what do you think? was the resturant right?

[2shoes]

or is it discrimination

I now await being asked to not take dd to places incase she puts people off their food.

What if it was a gay disabled person then GRS.

It looked like it might be a franchise. Just had a look for newsletters but can't find anything. Off to bed now but will try to find out more tomorrow.

Once again someone's nicked my business idea

I went to castle with my two boys and a friend whos son has MD and a daughter who has downs.

I almost ended up slapping some stupid old sod who had a go that her son was "making noise", the staff ask him and his wife to leave the castle, we stayed and had a lovwely day.
Most people with a disabilty or a SN child do not ask for "special" treatment, we just want to be / our children to be treated the same as everyone else.
I am far less offended by a person with a disabilty eating then a able bodied drunk pissing in the street.

Also I am far less offended by a child ticking, dribbling, or what ever then a stupid bitch woman posting crap about how offensive a disabilty is.
I do believe the nazis had a problem looking at the disabled too

this is a good thread and I am glad I started(even if someone objected to my link)
it has showed me that there are decent people out there. of course these sort of threads bring the shitheads out(I make no apologies for calling a certain poster that) and the ignorant people. but in the main it seems most people are good
as for this
By Greyriverside on Sat 12-Jul-08 19:02:34
If you are parent/carer to someone who can't/won't stop yelling do you take them to the cinema or do you consider that it might not be very fair on others?

It's a shame if you have a disability, but we didn't do it to you and I'm a bit tired of hearing "I'm in a minority do everything my way". the rest of us have feelings and rights too.

If the person was (through no fault of her own) acting in a manner that would put other people off their food then it was a selfish act to go there in the first place.

"I don't care if they lose money. I'm disabled!"
I think the poster proved what an idiot they are imo,
as for the we didn't do it line.
well like riven the midwife/hospital did it to my dd.

I'm shocked, but sadly not suprised by the attitudes taht are coming out of this thread.

I appreciate that perhaps seeing somone afflicted by disability isn't great for anyone, but really does that mean they should stay away from places they might offend people, just by nature of existing.

My youngest son is Autistic, there are times when he takes socially inappropriate to whole NEW levels, 3years on from Dx I'm hardening to the glares, the tuts, the 'can't you control that child' remarks.

But there are some things we don't do - not beucase I worry about upsetting other people you uderstand...

but beucase of how UPSET I get when I hear the kind of arsewipe you should consider OTHER people opinions ventured suggesting that actually - you shouldn't integrate your disabled kid into society so much, it might infringe on someone elses exereince.

Do you ever consider, when you get all HOLIER then thou abut things, when you sit there and suggest disabled people or thier carers should CONSIDER the normal peoples enjoyment of an expereince before they go ahead and try it out, well dos it occur to you how shocking and disgusting an attitude that is.

Jesus.

I've just read through the thread and cannot, CANNOT, believe the bigoted comments. And that those people actually thought they were being reasonable, expressing their discriminatory views on a public forum. 'two sides to the story'? fucking hell.

Try this. Swap 'disability' with 'race'. In some countries it was perfectly ok to segregate people of different race because it was 'putting people off' seeing them in buses and restaurants. Do you people think that's ok too?

I am so upset. I have a disabled child and we go out as a family, he is included in everything we do and it has never even occurred to me that some people might find his presence 'off-putting'. This thread has been a real eye-opener.

differentID- I do agree with your point about choosing a PA before she gets too disabled/confused. It's perhaps not easy with a degenerative condition though to get the funding sorted.

When we applied for direct payments (the usual way you would pay a PA if you want total control over who you get etc) - it took social services over a year to process the application. This was a straightforward claim- nothing as complicated as a degenerative condition.

I can't go out without an additional person and SS have just cut my direct payment hours without notice (yep weeks before the holidays). I am now in the position where if I employ someone for the hours I have for the last 4 summer holidays I don't actually know whether I'll have enough money to pay them. So I can't do that. Yes, of course I've complained but I doubt it will be sorted in time for this summer. This will make it very difficult to go out at all (so by jove if we get the chance of the cinema, or swimming or a cafe or something else that might upset the more pathetic wet sensitive conventional types then tough I'm going).

I can understand why anyone would want to keep going without relying on others (who often aren't very reliable- they have their own lives) for as long as possible. I can also imagine a situation where someone has accepted that they need help, but can't actually access it because social services are so useless.

rushing now, so will say this quick. we were having a perfectly good and polite debate on here. I went away to do something and returned to people yelling that there are NOT two sides to it, just the disabled and people who don't do what the disabled want. Stuff about gloating if people got crippled so they'd know what it was like.

So fuck it you can have some plain speaking back.

You want help but "oh not too much because that would be patronising"

And we're supposed to tip toe around trying to work out what to do and say to keep you happy.

You come on here demanding that we memorise lists of words (which change according to fashion) to refer to your different disabilities as though we were your carers or servants.

We have lives that don't revolve around you. Get used to it and get over it.

It's the "us and them" mentality that is the most disturbing thing to me.

There's this myth - which some people on this thread clearly believe in - that society consists mainly of people like "us". Then there are these other people "them", who aren't quite as good as "us", and they're rather needy and difficult to deal with and quite unpleasant to think about really. We will of course be nice to them but there are limits to what we should have to put up with.

Well, wake up.

Any one of us could have a disabled child tomorrow. Every single one of us is just one car accident away from total dependence. A fair number of MNers are going to end up with degenerative disease eventually, and virtually every one of us, if we live long enough, is going to end up with a disability of one kind or another.

There is no "us" and "them", it's all "us". Talk about "people" means nothing unless it means ALL of us. The nazis showed us what happens when you start believing that some people have more rights than others in society.

Do you know, I'd rather spend my time thinking about how to be sensitive to the needs of others than living in a world of self obsessed arsewipes

I think the restaurant owner was wrong, but I think that if his business was suffering badly (to the point of closure) then the people most to blame are the customers tbh. But maybe that is an excuse on his part. I don't know.

At church we have 3 or 4 adults who come regularly with carers. They do shout, but it is fine, it doesn't wreck the service, it just changes it slightly. I suppose people COULD say it is a disturbance, but nobody ever has. Occasionally they lie on the floor, and when this happened at the end of the service, the minister gently asked if people could go out a different way, without drawing attention to him, because I think that happens if they feel a little overwhelmed by the people. I have never heard anyone complain about these people at all, or stare or anything. Even the kids just accept that they sometimes make a noise, and that's ok. They also seem to have grasped that this doesn't mean THEY can make a noise iyswim! And if the children did say something then that is a cue for a conversation about differences.

My 3 have a friend with autism, and again, they just accept that he is a little bit different to them.

It's about respecting people. GRS. Something you seem unable to do.

And your post shows your utter ignorance of disability.

My son (along with pretty much every other child at his school) will require 24 hour care for the rest of his life. Being patronised is irrelevant to him. All I'm asking for is for him to have the right to go shopping, go out for a meal, heck even the cinema, without being the subject of muttered comments and gawps. The right to be able to access things that everyone else takes for granted. Not asking for anything more.

I find it staggering that on one thread GRS is arguing against homophobia, yet on this thread seems to think that it's perfectly OK to be disablist.

I think "We have lives that don't revolve around you. Get used to it and get over it." could be better applied to you actually. Your self centred bigoted arrogance is jaw droppingly awful.

tortoishell- in the book A Real Boy linked to earlier the child in the book was asked to leave a cathedral because he was yelping (ds1 does the same in cathedrals- he loves the space and acoustics). His father complained and did get a big apology- after all what sort of religion banishes the most vulnerable.

welliemum - that's what I was trying to say - the "people" out there to be so offended include this women and many people with disabilities.

I'll say it again though the advantage of having a disabled child is that people like GRS stay well and truly clear (they're either shuffling their feet, busy sucking lemons, or saying 'what's wrong with him?' in a panicked voice). It makes life much easier when you're surrounded by decent people.

Just read welliemum's post- absolutely spot on.

GRS...You are very odd.I do not have a disabled child,I do not have as debilitating disease.That does not stop me from being horrified at some opinions on this thread.
I really hope you never have to go through what some people do.Be it with your child,your parents or yourself.You are horrible on this thread.I will never read anything you post again,on any thread.