The Hoarders Anonymous Thread #7. Keep On Keeping On!

[Solo]

We are a mixed group of likeminded householders that are leading somewhat challenging lives; be that living with too much 'stuff' that we find difficult to deal with, houses that are falling apart (mine included), health issues within the family unit, wider family, or ourselves (myself included) that means sorting out our households is challenging, to say the least. So...

You are all welcome to join us for support, adding your own ideas to help others out, storage ideas, and even tips on actually getting those items out of the house which sounds so simple when you say it, but this part can be so very difficult; we are often attached emotionally to our 'things', afraid of letting things go just in case we need them.
Encouragement and support abound here, and we do not criticise. EVER! We even try not to criticise ourselves as it's not helpful to anyone, but this can be very difficult not to do.

If you are feeling overwhelmed by clutter, mess, disorganisation and generally don't know where to start. If you can't be bothered, but really do want to be bothered. If you think you are a bit lazy, or if you just need to see your highs and lows and everything in between on the screen here, join us, and we will help you. We'll virtually high-five your achievements - small or large, and virtually hug you when the need arises, and if you want a hug, just ask because we are here for you, here for one another because we get it. The art of washing up is sometimes our great achievement of the day, but it's still an achievement.

Welcome to thread #7 of Hoarders Anonymous - Keep On Keeping On!

Thread #6 HERE

well this week’s been crazy, feels like someone pressed fast forward. Sending gentle encouragement to anyone who needs it.

Hi all. I'm trying to plan out the next few days for tidying. Bedroom and kitchen are quite shocking.

At my place of work though it has been quite annoying with other staff leaving dirty dishes in the sink or leaving washed dishes on the drainer instead of drying and putting away.

Also some tenants who have rubbish (empty crisp packets etc) all over the floor. Clutter I wouldn't mind.

How did you get on TalkToTheHand?

Hope you have a slower week this week Miaowse

Thinking of you Elleherd and everything you have to deal with lately

I've been doing a little more decluttering after watching YouTube to inspire me. Currently struggling a bit with some packaging that I want to keep because it's pretty but I don't particularly have anywhere to put it. It needs to go really, if I want pretty boxes in the future I can buy some

I do hope all is well with you @Elleherd and that you're managing to keep all those plates spinning... your builders sound like a nightmare!!

Must admit @Miaowse that my pension admin is still not done in fact I have a loooong admin list to work on when I get chance which is probably never - I'm just so knackered all the time and feel like if I could only get on top of things properly for once, life would be so much easier! I probably need to take a couple of days off work to get straight, but work's really busy at the moment too, so that might cause more problems than it solved...

Wishing you all the best sorting out your finances @KingArthur1964 - I forgot to tell you that CAP Money run money coaching courses, in case that would be useful to you? Also Sort Your Life Out has lots about emotional attachment on the different episodes, about how to keep useful things and let other things go - all the programmes are on BBC iPlayer if you want to watch any.

Hope you had a lovely birthday @Solo ! I strongly suspect that I have ADHD too, which only came about because DTS1 has so many aspects of it - I've learned lots from ADHD websites/ podcasts etc. Also, well done on sending stuff to the charity shop! As you may remember, I must have sent upwards of fifty bags myself and literally all I've missed is one book. It really encouraged me to keep going with the decluttering!

@FiniteSagacity that struck a chord with me about breaking the clutter cycle, both my parents are/ were big hoarders and unable to see it the Organised Mum podcasts have a few episodes on 'The Psychology of Stuff' which I found very helpful - they are all from 1/11/2021 if you want to find them - it's all about why we get attached to items/ unable to declutter and how our attitude can be learned and unlearned.

It was very interesting about your hoarding being due to poverty @BlueSummerBaby (but very sad for you }, we were very poor from when I was around 10 - 16 and that's really stuck with me. I was remembering the other day about how few clothes I had, as I put my DC's clean laundry away; they have a wardrobe and large chest of drawers each, I had a small chest of drawers and it wasn't even full plus DM hated doing laundry and would do the bare minimum, I started having to do my own from around 12 but we had nowhere to dry it, so it would be draped around my bedroom. We had no heating for large chunks of time either as the boiler was old and temperamental then finally broke; again, there was no money to fix it so we spent months without heating and hot water. Maybe me accumulating 'stuff' was a reaction to having very little at a time when it was socially mortifying to not be able to have clean clothes or even a regular bath/ shower?

For me, I'm still struggling with finding time to clean regularly and just keep on top of life admin in general. Aaarrggghhh! I have so many things I'd like to do to improve my quality of life, but just no opportunity to fit them in....

There are positives to not currently having a work contract ...

Over the last few weeks I've completely cleaned and tidied

Bathroom

Bedroom including washed curtains

Landing, stairs and hall

And yesterday did a blitz in the kitchen. Still a way to go, the window and sink are a big thing that requires climbing, and the floor is the last thing to do.

Partner found a local company that does rubbish removal (they sponsor local hospice and organise beach cleans too 🤗) and has ACTUALLY started talking about what they could take away!!! This is huge.

When kitchen's finished I'll do cupboard under stairs - plenty to go there, plus plans for storage so useful STUFF that's currently out and underfoot can be stored & accessed easily.

Then more junk out of the garden.

At which point, the three rooms from hell and the sitting room will have to be tackled - where most of his stuff is piled. But softly softly, the rooms I've done look - and smell - so nice, that I think he will find it easier to let it happen and participate.

Fingers crossed for me! Feeling positive.

Pension updates not done here either Kitty!

Wow, what an inspiring read JFDIYOLO well done

No big achievements here but I’m managing to keep up with the basics and - incredibly - the top of my microwave has been clear of stuff for nearly a month

I still have such a long list of admin jobs to tick off, but made some headway on a few frogs earlier today.

Good luck with doing something, anything, every little thing helps even if it is just 2 minutes better. I need to remember that myself.

It is frustrating feeling like I'm getting nowhere. But as miaowse says little and often works. I've been reminding myself if this today too.

I reorganised a few small places today. I now have a tidier side table, coffee table and electronics shelf. A pile of things that were on the floor (tidily! but still on the floor), now aren't. These things are all permanent changes.

I used a couple of empty pretty storage boxes to store things in the process of making these changes, so now there's less pointless things hanging around too.

Then I decided to turn a bulky pile of papers-related items into a craft project. I'm halfway through it and now that pile is reduced by 90% with the majority recycled.

Are there better things I could have done with my spare time? Undoubtedly. But this is what I did. And it's progress. So I'm trying to be happy about that.

@KittyTalbot thank you, I've got an appointment to speak to someone at financial solutions step change on 10th May, but have that underlying feeling of dread and anxiety as if an earthquake is threatening, horrible feeling but I'm sure many here understand as hoarding, letting things drift in life and getting overwhelmed with stuff all seem to go together don't they.

I will look at the money coaching courses and the sort your life out programme, thank you for that.

I do have a very deep feeling of dread when I start to get things ready for the bins, it's emotional but also physical as I get exhausted, I'm on the third floor so try to carry a large bin bag down rather than smaller bags as my legs get shaky after going down three flights and up again. I try to do four to six big black bags but end up having to run up the stairs or I would just come to a full stop after the last couple of bags my legs are that shaky.

As you say finding time after getting home from work isn't easy, when I'm exhausted after a day at work I also feel emotionally low, and I just want to get to sleep as soon as I can, as I set the alarm for 5.35.

I had a read through all the other posts, sending good wishes to everyone in their ups and downs of dealing with stuff.

Elleherd thinking about you while you are concentrating on work stuff and not getting distracted, hope all is going as well as it can.

Sending strength and solidarity to you all. Thanks for all the support and understanding and encouragement, it’s been months of crisis management that have meant very little time for my own home or family (and almost nothing for me).

Today I have to let an estate agent into hoarding parent’s home - my childhood home - and lay the shame bare. I’m not sure how I’m going to get through it but at least it’s not my own hoard.

I’m going to try not to be defensive and just ask for facts about the reality of selling a property in that state, house clearance etc.

Then I’m going to try to channel sorting my own stuff out first all weekend as not visiting hoarding parent for once.

Currently reading along, but entirely overwhelmed and in a horrible mess on all fronts here that's beyond trying to begin explain at the moment, but the end result is like enforced de-cluttering in reverse. 😞Still holding onto some basics but contract increasingly owns me.

Insane situation is in its final phases and to my own surprise I'm actually still in the ring but tbh very wounded and limping terribly with final decisions to be made by them on Tuesday. It feels too little too late, but it felt like that earlier this week and at the last minute a stoke of luck happened, resulting in managing to pull enough together and unexpectedly survived yesterdays expected cull. It's like being trapped on an entirely insane constantly breaking down and re starting roller coaster.

( If I survive next weeks last round, I'd then have under four weeks to complete. (and trying to clear up to make it possible. If I make it, I'll have beaten off bankruptcy so trying to keep going seems justified, but a hell of a price being paid.)

Hoping to catch up properly with everyone later next week but popped in to say to King Arthur, that learning to live with that unsettling anxious dread is horrible but part of surviving tsunamis, and in the long term will serve you well.
And to Finite Sagacity - Sympathies. Detach as best you can, treat it as a job interview and you are the interviewer, and they are there to be interviewed.

Keep on keeping on everyone.

How did it go FiniteSagacity?

Fingers crossed for you fighting off bankruptcy Elleherd.

Hello, I just found this thread today, and have been reading through. As much as I hate to admit it to myself, I do have definite hoarding tendencies. Frequent house moves have forced me to declutter quite regularly, at times brutally, over the years, and this has stopped it getting too out of hand. I seem to go in cycles of accumulating things up to the point where all the STUFF just drives me crazy, and I long to be rid of the lot of it.

The house doesn't look too bad, but that's because I'm apparently an expert at cupboard tetris. Everything is slotted in carefully in such a way that if I need something, I can usually get it, but it takes ages, and then putting it away is a massive mission, and I don't bother.

Like many on the thread, I feel compelled to buy / keep things because of poverty in childhood. For some reason this often manifests itself in the food shopping, which is strange because although we ate rubbish food, we weren't hungry. My freezer is quite small, but it is crammed full, it was pretty full already, but then yesterday I saw something at a good price, so got some for the freezer. So I had to go through and rearrange it - which was actually quite a useful exercise, because now I know what's in there. I plan to shop as little as possible and use up what's in there, which will also help the grocery bill.

I also have hobbies - except half the time, getting access to the materials and making a space to actually do said hobby makes it too much of a bother, so I don't.

I grew up in a house that was only a bit cluttered, but it was very dirty. I hated it, and I hate visiting now. I don't want my house to be dirty, I want it to be clean and fresh, but cleaning is really hard when there's clutter everywhere, and I have never really known how to keep a clean, tidy house. Apparently little and often is the key, but I can't make myself clean things that already look clean.

Inspired by what I've read here today, I've made a list of a few things I can declutter, and I also emptied the rubbish out of the car door pocket things. I want my home to be a nice place to be, and it currently isn't.

Hi Castlerigg I have to behave myself and keep on working, but just wanted to welcome you to the thread. Lots of lovely people here, all at different stages of recovering their homes, or lapses in trying to.

Lots of what you've posted will resonate with everyone here.
I need to have food supplies everywhere I am to an abnormal level, but one of my worst categories of hoarding is in cleaning supplies - both household and personal. It seems to be a response to growing up in squalor hoarding and food uncertainty. Such issues are pretty common.

Little and often is good for keeping things together, but my big cheat is containers of all forms within cupboards etc. Things stay cleaner longer that way, and containers are quicker and easier to wipe down than the individual items within them. (I am probably a bit extreme though- but a happy medium can help.)
A magnetic board (pound shop) on the fridge/freezer with contents and dates can help with using the contents in a sensible way so you make things work for you, rather than against you. Labels and and a sharpie in a clip box/bag on the door/board keeps things up to date.

Congratulations in naming the issue, and your excellent first steps in identifying things, and clearing your car door pockets. Well done.
I have to be very self disciplined and just keep working away. (until Wednesday) but hope to read your progress.

Of course, I'm late to the party, but this is absolutely a part of what this thread is about. Can you link it?

Sorry Solo, I'm a dinosaur! 🦖🦕 Such things are beyond my capabilities. If you use the search function on YouTube it'll come up. I've watched a few more and some of the videos are specifically about hoarding too. Or rather, they're about clearing the hoard, which is maybe not quite the same thing. It's primarily a cleaning channel.

Is this the channel BlueSummerBaby?
https://m.youtube.com/c/MidwestMagicCleaning

This video?

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=YOQ55uSCrhk

All the luck in the world to Elleherd

FiniteSagacity that sounds very emotional. How did it go with the estate agent yesterday? Be easy on yourself

Welcome Castlerigg! I have a substantial accumulation of food and cleaning supplies too. I’m trying to use things up and resist buying more til we truly need it but it’s a hard habit to break, isn’t it?

Things are not good here, but at least it’s a short work week coming up.

I’m just waiting for my first load of laundry of the day to finish so I can hang that out & get another on. I emptied the dishwasher too. I’ll check in later. Big gold stars and flowers all round, keep on keeping on

Yes that's it Miaowse, thanks.

Thank you @Elleherd 

@BlueSummerBaby is it this?

Sorry, phone didn't show all posts at first. I'm going to check out his videos, but I have to do some work now.

One item to declutter today: I have a virtually new bedsheet and pillow cases that don't fit my bed. I'll offer them to friends first, and if no takers, they'll go in the bag for the charity shop.

Thank you @Miaowse for the link..

Welcome @Castlerigg - you are so welcome here. I too have that cleaning product buying tendency. And other stuff too. Some years ago I discovered that I had so much shower gel that I vowed not to buy more til it was gone. I did it(!), and for various reasons, we changed to tablet soap. Dd will only use one type/brand of soap (Wilkos) and last year I bought up enough of it that she should have supplies for at least 4 years. It was a fear of her having to find an alternative. I use Pears and have several (more than 3) bars of it in thecabinet. I can't allow myself to run out, even though I can use Dds if I do. I also have some gift set shower gels to use and bubble bath. Dd won't use a bar of soap to wash her hands, so I top up the pump dispenser with bubble bath or shower gel. It gets them used up. Eventually.
Cleaning products. Hmmm. I also stopped buying those a few years ago (except last August I bought a bug bottle of flash) as I had so many. I'm still working through them. And after my flood in January, discovered 4 or 5 bottles of surf laundry liquid, on top of the big ariel for whites and persil for darks. The only one that may be replenished is the one for darks. I am actually being really good with these things and not buying more.
So you see. You are amongst friends here.

@Elleherd good luck with everything. I did read through but I think I may not have gone back far enough. Did your lazy builders get finished?

@KingArthur1964 how are you doing? Stairs are a nightmare. I feel your pain even though I don't have three flights. But those trips down with rubbish bags mean you are getting somewhere. Be proud of that.

@FiniteSagacity You are very brave. I hope you got the answers you needed from the agent.

@JFDIYOLO . Wow! You are an inspiration. Fantastic!

I'm sure, as usual I have missed people out. But I am thinking of you all.

I have only done my usual. I now cannot bring myself to leave washing up in the sink overnight. It has to be done before bed. Laundry always done. Changed bedding in the week too.
I do have a bag of bathroom stuff (hair products, mainly) in a bag to go.

Dd says she wants to revamp her wardrobe. Make more of herself. I said I'm not buying more clothes until we've been through the ones she already has and got rid of some. It's not happening. The times she's begged me for something and promised to wear it only to have maybe worn it once. No more!

Keep on keeping on. I'm going to clean my cooker top.

Happy, rainy Bank Holiday!

Hi Solo Could you suggest to DD that she sells some of her clothes on Vinted to raise money for new clothes? I have never used Vinted but it seems very popular and a good way up clear space and make some dosh!

Oh, goodness me, no. I don't sell stuff on eBay or Vinted. I don't trust people. I'd be the one to send something with the tags still on and they'd say it had a sweat stain under the arms. It makes me nervous tbh. I should do it. I have a lot.

I totally understand that - I don’t attempt to sell either because I don’t have the organisational skills/executive function to keep on top of packaging and posting etc.

Thanks for all the support 💐

Estate Agent was absolutely great - it’s not the worst she has seen (wow) and the agent gets interest in the area from investment buyers, so it could be easier than I’d feared.

But I still need to tackle the hoard and to convince the home owner.

@Solo I hope your cooker top makes you proud each time you look at it.

I had a charity pick up today but only 1 box (from my own house) as I had a very unproductive weekend where I made a bigger mess and didn’t succeed at much other than shining my sink and recycling.