what do you think? was the resturant right?

[2shoes]

or is it discrimination

I now await being asked to not take dd to places incase she puts people off their food.

of course we really need more people with disabilities to eat out in proportion to their numbers in society and then all restaurants would have a quota and the competition would be equal

life being what it is moswt people with disabilities struggle to get out for meals and probably always will

I am wondering about a couple of things.
The owner has lived her for 20 odd years. but is his English good? was the lady's communication good?
could there have been a language barrier on both sides? maybe this is why a third person was asked to tell her?
why couldn't the owner allocate a table(discreet) for her and a non busy time(so that they could accommodate her needs)

seems like there were ways to solve this.

now all the owner has does has shown him self as a bigot.
so now I for one wouldn't go to his cafe(not that it is near me anyway)
but if he gets away with this.
where will it end?
will I be told dd is not welcome at a family pub.. just in case a dc is upset or she upsets the customers with her obvious disability.

I shan't lie, if I were to watch someone eating and they were dribbling or eating messily for whatever reason then I would be put off my food.

I've left my dinner before now because of the way DP was eating and he has no problems.

But in a restaurant I'd simply not watch. The lady in question has as much right to eat ther as I do and her eating in this way (which isn't through choice) is not going to stop me eating my meal.

I think the cinema thing is a totally different kettle of fish though, if someone SN or NT is going to stop something being possible for everyone else then it's unfair. A woman dribbling in a restaurant because of a disease is not stopping me from eating my food, me watching her might do, but that's my own damn fault. Someone shouting in a cinema could stop me being able to watch a film though.

Oh, also the H&S aspect really pisses me off.
I went to a music festival a couple of weeks ago and was talking to a guy who has MS, he was n a wheelchair and because of this we kept getting told to move back from the stage when the band he desperately wanted to see was on.

There was no provision for him to be able to see the band, no help from the people who were running the day, nothing.

There was a massive area around the stage which roadies were just wandering about in, why could they not have let him in there?

the wandering round with coffee is unnecessary

i do wonder whether there is more to this stgory in respect of their own personalities or a personality clash

i find the idea that he has banned her because she is disasbled hard to believe

banning her because he doesnt like her i could her understand

I think the big issue is that there were other things he could have done, but he didn't even try.
He could have told her not to carry coffee around and asked her to make sure she wore clothing that wouldn't fall down, I'm sure no-one would object to her being asked to wear braces or something and to remain seated at her table during her meal, but he didn't even try.

I agree zippi that there is almost certainly more to this story than what is in that article. It is the Daily Mail, after all and I expect everyone concerned is a bit about how their side has been represented.

Custy - I can honestly say that I would not be put off my meal by someone eating messily and dribbling. I have two toddlers, and if I was that squeamish I would have died from starvation by now.

The only think that might cross my mind is that I would feel very sad for the person in question. It's a reminder of one's own mortality and fragility, and I suppose that can detract from the jolliness of a meal out. But I would give myself a slap if I actually considered boycotting the restaurant for the sake of my own sensibilities.

is portuguese food nice

i am off to portugal on saturday

i got the impression it was not thast great

MadamAnt I am well impressed that you would not be put off. I used to feel quite squeamish and on edge waiting for my daughter to regurgitate her food when she had a condition, now mostly corrected by surgery, which made her bring back almost everything she tried to swallow, whether solid or liquid.

I still used to take her out but would try to ensure we were in a corner and had a huge pile of napkins.

IMO and E it is very different dealing with someone who should be able to swallow food and can't than with a toddler or young child who is still learning.

The only time a disability has factored in my decision making was in Japan when I frequently chose to go to a place where a man with severe LD's was on the staff over other local bars and restaurants.

Thinking about it this was probably because the part of Japan I live in people of non-asian appearance were stared at and very occasionally refused access. The bar that employed the person with LD's was always welcoming and never silly about having foreigners in the place.

Nowadays I'd make a bee line for a place that accepted this lady as it would be somewhere that I could take ds1.

Apologies to all Portuguese people on here, but I found the food there sucked, so I wouldn't go to a restaurant that served Portuguese food, because I don't like it.

We buggered off to Spain quick.

But I definitely wouldn't go to a restaurant run by a loser, narrow-minded bigot like this.

And I'm not coming it from the viewpoint of, 'Oh, she could have been my child, friend, sister, etc.' but she could have been and/or could be me one day.

Do you people honestly think you're just completely exempt from ever developing needs like this? Do you really think you're that invincible?

Because if you do, I wish you the best of luck. You're going to need it.

that is the trouble.
there are grown ups on here who still think like teens.
they think they are invincible and it will never happen to them,
they think it will never happen to their dc's.
it could(hope it doesn't) but it could.
dd's school has a head injury unit.
a lot of the children there will make a full recovery.....a lot won't.
shit does happen.

hay i wouldn't be put off by it either

my point is - that if i turned up and the lady was there i would have my meal and that would be that - it might be a little peturbing seeing somone spit on the floor or see the pants fall down or spill drinks.

but as ( it hink it was zippi) pointed out - you et stuff in restaurants - other people doing what they do, too loud, too drunk, smelly - whatever

if however you knew that thre was gong o be a loud person in there everytime you went - would you

a smelly person - would you?

a drunk person - would you?

if it was a common knowledge that the lady would be there ever time - i might go to an equally good restaraunt, with the good wine, the good food, the good atmosphere where there wasn't a woman spilling drinks, spitting on the floor and showing her kecks occasionally.

its not one offs i am refering too.

i suggest that the majority of people are taking their business somewhere else becuse unlike saintly mumnsetters - they don't actually think that they can ignore the spitting, flashing and spilling of drinks.

If I knew there was a restaurant that welcomed people who for reason of disability spat, dropped their trousers and spilled drinks then I would be more likely to go.

Nothing to do with being saintly.

I would assume I could take ds1 without being subject to gawps, stares and tuts.

And I would tell my friends.

And the people at the swimming club we went to today (full of people who feel unable to go to general public sessions).

Like I said the man missed a treat.

I think comparing this behaviour for reasons of disability to drunkeness or poor personal hygiene is missing the point entirely and I believe that those sorts of comparisons are one of the reasons that inclusion so often fails.

I would happily help her by pulling her trousers up.
agree with jimjams. there is no comparison between disabled people and drunks and yobs.

I agree too. The trousers falling down wouldn't bother me. I'ld be a bit taken aback, but I wouldn't find it offputting.

I would be happy to dine with someone as brave as this woman. I read once that this used to happen to injured fighter pilots in WW@ - customers didn't want to look at horrific injuries. At least then, the callous would be diners were criticised and told to leave themselves if it bothered them. There are far worse things to put up in restaurants like being stuck at a table too close to a self important bore droning on.

Bloody hell, how awful - the poor woman, as if she doesn't have enough to contend with. What kind of people are his other customers?? I don't think I'd want to eat with them.

I'm truly not squeamish about someone with motor problems eating messily and could happily sit at the same table, let alone the same restaurant. In fact, it's not hypothetical - I've done just that in the past.

I know other people are more squeamish than me - have no problem with that.

What I do have a problem with is the idea that if Person A is disturbed by an aspect of Person B's illness, it automatically becomes Person B's problem to solve.

cyberseraphim there was a news story about a group of ex soldiers(think they were army) who went swimming at leatherhead leisure centre. they were asked to leave as a woman complained that she found their disfigurements upsetting

It is such a shame that it is virtually impossible to have a debate on a subject like this on here without it descending into the usual them and us scenario.There are so many people on here with such in depth knowledge and experience of SN and then people like me who don't have the words to express what i mean without getting it wrong and offending someone.I think the treatment of this woman was horrendous and believe we all have the same rights but I managed to word it wrong and found myself on the wrong 'side'somehow.In RL I have several friends with SN kids and I am sure if i said the wrong thing or misunderstood something they would say FGS noddy and put me on the right track without making me feel c**p but here that does seem impossible, which is a real shame.