Boy is Dad at age 13, he looks so very young

[Lizzylou]

Here, he just looks so young

HBLB my eldest DS wants to go to uni, if he became a parent at 13 he might not be able to do that, he might end up in a dead end job on next to no money, never afford a decent home, never fulfil his dreams, waste everything he wants to have. And for what.

Children and children for a reason, they are not supposed to have babies at that age

Kimi, alot of uni graduates have been told to not set their standards to high now because of the recession, they may not get their dream jobs (which come with high salaries they are expecting). bet there are loads of graduates who will now be working at their local supermarket. so going to uni doesn't actually guarantee that your kid will have a decent life and great job opportunities. unless the recession suddenly disappears that is...

Well yes, he might do this, or he might do that, but having a child when you are a teenager and even less fathering a child when you are a teenager, is not a guarantee that you will be stuck in dead end jobs and have a shit life forever. It really isn't.

Which isn't to say that everyone should tell their children to rush out and spread their seed far and wide. Of course people should be discouraged from having children before they are ready to do so. But there's a hell of a difference between emphasising how important it is to act responsibly viz sex and telling young people that they might as well give up on life when they get it wrong, as some inevitably do.

well hopefully when he goes in 6 years time things will look better.
What is wrong in wanting better then the dole queue?

Just because someone can have a baby does not mean they should and that applies to all ages.

So where do you see this 13 and 15 year old going?
A. Stay together, do well at school, get good jobs, raise their baby well and live happy ever after
B. Growing up not being together, getting poor or no jobs, being the same as their parents?

Sadly me thinks the latter

That very much depends on what support they get next, doesn't it?

I am frankly astonished that Social Services haven't stepped in yet.

HBLB if the main support they get is from their parents then they are doomed.
Social services should be involved, but as my mother has been waiting to be given a social worked since she had her leg amputated 8 weeks ago and still no sign of one so they seem to be few and far between.

A friend of mine who works for the DWP said the gran will have to make a claim until the 15 year old is 16 but she will get a lot of help.

I hope the DNA test gets the 13 year old off the hook, and hopefully he might think twice before playing grown up again.

"Funny old world this when people have been slated on here over giving their child a fruit shoot, but a 15 and 13 year old having babies is defended."

But that's not what is happening.

What is happening here is that people are defending the children against vicious attacks. People are not defending the act of sex between children and children having a baby. God, you can go round and round in circles here. I give up.

What's happened has happened - is it not time now to be constructive?

The 15 year old's mother is quoted in the sun saying noone has been to see the 15 year old or the baby since the birth

No one except the press.
Why was this girl not given a social worked Before she had the baby, she had 9 months to get help and guidance.
Why were her parents not trying to get her help? Why did her Dr not contact social services?

Not a thing will be learnt from any of this.

But perpetuating this cycle isn't constructive.

No, it's certainly not constructive to perpetuate the cycle. Nobody has said that, is saying or hopefully will say that on the thread. I'm sure nobody here thinks it's a great idea to have a baby so young.

What people are doing on this thread is i. condemning vicious comments like 'dirty slag' etc and ii. wondering how this could happen and iii. how it could be prevented from happening again.

Attacking the child-parents involved certainly isn't constructive either. Far from it. And it smacks of mob mentality to me because it's attacking rather than evaluating and considering what is best now, not just for these young people but also for all vulnerable young people.

"dirty little slag" - ?

Oh dear. This is hideous.

I don't believe for a minute that no-one has seen this baby since birth. Far more likely that the girl's and boy's parents haven't let anyone in as they're far too busy giving interviews

And it's a better story for the papers from their perspective - reading "well the midwife has been round daily and our allocated social worker has been round twice and the family support link worker is coming tomorrow" is less exciting news.

This child (the baby, not the child parents) will have been on the SS radar since the pregnancy was known about, as the midwife will have notified them. I imagine there have been planning meetings for some time now.

If you call the girl a dirty slag, what language do you use for the teenage boy who came forward and said that he might be the father and that she was not his first sexual partner? Or is it only girls who become dirty slags if they have multiple sexual partners?

This child is born, and society needs to give this child the best chance to break the cycle.

Kimi, I admire you for being the 'one that got away' - it takes a lot to break out of a perpetuating cycle. But that should make you even more understanding of how these children can get in that state.

I am amazed that anyone, in 2009, could honestly say that their 15 year old would not come home with their baby, whichever way it happened.

I used to do care work in a home when I was 19, and we had a lady who was there because she had been locked away in a mental institution for having a child out of wedlock. She was nonverbal, but when she saw a baby, at the age of 94, she shuddered and couldn't even touch it. She was so deeply traumatised.

The issue here is that you have two very young children who are being exploited for a good story, while there is a little baby in the middle, totally ignorant.

IF he is the father, then they both need support to be the best they can be for that little girl. Give them a chance to change all of their futures.

btw that Times article stated that both families were getting SS support, and that there was an intense package in place for the mum and baby. Oh, and that Alfie's truanting was so bad that his mum was being taken to court... Possibly possibly this is the time when they will turn their lives around. It isn't that likely, but I really hope so.