New thread re Roy Meadow (no Sir!)

[Janh]

Cheeseball, specially for you, yet another thread but without the Sir! (I'll post a link from the 2nd thread).

If what we are doing here is being radical busybodies then I am proud to be one! I am so sorry your husband feels like this and won't help you escape from the burden you are under.

Many of our MPs have now seen some details of Bunglie's case which we have forwarded to them and not one has said "you shouldn't be talking about this, you are breaking the law". Those gagging orders are so wrong and will surely be overturned before long. If you have to wait until they are before you can do something about your own case then so be it - he is wrong to be so angry with you about something that wasn't your fault but you are the one who lives with him and we can't tell you what to do.

If you get a chance do think about ringing Bunglie, you don't have to tell her your name or any details at all but I'm sure it would make you feel so much better (unless the guilt at doing it made you feel worse...)

The more I hear of the APs' attitude the more concerned I am about the legitimacy of a board member of an adoption agency adopting through it herself. That can't be right, can it? (Or wasn't she a board member then?)

Bunglie, everything you've said makes perfect sense to me, and I don't understand why they refuse to see it too - in trying to keep you at arms' length and control what everybody concerned can do they will end up driving both children away.

Bunglie, please, please call Leigh Day and get either the right number for the solicitor (unusual that there would be no answer at all) or the number of another solicitor and CALL them now before 5pm so you can get a good night's sleep.

Hey bunglie, why don't you call your ds and organize getting together with him. What the hell, at this stage what's the worst they could do to you? They've already stolen your children. So they won't let you see your daughter until she's 18. It sounds like the ap's probably won't let you see her anyway. And maybe if you speak with your ds, he'll pass the info on to your dd and she'll contact you directly.

I wonder if bunglie would be allowed to bring someone to the meeting, as in theory she is still bound by the gagging order and not allowed to talk about anything to anyone, so bringing someone along would confirm that she has broken the gagging order. Maybe it's better not to give the ap's any weapons against her.

Thank you, I feel better now!
The 'am' was not on the board of directors when they adopted my dd and ds. Well I am pretty certain she was not.(Although she has always had close links with them)
You are right SofiaAmes, I can't take anyone because of the gagging order, except perhaps a solicitor and if I did that I am certain they would walk out.
Reading your comments has made me feel less vulnerable to what the ap's can do. I would like to have worked with them, and maybe there is still a glimmer of a hope that they will listen to me when we meet, but I am not holding my breath.
I have spent 10-15 years of being made to feel guilty for something I did not do. I think losing my children was the worst punishment I could have had. However I realise that I can never proove my innocence to anyone if they themselves do not want to believe it. I do not think that the ap's can believe that I am innocent otherwise they have no justification for the way they have treated me, and they need that justification. So in a way I can not blame them for their attitude , but hoped that they would be more open, seeing as I have always been open with them and have always tried to give them the benefit of the doubt.
I am angry not only for myself, and not because I got a bollocking from the AA this morning, but I am angry because I genuinly feel that no one is putting the children first. They may argue that they are by protecting them from me, but they are not. They are hidding in a web of lies and accuse me of lying in order to protect themselves, not the children.
I can not help but wonder if it is a coincidence that the ap's telephoned the night I got a letter from the AA??
Finally. This has given me more strength, and so I shall print of a copy, hide it, and read it on the train on the way to meeting them. That way I should be positively motivated. (don't worry it will be well hidden!!)
Oh- The meeting is not for about two weeks so I have time to calm down and get a few things straight in my mind.
All I can say is, I am going to try and get some sleep now and 'Thank God for you Mumsnetters'

Bunglie, there are some supremely sensible women here giving you really good advice, i wish to add, BE STRONG!!! IT WILL ALL COME GOOD.

Also i cant help thinking that the delay in the contact from the APs and the contact from the AA may have come (possibly) due to the fact that DS has told APs of his renewed relationship with you and perhaps put that together with your last visit with your daughter wherein she seemed to show some blossoming strength towards supporting a relationship with you. MAybe just maybe the AP (awful and vile as they seem to be) are in a state of panick that the limited relationship with DS is dwindling and perhaps they can see the same happening with DD. They seem to be clutching at straws. when are you meeting with them?

Its just another possible point of view, see what you think about it and if anything in the hypothesis sits well with you.

Also I do think that you should look into the AP on the board of the AA scenario in so far as the ethics at the time of adoption and the letter your son recieved that the Adoption Services had never heard of and your communications today. It would seem somewhat unethical to me and a clear conflict of interests, but what do i know. The more i think about it the smellier it seems !!!

sorry that posting looks odd in the time frame i just forgot to post it!! Hope you all get some good rest tonight

bunglie, are you there? Call the solicitor!!

Dear All,
Last night I did sleep well, in fact it was almost a cross between collapse due to mental and physical exhaution and a 'wee nip of the Scotch nectar' Let's say a very 'wee nip', but it relaxed me enough to send me into a comatosed stupor that was very badly needed.
I have re-read your postings and you all are so sensible, do you think it could be bottled, and sold as 'Essense of Mumsnet', to be taken three times a day to induce clear thnking and sanity.
What is that saying, 'too close to the wood to see the trees', well that's what I am, and I find it very difficult to detatch myself from the situation which is why I so much value your opinions. You have honestly put a bit of a sense of proportion on the last couple of days. I think I shall try again with the solicitor. Does anyone know if there is a possibility that I can stop the ap's giving my dd that letter legally? I will phone my MP again, and check he got my email.
I am feeling more positive today, a bit delicate, (not due to the 'wee nip!), and I shall not give up. my meeting with the ap's is not until the 22nd, so I have some time to get myself together so I am cool, calm, collected and not over emotional. (just as long as they can't see the blob of jelly I really am!).
Thank you for yesterday, I will post later if I get through to my MP or the solicitor.
(Oh 'SA', thank you, you have helped me see the reason, I will email XX)

Only just caught up on this. So sorry to hear what you have been through Bunglie I am $%#'~^%$##' on your behalf, HOW DARE THEY?
Not old enough for F**k sake when I was 18 I was a mother, and responsible for another life, yet they are trying to tell you that your children are not old enough $%£$%&#'$%.
Sounds like you have got them on the run, just keep them running Bunglie and maybe they will go over the cliff like a couple of F**ing lemmings!
I will gladly send you a cheque for your swear jar, it would be worth every penny!!
I agree with what all have said.
Essence of Mumsnet -Sounds good to me,can I be the official tester?
P.S. I am so angry I think I will take it out on my MP and give him a bollocking too.

I left a nasty message on my mp's answer machine this morning to complain about the lack of response to my 3 faxes and 1 email. Little does he (Labour member) know that I have joined my local Conservative Party and am going to campaign for his challenger at the next elections in june.

(sorry guys, but I put the cause of this ss fiasco at the doorstep of the nanny state social service do-gooders...maybe I'm wrong, but I do think that the only way to have ALL of this (msbp, closed family courts, biased judges, limited remit etc., improperly trained social services) looked into seriously is to get a conservative government in...Labour have too much interest in saving their a**es to do a proper inquiry...not to mention that the conservatives would get rid of margaret hodge. If anyone wants to argue, please start a new thread so we don't take away from the main subject of this one...I'd love a good debate on the subject).

I have just spoken to the solicitors, who are not available, (I spoke to the secretary), It seems that they are being 'swamped' with calls at the moment and wished that Leigh-Day would STOP telling people to contact them! Dispite this I explained briefly about the situation and wanting to stop my dd getting the letter. They said that when the particular solicitor I was told to ask for had a moment she would give him the message and that she thinks he will probably phone me back. Keep your fingers crossed.
In the meantime do you think it is worth me contacting one of the 'After Adoption' Agencies of who there are quite a few to see what they sugest? Or, would that be a case of 'Too many cooks....' ? I hate this waiting for a phone call.

Why dont you try emailing the them all as well? You write really well and i am sure that a well written email would be harder to ignore than a faceless, personality less message passed on by a receptionist. !!!

I have just emailed a family law solicitor that we used when my dh had problems with access to his children, to see if he is dealing with things like this. I'll let you know what he says.

Just whilst waiting.....I was re-reading some of your wonderful advice previously. I almost feel as if I have got to know some of you by your postings! O.K. I admit I was wrong about SofaAmes, bathing in a marble bath with goats milk, but then anyone can make a mistake!
I am sorry but I have to ask, I know this is 'mums anonymous' but does 'Beetroot' have a split personality.....MadameBeetroot and now BeetyBeetyBangBang!! I love it.
When I was young and I did not like someone very much, I used to imagine them as a vegetable, and what vegetable they would be - It is very theraputic!
Mr. Blair is definitely an Onion. He has many layers you have to go through until you find the heart, he is capable of bringing tears to your eyes but not through genuine feeings within himself and he is very pungent and the smell lingers long after he has gone away!
Now that I have passed away a few minutes I shall write an email - thanks for the sugestion.
Perhaps we should start a new thread on 'are people vegetables??' Thanks for the idea Beetybeetybangbang

You can start it BBBB, I'm not certain I know how? In anycase I should love to know what vegetable you all consider Margaret Hodge to be? (No animals allowed!)

rotten moldy cabbage

And finally - John Prescott a Gherkin, Green, Slimey and pickled!!

I love it SofaAmes, I actually like cabbage, but you know that rotten cabbagy smell Uhg, very appropriate All wrinkled and wilting

Sorry Sofia, I realise I have now TWICE called you a 'Sofa'- a typo honestly, but could be very freudian as you are very supportive!

Bunglie I only let my closest friends call me sofa. Just don't call me sofie, that's the worse.
I have just had a call from my mp's office wondering why I called them to complain regarding no response to my faxes/email. It seems (or so they say) that "fax your mp.com" is a notoriously (not to me!) disreputable organization that doesn't always send faxes on and those that they do are not vetted (wouldn't have thought that was their job), so the mp's don't read them anyway. Great! And she says that all emails sent to mp's are vetted by some central office for content so not all of them get forwarded. Did anyone know this? I didn't. I thought that it would go directly to my mp's office. Clearly the central office didn't approve of my opinion. The woman then suggested to do things in the old fashioned way and send a letter. She said they are only vetted to make sure they are not bombs and then sent directly to the mp. So can I recommend that all of you who emailed/faxed your mp's, resend what you sent in the form of a letter.

I do hope we are still on this thread (learning the computer jargon now ha ha ha )

After having a wonderful day with my dd and all just caught up with the thread. feel like i have neglected it for a while. but then soooooooooooooo much going on.

Catch up very soon

ps
thought for the day..............................................................................IF GOD MADE MAN...............................................................................SHE WAS ONLY JOKING HA HA HA HA HA
i thought it was funny

The email I sent via the central emailing service got through...my MP also has his own website, which has its own email address, and also a hotmail address, they go straight to him.

Sofia, put your mp (Firstname Lastname MP) into google and see if anything direct comes up. (Apols if you already have!)

My mps email address is;
[email protected].