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Russia conflict is terrifying me

152 replies

Miracle29 · 24/02/2022 18:49

I've seen another of threads on here and to be honest to scared to look through them. I've got my 2 children off for half term and encouraged them to watch films and play as there is so much on russia. My teenage ds has come to me today dating its all over the news on his phone etc and he's scared and to be honest I am. I won't show that infront of my children but I am. I had a massive fear of war when I was little, no idea where it came from but I was always asking questions about war and if we will die etc. My anxiety on this since boris speech has heightened and I'm so scared now. What do we do if there is war? Will there be a war? I'm just so scared. I know there's alot of people who are scared but please put my mind at ease.

OP posts:
Miracle29 · 24/02/2022 19:05

Just wanted to add its probably heightened my fear as I dint fully understand it and rather than actually reading the news I've just seen the bold scary headlines. It was my ds that actually made me think of it more because I feel so sad that he, like many other children are seeing this and it's scaring them.

OP posts:
TellMeMoreHellebore · 24/02/2022 19:07

we can't put your mind at ease unfortunately, this is pretty serious

maybe leave the internet for a while til you feel stronger to face it?

Suzi888 · 25/02/2022 05:55

I was a bit concerned earlier too OP, terrible news poor Ukraine. Poor people.

There only be WW3 if we go to Ukraine, we won’t. We will send support to neighbouring countries.

The military have been aware this was coming for some time.

Try not to worry, there is nothing you can do about it. If Putin wants to attack all he has to do is press the button - he won’t come for us. He wants the old days of USSR.

Miracle29 · 25/02/2022 22:26

Thankyou. Tried my best not read too much today but its literally everywhere. My poor ds came down to me last night and asked if we were to go to war would that mean he would have to go fight....I felt so sad that my child is even thinking about this so he's obviously reading it. The headlines are getting more scarier by the day and I've tried to keep it off the telly but there's only so many film I can watch. Will admit I got freaked out today when hearing putin wants to go further and may end up woth boots in nato and that he's getting more aggressive and just doesn't care. I can't even begin to imagine how that poor country feels, them poor children

OP posts:
FOJN · 26/02/2022 06:35

I think you owe it to your children to read about what's happening rather than avoiding the news because of your own fears, they need you to give them context and perspective. We don't know how things will develop but you can at least reassure your DS we have trained armed forces so are unlikely to be conscripting young people to go and fight in Ukraine.

Natashakatebythegate · 26/02/2022 06:38

The situation is awful but war is unlikely to come here if that is your worry. Try to switch off for a few days if it’s affecting your mental health and focus on family time.

VikingVolva · 26/02/2022 06:44

Use the Newsround website for information presented in a child-friendly way

Keep yourself informed - but don't watch the rolling 24 hour news coverage - instead listen or watch a news broadcast daily, or read a non-tabloid newspaper.

We are not going to fight in Ukraine, and this isn't going to become a shooting war for us. Putin of course will now believe he has to win, and it could get very brutal - those with particular anxiety might be prudent to avoid repetitive news coverage of 'the latest on the ground'

The more you can conquer your anxiety, the less likely you are to pass it on to your DC. Information, in ways that are not overwheming, can be an important part of that

MsTSwift · 26/02/2022 06:49

Fear of war sounds pretty rational to me.

Juno22 · 26/02/2022 09:31

I'm sorry you are so worried. It's appalling that there are people frightening teenagers on the internet by telling them they'll have to go to war.

MajorCarolDanvers · 26/02/2022 09:37

I've lived through the Yalu end of the Cold War, the Falklands War and 2 Iraq wars, the IRA bombings, Lockerbie.

20 years ago it was 9/11 and Al Quade.

Tragically the reality of the world are these conflicts As parents our roles are to educate our kids and support them through these times.

The internet and silly threads about panic buying and making your own bomb shelter are not helping anyone.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 26/02/2022 10:00

*I've lived through the Yalu end of the Cold War, the Falklands War and 2 Iraq wars, the IRA bombings, Lockerbie.

20 years ago it was 9/11 and Al Quade*

I’ve also lived through them all. This one is the scariest.

GirlInACountrySong · 26/02/2022 10:28

It's only the scariest because putin is an absolute nutter...he will have so much more up his sleeve

That scares me

Surely one of his aides or someone close to him will see this for what it is and assassinate him

Because all of Russia is going to suffer massively too

daisypond · 26/02/2022 10:37

You must read the news! So you can understand what is going on. Find a sensible news source - a decent broadsheet newspaper or such. It is scary - because it actually is scary.

daisypond · 26/02/2022 10:40

@Juno22

I'm sorry you are so worried. It's appalling that there are people frightening teenagers on the internet by telling them they'll have to go to war.
Well, teenagers are having to go to war - in Ukraine. The fact of that is appalling. But it is true.
prh47bridge · 26/02/2022 10:41

@Suzi888

I was a bit concerned earlier too OP, terrible news poor Ukraine. Poor people.

There only be WW3 if we go to Ukraine, we won’t. We will send support to neighbouring countries.

The military have been aware this was coming for some time.

Try not to worry, there is nothing you can do about it. If Putin wants to attack all he has to do is press the button - he won’t come for us. He wants the old days of USSR.

We certainly won't publicly put boots on the ground in Ukraine. However, it is not true to say that there will only be WW3 if we do that. There are indications that Putin wants all of the old Soviet empire back. As you say, he wants the old days of the USSR. That means he could move on from Ukraine to invade countries that are now part of NATO. If that happens, either we renege on the NATO treaty or we, along with all other NATO members, have to step in to defend the countries in question.
OneSwallow · 26/02/2022 10:42

The govt have explicitly said they will not intervene militarily, just impose sanctions.

Olden · 26/02/2022 10:44

@OneSwallow

The govt have explicitly said they will not intervene militarily, just impose sanctions.
Yes but as @prh47bridge points out, the issue is what happens afterwards? Will this stop with Ukraine or will NATO countries be targeted?
RoseRedRoseBlue · 26/02/2022 10:44

The most important thing you can do in this situation, for you and your children, is arm yourself with the FACTS. Stop ignoring it, it’s not going away. If you have some basic knowledge, you will be more able to answer their questions.

PeeAche · 26/02/2022 10:47

OP, I'm a bit scared too. I saw my MIL last night who laughed in my face and said she's already lived through it all before and I doesn't care one jot. Made me feel like a bit of an arse really.
It's not that I'm running scared and building bunkers, but I can't help feeling apprehensive. We've had a weird couple of years and it just keeps getting weirder.
I'm also prone to a bit of existential dread. I stayed up most of the night after watching Attenborough's witness statement. 😅

You can and should talk openly to your children about it, for a variety of reasons. It doesn't have to be scaremongering. They're living through history too and there are age appropriate ways of involving them in the discussions.

I remember the Berlin Wall falling and my parents explaining it to me. I was only tiny but now I have my own actual memories of it. Watching footage on our old Toshiba CRT telly in the sitting room and my parents talking about reunited families and politics and war.

NaiceHamAndHugs · 26/02/2022 10:47

It’s been making me feel uneasy, and I’m not usually the sort of person to get spooked easily. Obviously the situation is devastating and we should all feel empathy and I can’t imagine what these people are going through. Kyiv looks like any other normal beautiful civilised European city and this is why the images are so haunting. But what has really hot me today was hearing on the news that all Ukrainian men between 18 and 60 are being told to stay and fight. Just translating this into relatable context is harrowing.

The other thing that’s made me feel anxiety on a different level to before, are Putin’s comments on Sweden and Finland. The man is a narcissistic megalomaniac and I fear his plans run far deeper than Ukraine.

mynameisnotkate · 26/02/2022 10:47

That means he could move on from Ukraine to invade countries that are now part of NATO. If that happens, either we renege on the NATO treaty or we, along with all other NATO members, have to step in to defend the countries in question.

I think we would renege. There’s no way the US or Western Europe is going to get into a potential nuclear war with Russia because of a treaty.

MajorCarolDanvers · 26/02/2022 10:52

I’ve also lived through them all. This one is the scariest

It's scary cause it is current.

Lubeyboobyalt · 26/02/2022 10:56

Sorry can't help - at the start of this I was fairly optimistic that we won't end up with boots on the ground but recent Putin messages confirm he's absolutely lost the plot. Threatening Finland and Sweden, amassing troops at the Polish border too. Madman.

He is getting absolutely thrashed in Ukraine and this is enraging him more - Ukraine know what they are fighting for and they are fierce. The Russian troops are clueless, unmotivated and many surrendering when they realise they are actually supposed to kill having been told it was just a continuation of operations and to gather people. They have tanks running out of fuel and Ukrainians laughing at them and offering lifts back to Russia.

Of course reassure your little boy he won't be fighting, but the UK forces might need to at some point if Putin keeps spiralling.

I keep hoping someone with access to Putin will accidentally put polonium in his tea or novichok on his doorhandle before he gets near his nuke codes

marieantoinehairnet · 26/02/2022 11:03

Well, he's not going to just give up/walk away is he. Hell would freeze over, so what we have is long protracted fighting, until the Ukrainians are ground down, which is a human rights issue.

What happens to the people of Ukraine who can't live under his regime, are they forced to leave, or will he start up phase 2 (cleansing).

Sanctions will do nothing, he's been stockpiling for years and has friends to the East. This will only embolden them.

It is scary.

marieantoinehairnet · 26/02/2022 11:04

Also, his latest speech tells everyone what they need to know, he is a dictatorial mad man

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