Russia conflict is terrifying me

[Miracle29]

I've seen another of threads on here and to be honest to scared to look through them. I've got my 2 children off for half term and encouraged them to watch films and play as there is so much on russia. My teenage ds has come to me today dating its all over the news on his phone etc and he's scared and to be honest I am. I won't show that infront of my children but I am. I had a massive fear of war when I was little, no idea where it came from but I was always asking questions about war and if we will die etc. My anxiety on this since boris speech has heightened and I'm so scared now. What do we do if there is war? Will there be a war? I'm just so scared. I know there's alot of people who are scared but please put my mind at ease.

I grew up in thee shadow of the 4 minute warning; even at age 6 I realised I wasn't going to get home from school in time should it go off, and realised that either I would die or I'd be safe (didn't understand about radiation sickness etc back then,). In my teens I thought "shag someone maybe?", and in my 20s just say a prayer.

I've not been worried about it since.

NATO won't wear Putin going further than Ukraine. Presumably if Putin wants to he'll provoke a revolution, and someone will kill him.

Yes I'm in UK. I just saw it pop up on a news feed and decided check it out on the gov site and it seems legit. It does say it was thought of last year but in relation to what's been going on recently it makes it seem like they're doing it because they know something is going to happen because of all this. I'd be devastated if I couldn't get to my kids in time, the thought of them being so scared without me makes me feel so sick.
When I was younger and had these fears I'd always be met with stop worrying, won't happen etc, but with this everyone seems to be more like something is definitely going to happen, it's so scary etc.
I really thought someone would have killed him by now before he does anymore damage than he already has.

If@Miracle29

If you look at the last alerts the system has been in test phase since May 2021. So hardly new

Nobody can put your mind at ease, OP, because the reality is that this situation is very serious and you are right to be frightened. Anyone who isn’t frightened has not understood the enormity of what has happened in the last week.

Johnson, Biden & Macron have made it very clear that however many people scream ‘something must be done’ we will not be going into Ukraine and will not be attempting to enforce a no-fly zone because to do so would start a Third World War. Awful as it sounds, the least bad outcome for all of us is probably a quick win for Russia in Ukraine.

What happens after that? A massive re-militarisation of Germany is now inevitable, with that country ending its dependence on Russian energy as fast as possible. This will entail some very difficult decisions about ‘net zero’. Sweden & Finland will have to join NATO. The current economic sanctions on Russia will cripple its economy and destabilise its society with unpredictable consequences.

What a mess.

I don’t worry about it. It’s out of my control. I think it must be terrifying for those under the age of about 40 who have not really grown up with the nuclear threat hanging over them. For what my opinion is worth I think it acts as a deterrent. I am glad we have nuclear weapons because it’s stalemate time. If Putin was to be mad enough to do such a thing then he knows NATO have enough to obliterate Russia. It’s not feasible, nobody wins. I would put it out of your mind because there is nothing you can do about it and no matter how many times you turn it over in your mind you will never find a satisfactory answer.

Im worried but I honestly don't think putin would use nukes. using a nuke assures mutual destruction which makes using a nuke a non-starter which makes it an empty threat and should be treated as such.

Putin has already cowed you into thinking this will escalate into a nuclear holocaust. That isn't true. As something I read earlier today said, this is brinkmanship, not a threat. Professionals deal with it day in and day out.

I'm really appreciative of all your replies and reading some of these comments have helped. I know this probably sounds stupid but if I didn't have my 2 children I don't think I'd be as worried, I worry for them. Watching those poor children Ukraine I just could never imagine watching my children or anyone else's child be so scared and the parents having no control over it.
@libraryghost I'm 33. I was working on my laptop today and saw some news feeds some looked promising others not so much so just when I think all is OK, something else appears on my screen. When I saw the alert thing I just thought the government knows something bad is going to happen in the UK.
What a mess first covid then this...I'll admit I was less scared of covid than i am of this.

@Miracle29

I have been stressing too, I have two young kids my husband is on other side of world and I've been upset about

My father has been in RAF for nearly 50 years and was quite high up. He sent me this message yesterday and I want to share it with you incase it helps you feel calmer. It helped me

I spent 40 years of life chasing around looking at, shadowing and generally pestering the Russians. They launched a weapon at our aircraft but luckily they missed, I have been intercepted by Russian fighters off the Russian coast and I am not worried by the latest Russian invasion of Ukraine

Forget nuclear weapons they will not be used.

Britain alone can launch 74 warheads.
So please stop this worrying about something that is not going to happen

Bless you for sharing that @Indoctro

@Miracle29

Yes I'm in UK. I just saw it pop up on a news feed and decided check it out on the gov site and it seems legit. It does say it was thought of last year but in relation to what's been going on recently it makes it seem like they're doing it because they know something is going to happen because of all this. I'd be devastated if I couldn't get to my kids in time, the thought of them being so scared without me makes me feel so sick. When I was younger and had these fears I'd always be met with stop worrying, won't happen etc, but with this everyone seems to be more like something is definitely going to happen, it's so scary etc. I really thought someone would have killed him by now before he does anymore damage than he already has.

If you could not get to your kids in time, the honest truth is they probably wouldn't have much of an idea of what has happening anyway. I could in theory get to my son in 4 minutes if i had to. But id have to know the second the warning went, run and then what am i going to do when i get there? Isn't that going to scare him more anyway. Then its done.

Fear of the unknown is greater than dealing with what you can deal with. So think about what you can do and do things like make plans rather than be controlled by the fear. The fear is designed to cripple you. Its more powerful than the bomb in this way.

Live your life rather than thinking about the 4 minutes that are still unlikely to happen.

@indoctro thankyou that was really helpful thankyou for sharing bless your dad.
@redtoothbrush that's completely true. I feel alot calmer about it today. Obviously still thinking of all the people suffering right now, but feeling alot less anxious today.

Miracle, i am also calmer today. I find informing myself of the situation helps me, but I know it has the opposite effect to others.

What I have noticed is the mood and demeanour of western leaders has shifted considerably. They have moved from 'stern face' to merely 'serious face'. Their body language and tone is slightly more relaxed.

They will be getting intelligence and they are aren't as worried as they were. I don't think its something that can be hidden well. Its stuff like aides running around and a general mood of rising tension, which has dropped.

What leaders say and what they do matters. As does the difference between the two. The two are giving positive vibes atm, with no sense of panic. Concern yes but not panic.

I tend to pay attention to this stuff as much as the reports because its revealing. It my gut instinct and its calm right now.

@Miracle29

No problem, I think the news and Facebook are best avoided as much as possible. I've stopped looking and feel better about it

Ignorance is bliss in this case. Obviously horrendous for people of Ukraine but us making ourselves ill worrying won't help them. I've donated to a local appeal and now I'm stepping about from media for a bit, as watching it was sending me batty.

I slept last night much better, you need to look after your health for your children's sake.

That's what I am trying to do.

Xx

@Indoctro what does your father think about all this?

@RoseRedRoseBlue all what.? I'm not sure what you mean.?

Totally understandable, I'm having moments myself, trying to distract myself and using a lot of gallows humour. I feel deep dread. My heart goes out to the Ukranians

BTW, didn't read the thread, can't be doing with it all atm.

[quote RoseRedRoseBlue]@Indoctro what does your father think about all this?[/quote]
Sorry I was rushing during my lunch hour when I typed that. I was wondering what he thought about the reasoning behind this, our response to date etc. I don’t know anyone who has a military background who I could ask.

I am so angry. And also scared. I feel for mothers of children younger than mine as I remember feeling worries about their safety in conflict so much more intensely. As a grandmother I'm absolutely enraged that a bunch of old men can threaten my grandchildrens' future.
If we survive this surely it has to mean:

• nuclear disarmament
• minimum 50% women in all top table organisations (not me I'm so angry about this I want to kill)

And one more thing- women need to be a lot angrier about this. It's not okay for newborns to be transferred from maternity wards to underground shelters. Children being forced from their homes should be considered a war crime - we've seen it as acceptable that, as women and children, we have to be helpless victims. We need to shout a lot louder about this.

@SouthernMamma

I am so angry. And also scared. I feel for mothers of children younger than mine as I remember feeling worries about their safety in conflict so much more intensely. As a grandmother I'm absolutely enraged that a bunch of old men can threaten my grandchildrens' future. If we survive this surely it has to mean:

• nuclear disarmament
• minimum 50% women in all top table organisations (not me I'm so angry about this I want to kill)

no it will never mean nuclear disarmament.....thats going nowhere

@RoseRedRoseBlue
Oh I'm not actually sure, I've just been panicking about nuclear war and he has just been on at me to stop believing the hype on Facebook / media etc

That no way Russia will launch nukes , they are just used as deterrents.

That's all he has really said about it , plus what I copied below to you.

He said the biggest worry to us in UK will be the cost of living steeply rising, not bombs.

@Indoctro thank you. I feel exactly the same as you, this has rattled me more than I thought possible.

You have got more chance of Putin joining a boy band than nuclear weapons beings disarmed. They are here to stay. There is absolutely no chance in the world that Russia, China or the USA would disarm. We will keep ours and I am glad about it too because it’s stalemate if we all have them. Obviously I would prefer they had not been discovered in the first place but they have and we have to live with it.

I'm constantly anxious about this. It is unbelievably horrific what is happening to all the innocent people right now.

Im currently struggling to sleep and when I do I have nightmares.

I have tried my best to avoid the news but it's very difficult when I have things pop up on my phone and computer.