Pro-paedophilia campaigner locked up - too blinking right!!!

[tigerschick]

here

Sick

Fine. I wouldn't dream of saying you should feel any different.

newlife-your need to understand and empathise with abusers,and your very strong feelings on the subject,strike me as somewhat strange.i used to have very strong views on DV,and the need to understand why men are violent to women.i used to think that empathy and understanding for the perpertrators of DV was the only way to prevent it in the future.

however,i held those views while i was still in a violent relationship,and wanted him to change his ways.

that is why.

I think newlife is saying that the way to stop abuse is to understand why abusers abuse.

cammelia-i have not been a victim of child abuse.

I' still with Pan on this as he seems to be the only one able to see the wood for the trees.

Who said empathy for the abuser meant a lack of empathy for the victim?

I'm astounded by the short sightedness.

Quotw from Pan
"The interests of most perpetrators and their victims are NOT mutually exclusive."]

That's got to be the most bizzaro sentence I've ever read on mumsnet

Sorry diva

to know "why" would be good. For them to accept responsibility for their feelings/urges, and to know "how" to manage them so no-one gets hurt is often more realistically acheivable.
Not being rude, but need to be off now. It's been an education.

KM - i completely agree with your posts re: being a loser, because that is exactly what it feels like. unfotunately people like us cant get misty eyed with happy childhood memories because some sick pervert decided to rob us of that.

yes we have unresolved issues because the very nature of abuse can cause the victim to have flashbacks triggered by anything from a song, a throw away comment or even the smell of certain aftershaves etc.

our issues are unresolved because, unfortunately, although some people are of the opinion that 'the past is the past' for us it is our past, present and future.

Cammelia - I mean from a healing point of view. Bye.

No-one can know "why"

Think about it

I am Bubble and I also believe that an empathetic approach is most helpful in reaching that understanding. Empathy is quite a specific term and I feel it is maybe being misunderstood here.

Empathy is not the same as to condone.

I have come across paedophilia second hand, ie. it happened to a member of my family.

Empathy? Sorry no, none.

Wanting to know why? Sorry, no.

Glad that the perp is dead? Yes, totally.

cammelia-'s ok,i just didnt want anybody to think i was speaking from experience as i have no idea what it is like for those victims.i have strong views on this subject simply because i am a mother.

Oh Pan how sweet in an ideal world everyone would care for everyone else, feel sorry for their wrongs etc, etc. Sorry mate some people are just BAD BAD BAD and really dont want to be helped or changed.

I'm happy with my opinion and I know I am not condoning abuse so will have to leave you lot with your fear and anger now.

I think that empathy and sympathy are maybe being mixed up here?

newlife-why do you feel the need to empathise so strongly?

i know empathise is not the same as condone.i just dont understand why somebody would care why somebody abuses children.

newlife there really is no need to leave such a patronising leaving comment like that "i will have to leave you lot with your fear and anger" FFS!!!

Outrageous comment newlife, hence my and [anger]

By all means find out why the do it - but sorry they still need to be punished.

I do think putting a 16 year old on the sex offenders register for having consentual sex with his 15 year old girlfriend is ridiculous though, if he were 18 then he should know better.

Because, divastrop, not everyone means to do it. I'm not arguing that they all do it by accident, because that would be stupid. But it does happen that people abuse other people without really realising they're doing it. It happened to me. I knew all along it was caused by a drug addiction, and that's why I don't hold it against my abuser. That's not to say it doesn't cause me all sorts of problems, it does, but to hate him forever just because he fucked up pretty badly isn't going to help anyone.
I am not trying to say people who have been sexually abused should all forgive their attackers, that would be stupid.
I am just saying in some circumstances the hate and vitriol is not necessarily appropriate. You would probably find my abuser has punished himself more in the last five years than the judicial system ever could.