The Hoarders Anonymous Thread #7. Keep On Keeping On!

[Solo]

We are a mixed group of likeminded householders that are leading somewhat challenging lives; be that living with too much 'stuff' that we find difficult to deal with, houses that are falling apart (mine included), health issues within the family unit, wider family, or ourselves (myself included) that means sorting out our households is challenging, to say the least. So...

You are all welcome to join us for support, adding your own ideas to help others out, storage ideas, and even tips on actually getting those items out of the house which sounds so simple when you say it, but this part can be so very difficult; we are often attached emotionally to our 'things', afraid of letting things go just in case we need them.
Encouragement and support abound here, and we do not criticise. EVER! We even try not to criticise ourselves as it's not helpful to anyone, but this can be very difficult not to do.

If you are feeling overwhelmed by clutter, mess, disorganisation and generally don't know where to start. If you can't be bothered, but really do want to be bothered. If you think you are a bit lazy, or if you just need to see your highs and lows and everything in between on the screen here, join us, and we will help you. We'll virtually high-five your achievements - small or large, and virtually hug you when the need arises, and if you want a hug, just ask because we are here for you, here for one another because we get it. The art of washing up is sometimes our great achievement of the day, but it's still an achievement.

Welcome to thread #7 of Hoarders Anonymous - Keep On Keeping On!

Thread #6 HERE

@Solo I’m so sorry ! What happened ?

@Solo sending a huge hug, that sounds devastating

Commiserations Solo. I'm guessing part of the hell is some enforced decluttering due to flood damage to items. Hope you're all ok and there's no serious damage to the property. 💐

Solo also commiserations, I'm so sorry, know only too well how horrible it is. And a bloody nightmare to deal with.
Also hoping the property (assuming home not storage unit) isn't too badly damaged.
Hoping for lots of strength and energy for you to come to terms with it, and deal with the results.

Thank you all. Burst pipe in the loft, I think. My neighbour called me on Friday to say water was gushing out of my roof. Of course, I'm not in a position to let anyone in. The water is off and we are getting bottles of water from next door and my brother to wash with, drink and clean; it's not easy, but it's entirely my fault so I've got to get on with it. We have no lights upstairs either.
I've been sorting out. But the stair carpet is smelling awful. I've thrown out so much paper and I've hardly touched one room! But I'm forced to do it now. I've actually been much more ruthless than before, but I have so much to do and Dd is bloody bone idle. My back hurts and I want to run away.
In terms of damage, I think I've been fairly lucky. There's superficial damage to ceilings and the stair carpet, and the kitchen and hall laminate is ruined. Thd sitting room wall adjoining the kitchen is damp too. This won't be done on my insurance, because so much needs doing to my house. I think they'll refuse anyway. But this is certainly a wake up call and one that I should've heard after having to deal with my mum's flood the year before last. I'm just exhausted 😩
It was my intention to replace the stair carpet and laminate anyway, so that was in my thoughts beforehand.
Some positive vibes thrown my way are welcome. I'm going to do this!

So sorry to hear your news @Solo - something like that would have been a nightmare for me before I sorted out the loft (which took me days!), the thought of people having to poke around in my stuff - I do hope you can get things resolved as quickly and painlessly as possible, and as you say, at least part of it was on your 'to do' list beforehand. Sending hugs!

The state of our kitchen is really getting me down, with the non-tiled splashback still not being done (after 9 years!!) - I'm going to wait till DP goes away with his friend and then go at it with sealant tape and new self adhesive tile borders. The current one is from the pound shop anyway and has lasted a good couple of years, it made the walls look a lot less tatty but a refresh is definitely needed! Just frustrating as it could have been done really nicely in the first place, but DP's mate let us down so often and just never got round to it...

Were you able to sort out your car MOT @Elleherd? Your words about my parents controlling their environment definitely rang a bell, they couldn't control my sibling's condition or how they would develop, but they 'controlled' their home to the extent of making any visitors feel quite unwelcome. Even now I find it stressful having people in the house in case we're being judged, and this is 30+ years later! My parents stuffed the place to the rafters with things they didn't need and neglected the things they actually did need: a nice sofa, working boiler, windows which didn't let in howling gales... I sometimes want to tell my DC how lucky they are to have hot water whenever they want, clean clothes, a (reasonably) tidy house etc, but then I think I'll sound about 100 and very grumpy

I thought I'd posted a couple of days ago, but clearly not! Very little to report from here other than I'm working away at this huge order that I'm not making enough headway on. Have to get tax assessment and launderette done. Tree is still up and joyfully, so are two down the road! They are braver than me, and have them displayed proudly in their front windows. I wouldn't dare, but I admire them.

KittyTalbot Yes it went through the MOT, thanks. We brought our children up to expect the things we didn't have, so the wretches tend to do just that!😂 Mine laugh at me when they catch me smiling at the hot water coming out of the tap.

Solo I hope things are under better control and that you have a water supply or even sort of one? I know how difficult it can all be and that you may not be able to. Hoping your back is dealing with it all better.
Have you talked to the insurance company at all or is that actually a bad idea in the circumstances? (forgive me if I'm being stupid, I know very little about how home insurance works)
I have everything very crossed for you, and you can do this, because if I have it right, there isn't anyone else who is going to, and therefore you're going to develop whatever skills and strengths you have to, because that is what you do. Wishing you every strength and luck, and thinking of you.

Thank you KittyTalbot and Elleherd for your support.
I think water is finally back on this afternoon as my son sorted it out for me. It turned out that a pipe had come away from a valve that feeds the electric shower (that doesn't work). I'm at my brother's place right now having been fed, and I'm hoping there's no water escape when I get home - or any other time!
Positives so far are that I've thrown away so much paper waste. And a few other things too. I have several bags for charity. More to follow.
A plus point. My son was living with a girl that he was going to marry, and she didn't allow things like books, to the point that when I asked him if he wanted his books, he told me to throw them away. Of course I didn't do that and yesterday, he asked if I still have them. He wants to start reading again! Yippee! He will have them back and hopefully will start reading and I'll have a little space!
I'll report back.
Hope you're all doing okay.

Well done Solo! Of the various things it could have been causing it, a pipe coming away from a valve sounds reasonably deal-able with. Glad DS was able to step up and assist.
I thought it sad when you said before that things hadn't worked out for him and SO, but ...didn't allow things like books? He's dodged a bullet!
Glad you didn't do as asked and that he's both going to get back to reading and clearing you some space in the process.

@Solo that's encouraging news about your leak, hopefully it can be sorted relatively easily! And great work throwing stuff away plus giving bits to charity I have to say, I got rid of a lot of physical books when I went through the loft, but that was because I had duplicates of them/ had subsequently bought them for my Kindle/ just didn't want them any more... I'd never have a book free house

Good news about the MOT @Elleherd ! My DC were aghast when I told them about chequebooks and not being able to pay by card/ phone. "You actually had to carry it around?!" they said, astonished...

Well, I've spent a whole day going through DS1's room, it's the last big area of clutter that I need to do BUT of course it's a big one I probably have another 3 - 4 hours to, do to really crack it. I have 6 bags to go to charity, 2 bags of recycling, 1 bag of rubbish so far - and a couple of large boxes of toys which hopefully will go to school. I was thinking about the many, many bags which have gone out of the house since I started a massive declutter - it's amazing isn't it, if they were all brought back then I'd have no idea where to put everything, I'd think there's no way I could fit it all back into the house - but of course it was all here to begin with!

In other news, DP has been a complete arse today; he knew what I was planning to do and could see me getting on with it, but would he look after the DC properly/ feed them/ make sure they'd done their homework without me prompting him?! Of course bloody not - and he was in an absolutely foul mood because I was busy and couldn't do everything around the house as per usual...

Elleherd & KittyTalbot So far, so good! I've been trying to work a plan in my head for the house clearing:

1. Clear the floordrobe in my main bedroom - currently Dd and I sharing.
2. Clear the 2nd bedroom, putting clothing to keep in wardrobe in main bedroom and taking up the carpet from the 2nd BR, unpacking one of the chest of drawers that I bought years ago that I've not even looked at yet and using it for clothes. Bag up stuff to go.
3. Get rid of the pine single bed frame from 2nd BR.

More thinking and planning to do, but that's a start for the upstairs...

Got the kitchen, hall and stairs to clear and clean first though.

Positive vibes to you all to keep on keeping on.

Solo That sounds like a really good starting plan's evolving for upstairs. IME breaking it down into parts is a good way of figuring out not only what needs to be done, but the actions that will need to be done to achieve it, and realistic time frames.
IE the 'get rid of' has been mentally achieved, which allows working out how that might be physically achieved. It also means that if an unexpected opportunity comes up you're much closer to being able to take the necessary actions to take advantage of it.

Hope the clean up goes well. If I remember, I do stretching exercises before starting on clean ups, and it really does help. Even if fit, the nature of them is we use our bodies in different ways from normal. (tbh I usually forget and remember after the pain starts to seep in!)

Kitty Talbot
Wow that's really good progress. Re the amount that's gone and where it was living, we tetrus stuff surprisingly well even if not actively trying! It's also why when we try to sort out things get untidier before tidy.
Sorry DP is being a pain over stepping up to make things possible. Try not to react and keep going. He'll hopefully get habituated to it.

Early start. Still trying to complete work projects, but work space has suffered power loss so not using it yet. Dark here and child that I am, I'm enjoying the glow from the Christmas tree lights for the last time before it's gone.

As Candlemas is fast approaching, (my last excuse for still having a tree up) I started on dismantling it yesterday. (bigger job than might sound) I'm trying to photograph ornaments as they come of so I can later print out pics and store and locate things more easily. (There's a lot!) Got most of the hooks sorted out.
Aiming to get all the light covers, lights and tinsel off, (again a lot) and the tree cut up, bagged, and to compost recycling, in one hit today. But wrapping and packing all the ornaments will have to wait, as I also have to produce the public face of one of the projects I'm working on late this afternoon and there's lots still to be done for it to be ready, and tomorrow is tax assessment deadline as well as a need to get on top of ongoing work projects. Still waiting for contact over builders.

Hi all. Had a little tidy up today. Not great but good for me since I haven't done much in a while. Hoping I can make it a regular habit.

I'm quite motivated by the fact that you can tidy quite a bit in a short period of time. Just need to make sure I have plenty of energy.

He's got rid of the sleeping bag!

As long as I've known him it's sat as an unused and sullen nylon sausage in one of the Rooms From Hell.

This morning he announced he needs to get rid of it. It's going to the clothing bank for a homeless people's charity clothes bank right now.

Progress.

Hi friends. How's it going?
I've kept on top of the washing up. Sorted out my electric toaster which got soaked in the flood. It's dried out, and still works okay which I'm really happy about as it was a house warming gift from my parents nearly 30 years ago. I sorted a shelving unit on wheels that mostly has tinned and jarred foods on/in, and I transferred a new dinner set that I've now had for many years but was still in the box - which got wet, and so the box has gone. I still have much to do there...
I cleared and cleaned the bathroom window sill and have done the laundry - well, most of it.
I've wasted the whole weekend except for the laundry and washing up as I've been really tired.

I'm sorting out some more storage that'll mean a few piles of floor stuff is off the floor, some temporary storage will be discarded as a result, some things it's not easy to get to will become easy to get to and the rooms it's happening in will look tidier. I'm looking forward to the end result.

The winter has seen lots of discarded shrunken clothes here, from the necessity of tumble drying. I need to think about thinning out craft supplies and books this year.

@JFDIYOLO I love your description of the sleeping bag “unused and sullen nylon sausage” Progress indeed, shiny star for your DH.

@Solo how are you feeling after all the stress?

I’m still stuck and we’re already at half term, where the hell is the time going?

Dishwasher, laundry (barring the putting away step) and cooking routines all under fairly good control but that’s about the only positive thing I can report.

How are things with your builders, @Elleherd ? And how is work going?

KittyTalbot, has your DH gone on his trip yet?

@Solo well done on getting on with the clearing up - I love a plan! Glad the toaster could be salvaged too I have a new dinner set lurking in a cupboard which I bought in the Dunelm sale to replace our mismatched crockery, but still haven't swapped round I thought our old stuff would be smashed by the DC ages ago, but it's been a year now and all is still ok, bizarrely!

Hope your tree taking-down has gone well @Elleherd - also asking for news on your builders, has there been any progress?

Pleased your DH has agreed to get rid of his sleeping bag @JFDIYOLO my DP has just gone on holiday with a friend and had a massive sulk because he couldn't find his travel bag from last year. It couldn't be anywhere in the enormous pile of crap in his wardrobe, oh no, I must have moved it even though I've never actually seen it...

I completely empathise with your storage wishes @BlueSummerBaby; I'm currently on the search for a new shoe rack, but I need one with very specific dimensions and can't afford £££, so the hunt continues!

We have another week to go till half term @Miaowse but I already have holiday clubs booked for the DC for every day. No way am I trying to entertain them for whole days in February weather when DP is off sunning himself! Work is far more relaxing

I've spent most of the day doing general cleaning and tidying, had a big kitchen sort out - plan for tomorrow is to go through the freezer too. I'm hoping that I can properly organise a cleaning & meal plan routine for three people - me + two DC - then slotting one more back in when he returns in about a month won't be as difficult as it has been trying to get into a routine for four people... I'm following the TOM app as much as I can but some things still defeat me!

Miaowse I'm okay. I think! Much to do and sort out and clear and clean, but I will get it done. Tomorrow, I think more of the clothing to be gone through and bags of stuff sent to charity shops.
Thank you.

I also loved the sleeping bag description!

We can and will get this done 😊

I have yet more bags to go to the charity shop too @Solo - my decluttering quest never ends!!

DP is on holiday now and DTS1 is being hard work... I thought he was missing DP but when I ask him if he wants to call Daddy he isn't bothered, so I'm not sure! And I am just exhausted really - in many ways it's easier without DP here (less cooking, washing, cleaning, having him constantly criticising etc...) but in others it's tricky without someone else to ferry the DC around to their constant activities!

I have eased back a bit on the cleaning this week - still on top of the major bits but a couple of minor things have fallen by the wayside - the laundry in particular is just really time consuming with the weather being so bad. I thought I'd find time to do some proper meal planning and admin stuff - I really need to go through my budget, check direct debits etc - but it never happens! And I still haven't gone through the freezer either

I don't know if I'm just badly organised and/ or slow, but how do other people have hours of time free?! Every spare minute of mine seems to be accounted for with chores!!

KittyTalbot I don't know where to find the time. For me it's having mutually available time, energy and mindset. This happens rarely.
I actually haven't done any further charity bagging. But Sunday, I'm really hoping I'll get stuff done. So right now, I should be asleep.

JFDIYOLO congratulations on Dh's removal of the "unused and sullen nylon sausage." Brilliant description!

Solo Glad your toaster survived. It's silly the attachments of meaning we form to things but we do. Hopefully it's survival is something in the ether reminding you of when you started out in your home and the possibilities that can be reclaimed.
"mutually available time, energy and mindset" are really hard to line up, but it's great to hear you getting through it regardless.

BlueSummerBaby impressed with your clear plan. Hope it's coming together?

Miaowse I've come to the conclusion there is a time sprite. It quietly exists alongside us, and sucks up every bit of time that it can, and turns it to dust and fluff that it then liberally spreads around the home, to keep us busy enough that we don't notice it's existence.
Well done keeping the routines together. Builders and work are a disaster, I'll stick it in an update.

Kitty Talbot There are never hours of free time. There is time that is scraped and stolen out of time put aside for other things. There is the belief that if I could just work harder or smarter, somehow I could get on top of the backlogs. I think those people with hours of free time, mainly have only themselves at home, or have started with a workable environment in the first place, and that's really hard to create when you don't have one, and other peoples needs have to be accommodated too.

Update SNAFU - though did get tree down before Candlemas. Ornaments wrapped up into boxes, but boxes not away. Lights coiled but sitting out, waiting for replacement bulbs. Still a tray of small stuff to be wrapped, and an unsorted box of unbreakable bits waiting to be dealt with. Half done jobs again.

Every room has everything piled in the center waiting for builders. Couple of visits to update info, but no actual survey. Very fraught calls have ended with landlord making threats, so I've backed off, left things as told to, apart from the room I'm working in. Depressing but probably sensible.

Massive issue with work space as they have our rent but no power. Promising to refund as usable space later. But I need it now.

My work got rejected as incomplete over very small niggles. Unusually harsh, but contractually on me. Then became clear end client had changed their mind over what they ordered and looking for any excuse.
The company I'm commissioned by is also struggling to survive, and moved on to the next project expecting me to focus on that, but agreed to negotiate.
The industry is collapsing and TBH I kind of gave up. Everything I touch currently gets messy. I was going to finally cut my loses and quit.

Yesterday got the news a compromise has been reached, but I now have to design and remake everything to the end clients new spec with insufficient time, with lots of changed measurements as well. Also has to be done alongside the next parts of the projects (should have already been working on) and new work.

It's a horrible balance with no one really happy, and everything a mess, physically and metaphorically. I should be grateful as it's a financial disaster and reputation lifeline, but I'm deeply exhausted and unsure I can do this anymore.

What's definite is there will be no de-cluttering or much other than a holding pattern going on here for a few weeks. I knew the start of the year was going to be a mess, but...

I'm re-starting the whole work project today, trying to create some energy.
Minus a couple of hours for launderette and max one hour to aunt, and try and get a ahead of tomorrow.