Pro-paedophilia campaigner locked up - too blinking right!!!

[tigerschick]

here

Sick

Last comment now diva...

Because I feel that if I don't face it then I will fear it and I become a victim too. I don't believe any abuser deserves my anger or my bitterness and resentment nor do I wish to let them feel my fear.

I fear for me, for my children, for all children - we are all potential victims and the more uneducated and oblivious we are to these issues the more vulnerable we become. That is why children are so at risk.

Also, as my best friend eventually died essentially because of the childhood abuse he experienced, I have had to deal with inevitable anger that surfaced and i realised that it was pointless and that all that was left to do was understand. I aim to take that understanding and do something positive - to educate and to listen - so that there maybe will be one less victim because of me and my willingless to hear what the abusers have to say. I want to listen and not run away. Not because I want to hear the gory details or lend my sympathetic ear but because I want to understand.

Ultimately, if I let my own emotions become uncontrolled and I let anger and fear reign and govern my every move then I am just as much a victim of abuse as those who experience abuse more directly.

It's kind of like staring the abuser in the face and not blinking. Chopping his bollocks off is like looking away, to me.

"Ultimately, if I let my own emotions become uncontrolled and I let anger and fear reign "

No, no, no

I cold-bloodedly am glad that the perp who abused the member of my family is dead.

Empathy eludes me somewhat.

Did I ever try and understand why I was abused? Yes I did. I tried to think that it wasn't my stepfathers fault, that something made him so awful towards me.

Every time he beat me, mentally abused me..and the once that he sexually abused me.

He has no mental illness. He is an evil perverted man.

So much understanding and empathy for those who find themselves sexually attracted to children..and yet..nothing it seems for those adults who suffered abuse as a child. Because the past is the past right?

I am filled with hate for him. I admit this. I see threads on here asking for best childhod memories and they make me cry, because I don't have any.

Yet I am an adult, have my own children.

Who, strangely enough, I dont beat, or mentally abuse, or sexually abuse.

I dont have a skewed view. It happened to me, I know it isnt right, isnt normal. I have no urge to do the same. Its a feeble excuse at best. Being abused doesn't make you think its ok to abuse.

This man ruined my life. I have no confidence, have suffered with depression for as long as I can remember. I tried to kill myself at the age of 13. Almost daily, I wish that I was blessed with parents who loved me. I feel worthless most of the time.

You want me to have empathy for him? Really? Unless it has happened to you, you have no idea, none at all.

Not once on this thread has anyone mentioned the fact that an abused child has to deal with it for the rest of their life, so yes..a couple of years sentence for the abuser seems pretty unfair to me.

and I change my name for this thread, because I am ashamed. How fucked up that is.

Sorry that happened to you, I havenoempathy.

i was right about the unresolved issues then,newlife.

no, they are resolved

Kerry that is exactly my point we all make CHOICES in our lives - if we step outside of what is socially or morally acceptable then we should accept that society SHOULD punish us.

As so much time & effort has been spent trying to rehabilitate, to empathise with, to protect the rights of paedophiles then really we should be living in a better country than we did when we just punished them - ARE WE - i really dont think so.

cc you are arguing with yourself on that one

The way I distinguish between empathy and sympathy (if I think I'm muddling them) is to think about cancer research.

Pretty much all of the huge advances in cancer care have come from answering "how" and "why" questions, eg Why do some cells multiply out of control, and How can we block that process.

The people who want to understand cancer aren't doing it because they like cancer and feel sorry for it and want to encourage it - exactly the opposite.

I'm very sorry about what happened to you, ihavenoempathy.

Welliemum, that is a brilliant analogy.

Of course, KM. The first priority has to be to stop them from harming anyone. Anything else comes a very long second.

But I think it's not impossible that one day in the future there will be a clear understanding of how paedophilia starts.

It could then be possible to identify someone with paedophile tendencies before they actually do anything - perhaps even before they themselves are aware of it - and then alter that person's brain to remove the paedophilia.

That really would be a win-win situation, because there would be no victims, and the ex-paedophile could get on with their life without being a burden on the state.

That's real pie-in-the-sky thinking, but understanding the what makes paedophiles tick is really the only way to get there.

Kerry that is completely idiotic and the equivalent of saying "fine! let's learn all about cancer one we;ve eradicated it"

God I am grateful for that analogy - it really hmmers home just how much the point is being missed over and over again!

That is a fantastic analogy, wellie.

Except that people with cancer willingly present themselves to the "authorities"

Dictionary definition of empathy

NOUN:

Identification with and understanding of another's situation, feelings, and motives. See Synonyms at pity.
The attribution of one's own feelings to an object.

So no I dont empathise with a paedophile - sorry.

I think those of us who are lucky enough to have had happy nurturing childhoods have no place telling those who have not how they should feel. Whatever makes them feel stronger and empowered be it anger, dreams of revenge, whatever then thats fine with me. Of course ACTING on those feelings would be wrong.

i agree with KM,by all means study them etc in the hope of finding out what causes it and if its preventable,but after they have been locked up.

cancer,as far as im aware,isnt able to think or make choices about who it attacks,so i dont think it is that good an analogy.

is locking up immediatley the answer for anyone who has committed a sexual offence, diva??

Can I just ask you a question Pan?

How would you feel about someone who committed a sexual offence on a child of yours ?

Cam do you really think that changes anything?

All analogies need to be treated with caution. I agree that cells are very different from human beings so you'd want to be careful about stretching the analogy too far.

But for me, it works very well as an example of how you can seek to understand something without liking it or condoning it.

The "understanding in order to fight" approach does work on a human scale - alcoholism is a good example. Alcoholism is still very, very tough to get over but the chances of recovery are much higher now than they used to be, a result of better understanding of why and how people become dependent on alcohol.

newlife, yes I really do think its worth thinking about from that angle