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Original poster

Embarrassed about our small house!

209 replies

Mumt02 · 23/01/2025 21:03

We moved into this rental property in 2018 whilst I was pregnant with my first son, it was the only thing we could afford in this area and we wanted to stay on the area. It’s a small 2 bed house. Not much of a garden, and downstairs is completely open plan living room, dining room and kitchen.

my son is in year 1 and has a lovely little group of friends, we haven’t had anyone over yet as we have been round to his friends houses and they are lovely and big, nice big gardens and just alot bigger than ours! So I’ve been a bit reluctant to invite anyone round.

I bit the bullet and said one of his friends can come tonight, he walked in the house and said “ this house is weird, it’s so small”
and honestly I can’t stop thinking about it.

yes our house is small, but it’s clean and tidy! They both had a great time. But I’ve been so worried what he’s going to say to his parents when he gets home! They’ve never been in our home they’ve just knocked on the door but I’m just so embarrassed and I don’t know why!

moving isnt an option at the moment otherwise I’d be out of here like a flash!!!!!

OP posts:
SezFrankly · 28/01/2025 18:19

Oh OP this made me laugh. My DSS said exactly the same on our first meeting. I was very nervous and he called my home a shoebox 🙈😂😂
Don’t worry about it. Kids say funny things. Laugh it off and don’t give it any more time.

PurpleThistle7 · 28/01/2025 18:23

I didn't read everything but we are in a super mixed catchment so my kids play at small flats and large houses and never notice. They notice the snacks and the toys and who is allowed to play video games lol.

My friends have a super amazing gigantic house I'm personally quite envious of. Their son was at ours for dinner and complemented how small our kitchen is as the sink is bigger 😂

Kids are super random. I promise it was just a comment. He could have said something random about the colour of your couch or your bathroom or anything really.

Healthynow · 29/01/2025 05:31

Unlike my mother in law who said to a friend, ‘what a small house - at least you won’t have to downsize’

ReformMyArse · 29/01/2025 07:13

Mine are grown up now but during their school years the houses most enjoyed were those where the parents were welcoming and they could just hang out.

Was the same for me growing up. The hangout house was average sized and shabby but our friend’s mum made us so welcome, we had so much fun. My own childhood home was multigenerational and overcrowded and at the other end of the spectrum my friend lived in a mansion with swimming pool but very unwelcoming mother and scary cream carpets.

Manthide · 29/01/2025 08:16

Spaceracers · 23/01/2025 21:09

Are you me? I am worried about my DC who is getting to an age where they are noticing things - like the fact all their friends have significantly bigger / nicer houses. They have mentioned that we only have one toilet!

Dd3 brought a friend home when she was about 6 or 7 who wouldn't stop going on about how it was weird we had a house with 2 front doors! It's a semi and the other front door is our neighbours and not even directly next to ours - the doors are on the outer side. Children have no filter.

Manthide · 29/01/2025 08:26

I think around age 6 is when kids start noticing differences. A friend of dd2's came to our house at that age and asked if we were Jewish! I was a bit surprised but apparently it was because we have 2 sinks, one in the kitchen and one, visable through a glass door in the utility room.
Another one was very concerned how we fitted 6 people in our small 3 bed semi!

Manthide · 29/01/2025 08:38

EarsOptional · 28/01/2025 09:30

Look up the poem 'Love grows best in little houses' I printed it out and have it framed in our own small house and it definitely reflects how close we all are as a family. I do think that having a smaller house has contributed to how much time we spend together in the same room and even though we are ready to move on now, we have so many huge memories within this small space.

Totally agree. I wouldn't have chosen to live in a small house with 4dc but it did mean we spent a lot of time together - basically only one room and a kitchen downstairs and 2 and a half bedrooms upstairs (box room). They are all super close despite a large age gap.
Dd2 has married into a wealthy family with multiple homes all around the world but sil still lives visiting us.

exaltedwombat · 29/01/2025 18:11

I remember visiting a school friend's home as a teenager, and being struck by the same thing, though I think I was polite enough to not say so! Front door straight into the living room, a cubby-hole of a kitchen etc. I now realise it was a lovely little town house, close to the town centre, ideal for a single Mum and her son.
All they could afford? Or all they needed?

Deeperthantheocean · 29/01/2025 18:16

No filter, no judgement, just reaction.

We lived in a fairly big house but DC's friend lived in a huge one and his reaction was the same.

Loved our smaller cosier house much more. Xxx

Toooldtopretend · 29/01/2025 18:20

We live in a 200 year old house which is quite big and I’m permanently worried about having their friends round as it’s cold and so hard to heat. Other kids may comment on the size of this house, my kids comment on how warm other people’s houses are! I’m jealous of your cosy home!

Putneydad7 · 29/01/2025 18:32

Don't sweat it, we have a fairly big house and there is always some kid in my child's class that has a bigger one or a pool or a holiday home. So I'm sure even Bezos is embarrassed when Musk pops in for a coffee.

TheMerryCritic · 29/01/2025 18:37

I doubt it was a judgement just an observation based on what he is used to. When my kids were very young I became a single parent and rented a two-bed terrace. I had a kids’ togs and toy shop and two little kids and frankly, mine wasn’t ‘clean and tidy’, either. I only realised later that I had a sense of inferiority based on the fact all my friends/my sons’s friends owned their own (mostly bigger) houses. A sense of impermanence that they didn’t have. The kids however…loved coming to our house. I got pizzas from cool takeaways (all a bit ad hoc) and they had a great time. I look back now and miss it

asrl78 · 29/01/2025 18:48

A good thing about small houses is they are easier to maintain and cheaper to run. I'm in a house that is too big for my needs and if I move again I will downsize and not care if anyone judges me for it.

BruFord · 29/01/2025 18:54

I understand that feeling, OP. We live in a terrace with a gallery kitchen and small garden, and we’re not the tidiest family! Some of my children’s friends live in large detached properties and sometimes I’ve felt a bit embarrassed about our house.

But we’re welcoming to their friends and that’s what’s important. I’d rather be in a house that we can afford than overstretched with a massive mortgage.

Acedth · 29/01/2025 18:56

My husband, 13 year old daughter and I live in the 8’ x 6’ back cabins of a pair of historic narrowboats, with our two dogs. Space is very tight and we have to limit our possessions. Both boats are sparkling clean, beautifully turned out and cosy, and our daughter has friends over and to sleep the night too. One of her friends said our boats were small- they are! It’s no bother. She is super cool for managing her own boat and her friends know it. Size isn’t everything.

godlikeAI · 29/01/2025 19:23

We have “a lovely big house”. Our teenage kids have friends with all sorts of different types of houses, mainly smaller than ours, and not only do they love going there, they literally never mention the difference in size or anything else. I only know because I occasionally go and collect them

It’s really entirely about whether they have fun. Don’t worry 😉

Sometimesright · 29/01/2025 19:58

MidnightBloom · 23/01/2025 21:06

I think your sons friend was rude to say that. Please don't be embarrassed or worried about your house its full of love and memories and that's priceless ❤️

He is only about 5 he probably didn’t realise he was rude. Kids at that age just say things.

Plastictrees · 29/01/2025 20:00

The fact that this thread is full of stealth posts from people taking the opportunity to state they have big houses is peak MN.

GargoylesofBeelzebub · 29/01/2025 20:03

Honestly kids don't care.

I remember being mortified when my DD visited a friend's flat and commented "you mean you don't have an upstairs?!" 🙈🙈

There was no judgement in it just curiosity.

Sometimesright · 29/01/2025 20:03

Hwi · 28/01/2025 08:11

You should have said 'Little boy, who taught you such awful manners. It is very rude to make critical remarks about other people's homes'.

Really? He’s 5!!

Moll2020 · 29/01/2025 20:28

Mumt02 · 23/01/2025 21:03

We moved into this rental property in 2018 whilst I was pregnant with my first son, it was the only thing we could afford in this area and we wanted to stay on the area. It’s a small 2 bed house. Not much of a garden, and downstairs is completely open plan living room, dining room and kitchen.

my son is in year 1 and has a lovely little group of friends, we haven’t had anyone over yet as we have been round to his friends houses and they are lovely and big, nice big gardens and just alot bigger than ours! So I’ve been a bit reluctant to invite anyone round.

I bit the bullet and said one of his friends can come tonight, he walked in the house and said “ this house is weird, it’s so small”
and honestly I can’t stop thinking about it.

yes our house is small, but it’s clean and tidy! They both had a great time. But I’ve been so worried what he’s going to say to his parents when he gets home! They’ve never been in our home they’ve just knocked on the door but I’m just so embarrassed and I don’t know why!

moving isnt an option at the moment otherwise I’d be out of here like a flash!!!!!

It’s not just a house it’s your home. It’s where you live with your DC and they are warm, fed and loved. What difference does it make if your house is big or small. There are so many children in this country and abroad who live in absolutely dire conditions.

BruFord · 29/01/2025 21:10

Exactly @Moll2020. I often think about this on cold or rainy nights, that my children are warm and well fed, sleeping in comfortable beds. It doesn’t matter that we don’t have a big fancy house, they’ve got what they need.

croydon15 · 29/01/2025 22:13

Children just tell you as they see it, they are not rude, they just have not learnt to be tactful.

pollymere · 29/01/2025 23:36

We've always lived in a two bed. We decided we didn't need a bigger house.

The kid was rude but truthful. It's small... And apparently weird. Ours is weird because the bathroom is off the kitchen and has weird stairs. Just ask why they think it's weird (whilst wondering where their manners are 😂) and be proud you have a house that you can afford that doesn't cost a bomb in heating or council tax.

Hwi · 30/01/2025 07:39

Sometimesright · 29/01/2025 20:03

Really? He’s 5!!

Show quote history

When do you start teaching people manners, or, if not teaching, pulling them up about acceptable/unacceptable? 25? I am always amazed at comments like that - my toddler brother would come to me and kick me (I am 4 years older and never retaliated, only cried) painfully in the tibia and my parents' standard response was 'he is only 3!!!' and it was obvious that the little shite enjoyed this 'testing of boundaries'. It took my gran one day to cure him of this horrible proclivity, she reciprocated on my behalf, with twice the force. He was cured there and then and never hit again. So, yes, at 5 he is 2 years too old to be taught by my gran's standards, but I guess it is never too late.