The poor people in the 'plane, would they have suffered?

[hellymelly]

The news is so shocking, have avoided the tv news for days but read the papers today. Combined with the terrible images of injured children in Gaza it is all so upsetting. I can't help but think about the passengers in the downed airoplane, would they have been alive when they hit the ground? Or would they have passed out from lack of oxygen before then? I just hope that they knew nothing and were killed instantly but I realise that is probably unlikely. .

We came upon the scene of a horrible accident in France on Saturday - car on it's roof in a field - kid's bikes strapped to the back. I have thought a lot about that in the last few days and hoped that they were OK though I have no idea who they are. I had a quick Google to see if there was a news report but was almost gladdened not to find one - the logic being that the outcome wasn't serious enough to report.....

I think its ok that a poster mentions their loss in relation to a thread - but as long as everyone, including the poster realises the topic of the thread isn't their loss and that their own experiences don't mean they can tell other how they should feel.

we all have a right to grieve in our own different ways.

I don't think you can dictate who grieves when and why, BeerTricks. Nobody has the right to limit grief to those they only think are entitled to it.

beer, I agree, grief is to big a word for the sorrow of a strangers death. but we all grieve differently to the loss of family and friends and that influences how we view the death of a stranger.

for me, more discussion of death is better than less.

Not everybody who has been 'devastatingly close to a person they've lost unfairly and senselessly' feels the same way that expat does though, and yet, we are expected to react the way one person that lost somebody wants us to react.

"Grief tourism" is not only nasty and trite but it's ludicrous when it comes from posters who've returned to the same thread over and over again and list off insulting adjectives.

OhIloveAGoodNameChange, I couldn't agree more.

Entitled to grieve?

I give up.

Absolutely don't agree with you, BeerTricks. It's not up to you to tell people whether it's appropriate for them to grieve or not. I hold myself aloof from grief that doesn't concern me. I build a wall so I don't hurt. But I absolutely disagree that it's not down to anyone personally, anyone at all, whether they should feel grief or not at tragic news.

Ok Beer. Like in the Princess Di way.

Oh FGS! OP was asking for reassurance that those people hadnt suffered. That's it. There was no weeping or wailing or reliving their last moments in glorious technicolour, no leaping into anyone else's grief. It was a completely natural thought that she had and couldnt shake so she asked.

the beyond the pale discussion was very interesting and a bit funny actually. as was a lot of that thread before people who hadnt read it came on and told us all off.

WRt suffering
I still worry about teh 9/11 jumpers - I bet everyone on here has too, wondered how long they were conscious for

I am befuddled by the way this thread has gone . Why is it so awful to hope that those souls on board the plane didn't suffer ? It was my first thought . Not ghoulish just plain and simple human response I don't know them but can pray that the end was without pain and distress.
It is human nature to speculate and fret about how it may feel to die in such awful circumstances . Empathy and sadness for our fellow man ,woman and child on that flight must be in all our minds .

Not ghoulish at all unless you cruise the internet for images

I'm really sorry that your thread has turned out like this, op. You must be horrified.

Fwiw I believe that your question was asked out of genuine compassion and I do not think you were insensitive or a "grief tourist". Unfortunately, some threads are effectively shut down by other Mumsnetters occasionally.

Has anyone mentioned using the hide button at all?

i just hide threads i dont fancy

beer Whether it's healthy or not is a different question. I'm not sure whether that matters much at all.

But grief isn't a finite emotion. Just because other people feel it doesn't mean there is less then to go around for family and friends of those involved.

And don't worry about my hypothetical wall I've built! It has absolutely no impact on how I live my life. It just means I don't dwell on worldwide tragic news. But that doesn't mean that others shouldn't. That's how people try to change the world.