Girl, 2, drowned in her buggy after father let go to kiss mistress

[mrshamiltiongiles]

here

what a bastard

Ponders - to err is human. All it takes is a distracted second. Most of us are lucky enough not to have terrible consequences when we make the odd mistake.

True, bb, but eg letting go of a child in a trolley in a supermarket car park is not the same, is it?

He took the kids out with the mistress
He let go of the pushchair to kiss the mistress
He didn't put the brake on first

Not one odd mistake, was it...

would it be negligence if he had kissed his wife or would that have been a tragic accident?

It's not the same because dd wasn't hit by a car but instead caught by a nice young man who returned her to me. Had we not been so lucky then it could well have been similar in the very worst respect. Either way my mum infallibility wasn't operational that day.

Nancy - that would be a tragic accident and this event that actually occurred is a tragic accident - but an accident that occurs on a family outing is one thing - and accident that occurs whilst you are so busy snogging your illicit lover that you don't see the danger present is quite another.

This father did a bad thing but it was not so bad that he deserved this to happen.

The idea that all mums are immune from making the kind of mistake that, in the wrong circumstances (and I'm not talking about marital infidelity), could lead to catastrophe is, frankly, laughable.

Btw, mrshamiltiongiles, if "it wasn't wind", what about this?

"As he turned to embrace her, he let go of the buggy and a gust of wind blew it over the promenade"

bit @ some of the comments on here.

When DS3 was a few weeks old I was stood on the pavement chatting to a neighbour, we lived on a hill, I let go off the pram (as I tend to talk with my hands) a few seconds later we realised that the pram was rolling down the hill - only thing that stopped it was a parked car.

It happens, thankfully to most of us without tragic circumstances.

From what I read it isn't a place that you would take a buggy in the first place. Irrespective of whether or not he was with his mistress. That aspect just makes it harder for the poor mother.

I did make a mistake like this. Bet I'm not the only one.

The taking your children on a date with your mistress is really horrible, yes.

The "Mistress" thing is very tabloid. We don't know anything about the circumstances, really, other than that it was a very tragic accident. And some people on here seem to be coming very close to implying he deserved it for being a less-than-perfect man.

Mshighwater - of course he didn't 'deserve' it - nobody 'deserves' this sort of thing - but he did place his children in a situation where something bad happened. Now - you can say that he wasn't to blame for that accident - but what I feel and what I suspect the mother of the children feels is that if he hadn't been having an AFFAIR they would never have been there and it wouldn't have happened. As a mother - I don't think I could ever interpret this as anything other than an accident that happened because my husband was unfaithful. I suspect I would find that unforgiveable and I don't say that lightly.

What some horrible posts there are on this thread.

A man has lost his child ffs. No I'll re-phrase - a father has lost his child, and yet people see fit to judge him because he was a man.

I can guarantee that if this has been the mother there would be cries of "we should not judge, a mother has lost her child," from the very same people who see fit to judge this man and his personal life, which frankly, is no-one else's business, and which the media have clearly only reported to sensationalize the tragic death of a two year old.

KerryMumbles, I get the impression that you are not being quite objective about this. Unless you know this family, you have nothing to base your judgement about what is "most likely" on, so why bother saying it?

I am not impressed by a man who would have an affair, still less with one who would take his small children to meet his other woman. BUT, more than that this man is a father whose whole life has fallen apart (I guess) because of his carelessness (but NOT because he was having an affair).

That is a terribly sad story .

What a sad, sad story. How awful for that whole family, especially the mother, having to deal with the death of her DD and the news of her husband's affair. It is also tragic for that man to have to live with the weight of responsibility for his daughter's death.

However I do not think that adding the mistress angle is as reprehensible as many people are saying here. Would you have been exactly as likely to read the story if the title had been 'Girl killed after buggy rolls into the sea'? It should be quite obvious that the paper has added the mistress element (fairly unjudgementally, I think - from a quick read through) in order to get more readers. Newspapers are written to be read, are they not? And the facts are that he did leave the buggy unsecured in order to kiss his mistress. If the article had left these facts out and they'd come to light later you'd all be complaining about inaccurate reporting.

No. Not in this case I can assure you MrsMerryHenry.

MrsSchmaltzyMerryHenry the facts at the moment are that the newspaper has said he let go of the buggy to kiss his mistress - this does not actually make it a fact, for newspapers are not above exagerating stories

Maybe I'm just a paranoid parent but whenever I've been pushing one of my kids' prams along a promenade, I have not EVER let go of the handle if there hasn't been a wall or something between the pram and the sea. It just goes against all your instincts, surely, to actually let go of your children when you are right next to the sea (when by all accounts it was high tide and so it wasn't like they were just going to drop onto sand, which would have been bad enough)

I'm not sure that men have those same instincts to be honest. My DH is an absolutely fantastic husband and father - really great. but there are a couple of times when I've had to shout his name to get him to grab DS2's pram slowly rolling away down a SLIGHT slope in the park when he's been in charge of the pram. I just hope that if he was in sole charge of a pram right next to the sea then he'd consider it vital he keeps hold of the pram.

If ALL men are a bit like that, then just add a bit of distraction to the mix in the shape of a mistress and it's asking for trouble.

It's a horrible story, feel so sad for everyone and just wish it wasn't true.

MollieO the picture here is somewhere I'd probably take my kids in their buggy (and on foot) if I were at the seaside

Is very sad

Wannabe - I can assure you I would feel exactly the same were it the mother who had the accident whilst out with an illicit boyfriend.

I'm rarely so judgemental, but, Nancy - the wife (mother) would have remembered to put the break on or would have kept one hand on the buggy.

In fact, it was probably her devotion to the kids that led the hubby to look elsewhere.

It's not the Mistress' fault... She wasn't married (AFAIK) and they aren't her kids and, presumably, she doesn't have any rights of care for them.

But, I still don't think a mother would have forgotten about the buggy.