Great. Another baby dead as social services fuck up - WARNING, DISTRESSING

[ImFab]

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I can't bear to hear another story of a beautiful baby dead because his mother wasn't capable of caring for him and social services weren't up to the job. When will they learn?

Here.

Ingrid - you are totally wrong to trample on someone's very valid and real feelings!

ImFab - it was good of you to try and help prevent others going through what you did. You're exactly the person they should be speaking to.

slhilly - Thanks for the info. It just seemed you were saying that any trauma suffered at a young age was severely damaging and caused people to be 'fucked up' I'm sure that this true in some cases but I don't think it's something everyone should just assume to be true.

There is a lack of foster carers, a lack of money and a huge lack of responsibility out there sadly.

I do wonder what it will take to change things. It's frustrating that so many people are outraged by this kind or tragedy yet so few people realise they can help to end it.

If you had lived my life you would believe it.

I am leaving this now as I don't want it to be about me.

RIP little baby .

Also I note there was an apology from SS to the child's family. Well sorry but if there was other family around why were they not doing anything about it????

Speaking as someone who has had SS involvement, I find it horrific than it seems none of the associated agencies could see the danger this baby was in. What about the health visitor? The GP? Any addiction counsellors?

My health visitor has been brilliant, helped me access masses of support, including from SS, but then again, I was always more than willing to co-operate and am bloody lucky that the experience has been a positive one.

than = that

I didn't mean to trample on anyone's feelings; I was offended by someone talking like that in the light of what had happened.

I'm sorry if that was wrong or upset anyone.

I think it's safe to say we are all upset by what has happened, and we might feel that in different ways all of which are valid.

Personally I think SS failed 30 years ago in this case.

What makes an intelligent woman - smart enough to pass her A-levels, go to university and qualify as a pharmacist, hold her shit together, came from a "good family" - start drinking at the age of 8?

What was the trigger there? I'd be looking at the males in her family.

AP you cannot assume the 'males' had any bearing. It's possible of course but it's possible to be completely screwed up by female family members as well.

I haven't read about the mother but clearly something was very wrong.

I can assume - it's my right as a human being! She was 8, most 8 year olds don't hit the bottle.

1 in 10 children is reported to be sexually abused, of those 9/10 are by male members of their own families.

I'm quite surprised you think it could be anything else. She's exhibited classic symptoms/behaviour.

May i just say, ss cant take the blame for everything. I was talking to my health visitor the other day she told me that once she visited a woman who was so drunk she could hardly move, her house was full of rubbish and the baby "looked awful".
She called the police had the child removed, and ss handed the child over to her maternal grandmother, who then handed the child back to the mother that night.

SS have far less power than we think they do, Let's Not place blame with them, rather than the people who do these terrible things.

Do you know her, AP? As I said I know nothing about the mother and haven't read anything about her.

I just wanted to point out that female family members are able to fuck up or damage their kids as well as males.

As illustrated by this case itself.

Very sad indeed but I've had enough of the social services bashing.

Damned if they do and damned if they don't.

Very often the scapegoats and it's getting wearing.

Off to read the serious case review

Ingrid, you don't need to be a personal friend of someone to be able to make a good guesstimate of their situation.

I find it quite amusing that you say "I haven't read anything about the mother" and then follow that up with "all illustrated by this case itself". Do you or do you not know what you're talking about?

I know that she killed her child, AP - that's what I was talking about.

Why do you have to 'find it amusing' or be 'quite surprised' - that sort of tone is really insulting.

I agree with those saying that SS are damned if they do and damned if they don't.

Haven't clicked on link, and won't.

My half-sister has had her 3 children taken into care and you know what? I'm glad for them, and my only concern (which I've expressed to the social worker as she is asking all members of the family for their views) is that she will get them back.

Giving birth is an animalistic biological act. It happens. It shouldn't, IMO, confer rights on anybody. Being a parent is different, and people should earn the right to it.

I say it on all of these threads, I don't think enough children are removed from their parents. Not nearly enough.

Rest in Peace, poor wee pet.

I hate the way these threads turn on each other.
I've just read the most heartbreaking story about cruelty to a sweet innocent baby and we alwasy start bickering.

I know we're angry that we couldn't do anything. Wel I know I am. I always feel like if only they had given him to me I would have loved and cared for him but in reality the people in the wrong are those close to him and responsible for him
May they rot in hell

the serious case review

Warning it is grim reading. I'm in the field and was very upset by it

Terrible thread title, social services did not kill this baby.

Imfab

If you contact your local uni you could become part of the service user panel which will help shape sw's of the future. *

Not read whole thread but fucking hell, where is the vitriol towards the mum? This baby's mother, who neglected his needs and caused him to die a horrible death?

It's not SS fault. It is simply easier to blame an official body/organisation than to face the fact that there are children being abused and neglected all around us by their parents.

Poor baby.

I'm not overly zealously defending SS by the way, just don't understand the way threads on MN always go the same way like this.

i could not watch it all poor lil boy x

Read about this last night , seeing that poor babies picture had really really upset me. It is different now I am a Mum somehow it actually hurts when I think of what that baby went through. I am going to use that emotion and channel it in a positive way , I have been looking at a career in social work. I don't even have any a levels so it will be a long road but I always planned to study after hopefully next dc, I just wasn't sure what to do.

It is not SS fault it is always a dreadful combination of failings.