Embarrassed about our small house!

[Mumt02]

We moved into this rental property in 2018 whilst I was pregnant with my first son, it was the only thing we could afford in this area and we wanted to stay on the area. It’s a small 2 bed house. Not much of a garden, and downstairs is completely open plan living room, dining room and kitchen.

my son is in year 1 and has a lovely little group of friends, we haven’t had anyone over yet as we have been round to his friends houses and they are lovely and big, nice big gardens and just alot bigger than ours! So I’ve been a bit reluctant to invite anyone round.

I bit the bullet and said one of his friends can come tonight, he walked in the house and said “ this house is weird, it’s so small”
and honestly I can’t stop thinking about it.

yes our house is small, but it’s clean and tidy! They both had a great time. But I’ve been so worried what he’s going to say to his parents when he gets home! They’ve never been in our home they’ve just knocked on the door but I’m just so embarrassed and I don’t know why!

moving isnt an option at the moment otherwise I’d be out of here like a flash!!!!!

Me too! Ours is a Newfie type so has a very ‘doggy’ smell. Im forever scrubbing and washing walls or soft furnishings but I always worry people think a smelly dog lady 😄

Oh that’s so rude! I’d flatten DS at once if he said that.

Y1 DD had a big kick off at me last year cause she wanted to live in a flat like her friend (the whole building is much bigger than our house and she was very jealous). She also had a kick off as she wanted to live in a huge house like another friend (we're not millionaires so that's a non starter).

Her friends visiting our four bedroom semi have said it stinks (referring to our cat's litter tray in the utility room, which she seemed weirdly fascinated by) and that the downstairs toilet is tiny (it's under the stairs so yes she's not wrong). You can't take it to heart.

I know how you feel! We used to live in a 40m² flat with our 1st DC and dog, and all our friends had houses with gardens, and multiple rooms. But it's about how homely it feels, and how comfortable and looked after you make your guests feel. Kids, specially young ones, just state whatever crosses their minds and they think in black and white thinking. As another pp said, coming from a child, I think "weird and small' aren't negatives at all.

Hahahah yesterday, my DC4 said she wanted me and her dad to buy a Jaguar and cried when I said that will never happen (we had just walked past one on our walk on a fancy street) 😅

This. My god the parents would be mortified.

Dont worry OP!

Edit- MN picked up the wrong quote completely. It was one that said children have no filter!

My son had a couple of friends from a hobby, and I gave them a lift home. The first one dropped off lived in a huge architect designed impressive house, the other in a council house on a big estate. Council house boy said, “Wow, wow! Do you live in a house like that? “ When I said no, he replied, “Well it’s not where you live, it’s the people you live with that matters isn’t it?”

You'd think someone in year 1 wouldn't find any house small. It's not like they take up lots of space at that age.
Well, your house is small. So what? Where I live everyone's house is tiny and most of my friends when I was a kid lived in tower blocks.
You shouldn't stop your child from having friends round though, if they are that stuck up about it then they can't be very nice!

Omg, that makes me so teary 🥲🥹

I am laughing now, remembering a very dear friend when I was at primary school. She grew up in a huge house with an enormous garden, two streets away from my two up two down terrace house. Whenever I went round to her house I was madly jealous - because she had Mousetrap and I was desperate for that game. I never noticed the house. She was jealous me because I had riding lessons!

Kids really aren't all about the size of houses. They notice things that are 'different' that's all.

We have a small home with barely any garden. We could’ve moved to a much much bigger house but instead have chosen private education (local state school is dire) and so I do get how you feel as our home is the odd one out compared to the kids’ friends houses. Instead we tend to take the kids and their friends out to places like the beach/woods/different parks and have earned the reputation as being the fun/cool parents so it’s all swings and roundabouts!

Beautifully said!

My son’s friend said our house was dusty after a sleepover. I was mortified. I hoover a lot and also have a robot vacuum cleaner I put on if I go out.
I did find out they slept on the floor in the front room so maybe some dust I had missed must have popped out from under the sofa . . . That’s what I am telling myself anyway!

I had that with one of DS’s friend when they were probably about six ,he said my washing machine wasn’t all nice and white like his Mums 🤨 didn’t bother me he was a lovely boy but my DS never invited anyone back to ours after he got to senior school. He said he didn’t like our house . It was old fashioned. He is 22 now and still doesn’t bring people home !

I just had a very similar thing - we had a friend’s two children for a whole Sunday as a favour, and on the walk home the 6-year-old said ‘Your house doesn’t really feel like a house? Because when you come in there’s just a corridor and the stairs’ (narrow terrace)

I was weirdly hurt! Because I worked so hard to entertain them

but it doesn’t matter, and as everyone has said the atmosphere of the house is the important thing.

I grew up in a massive house but it was BLEAK

My daughter came home from a playdate and said "Jenny's bedroom is tiny! I want a tiny bedroom"... Kids see things differently.

I honestly feel like this alot but my house is small, clean and cosy and most people say so. It's old and often needs a bit of diy or painting here and there but I have plenty of time now my children are a little older and I work less hours. I often envy my friends and families big houses but not their mortgages or the fact that most of them seem to find it impossible to keep clean and tidy due to working all hours to keep it! Alot of people we know with big houses are also living in building site doing them up! No thanks. Kids are tactless, don't overthink it 🙂

Oh my goodness. All he said was it's so small! True! Stop worrying. He couldn't say dirty, smelly, horrible etc because it's none of those! You are being far too materialistic be happy with what you have where you want to be and give your children the same values. Believe me they will benefit in the long run.

I miss having children of that age for a number of reasons and one of those reasons is their innocent honesty. As others have said I guess he has vocalised something that concerns you @Mumt02; the negative judgement from others.

I've always been the church mouse among friends and acquaintances (other parents). I live in an expensive area as that's where my work is and am surrounded by people who have bigger, better homes, lifestyles etc by the look of it. The way I see it, if someone is going to correlate my human value with the value of my home then I'm not interested in what they think. If someone is going to look down on my because I have more modest means then let them. What other people think (positive or negative) really isn't any of my business.

I'd be interested in what you think your house says about you OP?

He’s probably just not used to normal small houses. It’s good for this child to see how other people live! His parents won’t judge. Like you say, clean tidy & loving home in a nice area what more could you want?! Take no notice of kids lol we all know this! I wonder if you thinking on it more than usual because you feel inferior with a smaller house? Please don’t! You’re living within your means. Not everyone has a super fancy house and car etc and that’s ok!!

We have a teeny, tiny house! Even a rabbit would turn its nose up at it😆

But I love it, low ish council tax and bills, it’s perfectly adequate with everything we need! and if anyone says anything I say “we like our small house, it means we have plenty of money to do nice things and have lots of treats”

Our house is (by far) the smallest of my DD’s friendship group but it’s the house all the kids want to be at, they always choose to come here because I make it so much fun for them.

No filter on small children. We had this when my DS was in year 1, had one of his friends over who lived in a big house with a massive back garden and we were in a ground floor flat with a small front garden. Friend strolled in and looked around with almost visual contempt and said rather smugly ‘You live in a flat, we live in a real house!’. I was quite taken aback at the time but I laugh about it now.

Quoting myself as I can’t figure out how to edit a post.

What I saw as his judgement of our flat was all in my head, projected by my own insecurity at the time about the fact that all his friends lived in big houses. I could look back later and see it as it was, just a small child making an observation.

Could have written this myself. We have 4 of us in a tiny two bed house. All my sons friends have huge fancy houses.. He gets really embarrassed. I feel so sorry for him and feel like I'm failing him but we can't move as everything else is just too expensive

Insensitive comment!
just reply with “isn’t it, it’s so chic we’re so happy here”!