Here's a story to get you all debating - was the mother in this story right or worng in her actions?

[saltire]

here.

She has come in for a lot of criticism. I personally think she was wrong. but I am not the mother of a 14 year old daughter.

I don't understand calling a 14yo a child. I was raised in USA, a 14yo is an adolescent/juvenile/teenager -- but not a "child". Calling a 14yo a child is putting them in same camp as a 4yo, patently not the same. Obviously not an adult, either, but somewhere inbetween. At age 14, I would have been deeply offended if you called me a "child".

Anyway, I do agree that if threat of SO Register scares grown men off teen girls, that is a good thing.

ha wait till you have a teen. I never thought i would be the "kind of parent" who would allow shit like that. My teen was already in a sexual relationship with his gf so once i knew my main priority was trying to make them wait another few months till she was 16.

It wasn't gonna happen so i did what i thought was best.

That's all i could do. They are still together and still in love. Their 3 year anniversary is in April.

peanutbutter...here a little abstract from wiki:

Definitions
The United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child defines a child as "every human being below the age of 18 years unless under the law applicable to the child, majority is attained earlier."[2]Biologically, a child is anyone in the developmental stage of childhood, between infancy and adulthood.

Hmmm i was 15 and my BF was 24. We were together on and off for 13 years. My parents new we were having sex, i was on the pill.

I don't remember feeling it was wrong, i was given practical support from my parents and advice. I moved in with him when i was 17.

Now i am not so sure about it all. I just feel that i was too young to embark on such a relationship and sort of wish my parents had made a stand.

It does not seem right to me now but at the time i would not be convinced otherwise, i just felt grown up

If my dd were to do the same i am not sure what i would do. My ex (her father) would probably support it but i know my dh would not. He thinks the whole thing was wrong and cannot understand how my parents did not intervene.

I think until you are faced with it and the type of child in the situation it is hard to comment. My gut reaction is to say noooooooo and set her 5 brothers on the fiend.

I was very old for my age and had a lot of responsibility. Which is where my parents probably felt they couldnt lay the law down about that as i was treated so adult in respect to responsibility around the home\childcare\working etc...

This case did make me think about that part of my life.

i have three teens.

the issue IMO is not teenage sex.

the ISSUE is a man having sex with a 14 year old girl and the mother allowing it.

i cannot stop my teenagers having sex. i do not have to condone it.

if it was a 22 year old - they would be warned, arrested and if persistant battered. and i would certainly not allow it under my roof.

i took my sons first gf to family planning when she was 15(he was 16) and too scared to ask her mum.

my daughter aged 15 is on the pill, just in case.

there is an active diference between ignorance and being responsible or irresponsible.

hopefully as paretns you will have set the standards by the time they reach that age.

I was also 17 and my now DH was 25 when we met. We started living together when i was 18.

We have 4 DC and got married last year.

I think tbh i am more about it all since i split from my ex almost 3 years ago. We had 3 children together and he bought up the twins for the most part from a previous relationship.

I think our relationship was unhealthy, he was too much 'in charge' and i was the doormat. I suppose i feel that was established from when we first met and i just didnt change it as i assumed it was how things should be. I was blinkered, much like a 15 year old for the entire time.

Of course i could have made the same decisions and lived the same life had i met him when i was 19. I don't know.

I just hope that if the kind of situation occurs with dd (or any of the children) i can support and protect in equal measure.

FGS i struggle to let the 10 year olds out alone atm let alone even think about them having a relationship.

This situation actually came to light because the girl aged 14 had an argument with her Mother. The girl then talked to her school teacher about her argument and the teacher reported this matter to the police.

I feel the Mother tried to act as her best friend rather than her parent. She was wrong to facilitate this relationship under her roof; them having sex is only a small part of it. Besides which what is a 22 year old man doing with a 14 year old?.

There's a hell of lot of difference between say a 14 year old girl and a 19 year old who in the eyes of the law is now adult.

I don't think that many young girls or boys actually know about the age of consent or perhaps even care about the consequences of having sexual relationships early. Many girls go onto actually regret their first sexual experience particularly if it occured at a young age. The vast majority of young people at that age are certainly nowhere near emotionally mature enough to handle a sexual relationship although they think they are.

I think the 22 year old has now been put on the sex offenders register and rightly so. He's also looking at a prison sentence; sentencing will take place in January. The law is there to protect young people.

Lots of Hypothesising going on and I see that Custardo has joined. To be honest, I am glad as she seems to be the only person on here who has teens and can comment. Where are the rest of you?

I have a teen dd. I agree with Custy. But I think it went wrong for this mum long before her dd took up with the 22yo bloke -- you do need to work quite hard at getting them to talk to you, and it sounds as if she threw in the towel early on.

Gingham, I have a teenage boy, as stated below.

frogs I disagree that she had thrown in the towel on talking to her DD early on. The DD obviously was talking to her. Otherwise, she wouldn't have known about her relationship with a 22 year old, much less have been able to facilitate it.