Wasn't there a general consensus that we were going to try and steer clear of upsetting news stories?

[DingdongMegaLegsonhigh]

OK - I'll admit I'm feeling particularly sensitive today but there are currently two really upsetting thread titles in active convos. Didn't post on either as a) I didn't want to read them and b)it would have put them back up the top

The bigger picture is that perhaps some of use choose not to watch the news or read papers full of horrer and gore. That doesn't mean we are unaware of these things. Part of my training included child abuse and it was a really horrific thing to study but it was for a purpose. Not so that we could all say hang the bastards with the mostamount of angry emotions.

MN is my favourite forums because of the variety but if I and going to feel sick everytime someone wants to start a rubbernecking thread then I may have to keep away. Also consider that some mumsnetters have children around and mine sometimes look overmy back and read some before I shoo them away.

Surely the best things is to have the choice to not have it in all topics same as they do with chat then you can all rubberneck to your hearts content.

neither

sorry - I was correcting my bad spelling!

Common sense has gone out the window with this whole title issue !

I turn the news off if I'm in the car with the dses, I'm dreading the day one of them asks me what rape or paedophile means?

No hunker I don't remember - link? what was the context? I can't find it!

for the record I don't think folk should be able to say absolutely anything there are boundaries, but we're talking semantics here. Whether you say 'raped' or 'assaulted' when you're talking about children both are equally harrowing imho but you can't put your words into others mouths, I find a bit arrogant tbth.

Next thing we'll have to be taking IQ tests before we're allowed to post.

Again I agree with your post GS, but up to a point. Sometimes such threads lead on to a discussion which is informative; many people don't realise that serious abuse of children is not exactly a rare occurence

Well, for a start ellsbells, the person who posts about her ds banging his head is probably looking for advice, not a gratuitous ghoulfest or a nice, cosy dose of 'let's string the bastards up' moral outrage...

It's quite easy to draw the line if you have a bit of nous and intelligence

All Topics Without In the News

Please!!!!

Agree with Greeny - often the OP is just being self-indulgent IMHO. If people want to post and people want to read posts then they can.

I personally would just like a little sensitively in thread titles because I can choose not to read the details but can't avoid the thread titles.

I'm not a wuss but I have 2 very small dd's and often find some of the thread titles a bit unsettling - I can turn off the news!

Its not rubbernecking - people aren't getting off on posting these threads.

Some pople may be effected /affected by the story and wish to see how other people feel about it .

Ha, that's such a red herring, mummydear. Surely absolutely everyone is going to feel the same way about the 8-year-old story, for example? What's to discuss?

dindonglegs - that is hard to deal with. dd is 5.7 and she's already asked what does rape mean, and sex and murder.

ellsbells, to use your example of the head banging... if a mother came on here are said 'my child was raped' then they would get support and concern and care. that is right and rather the point of mn.
it's when someone comes on and posts IN THE THREAD TITLE 'someone else's child that we don't even know has been raped' with the likely result that people will come on and do this or say 'how terrible' then it seems a bit ghoulish.
in my opinion it's pretty ghoulish even if they have a neutral title, but of course i wouldn't ban them altogether. that's not the MN way. but a little sensitivity with regards to the titles is hardly difficult, given that the active convos button is so well-used.

But the problem is that what is upsetting will vary from poster to poster. Eg the m/c threads or news about family members dying. If the thread title was "OMG - my ds has been raped" - does that make it in any way less upsetting? And a thread entitled "I am so upset about this awful thing that has happened to ds" - are you really not going to click on it?

If you get physically sick because of a thread title, then the internet isn't a safe place to be.

Rubbernecking is not about "getting off" its about looking and going oh thats terrible with no real purpose.

Mistletoo - I did not say I expected anyone to do what I asked! I'm not arrogant I can assure you. I think a little consideration is necessary when dealing with topics about children being hurt. We are all mums on here and can imagine how awful these things must be for the child and his/her family.

Some people would say that I was strange not to want to know what is going on in the world. However, I find it helps my mental health not to know. I come on here for light relief and good conversation. I don't want awful things like this to be glaring out of the screen at me.

I know that I can only ask people to post titles considerately. I don't expect them to though. Those that start these awful threads do so for their own reasons, not mine!

If you have nothing to say about the tpoic then you dont post on thread but some people may wnat to discuss issues aurrounding it .

Dont we sometimes discuss news itmes with friends , family DPs

It is hard Mercy - you just want to protect them from all the bad stuff. Do you mind if I ask if you explained to her?

Jools, it was on MD's formula thread.

IQ tests for posters - fab idea. I shall email MN Towers forthwith

MD - you are missing the point. I don't want to read the thread because it would upset me. So does the title at the moment. If it was less gratuitously titled, I could live in blissful ignorance.

Can people really not see the difference between going "ooh, look at this horrible thing that happened to nobody I know, all look and post a sad face and go that's awful, because there's no debate here other than to say string up the bastard" and "this has happened to me//my family/my friend, I'm in bits, please help me"

I mean - really?

[incredulous]

"Common sense has gone out the window!" pmsl

It's right up there with "PC gone mad!!" "They cam over 'ere, they take all the jobs!!" and "Hanging's too good for 'em!!"

Keep 'em coming....oooh, hold the lead story boys, we've got some great shots of a mass grave in Rwanda....yeah, little kids and everything, they're pukka shots"

What's it for??????? I can see the motive for Piers Morgan and his ilk, he's a self-proclaimed media whore, a grubby little eft who's grown up steeped in the filth of capitalism and hasn't been saddled with the burden of a moral-based value system. But what are you people getting out of it? You're not presenting petitions, or suggesting social reforms, or even making basic observations - you just dump a big steaming pile of unreconstituted journalistic effluent in the middle of the active conversations,post "" and wait for the stream of fellow career-emoters to join you in a good old wallow. Like a sort of grotesque virtual Tupperware party for people who's secret yen is for the raw suffering of others. Can you really not see why we are objecting? Do I strike you as someone who is afraid to read the news?

god no, surreyhouswife, if someone said 'omg my child has been raped' it would be very upsetting. but it would be an expression of something real, rather than this spooky secondhand pain and 'we all need to discuss how we feel about 8 year olds being raped' business. what is to discuss?

Although, I love the idea of a grotesque virtual Tupperware party