Wasn't there a general consensus that we were going to try and steer clear of upsetting news stories?

[DingdongMegaLegsonhigh]

OK - I'll admit I'm feeling particularly sensitive today but there are currently two really upsetting thread titles in active convos. Didn't post on either as a) I didn't want to read them and b)it would have put them back up the top

I agree wholehaertedly pruni..it prompted me to start a thread

Message withdrawn

I think it's the massive influx of people. You can't really indoctrinate, er, train newcomers to the Way of Mumsnet if they arrive in their millions.

Pruni, you're a very bright button, and one of my favourite mn posters. Don't put yourself down! FWIW I so agree with you.

It all went downhill when they introduced "Chat".....

I don't think that it was the meet-up, but I think that there is a definite mothercare factor. MN used to be the broadsheet equivalent of parenting sites, but has moved to Daily Mail position.

I'm a newishcomer but I like to think that I'm more like the old style poster, in the 10 months since I joined, there's been a noticable change in the topics posted. The tabloidy, shockers are the ones I despair of the most.

Message withdrawn

Was that Mothercare in Richmond or Walthamstow

Message withdrawn

It's not so much the topic matter but the change in tone that I have noticed. More spats / aggressiveness etc (and I know I'm no angel)

it's difficult as well i think because things can move so quickly that, using MissMistletoe's example, someone can come on and unthinkingly place a rather too lurid thread title but an OP that did call for some discussion on the merits or otherwise of children being out in the dark.

then, having seen '8-year-old raped' pop up in active convos, the lovely Megalegs asks on another thread 'didn't we come to an agreement about the lurid titles thing?' but that then becomes a discussion about censorship, patronage and the rights of the offended to question those who are not offended.

MissM did not know about last week's discussions, and therefore reasonably feels hurt that she is being picked on (when she herself has only partly transgressed the completely unwritten and as it turned out not-even-agreed-on rule) and it then becomes an argument about bullying etc. MissM should not feel bullied, ideally, because it stopped being about her 100s of posts ago, but i can see that she does. (by the way, it was greensleeves who posted in support of you previously, missm, i'm aitch. we just have similar christmas names).

i'm wondering if MN should promote active convos more, as it's what people use once they get used to the site (and realise that it's there, of course). but when you start off you tend to use the topics so there is a bit of that 'if you don't like it don't click on it/what are you doing in this section if you don't want to read the news?' kinda thing...

oh i don't know, i'm babbling. i'm not an old hand, i've only been coming here for 6 months, but i do think that there is a tabloidisation of response evident in even that short time. some of the threads last night were witch-dunkingly depressing.

Bullied? Me? Like to see them try. I do despair of internet bullies, they are the worst kind.

Oh, whatever, I'm surprised this is still going on.

why?

Why am I surprised that it's still going on? Well, it seems to me that it got blown out of all proportion ages ago, and is just boring now. I just had a look at the thread titles on the news board, and wondered how many others are offensive. Like, for example, the one about the perv something or other, the little girl drowning in acid bath, the rabbit getting it's ears chewed off by an ant the mentally ill, Gordon Brown's budget. Seems to me some of them, if not all of them could also be upsetting. For the record, I don't feel bullied by what's been going on re my thread title, which I've already said that on reflection, may well have been ill thought, I'm just disappointed that a parenting site I discovered a month or so ago and was at first hooked on seems to be full of people just wanting to have a go at somebody. I have rapidly gone off MN. Some of the boards are okay, like style and telly addicts, the more lighthearted ones, I suppose you could say, but I'm not sure how much longer I'll bother with it to be honest.

but if you look, the conversation today has been about the way in which MN has changed over the years, a matter on which you and i are barely qualified to comment. that's what happens on these threads, they evolve, and the conversation calms down and actual thinking begins.

as i said before, it's long since stopped being about your post, MissM.

if you don't feel bullied and given you are clearly quite capable of holding your own and were enjoying yourself then i don't really see any reason why you wouldn't stick around, but if you don't then fine, i'm sure you'll find somewhere else on the internet where you'll find people whose behaviour is more to your liking. it's a big place. and i know that you were unaware of the thread title debate last week, but for the record the 'acid bath girl' title was specifically designed to highlight the issues that were beign discussed.
accept that you stepped into, as greeny said, an elephant trap, missmistltoe, and forget about it all of this. whether you feel bullied or not, you are clearly taking it personally to some degree or you would not be threatening to leave and then coming back to answer people... i was trying to be supportive, for example, and now i feel you are irritated with me, which was not my intention. welcome to mumsnet and all that, missm... it's not worth taking things personally if they're not meant that way.

No, I don't feel irritated by you, and yes, I know it stopped being about my post a while back. I'm not 'threatening' to leave, just saying that I've been thinking about not bothering with MN any longer due to the respones on this, and some of the other threads, like the pets one for example. I don't know why I keep coming back, just that I have a look in to see what's been said, and find myself replying. Just disappointing, that's all. Never mind, sooo over it now.

Wouldn't say that I was enjoying myself though.

been watching this thread and really feel like some of the long term posters are trying to make the newbies feel unwelcome. fgs someone earlier was saying 'you cant train new posters to the way of mumsnet' as a newbie myself i am asking the question: what is mumsnet?? is this not a public forum? just what is the 'way' of mumsnet? is this site run by the long term posters? whilst i agree some of the topics on in the news are harrowing and i dont like seeing them, i cannot believe that posters (new or not) would go out of their way to upset/offend anyone! i think a simple 'could you word your title better please' would have sufficed instead of this great big furore! it all seems a bit cliquey on here to me at the mo. perhaps all us 'new posters' should go away and let the oldies run the show

Missmitletoe, you have been unfortunate in the reaction you have had so far, keep posting and don't worry about it too much.

ellesbelles, I applaud you. Thank you too, Quadrophenia for your comment, yep, unfortunate is a word which springs to mind!

we have all been trounced at sometimes, consider it your initiation, it happens to the best of us

sit back and watch me get jumped on now!!

I haven't read the whole thread so i apologize if i repeat anything that has been said.
Personaly i think the "in the news" part of mumsnet it interesting, and, although there are some shocking stories sometimes posted, it is a fact of life these things happen and i'm sure most of us read the news/watch it on tv.
Having said that i can understand why some mumsnetters may not want upsetting thread titles thrust in their faces (for instance when i was suffering from depression i was medicaly advised to avoid the news as it made me worse) Could we not agree that if a sad or upsetting story is being posted that we simply put that in the thread titles instead if the facts? and then people can make an informed choice as to weather to open the thread or not?