There are some good points in the article. The point that not all women want to work but most of us have to, for example, compared with the alleged feminist belief that all women want to work.

But, it is a load of media bollocks, IMO!

StayFrosty · 14/03/2010 20:56

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southeastastra · 14/03/2010 20:57

i would quite like to be hectored by a feminist

BecauseImWorthIt · 14/03/2010 21:05

"Apart from married middle-class women in full-time work, most women would prefer to look after their children and work only part-time if possible. Most women value home and family life above a career ? hardly surprisingly, since few women are offered careers and most must content themselves with jobs ? and, he argues, women with these domestic priorities feel increasingly that the femocracy of career women in power doesn?t speak for them"

I love the opening dismissal - 'apart from married middle class women in full time work ...'!

I can say with 100% certainty that I didn't want to be at home with my children. I found it tedious and it was not rewarding. I was not very good at it, and my nanny - who was trained in childcare - was infinitely superior at me in these arts.

I had, and still have, a career and it has always been important to me.

I'm lucky in that I have a partner who supports my right to this career and we have worked - together - to ensure that our children are loved, well cared for and that we can both work in careers that we find rewarding.

And why should that choice not be open to anyone?

Why should it feel that it's being forced on people?

That said, I am also of the view that if women want to be at home with their children - or, indeed, if men want this privilege - then we, as a civilised society, should be looking at ways that this choice can be available to all.

BecauseImWorthIt · 14/03/2010 21:06

Sorry, got carried away with my answer there!

I don't think I've ever felt hectored by feminists.

But I wish 'feminist' wasn't such a dirty word. You only have to read threads on here - a site mainly populated by women - to realise how devalued the word has become.

southeastastra · 14/03/2010 21:12

the one (out and out) feminist i met was so nasty about the fact that my dp is ten years older, really put me off

ButterPie · 14/03/2010 21:14

I often ask my friends if they are feminists. They almost invariably answer with horror that of course they aren't, they shave their legs, they have sex with men, they wear makeup, they want babies, they like wearing nice bras.

Then, I ask them if they like having the CHOICE to do these things, and they always answer yes. I ask them if they think men and women are equal (they usually point out men and women are different at this point, well, yeah they are, but are they just as good as each other and just as deserving of basic rights?) and they answer yes. I ask them if they think people, Male or female, should be able to at least have a chance to do whatever they like, they answer yes.

There are a lot of feminists out there

BelleDameSansMerci · 14/03/2010 21:19

Because - spot on. Thank you. Much better than I could have put it.

atlantis · 14/03/2010 21:21

The trouble with feminists like Ms Harman is that she's only a feminist when it suits her purpose, she had no qualms at all about shoving the all female candidates list out of the window to shoehorn her husband into a labour safe seat.

policywonk · 14/03/2010 21:31

'Hectoring' is one of those words that's only ever used to describe women (who express sentiments that differentiate them from doormats), isn't it?

Haven't read article. I know that sometimes on here, I've been told that SAHMing is an anti-feminist choice - but I'm big n' ugly enough to know that those people are talking utter crap.

The idea that society at large is subject to constant 'hectoring' from feminists is laughable. Most people in this country probably go months at a time without hearing a feminist perspective on anything.

LeninGrad · 14/03/2010 21:33

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southeastastra · 14/03/2010 21:34

i'm sorry someone had to link this

CMOTdibbler · 14/03/2010 21:38

One of my favourite quotes that Policywonk

I'm a feminist, and I'd never hector anyone about their work/childcare choices (but I'll hector Leningrad if she likes ).

BecauseImWorthIt · 14/03/2010 21:40

SEA

LeninGrad · 14/03/2010 21:41

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policywonk · 14/03/2010 21:46

I don't understand - is that a Smash alien or something?

CMOT - it's a corker isn't it

oldenglishspangles · 14/03/2010 21:53

sea - loved that show. However in the spirit of feminism it should have been called Zsazsa and Hectors house not Hectors House....

sprogger · 14/03/2010 21:59

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StayFrosty · 14/03/2010 22:31

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tethersend · 14/03/2010 22:38

Ironically, many women don't like feminism because men tend not to like feminism. It's baffling.

gaelicsheep · 14/03/2010 22:58

I take issue with this statement particularly: "Apart from married middle-class women in full-time work, most women would prefer to look after their children and work only part-time if possible".

I am a married middle-class woman in full time work and I would prefer to look after my children. Circumstances don't allow it unfortunately. Why would such an article, which purports to be combatting many sweeping assumptions, end up making one of the worst ones?

animula · 14/03/2010 23:30

Absurd, since it is a lot of feminist-identified women who have called for choice and flexibility re. the work/childcare dichotomy.

It has been a lot of feminist-identified women who have enriched the discourse around parenting/mothering/working.

Oddly enough, it wasn't lots and lots of non-feminist-identified men doing that.

Is there a word for a token woman who spouts anti-feminist nonsense? Kind of like a beard for the patriarchy? A miserable-merkin, perhaps?

animula · 14/03/2010 23:50

"The 'wimmin' are taking over -Run for your lives" by Animula Merkin

Watching my beautiful son playing happily in the garden with his nanny, I was struck forcibly by how wrong those feminists who call for a cull of male children are.

How can they be so unnatural?

Stuck in a 70s rut, they peddle this line. Surely it is only a small percentage of women who care only for their careers who believe this; working full-time, gadding about having manicures and living in infeasibly large, envy-provoking houses?

Indeed Dr. Anthony Half-Baked of the University of the No. 55 Bus Stop has just conducted research for Institute of Right-Wing Research revealing that the majority of mothers love their children - of BOTH sexes.

It's time we sstopped listening to this pernicious "wimmin's" nonsense.

And trust me - the Conservative's won't be introducing any legislation calling for a cull. But who knows about those dodgier parties that listen to the shrill, feminist harpies.

[Note to Ed. - I hope my fee for this is enough to pay the nanny and the mortgage - Animula M.]