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Girl, 2, drowned in her buggy after father let go to kiss mistress

557 replies

mrshamiltiongiles · 18/02/2009 22:14

here

what a bastard

OP posts:
donnie · 19/02/2009 08:34

I wondered how long it would take for this thread to become another chance to berate Madeleine McCann's parents. And it wasn't long.

And Wannabe - why did I just KNOW it would be you that did it? why the fuck can't you leave them alone ?

Marne · 19/02/2009 08:38

so , a nasty accident that could have happened to anyone.

cory · 19/02/2009 08:45

I am completely unconvinced by the a-mother-wouldn't-have-forgotten-to-put-their-brakes-on.

How many days is it since we had the last my-child-ran-out-in-front-of-a-car?

Toddlers are killed, injured, put into danger every day because mums forget to hold on to them near cars. Or are you saying we should be less afraid of traffic than of the sea? And if so- why? Is traffic in some ways considered less dangerous because there is so much of it? Traffic is the biggest killer in this country. And you still regularly see mums forgetting to hold on to their toddlers when walking next to a busy road.

There are two things here.

In this country, man-made things are considered natural but outdoor things are considered scary and an unusual risk to take. So a child who is run down by a car doesn't even make the local press. A child who is killed toboganning or in the sea makes the national press. (In Scandinavia, which has less manmade environment, you are likely to see the opposite. Everybody accepts that Nature can kill, it always has, but a death from a manmade environment seems so unnecessary).

Also, this country still considers mothers to be the natural carers. So if a mum let go of her toddler and it ran into the road, noone would report the fact that it was the mum or think oh-that-wouldn't-have-happened-if-the-man-had-been-in-charge-but-women-can't-be-trusted-with-childre n. But the other way round, and that's the immediate reaction. (again, it is likely that this would have been reported differently in a country with more paternal involvement in baby care).

RealityIsMyOnlyDelusion · 19/02/2009 08:57

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pramspotter · 19/02/2009 09:02

That asshole was kissing his mistress in front of his babies?

To me, people wouldn't even have affairs and break up young families unless they wanted to really hurt the kids.

He and the mistress should go to prison for life. Even before that baby went into the water they were disgusting human beings.

This isn't the first time I heard of a child being injured or killed in the care of daddy and his girlfriend.

Horrible accidents can happen even to the best of parents. But when a parent is more interested in getting off than supervising his kids accidents are more likely.

Bastards. They can't be punished enough. But they won't be punished at all because our society does not put women and children first.

springlamb · 19/02/2009 09:06

Some years ago we were walking along some cliffs with ds then 9 and dd then 18mths in her pushchair. At the same moment both dh and I felt that ds was a little too close to the edge, we both shouted and ran for him, leaving dd in her pushchair with no brakes on. Thank God it was not a sloping path.
We were pretty shook up afterwards, both really shaking, nearly crying, we had to sit on a bench for a while.
Then there was the time that dh was waiting at the bottom of the slide to catch dd but then ds took a bad fall on another piece of equipment and he ran to the bleeding child (whilst I just screamed).
There but for the grace of god...can't believe some of you subscribe to the 'well the mother would have put the brakes on'.

traceybath · 19/02/2009 09:08

Such a tragic story - not sure how he and the lady he is with will live with this.

I'm paranoid near water and on hills and always use the wrist strap - but i'm certainly not perfect.

Do think it was pretty low though to meet the other woman when with children - especially 3 year old as surely she'd have noticed her daddy kissing someone else.

Poor family.

Kathyis6incheshigh · 19/02/2009 09:08

What I want to know is, was it a Phil & Teds? All I have found is that it was a double buggy and a three wheeler.

Phil & Teds freewheel more easily than any other buggy I have ever known, even on a slight slope. It would make it more understandable in a way if it was.

pramspotter · 19/02/2009 09:10

Look people if the father and the mistress had any good feelings towards those kids they would not be having an affair in the first place!!

I don't usually jump on the hang em daily mail brigade but this really has got me going. I seriously would hang the two of them.

deepinlaundry · 19/02/2009 09:10

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belgo · 19/02/2009 09:12

springlamb - totally different. You and your dh left the pram because you were concerned about the wellbeing of your other child.

This 'father' left the pram because he was more concerned with getting off with his mistress.

2pt4kids · 19/02/2009 09:15

Very very sad and tragic accident.

I just read on one of the links that the mother and father are staying together and supporting each other and their other children.
None of us know the state of their relationship. Who's to say they didnt have an agreement to see other people or something like that which the papers dont know about.

nailpolish · 19/02/2009 09:18

wow pramspotter dont hold back your opinion there...

i feel sorry for him
and if it were my dh i would forgive him and support him as i hope he would support me if our child died in such a tragic accidnet

pramspotter · 19/02/2009 09:20

Well nailpolish if you would support your dh for loving his dick more than his children and getting one killed as a result...then there is nothing I can say to that.

That is exactly what happened here.

Celia2 · 19/02/2009 09:20

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nailpolish · 19/02/2009 09:22

he was embracing the woman
not shagging her

they might not even have been having a sexual affair, you dont know, you are only assuming cos it makes a great story doesnt it

lets hope the wife isnt a mumsnetter

pramspotter · 19/02/2009 09:28

Doesn't have to be a sexual affair to be nasty and evil towards to the kids though does it.

nailpolish · 19/02/2009 09:33

such venom

im sure you are lovely in RL

pramspotter · 19/02/2009 09:34

I am actually. I just don't like people who have affairs and harm kids.

Lulumama · 19/02/2009 09:37

i suppose you could argue that but for him being there with the mistress, it never would have happened. but that does not mean either of them caused it, they were terribly careless and foolish, but have they crossed the line into negligence? they did try to rescue the children. the whole mistress angle is a horrible twist, without out, no-one would be blaming eitehr parent .. eevn if they had turned away to tie a shoelace, button a coat, kiss each other , whatever it might have been..

i doubt either of them met up with the deliberate notion of ignoring the children to the point of serious harm/death occuring

YeahBut · 19/02/2009 09:38

I can't imagine that anything we have to say is even a fraction of the hell the father is going through at the moment. He made a mistake and his daughter is dead. He has to live with that for the rest of his life. I'm quite sure that he doesn't need the world and his wife tell him that.

wannaBe · 19/02/2009 09:38

The reason I brought up the mccanns was because it shows how people judge other people based on what they know about them, as opposed to what actually happened iyswim. If a child went missing under the same circumstances, but instead of a married couple going for dinner it had been a man/woman and his/her lover (and fwiw I do know a woman who took her child on holiday with her lover [shock, well actually i know the lover but ykwim), the response would have been totally different, and the support would have been less.

Equally if the man in this instance had been kissing his wife, or his other child, or anything else that did not involve his infidelity people would have had nothing but sympathy for him, and yet it wouldn't change the fact that he had left the buggy on a slope with the breaks off.

Should we not judge the incident, rather than the people involved?

If leaving a buggy on a slope is negligent then the man was in the wrong regardless of whether he was having an affair/kissing his wife/throwing sticks for the dog. You are not more or less to blame dependent on your morals.

wannaBe · 19/02/2009 09:40

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GetOrfMoiLand · 19/02/2009 09:42

Blimey. Some of the reactions on this thread are a bit extreme.

Yes, the father was a prize prat and made a huge error of judgement, but he will have to live with this for teh rest of his life. So will his poor wife and also the mistress.

That accident could have happened any time. The father could have stumbled and let them go. God bless all the perfect mothers on here who have never (inadvertently) done anything risky.

When DD was in her pram we were walking along Woolacombe beach down to the seashore - the tide was out and it was bloody miles away. I played a game where I would shove the pram, it would go fast and dd would giggle like mad. However, I pushed it a bit too hard, and the wind caught it, and took her all the way down to the sea. Cue me running like the clappers the length of the beach (dd shrieking with laughter btw).

So yes, you have to be extra careful and vigilant by the sea, but bloody hell we're not all perfect.

The level of venom on this thread is quite extraoridnary, really.

pramspotter · 19/02/2009 09:44

No wannabe not at all. Never been cheated on that I know of.