Abortion statistics

[musica]

Just read that one in five pregnancies nationally end in abortion, and in London it is one in THREE! Surely this is not good!

This is the relevant story

I do think it's sad the sheer number of abortions. I knew one girl at university who got pregnant, had the baby and had it adopted at birth. She was completely open about the whole thing right through her pregnancy but wasn't in a secure relationship and felt it was the best thing (i.e. that it was a mistake but she could make a someone who was in the right time of life very happy).

I think this is a result of the contraceptive choices for women not being that great. There have been so many scares about the Pill that I cannot blame a women for deciding not to take it. I've tried that, the cap (which is a right sodding hassle) and condoms which are not infallable. Many women are reluctant to try implants and injections due to very real concerns about implants getting lost and injections taking years to wear off.

I found I was accidentally pregnant 4 weeks after we had bought our first house (good) but 2 weeks after DP had jacked his job in through stress (v bad). I had taken the morning after pill exactly according to instructions but it did not work. It was also not a great time in my career (3 months into a promotion). However it all worked out fine. We thought about a termination as we had wanted to go travelling but I knew that if in a years time I was sitting on a Thai beach sunning myself I would have thought of nothing but my child that never was and the trip would have had a very hollow feel to it. In reality the termination was never an option.

I think as someone has said. Very few women regret having a baby (some do though) but very many regret the abortion.

I completely support a woman's right to choose but I do wish that this choice also extended to a responsibility over contraception too. And yes I put my younger self in that category too.

I agree that women should have the right to abortions and yes I do know friends who have had them early on and I dont judge them at all. The thing I find shocking is I fell pregnant with my daughter when I was 21 when I went to the doctor to get the pregnancy confirmed she asked me if I wanted to continue with the pregnancy and was I sure I had no doubts. Then when the midwife rang me up for my booking in appointment and to give me my due date. We were filling in the forms and she was very polite. She asked me how old I was and asked me if it was planned and had the doctor talked to me about my options and did I really want to continue with the pregnancy! I was 21 FFS I was married, had my own house, own car, full time job, my daughter was a much wanted pregnancy but because I was young I was treated like I didnt know what I was doing. I know they most probably do have to ask but they shouldnt treat it as normal or should they, I dont know - I was just offended. And according to those statistics I shouldnt be having any children til next year, whoops!

fio2 - not sure it was your age -I'm 29, I have a dd who was 15 months when I got pregnant again (v. planned) and yet when I went to my GP and said "I'm pregnant" the first question she asked was whether I would be continuing with the pregnancy! I was appalled, and told her so.

I do completely support the right af any woman to abort (early) for any reason. What might seem trivial to one person could be a huge deal to someone else. But it does worry me that some people, and some health professionals, seem to treat an abortion as merely another form of contraception, rather than the agonising decision and process that it actually is. I think the same about the morning after pill as well - whilst it's great to have it as an option if something goes wrong with your normal contraception, it shouldn't be used as an alternative just because you couldn't be bothered to think about the consequences of sex beforehand.

maybe it wasnt my age prufock, I am just a sensitive soul

M2T, although I can fully accept your point of view, I still disagree with you. I have seen many children, who are unwanted and often resented, who lead very sad lives. While abortion is sad, I think it's much, much sadder to have children living like this.
Also, and I speak from experience here, the consequences of having children at an 'inconvenient' time often lasts much longer than a few months. I had my dd at an 'inconvenient' time - contraceptive failure and failure of the morning after pill, so it does happen - and the financial (and other) affects were devastating for at least 10 years. I didn't chose abortion and I love dd dearly and don't resent her at all, but I certainly would judge or think it a trivial excuse if any other woman in the same situation had decided not to have the baby.

Tabitha - there are other options.

Personally, I think that having an abortion whatever reason you give, is an incredibly hard thing to do. It's never something done lightly, and even those who think it's no big deal to do it,suffer terrible feelings of guilt and regret.

Fantastic point Maryz.

Some people chose abortion rather than adoption as they think it'll be too hard to give up their child, or, as mentioned earlier in the thread, they don't want to worry forever more about how the child is! What?? Is it only me that sees that as incredibly selfish?

Better to terminate the 'problem' than to give yourself any emotional heart ache later on?

And I see alot of people commenting on this thread on the fact that they are talking about EARLY abortions. When is it suddenly not appropriate then? What is classed as an acceptable early abortion??

Lou33 - I think that for some it is terribly easy to decide to do it as they go into it quite naive. But I agree that the only people I know to have had abortions have suffered, and still are, suffering mentally now.

I didn't used to think that people would use abortions as a contraceptive approach, till my beautician told me she was up to her 9th. She had 3 boys already, was married, had her own business and her husband had his own business. She wouldn't take the pill because she put on weight, her husband and her had seperate bedrooms and she said when they had sex they used condoms. She was to some extent blase about it, but at the other end it obviously still haunted her as she told me about dreaming about holding a baby girl in her arms. I was just horrified (this after I told her that I was trying to fall pregnant for a long time and wasn't being successful).

I think the choice of early abortion needs to be available but surely this kind of scenario shouldn't be allowed to happen.

I think this situation is a good case for a vaesectomy for the husband, but many men have hang-ups about the big V I guess. My father has had 2 (he had it undone in the middle in order to have my half-sister) and my brother had one at 28, already having had two children.

I'm with you, Tabitha.
My mom used to work on a child abuse hotline. Enough said about the horrors of being an unwanted child.
My mom also had a termination when she became pregnant with an unwanted 4th child. As the 3rd unwanted child in her family, she had an insight into that.
I can't believe that more than a tiny number of abortions are for "trivial" reasons.

I have 3 relatives who gave up babies at birth; heart-breaking for all of them, even the woman who only conceived as a result of a gang-rape.

M2T I agree, it is easier to decide than to cope with what has been done. And that applies to any age. I know one woman who was in her 30's and decided not to continue being pg. She thought it was not a hard thing to do, but she was devastated afterwards. It was the right thing to do in her case, but it still affected her deeply. Noone escapes an abortion unscathed I think.

But Zebra re the devastated relatives - Surely the children that were given up for adoption would tell you they don't regret being born and would rather that than be terminated!

Quite a large proportion of children that are abused are from wanted pregnancies too surely?

Aussiesim - That is truly disgusting! How could she?? 9?? MY GOD!

I was an unwanted 2nd pregnancy and my brother was an unwanted 4th pregnancy. We have never been made to fell unwanted! An unwanted pregnancy doens't necessarily mean the child will be unwanted once he/she is born.

The burden of contraception and the agonising decision to be made if it fails always falls on women.

Where is the male pill? It is about time men took on their fair share of these responsibilities.

I think we all agree that these numbers are too high. I think it would be more positive to focus on educating people in contraception and physical/pshycological effects of abortions and provide support for pregnat women through pregnancy and after whatever age and circumstance.
Of course there are examples of women who do it for trivial reasons or who think of it as a form of contraception. I choose to believe, and I hope I am not being naive here, that they are few and far between.
I thought the UK had one of the highest teenage-pregancy rates in Europe? I wonder if the UK also have one of the highest teenage abortion -rate and that the high numbers of abortions reflect this?

Debl, would you trust a man with the PILL?

Fairymum, My DH - yes, but thinking of previous partners - no.

(not that I have had that many I hasten to add!!)

Not going to get into the rights and wrong of abortion but just wanted to say that i know someone (friend of a friend) who has had 6 abortions.

Her first was at the age of 13 with 4 others throughout her teenage years - she then fell pregnant with her son who is now 1 - she found out in the summer she was pregnant again and decided to have an abortion.

This last pregnancy was from the father of her son whom she lives with and is in a long term relationship - however, she decided to abort due to convenience.

this is a story rather close to my heart at the moment ...on monday i am booked in for a c section to deliver my 2nd child i am the first person into theatre on that morning barringf any emergencies...my sister in law is booked in monday morning for a termination possibly at the same time..the theatres are next door to each otherand it is a major possiblity that as i am walking to my csection she will be walking to her termination.
i myself think its every womens right to choose to terminate a child ,i dont agree with the use as conraception .in my sil case it was a unplanned pregnancy and after alot of soul searching she has decided to terminate.it has caused alot of badfeeling in my dp family due to sils partner and his attitude towards it so it is left to my mil to go with her on monday .said mil is not taking this well...she cant cope with the fact in one room she will be gaining a new grandchild but in another losing one.
i agree the abortion rate in this country is too high but i personally think too many women use it as a form of contraception .also it is easy to say that women could put these children up for adoption ..i know i personally in the right circumstances have a termination but to go through nine months of pregnancy and then hand baby over is a different matter entireley.

Maybe adoption should be considered more often and, if what AussieSim's says about her beautician is true maybe some women do consider abortion lightly but I don't think any woman should be compelled, either legally or morally, to carry a baby to term, give birth to it and then give it up for abortion, no matter how happy it makes another childless woman. Look at the unhappiness caused to women in previous generations who had to do this, many of whom had their whold lives affected by what happened.

My mom was unwanted and she was made to feel unwanted. Unfortunately, it's true, many children resulting from very much wanted pregnancies are indeed born to the most appallingly unfit parents.
What I was trying to say is that giving a child up for adoption is an awful experience, too.
Why the heck hasn't the beautician been sterilised herself????!!!

Well said Tabitha.